Almost
by jaybunzy0
Summary: Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?
1. What's Past is Prologue

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Just putting this out there to see the response it gets. I have every intention of finishing up The Best Man before starting this so don't worry. The plot bunny just wouldn't go away and I was curious as to what people think of this story. So read and let me know in the reviews. Thanks xx **

* * *

_Prologue... Summer 2014…_

* * *

"You made me fall for you, you asshole!"

The rain pelted down, crashing into the pavement which harshly sent it away. It was nearly poetic. The ricochet continued for the beat it took for the hurt to register on Damon's face. She could see it all there: the pain, the hurt, the regret. It still didn't change a thing. It didn't change the fact that he was _really_ with Charlotte now. It didn't change the fact that the blame that came out of her mouth wasn't who it was truly aimed at. It was her own damn fault. She had fallen for the wrong guy at the wrong time and it was too late.

"Elena..." he began, but stopped once he realized there was really nothing he could say.

His hands still reached out to her though, the way they always did. He made the move to cradle her face, to take something that was once so strong, that now was fragile, in between his rough hands. She couldn't accept it though. His touch on her skin would surely kill her.

Elena shook her head, held her hands up, and backed away slowly. "No. No. No." Her eyes looked up and met his and caught the stray tear that quickly mixed with the rain. "Don't," she stated in a firm voice. It didn't match the weakness she felt in her bones of those icy blue eyes of his.

This boy had made her weak and she hated him for it. Somewhere deep down, hidden below the overwhelming, soul-crushing love she felt for him was a hatred for the way he made her feel. She wasn't this person and yet he had forced her to become it. The first time she had let love into her heart it had burned her but now it just wrecked her beyond repair. What was the point?

"Maybe if you had told me-" Damon began.

She grabbed hold of his jacket. "Don't do this to me, Damon. Don't placate me with 'what if's."

The phone in Damon's pocket began to ring and Elena let out a strangled cry. She couldn't stand here any longer with Charlotte's presence putting more and more distance between them. With one last panting breath, she lost whatever shred of hope she had left. Lifting her hoodie up, she turned away from him and let the tears fall. There was no holding back now not when everything she wanted could no longer be hers.

As she walked away the only sound that filled her ears besides the rain was Damon's voice calling out for her.

* * *

_Nine years ago... November 2005…_

* * *

"Huge party at my place," Damon announced as he handed out his flyer.

Bonnie laughed. "Your father is going to kill you. You know that, right?"

Shrugging, he passed out another flyer to an unexpecting passerby. "You only live once."

"Yeah. Most people also want to live long."

Before he could give her some witty response he heard Bonnie's name being called amongst the crowd. They both turned to see a brunette racing towards them clutching her books in her hand and waving frantically. She was stunning in a laid back, easy way that wasn't outright with her looks. She seemed to barely have any makeup on and she wore a tank top and jeans that she had paired with black converses. Everything about her would seem simple and yet for some reason she seemed anything but.

"Hey, Elena!" Bonnie responded when the girl had reached them.

She seemed out of breath and yet she was smiling. "Can I borrow your notes for Biology? I completely zoned out and missed the second half."

"Of course," Bonnie responded, pulling out her notebook from her backpack and handed it to her. She seemed to remember Damon standing there and gestured to him with her thumb. "Do you know Damon?"

"I don't believe we've met. Senior, right?"

Damon nodded. "I'm having a party. You should come."

The girl blushed and took hold of the flyer he handed her. "Um, maybe." She looked back towards Bonnie. "I'll talk to you later, okay? My dad's going to kill me for being late. Bye!"

And just like that she ran off towards the parking lot. Damon watched her as she hopped into the cab of a car and raced off. No one had ever been so off hand with him. It was then that he remembered Bonnie was still standing next to him. He looked back at her as she continued to stare at him with a knowing glance. "What is that look for?"

"Oh, nothing. Just call it intuition." She zipped up her backpack. "I'll see you at the party, Damon."

Damon brushed off the comment. Bonnie was always saying weird crap like that as if she was some kind of witch or something. Nothing had been proven. It wasn't like she could possibly know what was going through his head as he watched Elena blow him off. He didn't even know the girl. She was just some Junior who had Bio with Bonnie. It wasn't like he had ever seen her before. He tended to let girls come to him. That required little work from his part.

Yet here he was back at home looking through his Facebook friends to see if Elena had friend requested him at some point. He couldn't find her in his friends list and so of course he wandered over to Bonnie's friends and there she was: Elena Gilbert.

Her profile picture was a group photo of her with Bonnie and a blonde Damon knew named, Caroline Forbes. The girls were smiling wide and standing by the falls. It seemed her and Bonnie were more than just Bio buds. When he couldn't search for more photos of her on her own page, he went back to Bonnie's and stalked. And there was tons.

Damon couldn't believe he had never noticed her before. Almost all of Bonnie's photos had Elena in them and she also commented on nearly everything Bonnie posted. The two seemed like best friends and he couldn't believe their paths had never crossed. It wasn't like Mystic Falls was that big of a school. He felt the sudden urge to learn more about her. So, he sent her a friend request.

Followed by a message:

_Hope to see you at my party tonight [; _

The following minutes were agonizing. He pretended that he didn't care. He scrolled through the endless nobodies that he was friends with. Tons of "selfies" and pictures of cats. He liked or commented when necessary. Laughed at some corny videos his friends Mason and Ric had posted. All while flicking his eyes to that little message bubble every few seconds waiting for the notification to pop up.

Then it did.

_Stalker much?_

His smile beamed.

_Just trying to get an attendee count. Don't flatter yourself._

Smooth.

_Wow. You certainly know how to get a lady to come to a party, don't you_?

Maybe not so much. He quickly recovered.

_Happy to see the whole asshole thing doesn't work on you. Makes things interesting._

He waited.

_Look. I'm not interested but my friend Caroline is. We'll stop by around 8pm. _

And then she signed off.

Just then he noticed the red notification over his friend requests.

**Elena Gilbert has accepted your friend request. **

He clicked her name and checked out her profile. She posted tons of quotes and photos. Way more than anyone he was friends with. The girl was gorgeous though. Definitely photogenic. And she barely wore makeup; something he wasn't used to. Most of the girls in this town covered their faces in the stuff but not this girl. And she didn't need it. She seemed like a lot of fun and he couldn't wait to party with her. He definitely seemed interested even if she said she wasn't. He'd check her friend Caroline out but he was going to try and make something happen with Elena tonight even if it was just to figure out his interest in her.

After Facebook stalking the girl for at least a half hour he finally logged out to get his place ready for the party. He set out some snacks and had his annoying little brother gather up some CD's since he was such the music aficionado. Damon ordered some pizza's and made sure all the necessary doors were shut with signs that promised an ass kicking if they were opened. Most importantly his own. Once everything was all set up and ready to go the brothers cranked up the music, turned on the TV, and readied the drinks. Minutes later the party guests started wandering in.

He shot the shit with his buddies and flirted with some girls but his eyes kept searching the door waiting for a certain brunette to walk in. Never had he been this uninterested at a party. He usually just focused on whatever girl he was talking to not waiting around for one like some fool. Life was meant to be taken not waited to be lived. He checked his phone for the hundredth time and saw it was after eight.

Guess she wasn't coming.

Just then his eyes just happened to look towards the door to see Bonnie and that girl Caroline walk in. Elena Gilbert was right behind them, looking uncomfortable. She was dressed in jeans and Converses with some pink shirt that cut off at her elbows. Her arms were crossed and it perked up her chest just enough to give him a peek. His eyes met her face and saw that she was looking at him. She caught him looking.

With a roll of her eyes, she mumbled something to her friends and they made their way to the bar. Bonnie was chatting with some freshman who had somehow got invited and was following her around like a puppy and Caroline was talking animatedly with some girls her recognized from the cheerleading squad. Elena was alone and this was his chance. He made his way towards her and started to help her with the keg. "Let me help you with that."

"I'm perfectly capable of doing it on my own."

He backed away with his hand in the air. "Whatever you say. It's gonna be all froth and not enough beer."

She stepped back from the keg and took a sip of her drink, making a disgusted face as it went down. Her body visibly shivered and she stuck her tongue out. "How do people drink that?"

He stared at her for a moment as realization dawned on him. "Was that your first beer?"

Elena's eyes shot to his and narrowed. "You say that like it's a bad thing. I'm 16. Drinking age is 21."

"Thanks for the amendment lesson," he smirked.

Rolling her eyes again, she turned away and looked for someplace to discard her drink. Damon took the red Solo cup and dumped the contents into his nearly empty one. "I'll grab you a water."

"Thanks. That's the first decent thing you've said since we met."

Damon shrugged. "I have my moments." He led them to the kitchen and got her a bottle of water.

"Thank you." She took a sip and smiled gratefully. "So, do you want to meet Caroline?"

He looked passed the doorway where the blonde was still engaged in conversation. "She seems busy. Plus, I'd rather talk to you."

Elena seemed taken aback. "And why's that?"

"Intrigue."

"I promise you I'm not that interesting."

He shrugged. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

She smiled and his heart skipped a beat. What the hell was that? That's shit that happens in those chick flicks some hookups have forced him to. He shook off the feeling just as Elena asked, "What would you like to know?"

He had to stop himself from saying: _Everything._


	2. Chapter 1: Misunderstanding

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thanks to the overwhelmingly positive feedback on the prologue of this story, I've decided to continue it! This story is going to be unlike anything I've written before. There are going to be very morally questionable situations that these two will put themselves in and there will be a slight dark theme early on. I'm going to try to make these chapters longer and more thought out but I'm unsure of how it will end. That's why your feedback will mean a lot this time around. Hopefully you'll decide to stick with me!**

**The storyline picks up from the past aka the second half of the prologue and will catch up to the present aka the first half and go beyond that to the repercussions and aftermath of the fight in the rain.**

**Special thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and beta'ing! If you're not already reading her story Claiming Heart and Spaces what are you doing with your life? Seriously. She's awesome. Read all her stories!**

**And without further ado… Here we go…**

* * *

_A year later… September 2006..._

* * *

"Hey! Yo, Gilbert!"

Rolling her eyes, Elena turned to see Damon Salvatore walking towards her with his arm around Andie Starr, a senior like herself, as well as his girlfriend for the past year. Her dark brown hair hung just to her shoulders and she smiled up at Damon as he ushered her towards the quad where Elena stood. The two of them had been attached at the hip ever since a party brought them together. Everywhere Andie went, Damon wasn't far behind. It was actually kind of sweet seeing how smitten he was.

And she ought to know considering the two of them had struck up a sort of friendship since his party over a year ago. They had spent the whole party talking and getting to know each other. It was easy and comfortable and even with her chugging down water bottles and him refilling his Solo cup, they had a lot in common. They had the same taste in music and movies and she loved to laugh and he made her smile. He hadn't left her side for the whole party which caused a stir of rumors to which Caroline had insisted was because he was hitting on her—a hint of jealousy in her accusations.

The whole party had been Caroline's idea; she had been unusually insecure and made Elena promise to tag along despite the whole thing definitely not being her scene. When they got there, Caroline bee-lined for her cheerleading friends and left Elena to her own devices. Even when she tried to talk her best friend up and call her over, the blonde didn't budge. The whole party she was aloof and shy and very un-Caroline. In the end, she hooked up with a guy from their class and Elena spent the night becoming friends with Damon Salvatore. And it had been that way for the past year.

Despite the initial attraction she felt for Damon, he was someone her best friend was into. That meant hands-off in her world. Even when Caroline moved on, neither of them made a move. The friendship was new and fun and neither seemed to want to mess with that. So, he met and fell for Andie and she eventually found someone all her own.

Damon and Andie had reached them by now. He gave her his lopsided smirk and a knowing look. "Heard you took Mikaelson's v-card," he jabbed.

Elena's eyes widened, shooting an accusatory glance at Andie. "You told him!"

Andie shrugged. "We tell each other everything. Plus, I figured you would've told him already."

"Well, I hadn't."

Even though the two of them were friends, they hadn't exactly swapped bed stories. It was Andie who had revealed that Damon and she had done it and since Elena was hardly a virgin when she had first met Damon, the topic of her own sex life never came up with him. It wasn't a secret that Damon didn't have an innocent bone in him so the conversation of sex stayed off the table. The only mention of it was when Damon had mentioned that her boyfriend was a virgin and gave her tips on deflowering when the experience was at her end. The conversation hadn't lasted long and quickly switched to other topics, but her cheeks still burned.

Now here she was with red cheeks once more and a smartass Damon beside her. Some things never changed. "Aw, it's okay. Not like the whole school doesn't know that," and he took a quick breath before he yelled, "THAT ELENA GILBERT TOOK NIK MIKAELSON'S VIRGINITY!"

She slapped his chest hard. "Shut up!" Her eyes were looking around praying that everyone was too consumed by their own lives to hear him. Boy, was she was wrong. Looks and laughter and whispers were directed at her and she covered her eyes and groaned.

The feeling of arms wrapping around her caused her to uncover her eyes to see her boyfriend, Nik, holding her. "I'm not embarrassed."

That made one of them.

She sighed, eager to exit the conversation pronto. "Yeah. Well, we better get going. We have a busy night tonight."

"Yeah, I bet you do," Damon sang, holding out his hand for Nik to high five. Which he did. _Boys_.

They said their goodbyes and climbed in the cab of Nik's car. When they drove off leaving Mystic Falls High far behind, Elena was left to her thoughts. She had been dating Nik for a year and while it had started off as a way for her to try something new—he was unlike any other guy she ever dated—it had turned into something real. Where the guys she used to date had been huge players and hard to tie down, Nik was nice and sweet and attentive. She truly felt like she was his whole world. It was a nice change of pace, but it had taken some getting used to.

In the beginning she agreed to date him as a way to shut him up. Not exactly something she was proud to admit. Nik had spent the better part of two months asking her out and she had continually said no. Then after a long talk with Caroline, she finally agreed. The intensity he showed her was a little shocking to her and she spent the first few months of their relationship distant and not really letting herself feel for him. At her lowest, she had even hooked up with an old boyfriend, telling herself it wasn't cheating until an "I love you" was said - which at that point, it hadn't been.

Then they got in a car accident that left him with a busted shoulder and her thankfully with only bruises and the whole dynamic changed. She confessed everything and they started anew. A clean slate. But was there really such a thing? Nik seemed to forgive her for her past and the way she acted but there would be moments and comments that told her that maybe he wasn't as okay with it as he seemed. There was a cruel harshness that popped up every now and again—something that hadn't existed before the accident and frightened her. Still, she pushed it aside, determined to make it work.

"Does it bother you that I wasn't a virgin?" she blurted out.

Nik was caught off guard. "What? No."

"Honestly?" She knew him too well.

He was silent for a moment. "Honestly? Yes, but we can't have everything."

"No, I suppose we can't."

Her head turned towards the window and stared out of it. Her mind was miles away. Back at a party by a keg where her brown eyes focused on blue.

* * *

"I'm totally thinking of piercing my belly button. What do you think?" Caroline questioned over the roar of the field hockey game.

They were in a huge group up at the top of the stands. All of her friends were here including Caroline, Bonnie, Damon, Andie and a few others and she was sitting between Nik's spread legs, resting her back against him as she looked up at her best friend. It was the newest of obsession Caroline found herself focused on lately. With her mother being the town Sheriff, she was constantly in a state of rebelling while still trying to hang on to that good girl image.

It was Bonnie who chimed in first. "I'm definitely getting one as soon as I have the money."

"Oh! Yes! You can get it with me!" Caroline clapped her hands gleefully. She looked down at Elena. "You in?"

"I don't know," she said. "The whole needle gun thing isn't really something I get excited over."

Bonnie let out an exasperated breathe. "That's what you said when we went to get our second hole done. Then you felt like a badass."

"Plus, I'm sure Nik will love it. Won't you?" Caroline addressed Nik.

Nik turned his attention away from the game. "Not really. Elena's body isn't exactly like yours and Bonnie's. She can't really pull it off."

Multiple sets of widened eyes turned towards Nik in disgusted shock. Elena's head only fell into her hands before she couldn't take the awkwardness or the heat of her friends eyes anymore. Without uttering a single word, she stood and walked away. There it was again: the cruel harshness. Whether it was comments about her looks or past, somehow Nik found a dig. The "old her" wouldn't have stood for it but there was that guilt weighing her down telling her it was her fault he was like this. If she hadn't cheated on him, he would still be that sweet attentive boy she first met. She ruined him.

As she reached the chain-link fencing that surrounded the fields, she pressed her back against it and slid down into the dirt. The comments and insults she could handle, but when he made them in public, in front of her friends, it got overwhelming and she truly questioned whether he was worth it anymore. Then it seemed her head played back the comments, playing them over and over again on repeat. Maybe he was right. She wasn't exactly a walking bombshell model like Caroline with her long legs and size zero body or small and petite like Bonnie. Instead, she had curves and muscle. Who did she think she was getting a belly button piercing?

"Is this seat taken?"

Elena's eyes flashed up to see Damon standing beside her, gesturing to the dirt. Her eyes looked past him to where she could see Caroline motioning angrily with her hands and Bonnie turned in the same direction in a judgmental pose. Even when she couldn't fight her battles, her friends seemed to be willing to. Could she be any more pathetic?

"Nope."

Damon collapsed next to her, bending his knees and resting his arms on them. They sat there in comfortable silence watching the game and their friends from afar. It wasn't until the period had ended that he finally spoke. "He wasn't right, you know."

"What?"

"What Nik said about you; he couldn't be further from the truth."

She rested her chin on her knees, hugging her legs. Not really believing him. "Thanks."

He sighed. "I want to kick his ass for saying that to you."

"Why aren't you?"

"Andie stopped me. She said I should check on you."

A beat of silence. She saw Nik look towards them with a strange expression on his face. Noticed Andie had a similar one, too. Then they were being forced to face Caroline who was still no doubt ripping him a new one. She felt silly and stupid for running away and making her friends deal with something she should be able to handle. The truth of the matter was: she was just so tired of fighting him. Something about the way Andie and Nik had looked at them made her feel compelled to speak the next words. "I really like Andie."

"Me, too."

"I can't believe you're the one with the functional relationship. _You_." She laughed despite herself.

"Elena…"

But he didn't get to finish because the sound of footsteps broke the conversation. They both looked up to see Nik approaching with Caroline, Bonnie, and Andie behind him. Thankfully their full group of friends hadn't joined the parade. Nik had his hands in his pockets and kicked a rock with his foot when he approached her. "Can we talk?" he whispered. His hard eyes focused on Damon sitting beside her, more specifically on their touching knees. "Alone."

Elena nodded and stood up, brushing the dirt off her jeans. Damon stood up a moment later, clenching and unclenching his fists. He stepped between them and said, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

She searched his eyes, finding anger and hostility burning through his irises but a worry and love hidden beneath. He cared about her. There could be no doubting that—especially from the glare Andie was giving them. She went to place her hands on his arms and thought better of it. "No. It's okay. I better."

Maneuvering around him, she fell into step beside Nik and together they walked away from the group, up the gravel track towards the football field. The whole time Elena could feel the heat of stares on her but tried her best to ignore them. She had to focus on what she wanted and whether this dig from Nik would be the last straw.

They took a seat on the cool metal stands and sat in silence for a few moment, neither one of them willing to make the first word. Elena was determined not to speak first. It was his cruelty that had brought them here even though her actions had spawned it. Something he constantly reminded her about. Something he refused to forget even though he had forgiven.

"I shouldn't have said what I did," Nik whispered, not looking at her.

He was staring out at the football field and Elena wondered if he was remembering how he had spent his senior year with a cast on his arm watching his friends play while he was stuck on the sidelines. It always came back to the accident. Always. There was a before and an after. Two sides to both of them. She had gone from strong and confident to quiet and reserved and he had gone from the nice guy to the emotional abuser.

Elena let out a sigh. "No, you shouldn't have."

_There._ Some backbone might still exist inside of her. Somewhere.

Nik grabbed hold of her hands that were out in front of her from where her elbows resting on her knees, her back arched. He squeezed hold of her hand, rubbing his thumb over hers again and again. It prompted her to meet his eyes, dulling brown in the darkness. Somewhere behind those eyes was the guy she had fallen for. The guy who sang along with her out of tune in the car, who recreated moments from her favorite books and movies, who danced with her around the house and went on roadtrips with no destination. He had to be inside there behind the man who sat beside her, the version of him that had hardened.

He gave her a sad smile. "I'm sorry."

And there was just enough truth in it, enough meaning and honesty that pushed the doubts and worries away. Maybe that nice guy she had met once was still capable of being saved. She couldn't give up on him. Not when it was all her fault in the end.

So, instead she leaned forward and kissed him. "It's okay."

She wondered if the girl Damon had met at the party, the one full of sass and wit, would be disappointed in her now. No, it wasn't that bad yet. It wasn't like he was hitting her. Words she could take. Words bounced off. Right?

* * *

_Janurary 2007..._

* * *

"_Life is a highway. I wanna drive it all night long…."_

Elena let out a laugh as Nik's voice cracked as he tried to sing in tune with Rascal Flatts and failed horribly. They were driving along some vacant road with the windows down and the music blasting. She was driving her car and her hair was blowing back with the wind. She was happy. Blissfully so.

They had been doing better since that night of the field hockey game. They were working and trying to salvage their relationship. Together they talked more and he didn't fit in as many digs as he used to. Things were almost normal. Almost back to where they were always supposed to be. Almost.

As they reached a stop light she felt her phone vibrate on her lap and flipped it open to reveal a text message from Damon:

_Can we meet up? Andie and I had another fight._

Biting her lip, Elena looked over at Nik. He was in such a good mood and they were doing so good lately. Could she really break that? She had been so caught up on trying to keep him happy that it had been a few weeks since she had hung out with her friends. A few weeks of being caught up with their lives. Every time they asked her to hang out, Nik would remind her that they were single and she wasn't and he didn't want her putting herself in a compromising position that would hurt him. He would give her a look that nearly broke her heart and she would tell her friends she couldn't. Until Damon's text she hadn't realized that she wasn't even aware that Andie and him had been fighting. Some friend she was.

Knowing that Damon wouldn't have texted her unless it was serious, she decided to risk it anyway. "Damon just texted me. He and Andie had a fight. He wants us to meet up with him."

So, it was a lie. A little one.

He saw the beaming smile drop from his face. "Oh?" he looked out the window. "It's up to you."

"I think we should. He wouldn't have texted me if it wasn't serious."

"Fine." Still, his eyes and attention were out the window.

At the next red light, Elena typed back a response:

_I'm with Nik. Is that okay? Where do you want to meet?_

His response was immediate.

_Fine. High School parking lot._

She texted back a response and headed towards the high school with Nik quiet beside her. They hadn't been that far and when she pulled into the parking lot, Damon's Camaro was already there. Elena pulled up beside him and they were the only two cars in the lot. Once the engine was off she heard the music from his car, depressing music that was very unlike him. Things were really bad.

"Hey," Damon said addressing them both. "Want to hop in?"

Elena turned to her boyfriend to gauge his response but he was already opening the door and walking towards Damon's car. She followed suit and hopped in the front seat with Nik in the back. They sat there in awkward silence as the quiet sounds of the radio filled the car. Different vibes were coming off them both. Quiet anger and curiosity from Nik and sadness from Damon. It was becoming too much.

"What happened?" she broached.

Damon sighed and hit his head against the steering wheel. "We had a fight. She broke up with me a few days ago."

"What?" Elena was in shock. As far as she had known things had been going great. "Andie hadn't said anything in class."

Andie had seemed to be in a great mood throughout the school day. Not at all like the girl in the aftermath of breaking up with a guy she had been pretty serious about. She had been full of smiles and laughter, in quite opposition with the guy sitting beside Elena.

"Things haven't been going good for a while. She said she wanted space and then tonight said it was really over."

They talked about everything that had led up to the breakup then. How she had become more and more hostile towards him and that since he had never been serious with anyone before had instead clung to her. That had been the wrong thing to do. She pulled back even further and cut ties. He refused to say what they argued about. Choosing instead to generalize and that brought out commentaries from Nik about how she might come around and that it could just be a "break" not a "break-up". Neither Elena nor Damon were too hopeful on that front.

What did matter was that the tension she had felt coming off from Nik had seemed to be lifted. And with every word Damon released, his mood seemed to get better. After a few more minutes of unloading, he even switched the station towards something more upbeat and the conversation started taking a more lighthearted turn. Nik and Damon started talking about college and the courses they were taking. She listened but chose to stare out the dashboard window and watch the cars go by.

She saw one driving slower than normal and knew she recognized it. "Damon, isn't that Andie's car?"

Damon snapped his head forward and looked at the car then quickly out of Elena's window where her own car was parked. His eyes were wide as saucers and she caught the panic in his posture. As she took notice of Andie's car speeding away and the nervousness on Damon's face, it suddenly all seemed to click in.

What they had been fighting about was her.

And now Andie had seen her car next to Damon's. She had no idea Nik was in the car, too. That they were in fact consoling Damon because he was distraught over _her_. That they weren't having some affair beyond her back. That the sight in the parking lot wasn't a confirmation she had needed all along.

That it all was a misunderstanding.

* * *

**A/N: I couldn't stay away for too long, could I?**

**I can't promise quick weekly updates like I'm used to because I am going to be pouring more effort and heart and of myself into this story than any I have done before. It's going to get frustrating and I hope you stay with me.**

**Read and review xx**


	3. Chapter 2: Face Down in the Dirt

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Once again thanks so much to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and proofreading and just being plain awesome. Check out her latest story Claiming Hearts and Spaces cause it's nearly as awesome as she is!**

**This one is a doozy! Enjoy!**

* * *

Elena didn't know what to expect when she walked into homeroom the next day. Whatever it was, she hadn't expected this. Stares followed her down the halls, hushed whispers echoed her footsteps; it was as if she was a walking pariah and what made it worse was she still had the whole day left. Walking in, a classroom full of eyes turned on her and flickered over to where Andie sat in the last room. Andie glared at her, her eyes narrow slits. She leaned forward to the group that had surrounded her and muttered harsh untruths.

As Elena walked down the aisle she found it blocked by Andie's leg in an attempt to trip her. With a heavy sigh, she hopped over her leg and took her seat in the front row already wishing the day was over.

The rest of the day went much of the same way. She kept trying to talk to Andie but the hoard of girls surrounding her didn't even let her get close. Caroline and Bonnie both tried to talk to her but Andie was having none of it. She believed what she saw was the truth even though Bonnie and Caroline tried to convince her that Nik was in the car, too. It wasn't until lunch that she had realized just how bad this was all becoming.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket as she found herself a seat out on the quad with Caroline and Bonnie. She opened it to reveal a text from Nik.

_Is something going on between you and Damon?_

Groaning, her head collapsed into her folded arms on the table. She felt hands on her, rubbing her soothingly. It was almost enough to relieve all the frustration out of her, except that she knew nothing would ever be that easy.

"Now she has Nik thinking something's going on," she sighed and lifted her head, pushing back her hair. "How is she doing this? Nothing even happened."

Bonnie chewed her lip. Caroline stared with thoughtful eyes.

"What? Am I missing something?"

It was Bonnie who answered. "Well, why did Damon call you?"

"Because he was upset. He and Andie broke up for good and he needed someone to talk to." Her eyes searched their faces seeing the doubt there. "We're _friends_. That's it. We've always just been friends."

Caroline shifted in her seat, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. "It's just. Why not call Ric or Mason? Why call you?"

"Guys hardly vent to other guys. They can't be vulnerable and believe me, Damon was vulnerable. He was a mess. _He loves Andie_. Nothing else has been going on. I mean, come on, Nik was in the freaking car. What does she think happened?"

The disbelief didn't waiver in their eyes so she stood up saying she had to call Nik and wandered over to a nearby tree. Leaning against it, she dialed Nik's number and he picked up on the first ring.

"I take it there is," he replied, ire coating his words.

She sighed. "Of course not. Please tell me you're not buying into all these rumors. Nik, you were in the car with me. You saw it was all about Andie."

"For all I know he called you so you could celebrate their breakup only I messed up the plans. It could've all been an act."

Her head fell to the side against the tree. "That's ridiculous. This isn't some elaborate affair. Damon and I are friends. We always have been. And I love you. I'm _with_ you."

"For now," he mumbled.

The bell rang in the distance, signaling the end of lunch. She still had three more periods till freedom. With a quick intake of breath, she rushed out reassurances before telling him she had to go. His faith and trust in her were still nonexistent and she wished she could stay on the phone so their conversation didn't end like this, but she didn't have a choice. Her friends were already calling her name, telling her they had to go, and she hung up the phone knowing that things still weren't okay.

They were far from it.

She needed a way to regain some control over her own life. Something that could bring her back to that fun-loving empowered girl she used to be. As she made her way towards her next class she saw a sign-up for Mr. Mystic Falls and a flyer saying they were looking for someone to put the pageant together. She remembered helping her mom with the Miss Mystic Falls pageant they had every year and remembered how much fun it had been. How everyone had looked to her mother for everything and how she ran it all without a bat of a lash. She ripped the flyer free and raced towards the office.

This was just what she needed.

* * *

Damon let his head fall back against his pillow. It had been a long day of work and school and more work. He had just finished typing up a paper due later in the week and was taking a break for studying for a test he had the following day. The past few months he had immersed himself in schoolwork. He couldn't even remember the last time he had a date or a hookup. It just didn't feel right. Andie had come into his life and changed everything and then ripped his heart out over jealousy of his friendship with another girl.

And not just any girl. _Elena_.

It wasn't like that was just a friendship he could cut away easily. Somehow Elena Gilbert had gone from the hot girl who rejected him to the girl he confided everything in. She knew all about the insecurities he had regarding disappointing his father and how a part of him was jealous at the ease his little brother navigated the world. Those were things he had never voiced to anyone, until her. Something about her made him feel free. Free enough to unload nineteen years of pent up crap he had been holding inside.

But it hadn't strayed from friendship. Not once.

If he was being honest with himself, he knew he needed her. That was why he wasn't going to let Andie tell him what their relationship was when it was something he didn't even truly know himself. All he knew was that for once he had been serious about a girl and Elena was the reason why it wasn't so serious anymore. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that.

Damon flipped through the channels trying to find something to take his mind off everything. It had been months since he and Andie broke up. It wasn't like he hopped right into bed with Elena. They hadn't even seen each other since she got all involved planning Mr. Mystic Falls. Something he had proudly won the year before. Andie and Nik's jealousy had brought nothing but pain to the four of them.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to see that Elena was calling. Without even a moment's hesitation he answered. "Hello?"

"Damon?" he heard Caroline scream. "Get to Elena's right now! Nik's gone mental!"

He heard screaming in the background and the sound of someone crying followed by a repetitive loud banging. The whole background seemed to echo. The sounds of the screams and tears and banging had him jumping out of bed quicker than he ever thought he could. He had already reached his stairs by the time he responded.

"What's going on?"

"They were fighting outside and then she ran back into the house and grabbed me! We're in the bathroom but Nik is trying to break it down! Hurry, Damon. Hurry."

He heard Elena sobbing in the background. "Just stop, Nik! Stop!"

It was all he needed to race down the stairs and into his car. He knew it would eventually come to this and he hated himself for not putting an end to it sooner. Elena had always said it wasn't as bad as it looked or that she had it all under control. Deep down he knew it was all bullshit she told herself to make herself feel better for the guilt she felt. Just cause she cheated on him when he was nothing to her didn't mean she deserved to be talked to the way he talked to her. It didn't mean she deserved whatever he was planning on doing to her once he broke down her bathroom door.

Damon had meant what he said all those months ago during the field hockey game. He wanted to kill the bastard. Elena was the beautiful, amazing person that was so full of light and Nik had drained it all from her. Nik made her submissive and a push-over. She did whatever he asked and he alienated her in such a way that only Caroline and Bonnie had her side when the whole school called her a home-wrecker. It made him sick that she stayed.

When he saw her familiar two-story white house with its wrap-around porch appear down the street, he pressed his pedal harder and screeched to a halting stop in front of it. He hopped out of his car, leaving the engine running and found the front door wide open. The sounds of Nik's merciless banging and Caroline and Elena's screams filtered to the outside. He marched in and found the sight of overturned furniture leading all the way to where the bathroom was.

There was Nik banging and kicking and pounding against the white painted bathroom door. There were cracks in the wood from where it had started to give way. If he had arrived any later he wasn't sure what he would have walked in on. It may be Elena's bones that would've suffered this fate.

Without thinking, he grabbed hold of Nik's shirt and pulled him away from the door, putting his body between them. "Are you okay?" he yelled to Elena and Caroline.

"Just get him out of here!" he heard Caroline scream. Elena's words were drowned out by her cries. The sound of Caroline trying to soothe her best friend was evident even through the door. His eyes turned on Nik who was crumpled on the floor, his eyes murderous.

"You heard her," Damon growled. "Get out."

It was taking everything inside him not to launch himself at Nik and pummel him. The fucking arrogance and anger in his eyes was enough to make Damon want to kill him. It was sickening that this asshole had ever been lucky enough to be in the same presence as Elena let alone date the girl for the past year.

"I'm not leaving until she tells me to," Nik responded, standing up and facing the door with intent.

Damon rolled his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. "I think the fact that you're scaring her half to death is response enough. Get out."

"Of course you came to her rescue. Why am I not surprised?"

"Because she trusts me to be able to kick your ass. That's why. And you know I can, Nik. So get the fuck out before I prove it."

Nik laughed. "I'd like to see you try."

Maybe it was the way he said it or the way Elena's sobs carried through the wooden door, but the restraint he held this entire time faltered and he launched at him. They came at each other but Damon managed the upper hand. Not wanting to cause any damage to her house, he dragged Nik out of the house and out on the front lawn. He didn't care if the neighbors were watching. All he wanted was to get this scumbag as far away from Elena as he could.

As soon as Nik's back hit the grass, he punched him hard. He didn't let up with just one. He kept on him until he saw blood. Then he backed up and felt Nik attempt to kick him in the stomach. "Missed me," he grunted, lifting the asshole up on his feet. "Stay the fuck away from Elena or next time I won't be able to stop myself."

He shoved him down the lawn and watched as he stumbled his way to his car. "She's not going to send me away. You and I both know it. She'll come back to me. Always does."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Whatever twisted thing you think you have with her doesn't stop her from crawling back to me. Just remember that."

He disappeared into his car and drove away, spitting blood out the window. Damon didn't dare move until the sound of his tires faded away into nothingness. That was when he finally turned around and walked back towards the house where he found Elena being cradled by Caroline on the couch, sobbing endlessly into her shoulder. Caroline looked up at Damon and mouthed a thank you, looking around at the damage Nik had caused.

Damon took the time to tidy up as best he could. It almost looked like nothing had ever happened save for the dented bathroom door. When he stepped back in front of Caroline, that was the moment Elena finally looked up.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were rimmed with red. Her one tank top strap was torn from where Nik had probably grabbed her. It filled him with anger and disgust. How could she stay with a guy like that?

"Thank you," she managed through a sniffle. She stood up and he embraced her, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and he kept her in the safety of his arms. He knew as long as he was here nothing would ever hurt her again. Never again would he stand idly by as someone hurt her. He would always protect her. Always.

"Of course. He's not coming around here again."

She looked up at him then, searching his face, seeing the cut on his brow where Nik had managed a hit. "You didn't hurt him, did you?"

Damon's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?"

"He didn't mean to come after me like that. I started it."

He grabbed her face. She looked so fragile and lost and weak. Nothing like the vivacious girl he spent a whole party talking to. A party that he'd been throwing. She'd captivated his complete attention then. How could one guy, one asshole, ruin her this much? "I don't care if you started it. No guy comes at a girl like that. No one."

"He was just trying to get me to talk to him. It just got out of hand." She turned away from him, stepped out of his embrace and went for her cell phone. No doubt checking up on the prick.

"Out of hand?" he balked. "Elena, he was probably going to kill you."

She was shaking her head. "No. No, he wouldn't do that."

Damon grabbed hold of her shoulders, shaking her. Caroling stood and tried to pry his hands off her, knowing how shook up she was. He wasn't having any of it. "Elena, snap out of it! Wake up! He's crossed that line you promised me he never would cross. It's not just words, Elena. That wasn't just words."

Elena broke down then, her knees falling weak and collapsing in his arms, relying on him to keep her steady. They fell to the floor together with Caroline kneeling beside them, stroking Elena's hair and crying quietly. Damon held her close, whispering in her ear. "You have to end it, Elena. He's going to kill you. Come back to me. _Please_."

He was losing it and he wasn't sure how he could hold it together any longer. He couldn't stand it. She was slipping away from him and all because of guilt and a feeling like she owed it to this guy. Which, in all honesty, after everything he put her through, she didn't.

"He's never going to let me," she whispered.

The truth. Finally. She was in too deep but he could help her out. He could pull her out from under him.

"Yes, he will. He won't come near you." Damon forced her to look into his eyes, to feel the meaning between them. "I won't let him."

"How? I have all this pageant planning and he's hovering. Always hovering. He won't let me breathe."

"Focus on the pageant," Caroline said. They both turned to look at her and she was bright with fierce determination. "Immerse yourself in it. Slowly pull away. Then once it's over end it for good. In a public place with a quick getaway."

Elena nodded hesitantly. "I think that could work. You'll be there?"

They both nodded. He would always be there for her. Just like Caroline.

"Okay," she responded. And he thought he saw some of that old fire burning behind her eyes.

* * *

"It's over!" Elena screamed as she turned and continued walking down the parking lot.

A group of people had gathered during the fight but Elena didn't even acknowledge it. She didn't want to focus on the scene she was starting at the event she had organized. At first she wanted to wait until later that night to end things between them, but when Nik approached her holding her keys and berating her for once again forgetting them, she lost it. They had been fighting for months and at this point the bad outweighed the good. She had enough of his controlling ways. Tonight was just the proverbial straw breaking the tired and abused camel's back.

This was supposed to be _her_ night.

Months of working and planning had climaxed to tonight's town event and the last thing she needed was a fight between her and Nik. She knew planning the Mr. Mystic Falls pageant had put a strain on their already stressful relationship, but that had been Caroline's plan all along. She had needed to immerse herself in something to get her out of the funk he had put her in. Now she was in a better emotional state and prepared to face their issues head on. Her relationship with Nik had put a rift between her friends, her social life; any highlights that lit her life before him. He had slowly manipulated himself into the focal point in her life to the point where she gave up everything to keep him happy. It wasn't healthy but she was well aware of that now. She had an epiphany of sorts that night he nearly broke her door down and they were in for a world of changes.

Knowing he was already in a sour mood, she took a moment to sneak to his seat during the talent portion and stroke a loving hand through his brown hair. Despite it all she did still love him. That much hadn't changed. But being with him meant giving away pieces of herself. Reaching out for him, she had a moment's hesitation. A moment of hope where she convinced herself that maybe she could make it work. A hope-filled moment where she receded into that girl she was. All that hope went out the window when his hand had touched hers. Instead of accepting her olive branch, he had responded by pushing away her hand and sulking. That was when she knew it was time. She had been putting it off for far too long already, deluding herself into thinking this was all her life was meant for.

That his abusive ways were all on her because of what she had done when she wasn't in love.

"You're just mad," Nik responded as he stepped towards her. He towered above her, his dullish brown eyes boring into hers. If she wasn't careful she would fall into the same trap he sucked her into time and time again. He gestured around them. "This happens every time."

Elena shook her head; her long, chestnut locks fanning out at the movement. "This time I mean it. The fighting has become too much. I don't even know why we're together anymore. Look how you talk to me? That's not how you talk to someone you love."

She took the keys from Nik's hand and walked to her car, tearing open the door and motioning her two friends to get inside. Bonnie and Caroline had been standing near her car when the whole fight had begun. The moment Elena had called for their attention the two of them followed without a word. Once everyone was situated, Elena put her keys into the ignition and started up the engine. Without a backward glance towards Nik, she removed her car from the parking lot, away from his furious eyes.

Her phone chirped almost immediately and she sent a sideways glance at Bonnie who sat beside her. "Don't answer it."

"Don't you think you two should at least talk it out?" Bonnie reasoned.

Bonnie's response hadn't come as a surprise. After all, it was Bonnie who had introduced the now split couple. She had known Nik for a while, maybe even had a little crush on him once upon a time, but from the moment he came across Elena, no other girl stood a chance. Nik had been a breath of fresh air and if it hadn't been for his insecurities they could've really made it work. Bonnie knew all that he had done and said; she'd witnessed it for herself. Still, she held out that hope.

Just like Elena had.

"No. He can't get past things and I'm tired of arguing about the same thing over and over and _over_ again. I want more for myself." Their fights had always been over the same things: her past, her attitude, and _her_ issues. When you were in love with someone weren't you supposed to love them for all their imperfections? Weren't you supposed to _trust_ them? Elena didn't know a single person without a past because people didn't exactly find their soul mate right out the womb. She loved Nik, she really did, but they just weren't healthy for each other anymore.

Caroline chimed in from the backseat, "I think it was really brave of her."

Elena sent a thankful glance through her rear-view mirror just as her phone rang again. Groaning she picked up her blackberry planning to silent the call only to realize it wasn't Nik on the other end.

"Hey, Damon," she sighed into the phone.

Damon; the one constant in her life. A guy who trusted her and defended her and was always there for her. She wasn't sure how or why but the two of them got along. Before they had even officially met, she noticed him. It was hard not to. Damon was outgoing and fun, and hot as hell. He called attention to himself from the moment he walked into a room like some innate power he held within him. Their friendship grew steadily over the years, becoming stronger as she faced difficulty dealing with Nik. He was always there when she needed to vent. It was why it didn't come as a shock that he had called her now.

Somehow he always knew.

There was a noise in the background before Damon spoke. "Stefan and I are at the Grille. We heard about tonight. I'm proud of you. Why not join us and get your mind off it for a little?"

The idea did sound appealing. It would be just what she needed to keep away from the onslaught of texts and phone calls her phone was about to receive. As if to remind her, she heard a beep in her ear signaling a new text message. She questioned her friends and once they'd all agreed she made her way to the Grille.

* * *

**A/N: As always show some love and read and review xx**


	4. Chapter 3: He's The Time Taken Up

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: As always thanks go out to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and beta'ing this story! Do I really have to demand you read her stories again? Because you should be reading Claiming Hearts and Spaces already! xx**

* * *

_May 2007..._

* * *

"Should we get some disco fries? I'm definitely in the mood for some disco fries!"

Damon rolled his eyes. "Then get some fucking disco fries, Stef. Yolo."

"Right! YOLO! I'm getting me some disco fries."

He couldn't help but roll his eyes again at Stefan's inability to understand sarcasm. They were at the Grille killing some time after Mr. Mystic Falls. It had been a great pageant and went off without a hitch. Damon had even made an appearance—per Elena's request—to pass down the crown to the lucky winner. Afterwards, he and his brother didn't loiter around. He couldn't wait to get out of the rented tuxedo and into his own jeans and white tee and leather jacket. As soon as Stefan was ready, they high-tailed it out of there;, stopping only to congratulate Elena on a job well done. He certainly didn't miss the stressed out look on her face or the defeated way she carried herself before he had called out to her.

On a night when she should be beyond ecstatic she was miserable and he hated it. As soon as he saw Nik loitering around the hallways he knew it was in both their interests that he make himself scarce. The two of them had barely said a word to each other or seen one another since the incident at Elena's house. It helped that Nik attended the community college while Damon was a few towns over at the university. The lesser the chance of the two of them running into each other, the better.

Stefan ordered himself some disco fries and Damon got himself a burger with the works. He was thankful his brother had decided to join him instead of hanging out with his friends like he usually would. It was Stefan's pageant after all. But it hadn't been easy seeing Andie there and dealing with the pointed looks he had received from her and her friends. Lord only knew what they were dishing out to Elena since the whole parking lot ordeal. Their breakup had been months ago, but it seemed some things just couldn't be dropped.

"Why are you so uncharacteristically quiet?"

Damon turned his attention to his baby brother. "Just thinking."

"That's dangerous," Stefan replied, eyes going wide as his plate of disco fries approached the table along with Damon's burger. All thoughts of Damon's dangerous thinking forgotten, they dove into their plates and shot the shit about sports and girls and whatnot. Stefan was so focused on school and work that he hadn't been on a date in ages. He needed to loosen up and just when he was trying to think of a way to help him do that, his phone rang with an incoming text.

From Caroline: _Our girl did it! She broke up with the psycho!_

Damon had to stop himself from jumping out of his chair in excitement. He managed a huge smile, a muffled yell, and a celebratory fist to his table that caused Stefan to look up from his plate with cheese and gravy hanging from the side of his mouth.

"What just happened?"

He couldn't help but grin as he replied, "Elena broke-up with Nik."

"And you're fighting back a dance party because….?"

"Because she finally got out from under him. She's not going to let him control her anymore."

Stefan nodded. "If that's what you have to tell yourself."

After giving Stefan a look filled with confusion, he questioned, "What does that mean?"

"It means," Stefan began, wiping his mouth clean with a napkin, "that I think you're excited for yourself. Not just for Elena. Something has always been going on with you two. You may want to say it's just a friendship but I see the way you look at each other. And I remember how you two were at the party."

"That was over a year ago. We're good friends now."

"Friends don't look at each other the way you two do."

"I don't look at her any different."

Stefan gave him a look that said just how much he didn't believe him. "Why did you call Elena after the breakup? Even after knowing it was the reason Andie dumped you."

"Cause she's pretty much the only friend I have that's a girl and that's what I needed then. Ric and Mason would've just gotten me drunk and had me hookup with some random chick. I needed to actually be fucking consoled." His head fell back as he ran his hands through his hair. "Why is everyone using that as grounds that we've been having this huge secret passionate affair?"

He thought back on that night and the days leading up to it. Things had been tense between him and Andie since the night of the field hockey game. Damon had never really focused on the way she had demanded that he go check up on Elena. He had always thought it was just to prevent him from kicking Nik's ass the way he wanted and getting in trouble for it. But there had been something about her tone that he picked up on all these months later that told a different story.

Andie had been jealous and wary of Elena for as long as they had been dating. While he had been trying to get things started between the two of them, he was constantly reassuring her that Elena was nothing more than a friend. Things had mellowed out when they had started dating, but there was always this distance from her. Though now he knew it was something he caused by confiding in Elena things he just couldn't make himself tell Andie. And maybe that's why it had never worked out between them.

The night of the field hockey game had just deepened the rift. Since he had never been in a serious relationship before, when he noticed her pulling away he clung to her a little too desperately and it backfired. She demanded space and threw out comments about how now he could finally go after Elena without the guilt. They kept talking in circles, trying to make it work until that fateful night when she had ended it all.

Damon had been heartbroken and couldn't bear the humiliation of allowing himself to be so vulnerable in front of his boys. Instead he called Elena.

Swallowing a fry, Stefan looked at him steadily. "Because it's just a bit odd that knowing Andie was upset over your relationship with Elena that you would call her." He shrugged, clearly done trying to understand his older brother motives. "It just sucks that Elena has to suffer because of it."

"What do you mean?" Damon didn't remember Elena telling him anything about suffering over his breakup. She had been pretty quiet about any interactions with Andie since she had seen their cars together. She had just kept saying how Andie didn't believe the truth.

"Andie and her friends have been terrorizing her at school. She really only has Caroline and Bonnie since this whole ordeal went down."

The anger was already brewing up inside of him, the happiness from earlier long since dissipated. "That's the last thing she needs after everything Nik has been doing to her."

"I don't think Andie cares. She's convinced that you two have been hooking up this whole time behind her back. Even now she thinks it's going on. Elena just can't get away from it. For a few weeks she was coming in to school with just sweats— no doubt because of all the planning she's been doing—and they just attacked her." He shook his head. "Girls are vicious."

He was staring at the table in disbelief. "Elena never told me any of this."

"She wouldn't."

He sighed, the guilt for ever bringing Andie into this getting to him. "What should I do?"

Stefan cocked his head and lifted his one shoulder to it and said, "Be there for her," like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He pulled out his phone and called her. Her voice filled his ear instantly, a sigh full of relief. "_Hey Damon._"

"Stefan and I are at the Grille. We heard about tonight. I'm proud of you. Why not join us and get your mind off it for a little?"

She was quiet for a long time and he only heard the sound of muffled voices in the background as they all spoke. Finally, her voice came through the line. "_On our way. See you soon._"

"See ya."

He hung up his phone only to see his brother staring at him intently. He thought possibly his face must be alight with happiness? Or maybe his eyes were bright with excitement? There had to be a reason that his brother was looking at him as if all his secrets were exposed on his face. But from what Damon could tell, he'd succeeded at keeping his expression impassive and thankfully, Stefan had stayed quiet and returned to his plate of disco fries. It was a few bites before he said anything. "Just be careful there, Damon. If you're thinking of finally acting on this whole _thing_ between you two just remember she still has a month of high school left."

"She just got out of a serious, emotionally abusive relationship. The last thing she'll want is more drama."

"Notice how you didn't say there wasn't anything going on this time?" Stefan pointed out. "You may be fighting against it but you know there is. All I'm saying is be careful."

* * *

"Are you boys munching on disco fries?" a voice behind Damon squealed in excitement.

He turned around to see Caroline, Elena and Bonnie walking towards them. Bonnie had her arm around Elena who seemed to be trying to reassure the girl. He watched as Elena firmly pressed the button that turned her phone off and let her hand fall with gusto. All three girls were wearing black yoga pants with a red tank top that had a Mr. Mystic Falls contestants name on it. It was what they had worn during the intermission where all the escorts had danced. He had noticed Elena's had the name of the contestant she had escorted going from the top right off her tank all the way to her left hip.

Elena smiled as she approached him and took the open seat beside him; Bonnie placing herself beside her. Caroline had excitedly collapsed next to Stefan and was stealing his gravy covered fries. Stefan only glared. "You don't like the melted cheese?"

Caroline scrunched up her face. "Nope! I'm all about that gravy!"

"And yet she stays a size zero!" Elena exclaimed, gesturing to Caroline's thin waist.

The blonde stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Don't hate! I'd kill for your curves or Bonnie's stature! I tower over boys."

"Not me." Stefan grinned.

A full on blush took force of Caroline's face as she shyly grabbed another gravy covered fry and munched on it. Bonnie and Elena were cracking up and eyeing the two of them with interest. It was Elena who broke the silence and questioned, "What are we doing tonight?"

Damon eyed her with an arched brow. "You mean besides paying homage to the one and only gathering hole in Mystic Falls?"

"Exactly! We do this all the time. I need to get out and _do_ something new."

"We could always go to the Falls," Bonnie offered. "Talk and relax."

Elena shook her head. "I'm through _talking_."

"Damon has a stickball bat in the car. We could play a little." Stefan added.

"That sounds like fun!" Elena said.

"You play stickball?" Damon questioned, curious.

Elena nodded. "Uh yeah! Stickball is pretty much softball and my rec team went undefeated three years in a row; thank you very much."

Bonnie, Caroline and Stefan started arguing over positions when Damon touched Elena's arm. She jolted and turned to him, a smile alighting her face. It was a smile he hadn't seen in a long time. Though he was happy to see it, her whole behavior just seemed off. "Are you okay?"

She groaned. "If someone asks me that one more time…"

"Sorry," Damon began, not sure what he was apologizing for. "It's just you definitely don't seem like a girl who broke up with her boyfriend tonight. You seem like a woman on a mission."

"That's because you've never seen me post-breakup. I get determined."

He stared at her. Even though her body language was telling him that she hated everything about this conversation, she seemed happy. Could he really shatter that by trying to get to the bottom of it? "It's just a little weird. Your phone is clearly off cause I know it would be going off non-stop. You're not engaging and I'm proud of you. I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."

Her hand reached out to grip his arm. "I'm fine. I promise. I just don't want to think about it. I'm being strong right now. I can't see what he's saying because I might cave. And I want my mind off it because then I might start talking myself back into an abusive relationship like I always do. I'm focusing on the now. And right now I want to have some fun!"

"That's my girl!" Caroline squealed, blowing Elena a kiss across the table.

Elena blew a kiss back and mouthed "love you" to her best friend. Bonnie gave a reassuring smile before she jumped at the feeling of her phone vibrating. She looked down and frowned. "Ten guesses who. Though I bet you won't even need one."

"Just don't engage, please," Elena pleaded. She addressed them all. "For one night can everyone just not text him or call him back."

They all nodded in agreement. It wasn't like Damon or Stefan were particularly close to the guy and Bonnie and Caroline were Elena's friends first. Conversation turned away from Nik and their breakup as everyone offered up topics to keep Elena's mind off it. As soon as they finished eating they were headed up to the Falls but for now, they just focused on each other and the music coming out of the jukebox.

The waitress came by with the check and Elena leaned over to Damon. "I think Caroline has a crush on your brother."

Damon stealthily looked over at the two who were animatedly talking about Caroline's dancing studio with Bonnie interjecting every now and again since she attended too. He noticed the way his brothers' arm had somehow wound up on the back of Caroline chair and that the blondes' body was turned towards him. They were both smiling at each other and even as Bonnie talked, were stealing glances when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"I think my brother does, too."

"We have to hook them up," she whispered.

Damon gave her a disgusted look. "I am so not helping my baby bro get some. That crosses so many boundaries." He gestured at them from under the table. "Plus, they seem perfectly fine on their own."

Elena shook her head. "You clearly don't remember that Caroline is shy as hell when it comes to guys. Do you not remember that I only came to your party cause Caroline was into you? You saw how well that worked out."

He gave her a long look. Deep down he was thinking to himself: _It really did work out. It brought me you_. But that was a foolish thing to think about a girl you considered your best friend on the same night she broke up with her boyfriend of a year. Instead he just nodded when she saw him looking at him with questions in her eyes.

"So is it a deal then? You'll help me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I will. But I refuse to have 'girl talk' with him." He was just earlier wondering how to loosen Stefan up and maybe Caroline could be the way to do it.

"You just have to talk Caroline up and kind of help me push them together." She laughed. "Guess we'll have to go on like double-dates so they get forced into a twosome."

"Double dates?" his eyes widened.

She shook her head, smiling. "Not for real."

Yet he found himself wishing it was. _Stupid._

"Hello? Earth to Damon and Elena? Care to pop the bubble and join us?" Bonnie laughed.

"Sorry!" Elena said, laughing. "We ready to pay the check and get the hell out of here?"

They all nodded.

"To the Falls!" Elena lifted her arm into the air.

Glancing at her, Damon realized that an outsider would never know she had just been emotionally abused for the past year. They would think she was just another girl having fun. They would see the same carefree girl he had spent a whole party talking to. But there had to be some repercussions for everything she'd been through. Damon just had to wait for them to surface and then he would do as Stefan said and be there for her.

* * *

"Who sings this again?"

They were all at Elena's house hanging out and watching music videos on the TV. It was their usual crew of Elena, Bonnie, Caroline, Stefan, and Damon with the added bonus of Mason and Ric. When the song came on Elena had instantly been mesmerized. For some reason this song spoke to her and completely took her attention. The boys of course hated every moment of the pop/country song—thought they kept commenting how hot the singer was and that the "dude" in it was Chris Keller from _One Tree Hill_.

"Shush!" Elena quieted. "I want to hear the next verse."

_So I drive home alone.  
As I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down  
And maybe get some sleep tonight._

_'Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_  
_The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart_  
_He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_  
_He's the time taken up, but there's never enough_  
_And he's all that I need to fall into._

She looked up as the song faded out and turned towards Stefan who had asked the question. "Taylor Swift. It's her first single."

"That was pretty good," Damon replied in wonder. That erupted a chorus of laughter from the group. He immediately had that unflinching confidence that only he could. "What? Don't hate my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift. It's going to make all the girls fall in love with me."

"Oh, yeah, Damon," Bonnie drawled. "We're swooning in our boots."

It had only been two days since Elena and Nik had ended things. Elena couldn't be more thankful for her group of friends if she tried. They had truly stepped up and occupied her time and mind by constantly being there. Bonnie and Caroline (and even Stefan) stuck by her side in school and Damon made sure she had plans every night and had even included his own friends in the mix.

It wasn't that she regretted her decision. The morning after the breakup, she had woken up with the reality of what she had actually done and she was truly proud of herself. Their relationship wasn't healthy and if things had kept going they would have only escalated. She owed so much to Bonnie and Caroline for being there that day when Nik had truly scared her. The image of him chasing after her and her being honestly frightened of him would forever be scared into her memory. When the bathroom door had started to crack under his punches she knew they needed help. That was why she had asked Caroline to call Damon.

She looked towards him now, leaning back on her sofa exuding confidence as he praised the song they had just listened to. He was always there for her and she may be quoting _Titanic_ but he had saved her in every way a person could be saved. Damon had pushed her just hard enough that night to instilled a will to survive in her; a will to fight back and get her life back. And she had. School was still Hell but it was starting to ease up. She had a social life and friends, not being kept away like some princess in a tower. Elena was taking control of her again and it felt amazing.

Just then a knock sounded at her door and with a shake of her head at Damon's antics, she went to open it. The moment the door opened, Nik pushed himself inside, arms raised to grab her. All of it halted when out of the corner of his eyes he must have caught sight of Damon, Stefan, Ric, and Mason standing with their fists clenched at their sides.

All of their eyes were focused on him and he truly seemed caught off guard. What exactly had he planned on doing when he grabbed her? Forcing her back up into the tower she had just fought herself free of? With the backup she now had in her friends, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, coolly. "Can I help you, Nik?"

She was amazed at her own backbone, something she had once thought was long gone. Sure, she had fought with him but never anything like this. Never fighting with him for herself. Her head followed Nik's eyes as they looked over and focused on Damon. She caught the quick swell of pride in his face before he covered it with a look of pure hatred.

"What are you doing here, Nik?"

"I came to talk to Elena. Just didn't expect her to move on so quickly." He stared hard at Damon who refused to back down. Damon had beaten him up once before and there was no way if things escalated that this time would go by any difference. Elena had to do everything to prevent that from happening. She couldn't expect Damon to constantly defend her when she should be doing it herself.

She had to bring the attention back to herself. "We're hanging out." Not that she owed him that much.

"Whatever, Elena. I knew this would happen."

"Is there any actual reason you're here?" Caroline stated incredulously.

"Actually," he began, "there is. I want my varsity jacket back."

"Of course," she replied, turning and walking towards the hall closet where his jacket rested on a hook. He had given it to her during her first cheerleading game when she had been absolutely frozen with cold. She had kept it ever since. Without preamble, she handed him the jacket and watched as he took it. It was the only thing of his that she had. He would have no more excuses to drop by. A sense of finality took over her.

Bonnie cleared her throat. "Will there by anything else, Nik?" And there was something about her friends eyes that made even Elena quiver with fear.

"No. I suppose not." Nik gave one last sweep of the room before backing out of the doorway. He lingered there as Elena closed the door and brought the lock home. Something about his gaze as he watched her unnerved her. Maybe it wouldn't be so final after all.

He finally disappeared and Elena turned her back to him and collapsed against the door, sliding down to the floor. Caroline and Bonnie were at her side immediately. They sent one quick glace out the door before joining her on the floor.

"I had no idea he was that… _serious_," Bonnie stated. She must have felt the same unnerving feeling Elena had. "I'm so sorry I questioned it, Elena. He's just changed so much."

"A lot of that has to do with me and what I've done."

"That doesn't mean you deserve it, Elena."

She looked up at Bonnie, who had finally seen the side of Nik so many of them had already. Words only conveyed so much but now she saw the side of Nik that flared up in Elena's presence. A dark side that she wished upon no one.

"It's like he's obsessed with being the only one who can have you even though he despises you," Caroline seethed.

Elena's head fell into her hands as her knees bent towards her body. "What if he does that when no one is home? What am I supposed to do?"

"Maybe it's time to get a restraining order," Bonnie offered.

She shook her head. "It's just a piece of paper. That won't stop him. He came to get his jacket and he's called a few hundred times trying to reconcile. Nik hasn't really done anything yet."

"Are we supposed to wait until he does?" Damon exclaimed. The anger was clear in his voice.

"Can we just wait it out? I don't want to do anything yet." She looked up at Damon, pleading. "Let's try to salvage this night. We were having fun till all _this_ happened."

Everyone seemed to look towards Damon for confirmation. She had no idea why, but somehow he had become the voice of her consoling squad. Only it wasn't Damon who responded, but Ric.

"Hell yeah we can salvage this night! They're replaying that Taylor Swift song on MTV!"

She wasn't sure if it was Ric's excitement or her desire to salvage the night, but Damon's face broke into a smile and he yelled, "This is my jam!" She exhaled in relief as the group settled back into their original discussions, forgetting what had transpired. But there was something about Damon's eyes and the way he kept watching her that told her he wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon.


	5. Chapter 4: Lie Down With Me

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: In case you don't follow me on twitter, I wanted to let you know that I tweaked the summary a bit and added in dates in the previous chapters to help with the timeline. I'll continue to do this throughout the story for now on.**

**The news of Nina's departure from the show made this chapter very difficult to write since it's Elena being happy and carefree since all of the bad. I finally got it out and even though it's not how I wanted it originally I think you'll be happy with the way it turned out.**

**Thank you once again to Morgan (morvamp) for helping me with this chapter and reading it several times to make sure it was just right. She deserves a tackle hug and for you to read her stories… Especially Claiming Hearts and Spaces ;)**

* * *

"Come on, Care! Hit a homer!"

Elena was lunging side to side, preparing to steal for third as Caroline maneuvered the stick over her shoulder and prepared to swing. Damon looked over his shoulder from the spot on the makeshift pitcher's mound and gave her what he must have thought was a menacing glare. With a laugh, Elena stuck her tongue out and sashayed her hips. He rolled his eyes and turned forward towards Caroline, letting the tennis ball fly towards her. Elena watched as Caroline made contact with the ball and sent it flying over all their heads.

With no hesitation and not even a glance to where the ball ended up once it was over her, she raced towards third and home. The thrill of childhood washed over her. Her life had become too consumed with drama that she needed that carefree feeling to encompass her again. Even at the age of seventeen, her parents often remarked at her ability to hold on to her inner child and she wasn't about to lose that over some guy. Damon begun yelling at Stefan to find the ball and get it to him so that he could tag them both out. As soon as her foot hit home, Elena turned towards the game and watched as Caroline touched second and was already intent on hitting third.

"Bring it on home, Care! Come on! Stefan doesn't even have the ball yet! He lost it in the shrubs!"

Caroline's arms shot up in a wave as she raced home, even stopping to slow down to give the boys time. She hopped over and over the base before finally jumping on it repeatedly as Stefan finally grabbed hold of the ball and threw it towards Damon. The girls let out excited screams as the boys grumbled. They mockingly jumped and slammed their chests together and erupted into bubbly giggles.

It had been her idea to play stickball and make the game boys versus girls. She had wanted to totally lose herself tonight. Today was what would've been her and Nik's one year and one month anniversary and she was having a bad day. Elena was never the girl to celebrate the month to month anniversaries, choosing instead to go all out for the major ones; six months, one year, etc. Today stuck out to her, though. Mainly, because she had even forgotten what it was. She had woken up to text from Nik saying "_Happy Un-Anniversary!_" and had been in a mopey mood all through school. It had only been three days since the breakup but a part of her truly wondered if Nik would ever really let her go.

That's why she needed to do something to occupy her mind and the girls kicking the boys butt's at stickball had done just that. She and Caroline had just started an obnoxious victory dance and Damon and Stefan were taking the loss with anything but grace. "Alright. Alright," Stefan groaned. "We get it."

"Is there a mercy rule in stickball?" Caroline questioned, an arrogant smile lighting up her face.

Elena chimed in. "Yeah, is there? Or do you want us to continue this shutout?"

"Let's just get you girls your ice cream and head to the Falls." Damon rolled his eyes, gathering up the stick and tennis balls. The deal had been the loser bought the ice cream that night. It only _sweetened_ the win that the whole ice cream bet had been Damon's to begin with.

Running up to Damon and locking her arm around his neck, Elena whispered, "Aw, Damon. Don't be a sore loser."

"I can still kick your ass at Call of Duty," he mumbled.

"Only because I never played before," she jested.

Damon pushed her lightly aside with a pout just as they reached his Camaro. Stefan and Caroline had already climbed into the backseat, deep in their own conversation. She could hear bits and pieces of it as she slid into the front seat and had to fight back a smile. They were talking about the game and Caroline was praising Stefan on some of the plays he had made, boosting his ego. It had only been day two of _Operation: Get Steroline Together_ and so far it was going smoothly.

Both Damon and Elena were trying to subtly push the two of them into situations where they could get to know each other better but neither seemed to be making the next move. Even though they were talking and flirting, neither Caroline nor Stefan had even _touched_ each other. Something had to be done about that.

The conversation flowed from gentle ribbing to easy conversation as Damon stopped to get ice cream before heading to the Falls. As they drove up near an embankment, Elena was once again swept up by its beauty. She had been visiting this place since she was a baby and every time she was mesmerized by the eerie haze of mist and the clear, flowing water that dropped into the river below. The grass was freshly cut and green for as far as the eye could see. Bright springtime flowers of blue and purple and yellow popped up here and there as the foursome made their way to a spot near the water.

Elena spread out a large plaid blanket that Damon had in his trunk and they all took a seat. Boy, girl, boy, girl; quite the cozy arrangement. They each enjoyed their ice cream, Elena spooning mouthfuls of Mint Chocolate Chip into her mouth from her small cup and watching as Damon did the same with his cookie dough. Caroline had a cone of strawberry that she was swirling her tongue around, unaware that Stefan was licking his own chocolate cone dumbly, completely amazed at the movement of her tongue.

Hitting her shoulder against Damon's arm and stealing a spoon of cookie dough, Elena nodded her head in their direction. He simply shook his head with a smile, leaning over to her and whispering, "Neither one of them will make a move. We might have to help them out."

She brought her mouth to his ear. "How are we going to do that?"

Damon cleared his throat as he eased back away from her. "I have an idea for a game."

"Oh no," Stefan began, shaking his head. "Not this again."

"Not what again?" Caroline questioned, confused.

Elena was right there with her. She had no idea what Damon was up to or how any game of his could help propel Caroline or Stefan to make a move. There was excitement in his eyes as he took one last spoonful of ice cream and after putting it down began to rub his hands together. Caroline seemed to be getting anxious, shifting around as she waited for him to explain. They all waited, it was only Stefan who seemed to know even just an inkling of what was going on.

"Steffy, here, is worried because I made a game up that ended with his hero hair covered in bubble gum."

Stefan crossed his arms. "I was stuck with a buzz cut for a year!"

"It grew back!" Damon shrugged.

It took everything inside of Elena not to laugh at the image of Stefan with a buzz cut or a head full of bubble gum. The image was just too good and a little giggle slipped out. It was nothing compared to Caroline's burst of laughter that caused Stefan to flick his head towards her. The apologies were in Caroline's wide eyes and all of this was getting horribly off track. Wanting to bring the attention back to the matter at hand, Elena asked, "So what game have you come up with now?"

There was a mischievous glint to Damon's eyes as he said, "A little Monkey See, Monkey Do."

"So like a copycat game?" Caroline questioned, tension alleviating from her shoulders.

"With perks." His eyebrows waggled. There was something incredibly sexy and flirty about it and Elena's heart did a little flip in her chest. It didn't help that the way he said _perks_ was practically dripping with sexual innuendo. What did it all mean?

Elena's own brows furrowed. "Who exactly is getting the perks?"

"Depends how you look at it." He winked and it sent a shiver through her. "We'll play in teams. Stefan and Caroline versus Elena and me."

"Okay," Caroline dragged out the word. "So everything you do, we have to copy and vice versa?"

Damon shook his head, tsk'ing. "That's the catch. You just copy us. Everything I do to Elena, Stefan has to do to you."

"I don't know," Stefan stated, wary of his brother's games. They had many years of games and torment behind them. If Stefan was nervous, maybe this wouldn't be such a good way to go about this after all. Especially since Elena wasn't even sure what Damon had in mind. This was going to involve her and she hoped it didn't all become some big mess that would backfire in their faces. They had to be careful where Caroline and Stefan were concerned.

"Just trust me," Damon pleaded. He bumped Elena's elbow with his own, giving her a look.

She knew immediately what to do. He needed her to support this crazy game. Despite not having a clue as to what he was going to make her do, she might as well go along with it. "Come on. It could be fun!" Damon had been the one who seemed the least into this whole operation of hers so the fact that he had come up with something and seemed excited about it could only mean it had to work. She trusted Damon; inexplicably. He had been on her side through this whole mess with Nik. He wouldn't steer her wrong.

"Yeah," Caroline agreed, jumping aboard at Elena's feigned excitement. "What harm could it do?"

"A lot," Stefan stressed. He released a sigh and crossed his arms. Taking a quick glance at Caroline's glee, he sighed, "I'm clearly outnumbered so why the hell not."

"Yay!" Caroline squealed, oblivious to the real purpose behind this game. Elena wondered if her best friend would be _this_ pro-game if she knew exactly what Damon and Elena were up to. More specifically, Damon.

With a quick rubbing of his hands in gleeful excitement, Damon turned towards Elena and lifted her hand and brought his lips down, pressing them against the softness of her skin. As his mouth touched her skin, his eyes swept up to meet hers and held there. A flicker of something in her belly made it hard to breathe but that could've just been because of the weight of his gaze on her. The power of his blue eyes made her feel breathless.

She began to understand Damon's player past a little better after being on the receiving end of one of those gazes.

And in a few seconds it was all over and he was pulling back, breaking the spell. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and cast a glance at Caroline who was staring at her oddly. "Your turn," Elena stated, her voice sounding rough even to her own ears.

Stefan rolled his shoulders as if stepping into a boxing ring and grabbed hold of Caroline's hand. She jumped at the contact and turned her eyes off of her friends and towards the man besides her. The gaze followed up from their touching hands to his green eyes. Their eyes met and held as he brought his mouth down to her hand and kissed it. Caroline released a breath, smiling, and, suddenly, Elena felt as if she were intruding on a private moment.

Had that been the reason for Caroline's odd look? Had she felt the same thing watching Damon and her?

When Stefan pulled back, the two of them stared at each other as if committing the moment to memory; the first touch. There wasn't a doubt in Elena's mind that Caroline was thinking up all kinds of superlatives to describe this moment along with several descriptions of the color of his eyes. She would no doubt hear them all later.

"Now this," Damon said, surprising Elena with a quick kiss to her cheek.

It began and ended in the blink of an eye and the pressure of his lips on her cheek lingered long after they were gone. She turned towards him and wondered just how far he was willing to take this. Chaste kisses on the hand or cheek were something friends could do innocently enough. They could play it all off as some game later on. Though the way it was making her feel was anything but innocent. Elena was feeling things she hadn't in a really long time. But it was too soon after her breakup. Too soon after everything she had been through to even be entertaining the idea of another guy in her life.

It had only been three days of single life after a year of feeling suffocated by a relationship.

Yet as she followed Damon's eyes as he watched Stefan kiss Caroline's cheek and a telltale blush color her face, she wondered if maybe she was the one that was making this more than it was. It could very well be strictly a way of getting Caroline and Stefan together. It seemed to be where his attention was, after all.

As Caroline and Stefan gave one another googly eyes, Damon leaned over to her. "I'm not going to kiss your lips. I'm going to make it look like it but I promise I won't."

Elena nodded and they both turned away just as Caroline and Stefan broke apart from their staring. This was all so incredibly awkward and the fact that this was all happening completely sober and between brothers and friends was unsettling. They weren't naïve sophomores playing truth or dare. They were seniors in high school and a freshman in college. These kind of games were a little beneath them. Yet, the speed and security Damon navigated the game had her trusting him and relying on him to steer away her awkwardness. Caroline and Stefan weren't rejecting the game and this was all for them. So, who was she to ruin it?

In a blur, Damon had her on her back as he blocked her face from view with his. He smirked down at her and pressed his lips down to the corner of her mouth. Elena could only stare, wide-eyed as he kissed her without really doing so. She held still, terrified that the slightest movement would bring his mouth to hers and not knowing if she was truly ready for that.

When he pulled back, she made a show of rubbing her lips to get the desired redness and was met with Stefan and Caroline's shocked faces. "What are you staring at?" she questioned, a very Damon-like arch to her brow. "Get on with it."

Stefan turned to Caroline, bringing her shocked face off of Elena and towards him. With all the kindness inside him, he muttered, "Is this okay? We can stop if you want."

Caroline studied him for a moment, her head tilting and a smile lifting the corners of her mouth. Elena could practically see her best friend fighting the swoon and quickly losing. Instead of just going along with his brother's game, Stefan had asked permission. He wanted to make sure he wasn't going anything she didn't want to. But Caroline very much wanted to and his chivalry and respect only made her want it more. "We don't have to stop."

As his eyes went wide, a smile formed on Stefan's face. This may not have been how neither wanted this to happen; from a game and with an audience, but that didn't mean they weren't excited it was. His kind eyes focused on her as he cupped one hand to her cheek and the other fixed itself on her back. Slowly, unlike Damon, he eased her down onto her back and Caroline's blonde hair fanned out like a halo around her on the ground. Gently, Stefan eased down, stopping only to run his finger along her bottom lip before pressing his lips to hers.

Elena was doing everything in her power to keep her excitement muted. She was wearing a huge smile for her friend and shaking with happiness. Damon had grabbed her shoulders and was shaking her softly with them, shocked himself that this had even worked.

All thoughts of worrying about how far Damon would take this went out the window as she watched Stefan help Caroline back up to a sitting position and she saw the look on her best friends face. The happiness that radiated from her doubled that of her excitement over being crowned Miss Mystic Falls or getting into college or her first kiss from Tyler Lockwood in middle school. This was pure happiness, and Elena had been a part of it.

The two of them seemed lost in their own world, looking at one another and refusing to turn away. Much as they had when Stefan had taken hold of her hand, Caroline seemed unable or unwilling to end the moment. Their faces were still close together and they seemed to be sharing quiet whispers that brought out a blush from Caroline and a beaming smile from Stefan. Damon and Elena eased back from them and moved towards the edge of the blanket, leaning on their hands and giving them an uninterrupted moment. This had been what the whole game had been about. Despite her own doubts, and there had been some, Damon's game had done it. The awkwardness was gone and they seemed genuinely into each other and on the right track. There would be no more need to force them together when they seemed perfectly content in their own little bubble.

Fighting back a first bump and a tackle hug, Elena turned towards Damon who was staring down at her with a happiness all his own. The two of them had done a good deed tonight and brought two people who were too scared to make the first move together. The game, although awkward, had turned out to be a good thing and now their work was done. Elena started to open her mouth and say something congratulatory to Damon before explaining to the two little lovebirds that this had been their end-goal all along.

Except the words fell short when she noticed that Damon was staring at her. The happiness radiating from him had dropped, shifting into something fierce and hungry. It was clawing in his eyes as they flicked to her opened lips. She slammed them shut and swallowed, feeling her heartbeat starting to pound in her ears.

Damon had looked at her before, but never this way. It was startling yes, but also oddly exhilarating.

She blinked, unable to place the feeling inside of her when suddenly Damon grabbed her again and pushed her to lie on her back. After a moment's hesitation where he looked into her eyes with a gaze that nearly melted her bones, he brought his lips down. This time they didn't go for her cheek or the corner of her lip. They aimed right for her own and at the spark and sensation that filled her, she forgot about their audience and she found herself opening up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

She _melted_ into him. There was no other way to describe how her body began to arch up into him trying to get as close as physically possible. Or the way he weighted down on her, trying to push his body into hers and mold their bodies as one. And yet, all they were doing was kissing, his mouth hard and firm against hers and her tongue massaging against his, desperate and needy.

The rest of the world disappeared and everything she felt, tasted and inhaled was Damon. She heard his groans as her hands that were wrapped around his neck grazed along his back, nails digging into his shirt, scratching his skin. She tasted the cold cookie dough and vanilla cream on his lips; a strict contrast to the indescribable burning igniting between them. He smelled of sweat and woods and leather. Something tickled the back of her mind, something important. But there was no way she had the strength to grasp it. Not when she was consumed by this man and the feelings he was bringing out in her.

The sound of throat clearing caused them to spring apart. They were both breathless and panting. Damon had been like oxygen in that little piece of eternity and now she was desperate for more. The cruel intake of fresh air seemed tainted in comparison. The loss of his body, touch, mouth from her was like a loss of limb. It was like anything she had ever felt and she wanted, need more.

Then the reality of where they were and who they were with snapped back her focus. She couldn't lose herself in another guy so quickly. It was just a kiss. An unexpected, amazing, wonderful kiss.

If she was going to survive this, and she needed to, she had to be smart about it. She sat up slowly, her head still dizzy from his kiss, and wiped at her lips. The taste and feel of him still lingered like a ghost and she could feel the blush heating her skin. She didn't chance a look at him for fear he would be able to read all her thoughts with one glance. Instead she drew in a quick breath and looked toward Caroline and Stefan who wore twinning faces of shock.

"So," Elena began, facing stonily towards Caroline. "You're turn?"

She felt Damon stiffen beside her, could still feel the heat of him burning her. "Their turn?"

Turning towards him, she felt the intensity of those eyes again, lulling her in and making her inch towards him. _No_. She couldn't fall for those blue eyes again. Couldn't let them make her foolish. She had just become free. What had just happened between them was what everyone had already accused her of. In one act she had made it truth.

"Aren't we still playing?"

The hurt flashed across Damon's face, it registered to her like an arrow to her own heart. But what did he have to be hurt about? They had just got caught up in the game. Leftover chemistry from years before finally taking hold of them and making them throw caution to the wind. That was all, wasn't it?

But before she could question him about it more Caroline said, "There is no way we could recreate that!"

* * *

Elena lay down in her bed staring up at her ceiling and replaying the whole night over and over. How she had ended up kissing Damon still didn't make any sense. Neither did the look of pain that crossed his face when she had played the whole thing off as part of the game.

After Caroline's comment, the game had ended. However Elena had wondered if maybe it had been finished before Damon had kissed her. Something about his face told a deeper story and yet neither of them had brought it up. Instead the night was spent discussing other things before they all headed home. She couldn't even have a moment alone with Damon because she had to be dropped off first due to where her house was and Stefan and Damon were headed to the same place.

No doubt the moment Caroline had been dropped off, Elena's phone had rung. The two of them talked about Stefan; and Caroline gave her all kinds of descriptions about what that kiss had felt like. Elena explained the plan her and Damon had concocted at the diner days before and after Caroline freaked, she began to thank her profusely. When Caroline's phone had chimed with an incoming call, the blonde rushed Elena off claiming that it was Stefan. With promises to talk to her tomorrow, Elena hung up and let her friend live in her moment.

After hanging up, she couldn't help but be disappointed to see no messages or missed calls from Damon. Then she would start to question why she cared so much that there wasn't.

And that's how it had been the past few hours; with her staring wonderingly at her white ceiling questioning the whole night. Until, finally, her phone rang with a new text message. From Damon.

_Was it really just part of the game for you?_

She thought back on the kiss, her heart racing and her body thrumming with energy. Her reaction to Damon's mouth on hers should have been answer enough. Elena had been the one to deepen the kiss, to need him closer. Could she really be stupid enough to put all of that as show for Caroline and Stefan? She would be lying to herself if she thought that what had transpired between her and Damon all came down to that. It was more. Unexpected, but more.

_No._

Elena clutched her phone to her heart, waiting for his reply. The truth was there and she was nervous for his response. In a few moments, she got it.

_I've wanted to do that for forever._

A smile brightened her face, fighting back the nerves. Not enough to completely quell them but just enough to let her be happy for a moment. To let herself breathe and not be so filled with anxiety over what _could_ happen and instead focus on what _was_ happening. Still, she needed to make sure he knew.

_I can't do a relationship, Damon. I'm not ready._

His response was quick.

_Neither can I. We can just have fun._

Elena stared at the text message, reading it over and over. Could she really do that? Be friends with benefits with Damon of all people. The one kiss they shared had been full of so much passion and so much… _more_. One touch of his mouth on hers threatened to break her, what would days, weeks, and months of them do? And yet, she knew this was what she needed for now. She wasn't certain what she felt for Damon other than there was something there. Something that was new and wonderful and beginning. Could she really turn away from that? Be just friends with him knowing what his mouth tasted like?

Neither of them may be ready for a relationship, but she could handle this. She could be friends with him while exploring this thing between them. It would allow her to rediscover herself without being tied down. To grow in her own light. This was the only way to have the best of both worlds.

_We'll just have fun_, she replied.

He replied with a wink and a promise of tomorrow. Elena plugged in her phone to charge and crawled under her covers, hoping that this all wouldn't blow up in her face. They still had things to discuss and boundaries to create, but with his promise of tomorrow playing in her mind, she knew for once she would have happy dreams.

And it was true. For the first night in what seemed like forever, her dreams were nightmare free. Maybe this would be the start of something wonderful.


	6. Chapter 5:Use Your Hands & My Spare Time

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thank you once again to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and fixing up this chapter. She also picked the chapter title cause she's pretty much (aka a whole lot of) awesome! She wanted a little Delena alone time and I kind of delivered! Hopefully you're keeping up with her Claiming Hearts and Spaces updates otherwise, boy, are you missing out!**

* * *

What had Einstein said? _When you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results__,__ its insanity. _Elena wondered if that implied to overthinking because at the moment she couldn't stop wondering about what would happen when she saw Damon for the first time since they had kissed. They weren't alone by any account, Caroline was beside her in the passenger seat of Elena's Ford Escape as she traveled the quickest route to the Falls and Stefan was due to meet up with them following his baseball practice. Still, the idea that he would brush it all off or that the night before had been a dream was driving her crazy. Literally.

Her mind kept imagining different scenarios of what would happen instead of just focusing on the road and getting there to find out herself. Caroline was being her usual self and prattling on about her and Stefan's phone conversation and how he had admitted that he had liked her for a long time. She was doing her best to listen, but her mind was back on the night before and Damon's text.

_I've wanted to do that for forever._

Exactly how long was forever? Exactly how long had he wanted to do that? And what had made him do it in front of his brother and her friend during a crazy immature game? Had that been the reason he was suddenly all about hooking his own brother up? Had that been his endgame?

"Earth to Elena!"

Elena snapped out of her insanity and turned towards her friend. "What?"

Caroline gestured to the road ahead of them. "You missed the turn."

Looking around, she realized she had done just that. Finding her way to the Falls had practically been ingrained in her DNA. She must have really been deep within her own thoughts to have missed the turn she had made over 100 times in her life. "Sorry. I must have been so caught up in all the sweet things Stefan said to you."

Her friend scoffed. "Please. You haven't been listening since you picked me up."

"Yes, I have." _Maybe not all of it_, she added in her head. She pulled over to the side of the road. "Stefan said he liked you, too. That's amazing, Care."

With narrowed eyes, Caroline said, "Then when is our first date?"

Elena's eyes widened and she bit her bottom lip in thought. "Uh…. Tomorrow?"

"Lucky guess," Caroline beamed, trying her best to hide it behind a scowl. She was failing terribly. The excitement over her upcoming date with Stefan was enough to push back the slight anger over Elena's failure to listen. Her best friend was trying her best to look pissed; crossed arms and looking out the window, but she was failing with the huge smile gracing her face. Thankfully Elena knew just how to open her up.

"So," she began, "who asked who?"

Caroline's head whipped in Elena's direction, reaching out and grabbing the arm that was resting on the middle compartment. She squeezed hard when she stated, "He did," in between a growing smile.

"I could've guess that," Elena answered, finally doing a k-turn and making her way back to the turn she had missed.

"Really?" Caroline questioned, excitedly.

With a nod, Elena elaborated. "I saw it from the moment you walked into the Grille. He couldn't keep his eyes off you. He just needed a little push."

"Yeah," Caroline chewed her lip, "about that."

"About what?" They were nearing the Falls and Elena eased up on her speeding, driving down the road in nearly a slow lurch.

"Damon Salvatore totally kissed you last night."

Elena nodded, trying to keep her face neutral; not showing an inch of excitement. "Yeah, he did."

"And any feelings about that?"

She shrugged. _Keep calm. Don't freak out. Caroline can read you like a book_. "Not really."

"Is that so?" Caroline questioned, doubt coating her voice.

"Yep." _Eyes straight on the road_. The clearing for the Falls was within sight. Elena just had to get there. And yet she found herself not pressing any harder on the gas. Maybe she really just wanted someone to talk to.

Caroline shook her head, releasing her hold on Elena's arm and crossing her arm over her chest. "You're a terrible liar."

Elena sighed. "It's just not something I'm comfortable discussing yet. I didn't plan on that happening. I've only been single for a few days. Do I really want to jump into something new?"

The quick glance Elena shot Caroline showed a face full of sympathy and concern. "I think you've had someone dictating your every move for the past year and that you deserve some fun." Her head cocked to the side and she pinched Elena's side. "And if you're going to jump anything it's going to be Damon's bones."

"Caroline!" Elena gasped.

"I'm serious. The way you two look at each other… God! I don't know how you two haven't yet."

Elena shook her head. They were seconds away from pulling into the lot and this conversation needed to tie up quickly. "It's never been right. I've never… I haven't really ever seen Damon like that. We're friends and you were into him and I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"Elena," Caroline breathed. "That was ages ago. I couldn't even get up the nerve to talk to him. I've moved on since then. Plenty of times. I'm into Stefan now. Let yourself have fun."

At Caroline's words, Damon's text echoed in her head. _We can just have fun._

They were in the lot now and Damon's Camaro was already parked. He was leaning against the hood, facing the Falls and dressed in a pair of tan shorts with a fitted grey tee. The slight breeze was blowing his raven dark hair over his face and he lifted an arm to push it aside. He must have seen her car out of his peripheral vision because he was suddenly turning towards them, a huge smile creasing his cheeks.

"That's what we're doing. We're just having fun," she reasoned, ignoring her racing pulse and instant smile the mere sight of him produced. These reactions were most likely because she knew what his mouth tasted like. Not for some deeper reason. Nope.

"Good!" Caroline cheered, hopping out of the car as Elena put it in park.

With an expel of breath and a quick pep talk, Elena hopped out of the car, smoothing down her floral tank and pulling up her jeans.

Caroline was already playing with Damon's radio trying to find a good enough station to play the soundtrack to their night. Flicking her eyes towards Damon, Elena saw that he was already looking towards her with his hands in his pockets and a smirk donning his face.

"Hi," she said when she reached him, kicking at the ground with her foot.

"Hi," he repeated with just a hint of shyness. A very un-Damon characteristic. He was staring down at her as if he was fighting something that seemed natural to him. Yet, also with a bit of apprehension as if he wasn't sure what he should do.

But one could always rely on Caroline to break the ice. "Profound, you two."

Damon seemed to relax at that and laughed, causing Elena to join him. Why were they being so awkward as if they hadn't known each other for a few years? All they had done was kiss. It wasn't like there was this huge romance building.

"Are you done messing with the stations, Blondie?" Damon questioned, turning his attention off Elena for the first time since she got here.

Caroline placed a hand on her hip and cocked her head. "Are you two done pussyfooting?"

"We're not exactly going to go at it with an audience, Care," Elena spoke up.

Her words struck something in Damon because instantly his head snapped towards her. "'Go at it'?" he repeated.

"You know what I mean," she downplayed. Elena wasn't exactly sure she was quite ready to 'jump his bones' as Caroline had put it. They had to take this slow. She was still dealing with some of the aftershocks of her breakup and the rumors that had now become fact. Already Elena could feel herself putting all of her happiness into Damon's hands and she wanted to do her best not to be under the thumb of another guy.

Damon, however, was still stuck on the meaning of her implication. "No, Elena," he smirked, drawling out her name as if he had already seen what she was wearing underneath her clothes. "I don't know what you mean."

He stepped towards her, towering above her and looking down at her as if he could stare her clothes off. Despite knowing that it had to be done manually, she was nearly sure he had done it just by a look alone. She had to glance down just to be sure and upon seeing that she was indeed fully clothed, she looked up only to notice he was only a hairsbreadth away.

"What did you mean, _Elena_?"

Her knees grew weak and she almost reached out to him, pulling him down to her; but just as she was about to, the shrill sound of a phone ringing interrupted them.

"Saved by the bell!" Caroline yelled. "No way did I want the encore HBO showing of _that_ again."

She flipped open the phone and waved off with her hand before disappearing down the embankment, leaving Damon and Elena entirely alone. Save for the sound of water falling off the cliff and the quiet chirping of birds and crickets, the only sound filling Elena's ears were their twinning rapid heartbeats. He was still so close and his breath was now fanning her upturn face. She was getting drunk off of each inhale and just when she couldn't take it anymore, he brought his mouth down towards hers and suddenly all was right in the world.

* * *

Elena's hands had reached up to grab hold of Damon's hair as she edged him back until they were blocked by his car. He hopped on the hood and moved her body between his spread thighs never breaking their kiss, never wanting it to end. _He couldn't believe this was happening._

"What did you say," she whispered between kisses, her voice hoarse and breathless.

Had he actually spoken aloud? Why did this girl turn him into such an idiot? "I just can't believe this is happening. And with you."

She giggled into his mouth. "With me?"

He trailed his kisses down her throat as she arched back and pushed her hips into his, holding his head to her neck. "You have to know how hot you are. How much I've wanted…" Damon couldn't even finish the thought, not with her vein throbbing beneath his lips and her chest heaving against him. He wanted so badly to bring his hands up under that bright tank of hers and go exploring and learn and memorize the curves of her. He fought it back though, not knowing just how far she was willing to go.

"I didn't," she breathed as his mouth explored along her collarbone, tasting the taut skin there. Her hands had drifted down from his hair, along his front, playing with the hem of his shirt. He ached to feel her touch him, to run her fingers along his abdomen, to scratch her nails along his chest. "How long?"

"Since that damned party," he groaned, finally bringing his mouth up to kiss her again. He needed more of her, needed to feel her writhing under him as he kissed and sucked her mouth and tongue. He was a crazed man, desperate to breathe and she was a breath of fresh air.

Damon wasn't sure how she would act around him after last night. After he had got caught up in the moment and her and pulled her down to steal a kiss. The moment she opened up to him, he was in heaven. He lost himself in it, in her. Forgetting all about the fact that his brother and her best friend were inches away, he devoured her. His body felt on fire and she ignited him, burning him up from the inside.

Then his brother had cleared his throat and he had wanted to punch him. When he had sprang off her, she couldn't have moved further away. The moment was broken and reality of what he had done had set in. And then she had stated that Caroline and Stefan continue the game and it had gutted him. Then following his confusion, she added an, "Aren't we still playing?" that completely wrecked him. Damon had fantasized about kissing her since the moment she breezily stepped into his life and dismissed him. And now she was dismissing their first kiss as nothing more than a game.

He was amazed at how quickly the hurt came. How each confused look on her face as she studied him, laced him. How could something that had completely taken hold of him, come off as nothing more than a game to her? When her parted mouth had closed, he had lost all rhyme and reason and needed to taste those full, heart-shaped lips of hers. She had to be just as taken as he was. No one kissed the way they did and without feeling a thing. The whole drive home he had felt it and finally after hours of agony, he relented and texted her.

In two texts she had quelled his fears. It hadn't been part of the game but she wasn't exactly ready for much more. Now that he had kissed her, he couldn't stop and go back to friends. So, he took what he could get and agreed to just have fun. It was what he had been doing since his break-up with Andie. He could do it a little longer if it meant he could eventually convince Elena to become more. They had something. She had to feel it, too. She just wasn't ready.

And he couldn't blame her. With everything she was dealing with in school, everything Andie was putting her through, they couldn't jump into a relationship. Andie would only make things worse. Then there was the fact that she had just regained her freedom. He couldn't take that from her.

So, instead he agreed to put his hopes and wants aside and give in to what he needed. He needed her mouth on his, biting his bottom lip, tugging it towards her. He needed her cool hands reaching under his shirt and raking her nails along his abs. Her kisses grew hungrier with each new inch of skin she discovered until finally he just couldn't take it anymore.

Hoping off the hood of his car, he twisted their bodies around. Slowly, he eased her down until he could crawl on top of her and position his body between her spread legs. One of her jean clad legs hitched on his hip as she used the other to secure her position on the hood. His hands imprisoned her as his mouth assaulted her. If he was going to have to go put aside his heart and live by his needs, he was going to own it.

"You were dressed in jeans and a pink top and those fucking converses you live in," he whispered, continuing his response, "and all these other girls were in tight little dresses and tops and yet you were the hottest girl in the room. I couldn't keep myself away."

She had moved to kissing his neck, letting him relive the moment. Wanting to hear his point of view of something she had most likely deemed platonic. She had been completely clueless to the torment she put him through, wanting to stay friends, forcing him to move on. But now, now he could let it all out. Now she could know the truth.

"You couldn't even handle beer," he chuckled and then stopped and groaned as she nipped at his Adam's apple. "I wanted to kiss the taste off of you. Get drunk off of you. Instead I held myself back, talked to you the whole night. I watched you light up as you talked about your family and friends and how you want to be a teacher and it all just made me want to kiss you more."

Elena pulled back and stared into his eyes, searching his face. Seeing something she liked, she smiled and whispered, "Then you have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Lifting her head up, she slowly kissed his lips, growing more and more rough with each taste. Her body couldn't seem to get closer to him. It was as if she wanted to crack open her chest and pull him inside. Then she said two words that nearly made him lose his footing and cause them to both slide off the hood of his car.

"Touch me," she moaned.

And she didn't even wait for him to move. She took hold of one of his hands and guided it towards the top of her shirt. The straps were already sliding from her shoulder and with hands intertwined; she pushed the top of the tank aside and brought his hand over her bare breast.

It felt so firm and perfect in his palm. He began massaging it on his own, flicking his thumb over nipple, before pinching the pebbled peak until it hardened between his fingers. Elena's hand had went back to his hair, tugging him down and deepening their kiss.

She was unraveling beneath him, sighing and breathing heavily into his mouth. Her kisses grew sloppy and he was acting like some preteen boy who had touched his first boob. Not the nineteen year old college student who had more notches on his belt than he cared to admit. Yet despite all of his fumbling, she seemed to be enjoying it by the breathy moans and biting lips.

Damon had heard of myths of girls who orgasmed just by breast play alone and yet here beneath him was myth becoming fact. With the combination of his hands on her breasts, her hips desperately trying to find friction by grinding against him, and his mouth sucking on her tongue, she came undone. She was mumbling cries in his mouth and raking her nails against his scalp. They were out in the open with only the cover of night to conceal what they were doing.

Then just as she came down and he pulled his hand from her top to caress the side of her face, headlights appeared through the dashboard window. With one last lingering kiss, they crawled off the hood of the car and settled against it. Stefan pulled up in his red speedster and Caroline came bounding into the clearing, shutting her phone closed.

"Stefan!" she squealed, bounding towards him and wrapping her arms around his neck when he stepped out of his car.

Damon felt a pang of jealousy at the way they could be so carefree. They knew where each other stood. They knew where their relationship was headed. They weren't just having fun.

* * *

_Busy tomorrow morning?_

Elena sent the text as she lay upon her bed, catching up on some TV. She was still glowing from what Damon's hands had done to her on the hood of his car. Never before had she orgasmed by someone's hand on her breast and their hips grinding into hers. It usually took a lot more but there was something about Damon that helped her relax enough to feel everything. And, boy, had she felt everything.

Her phone vibrated on her thigh alerting her to a new text message.

_I have Sunday mass._

The disappointment weighted down on her. She was desperate to see him again. To continue what they had done on the hood of his car. To take this step-by-step or more accurately base-by-base.

_Oh_, was all she replied. She would just have to wait until he was free to hang out again.

But his response was quick.

_I could cancel and stay home…_

Those three dots held a lot of meaning. There was no hiding what she was asking of him. He knew very well what would happen when they met up tomorrow morning. Those three dots held all kinds of implications.

_That wouldn't be very Catholic of you._

She could just imagine him being forced to go to church knowing he could've played with her instead. The fixed pout that would grace his face. It almost made her want to actually accompany her father to church just to witness it in person.

Then her phone vibrated and she almost melted.

_Going to hell is worth it if it means seeing you._

Putting her excitement aside, she typed out, _If you're okay with it…_

His response was immediate.

_I'm more than okay with it. I'll see you tomorrow morning ;-)_

The only thing more presumptuous than three dots was a winky face. She was in for it. For sure.

She couldn't wait for tomorrow. Now if she could just fall asleep quick enough for it to get here faster.


	7. Chapter 6:BodyHeat in the Passenger Seat

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thanks go out once again to Morgan (morvamp) who is so amazing that she takes time out of her busy schedule to preread my little story. If you're not already reading Claiming Hearts and Spaces you should be! Things are getting dirty… and Elena is more than okay with it!**

* * *

Sleepy Damon instantly became Elena's favorite.

Elena hadn't known what to expect when she had woken up early the next morning to meet up with Damon. It was pretty obvious this wasn't going to be a regular hang out. There would be kissing and touching and she wasn't entirely sure what to wear. She wanted something easy to remove without seeming like that was the very thing she was expecting to happen. After a quick debate, she decided on yoga pants and a tank top with a zippered hoodie to fight the chilly spring air. She had been the first to arrive and settled back into her seat, trying to catch a little shut eye after sending a quick text to Damon to let her know she was here.

He hadn't kept her waiting long. The familiar sound of tires crunching on gravel caused her to sit upright and see Damon's car pulling into the parking lot at the Falls. She gave herself one quick look over in her rearview mirror and hopped out of the car, sliding easily into his passenger seat. And that's when she saw her favorite version of Damon to date.

Dressed in black thick sweatpants and a grey sweater, Damon was clearly fighting sleep. He had the beginnings of scruff darkening his jawline and his raven black hair was in a new state of disarray. His eyes were trying to stay open and were losing the battle. When he noticed her sitting beside her, he turned his head and gave her a lazy smirk. "Morning."

"Someone's sleepy," Elena whispered, inching closer to him and running her fingers through his hair. At the ministrations of her fingers, his eyes fell closed and each touched pulled a quiet moan from him. It was sexy as hell.

"That feels _so_ good."

She giggled, softly, not wanting to break the lull that her touch was putting him into. He seemed so open and boyish to her in that moment. She always forgot that he was only just a year older than her. Something about him had always made him seem so much older. From the moment she met him, he had carried himself in a way that portrayed such experience and yet deep down she knew that didn't always equate to age. The man practically purring under her touch was still a teenager, like herself.

"I have to admit," Elena spoke, keeping her voice low, "when I asked you to hang out last night, I had a whole other kind of petting in mind."

"Huh," Damon said, eyes still closed, but a smirk on his lips. He suddenly shot his hand out, startling her, and slipped it beneath her hoodie to grab hold of her breast over her thin white tank top. "Was this what you had in mind?"

Elena pulled at his hair, jerking him awake. She didn't let go though and used it to bring his face closer to hers. So close that she could smell the mint of his toothpaste. "That was quite a steal to second."

Letting out a quick yawn, Damon looked down at her hungrily. "Was that a complaint?"

"It's quite a let down from yesterday," she challenged, meeting his gaze with a building hunger she didn't know she had in her. He still looked sleepy and sexy, but now there was alertness to his tone and a fire in his eyes. She wondered what it would be like to wake up next to him and stroke him awake with her tongue. Feeling him go from soft to hard against her tongue as the realization and sensation of what she was doing dawned on him. Then the realization that there would never be any sleepovers quelled the thought.

What they were doing and what they had agreed upon left no room for a relationship; not now and possibly not ever. She was just getting used to the idea of Damon as something more than her extremely attractive friend. Just getting used to the idea of wanting to kiss him, touch him, explore him and get to know him in ways that friendship alone excluded from her. This was a whole other side of Damon Salvatore that she had never experience. That she had only heard Andie and all his conquests gush about.

And now the look that they had told her was a real "panty-dropper" was being turned on her and she very much wanted to move this awkward boob grabbing to the next level. They had all morning; no interruptions, no third wheels. They were completely alone to do as they pleased.

Damon's mouth was in a knowing smirk that told her he knew just how much she had enjoyed last night. "Yesterday was _very_ interesting." His hand was sliding from her breast and inching towards her back, easing her closer to him.

"Is that the word you would use?"

"One of the tamer one's."

Elena shook her head. "And since when have you ever been tame?"

His eyes averted down to his hand that now rested on her thigh as he said, "I don't want to scare you away."

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised. Her hand slid down from his hair, her finger running along his lip. He simply watched her own parted ones in fascination before she closed the distance and kissed him. It was only her third time kissing him and yet it still felt like the first. The same anxious butterflies, the same frenzied apprehension. She reined in her hunger, kissing him slowly, languidly. They had no reason for hurried kisses and frantic touching. They could draw this out, start all over. Explore anew.

And they took advantage of that. They spent time just kissing; losing themselves in a simple act that was so often overlooked. Damon was such an amazing kisser that she found herself growing hungry for his kisses. He would tease and nip and bite and then when she felt like she couldn't take it any longer, he would deepen the kiss and have her clinging to him, never wanting it to end. Their hands clutched at each other and roamed, dancing along unveiled skin.

Damon slid Elena's hoodie off her shoulders as she slowly unzipped it and it fell off of her. With the newly exposed skin of her shoulders and arms, clavicle and the tops of her breasts, Damon's eyes darkened. He brought his lips from her own and kissed down the side of her mouth to her jawline and neck, licking a line along her collarbone before making his way down to the tops of her breasts. She was practically panting with need, desperate to have his mouth on her hardened peaks.

She paused in that need, focusing on a new one; the need to have him shirtless. Pulling his head away from her, she reached for the bottom of his grey sweater and lifted it over his head. He wore a white t-shirt underneath and when his eyes shifted from his shirt to her, he laughed. "We match."

"I guess we both had the same idea in mind," she smiled, moving to the hem of his t-shirt and slipping her hands beneath, letting her fingers dance along the indentations of his hips.

"Yeah," he responded, reaching for her and pushing aside the top of her tank and exposing her breast. "Easy access."

With a wink, he let her lift off his t-shirt before he dove towards her chest and took a pebbled peak between his lips. Elena let out a soft moan at the feeling, reveling in it, letting it take hold of her as her hands reached out to touch the bare skin of his back. She let her nails rake along his skin, digging in when she felt how strong he was. His mouth was heaven on her and he brought his free hand to the waistband of her yoga pants, dancing along where the fabric folded over.

As he sucked on her breast, he pulled back and blew, sending shivers along her skin and causing her to grab hold of the back of his head and pull him up towards her. They were kissing like it was air and they were drowning, drowning in each other and what they each made the other feel.

At her eagerness or the lifting of her hips, she wasn't sure which; Damon's hand slipped inside and slid his finger between her folds. Her moaned at how wet she was for him and she took his momentarily stillness, to ease her seat back to give him better access. With a smile against her lips, he pushed his finger inside, using his thumb to circle her clit.

The guy was going for 2-0—back to back orgasms. It was like he was determined to have each one of his touches be her undoing. And he was well on his way. The dual stimulation of his fingers, the pumping and circling, had her crying out. Then when he added another finger and started to curl them inside of her, she lost it.

She went to close her eyes, turn her head away, hide from him, but Damon wouldn't have it. He took his free hand and grabbed hold of her chin and forced her to look at him as she came. His eyes were focused and dark and he was biting his lip. Sweat was causing his skin to glisten and her hand grabbed hold of his shoulders and squeezed as her orgasms crashed into her.

In daylight they could really _see_ each other. Darkness made one rely on touch, scent, sound. It made you act on instinct, heightened everything. But it didn't actually show you. With daylight, she could see the excitement in his eyes at watching her come undone at his touch, see the relief. The darkness hid all of this from her and it must have been equally as muting to him. He couldn't see the way her eyes widened, how her mouth parted in a perfect "O", how her chest rose and fell and above all how absolutely blissful she looked when her feet metaphorically hit the ground.

Her hands reached out and pulled him to her, kissing him once again. Her bare breasts mashed against his bare chest, their breathing rising and falling together. "That was _amazing_," she breathed, resting her forehead against his as they took a moment to catch their breath. Elena reached her hand between them to reciprocate and, if she was being honest, getting answers to some burning curiosity. She was dying to know his size and girth, the feel of him. Only when Damon seemed to become aware of what she was doing, he pulled his body away and the hand that had at some point slipped from her yoga pants, gripped her hand.

"No," he whispered. "Today is all about you."

Elena was already shaking her head. "That's no fun."

"You clearly didn't see what I did."

Damon placed a quick kiss on her lips before leaning back into his seat and running his hands through his hair. The sight of him glistening in sweat, bare-chested, and his hair a mess was doing something to her. At some point he must have pushed his seat back so that he could stretch out his long legs and it gave her the perfect idea.

Making sure to steer clear of gear shift, she moved to straddle him. Her hands reach down to his sweats and eased them down. Despite his protests, he lifted his hips and let her ease them down to his knees before settling back on his lap. "Elena," Damon questioned, "what are you doing?"

"I promise I won't get all handsy," she smiled. "I'm just not quite ready to let you go just yet."

Leaning forward, she kissed him and let him place his hands on her hips and guide her tank top up. He removed the top from her and disposed of it on the passenger seat before doing the same with her bra. His hands immediately went to her bare breasts and played with them. With his attention focused elsewhere, she began to grind her hips against him. Through the thin material of her yoga pants and his briefs, there was no hiding how hard he was. She could feel the outline of him that gave her just a hint of an answer to her questions. Damon Salvatore was packing.

The thought only made her excitement grow and she began to grind her hips with purpose. It was just enough for Damon to put together what she was up to. He halted her movements with thrust upward. "Very sneaky, Gilbert."

She bent her head and gave him the slightest of kisses. In a breathy voice, she replied, "I promised I wouldn't touch you with my hands. I said nothing about a little friction."

"Evil," he teased, biting her lip.

Elena angled her hips and began grinding against him. And this time Damon didn't protest. Instead he brought her body tighter against him so her chest rested against his and he could devour her in kisses. They moved together, grinding in perfect unison and hinting at just how fantastic the sex would be when they finally decided to do it. He was angling himself in a way that rubbed against her clit perfectly and she could tell her own grinding was doing amazing things to Damon by the hard bites to her lip and the loud groans grunting out of his throat.

All the built up foreplay and her already sensitive body from her previous orgasm caused something amazing to happen. She felt it spreading from her belly and out until she felt like she was flying. Then Damon was gripping her hips and lifting her off him as he grunted out and came inside his briefs.

Their foreheads connected and Elena spared a glance out the window at the still vacant lot. She realized she had become so wrapped up in this little bubble with Damon that she hadn't given a thought to the fact that anyone could've driven up to the Falls to relax on a Sunday. Anyone could've seen their naked chests and moving bodies and thought they were having sex. Instead of freaking her out, it gave her a kind of high that someone could've seen Damon Salvatore climaxing by her hips alone.

Then she turned towards Damon and realized why that wouldn't be good. They were sneaking around and word getting out wouldn't exactly ease up the taunting she was experiencing in school. This bubble would have to remain just that; a little world that only the two of them knew existed. It was the only way it could work for now.

She gave him a long, slow kiss before returning to her seat and putting her tank and hoodie back on. Damon did the same with his shirt and sweater before rolling down the windows and letting soft music fill up the car. He looked down at his lap and shook his head. "I haven't come in my underwear since sophomore year."

"Aw," Elena cooed. "I can just imagine little One Pump Chump Damon Salvatore."

"Easy, Gilbert. I was new to the game."

She laughed. Then remember something, she said, "I have a spare pair of boxers in the back of my truck if you need them."

His eyebrow arched. "Uh, why?"

Biting her lip, Elena replied, "They were supposed to be a gift for, uh, Nik, but he didn't like them."

Damon was silent for a moment before saying, "Yeah, that actually would be great."

Nodding, Elena slid from the Camaro and walked over to her Ford Explorer and got the boxers out of the back. They were covered with x's and o's and tiny little chubby cupids. She remembered thinking Nik would like them and how he laughed it off as if he could ever be seen in something so ridiculous. With the thought still replaying in her mind, she walked over to the window and handed them over. "I know they're ridiculous and you don't even wear boxers but—"

"These are hilarious!" Damon laughed. The memory made Elena cringe, waiting for the reprimand. Only Damon said, "I love them! You sure I can keep them?"

It was Elena's turn to laugh. "It's not like I want them back. Consider it a gift for all the O's."

"So, now I'm a prostitute?" he challenged, a smirk lifting one side of his mouth.

Elena was already backtracking. "No, that's not what I meant."

"I know, Elena," Damon said, placing his hand on hers. "I'm messing with you."

"Oh," she smiled, awkwardly standing by his car. "Well, I better get going. You probably have to get back before your parents and Stefan return from mass."

He looked at the clock. "Yeah, they'll be home soon."

Elena nodded. "Talk to you later."

Damon nodded. "Bye, Elena."

"Bye, Damon."

And with one last glance, she turned and headed back to her car and watched as Damon sped off with one last honk at her before he disappeared from her rearview mirror.

* * *

"You've been busy lately," Ric stated, throwing the football towards Mason who caught it with ease. They had spent the better part of the day out on the field after they had all finished their classes. Damon was waiting for Stefan to show up after baseball practice since it was just a few fields over. They had mostly talked about sports and school. All talk of girls shockingly not coming up… until now.

Damon shrugged, catching the ball Mason threw at him. "Just hanging out."

"With Elena?" Mason sang.

"Cut him some slack," Alaric stated.

Mason shook his head. "Cause you disappeared all weekend with Jenna?"

Alaric threw the ball at Mason's junk with perfect precision that the guy dropped down with a yell, clutching himself. "Asshole!"

Damon and Ric just laughed. Jenna was a soft subject for Ric. They had been dating since junior year and were inseparable. She was such a cool girl that even Damon found it hard to get mad at his friend when he flaked. He was beginning to know the feeling of wanting to spend all of your time with someone.

Just as Damon went to help Mason up, Stefan jogged on to the field. "Looks like I came at a good time."

"Yeah," Mason stated, "I was just going to kick Ric's ass."

As Ric and Mason started chasing each other around the field, Stefan approached his brother. "They're beating each other up sooner than usual."

"Ric did hit Mason in the crotch with a perfect spiral."

Stefan cringed. "Ouch."

"So," Damon said, putting on his best big brother voice, "how was school?"

With an odd look, Stefan questioned, "You mean Elena didn't tell you what happened today at school?"

Damon shook his head. He surprisingly hadn't heard from Elena today. "What happened, Stef?"

Stefan took a deep breath. "Apparently word got out that you and Elena have been hooking up. Katherine blabbed about it to the whole school."

Katherine was the girl he had been hooking up with before he got all caught up with Elena. He had been so immersed in Elena Gilbert these past few days that he had completely forgot to cut ties with Katherine. Forgot to even think of what her reaction would be to all of this. She was friends with Andie but had kept their little thing under wraps. But she didn't take competition well and the fact that he had moved on would not go over easily. And Elena was the one trapped at school with her. She would make her life more of a hell than Andie ever did.

"How the hell did Katherine Pierce find out?"

Stefan looked down warily. "That's the thing…"

"Spit it out, Stefan."

"Caroline."

Damon's eyes widened. "What? Caroline opened her big fucking mouth?"

"No, no, no," Stefan pleaded, his hands on his brothers shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. "It's not like that. The night it was the three of you at the Falls and she disappeared on the phone? She was on the phone with Trevor; that techy geek? Well, Caroline mentioned off hand that she was bored because you and Elena were hooking up. Seems Trevor knew about you and Kat. Guy knows everything. He told Kat off for messing around with you and that Elena was a nice girl who didn't deserve that. Then Kat told the whole school."

With his face in his hands, Damon mumbled, "How's Elena?"

"Not so good," he replied, honestly. "The beginning of the day was rough but somewhere around lunch she got her strength back. She let everything just roll right off and her and Kat had it out in the lunch line. Elena said that the two of you were just friends."

"She's still keeping this a secret."

Stefan nodded. "Trying to."

"This is all my fault."

"You're both willing participants in this, Damon. She's as much a part of this as you are."

Damon still wasn't so sure. "If I hadn't kissed her. If I held back and waited until she graduated…"

"People still would've found out. Mystic Falls is a small town." Stefan slapped his brother back. "Just talk to Elena. See where she is with all of this."

"We never did get to work out the ground rules yesterday," Damon remembered. He had just been so caught up in her. His attempt to hold back and talk first was thwarted when she started running her fingers through his hair. It was just so easy and fun with her that he forgot about the fact that they had to be careful that it didn't ruin their friendship. He wasn't even sure where it was going. If she even wanted it go anywhere—if he even did.

Stefan looked at him, meaningfully. "I think maybe you should."

There were so many reasons why this thing between them wasn't right for now. But he couldn't make himself stop. He shot Elena a text; determined to not screw this up.

_We have to talk. When can I see you?_


	8. Chapter 7: Look At The Trouble Were In

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and beta'ing this chapter! Without her recent update I'm not sure if I ever would have got this one out. I've been in such a negative place regarding TVD and Delena that I needed her positive spin in AU to bring me back. Love you, peaches! If you're not already reading Claiming Hearts and Spaces than you missed quite the rollercoaster last chapter!**

* * *

The parking lot behind the Piggly Wiggly a town over was vacant except for a few stagnant shopping carts. It was late in the evening and the only light aiding his sight were the streetlamps overhead. It was just enough that he could see what was around him and the outline of the building before him, but not much else. All that mattered was that it was just enough to see when Elena's SUV pulled around the side of the building to the back where he was parked.

It had been over an hour before she finally answered his text earlier. She gave some excuse about doing homework before saying she wouldn't be free until later that night. With an ending line of "Don't you have an early class?" followed by a couple of dots, he knew she was avoiding him. He wasn't having any of it. They had to deal with the mess of what happened today and where they stood before it got all the more complicated. So, instead of letting her wallow, he told her later that night was fine and that he would meet her at the Piggly Wiggly so they were far away from the prying eyes of Mystic Falls.

Plus, the Piggly Wiggly was the least sexy place he could think of. Just saying it made his dick crawl up inside himself.

They had plenty to talk about tonight and he didn't need to find himself getting distracted and forgetting why he was here in the first place. The incident with Katherine was something he should've seen coming. He knew how she operated and by silencing her calls and ignoring her texts, it was bound to make her curious and all the more vicious. It killed him knowing Elena had been victimized because of his lapse in judgment.

Elena stepped out of the car in a floral day dress with her hair pin straight and blowing in the slight wind. How did she continue to so effortlessly stun him? She put a faux smile on her face and muttered, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want?" she questioned as she approached him. She was still more than an arm's length away but he could see the red rimming her eyes and the weariness in her face. He was more than aware of what she was doing. He knew her well enough by now. Despite the past few days of happiness and joy, Elena was falling back into her old ways; running away from her problems and withdrawing into herself.

It was his job to pull her out of it.

"Stefan told me what happened with Katherine today."

Her arms crossed over her body, protecting herself. In a defensive tone, she stated, "I had a feeling he would."

Damon hated seeing her so hopeless. A part of him believed that being with him was building her back up into that girl he met in front of the school; the girl who didn't care about the opinions of others. _That_ girl drank water despite an entire party of underage drinkers. _That_ girl always wore a smile.

The Elena he was seeing in front of him was the girl Nik had created. She was unsure and insecure and holding everything in. A stark difference to the girl who had been so forward and secure with him since her breakup. And Damon knew he couldn't let her revert back to the side effects of being in an emotionally abusing relationship.

"Why did you say that nothing was going on between us?"

The question clearly shocked her. Her eyes flicked up towards him and her iron grip on her arms loosened ever so slightly. She appeared to be fighting against something before she brought her eyes down and said, "Because I don't know if there even is an 'us'."

"We're having fun, right?"

She nodded, the tension in her body still causing her to keep her distance.

"Then there is an 'us,'" he replied, stepping towards her and pulling her against him. They fell back against his car and she gave a slight smile now that she was in his arms again. "I like where this is heading. Don't you?"

"Yeah. I'm just not sure I'm ready to belong to someone yet. Not sure I can be someone's girlfriend."

Her hands were running along his shirt-clad chest, bottom lip pulled in by her teeth. She was full of nervous energy now and he would be lying if he said he wasn't too. Damon was almost certain he was falling for this girl, but judging by her words, she wasn't quite ready to hear that. Still, he found himself saying, "You mean, be _my_ girlfriend."

Those shocked filled eyes met his again and her hands stilled on his chest. "It's just too complicated right now."

"So," he began hesitantly, "do you want to stop… _this_?"

Damon tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He was having so much fun exploring this unchartered stage in their relationship. Things were new and interesting. He enjoyed seeing her so open with him when they were wrapped up in the moment. It's when she let herself unwind, when her mind wasn't in control, but her intuitions and body were. It's when they, just, fit.

Could he really say goodbye to all of that? Put it on hold knowing that it might never start up again; never move forward? He didn't want to; especially not when her actions spoke volumes more than her voice did, leaving him assured that she wanted this just as badly as he did. But searching her eyes with his own, he found the strength to put his own feelings aside. He knew most of what Elena had been through the past year. She was terrified and yet had jumped into this thing with both feet. That had all been before the real world burst their bubble. Now she had to decide if she wanted it.

And he knew that he would be willing to do anything she wanted.

His heart stayed lodged in his throat as he watched her think it over. Then finally, her eyes met his and she spoke. "No. I don't want this thing between us to stop."

He released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Even with all the drama at school?"

"They can go screw themselves. I'm single. You're single. They all think we're having this amazing affair so why shouldn't we? We're already getting hell for it."

The fire and determination in her eyes made him lean forward and kiss her. This wasn't ending any time soon. They could explore this thing and when she graduated in a few weeks and was free from the constant drama, he could see if she wanted to make it official. Until then he would enjoy the benefits.

Speaking off…

He pulled back and whispered, "To prevent any more drama, we need to make some ground rules for this."

"I agree," she nodded.

"Any idea where to start?" Damon wanted to get this conversation over so they could get back to kissing… and hopefully some other stuff. Despite what he thought, hooking up with Elena in the back of a Piggly Wiggly sounded hot as hell. Especially with the way her body was moving against his. He wanted to get her in the back seat of his truck as quickly as possible and get his hands under her dress. They were already inching up her legs to where it was now bunched up around her ass.

With her eyes focused intently on his lips, she whispered, "No hooking up with other girls on nights you're hooking up with me."

That was a bucket of ice water. "You want me hooking up with other girls?"

She nodded. "I'm going to try to enjoy being single, Damon. It wouldn't be fair to ask you to be faithful when I might not be. It's not like we're dating."

She couldn't seem to look at him as she said this. While he appreciated her openness, the thought of kissing or being with anyone but Elena just seemed wrong. Yet, here she was, willingly stating she would be hooking up with other guys. It brought up something possessive inside of him. His hands that gripped her ass clenched hard.

It all just seemed so completely wrong.

But what did he expect? She had just gotten out of a controlling relationship. Could he really expect her to be so eager to tie herself to him so quickly?

"If that's what you want, Elena," he responded, when the words finally made their way out. They tasted like acid and he had to bite back the bile rising with them as he pictured another guy's hands on her.

"It's what I want."

Damon nodded. "Anything else?" It was better to get all the pain over with at once.

"Just be honest with me?" she phrased it like a question. "You're my friend first, Damon. I don't want to ruin that."

His hands reached up to cup her face, letting her dress fall back down to her thighs. "I'll always be honest with you," he stated, knowing he was already lying.

* * *

"God, that feels amazing," Elena whispered.

They were sprawled out in the backseat of her car. The seats were folded forward to expand the trunk and make room for fun. Damon's mouth was latched to her breast as he sucked on her nipple. His hands were busy being buried inside of her and the dual stimulation was driving her wild.

Her leg was hitched on his hip and her dress had been unzipped so that the top could be pulled down to give him access. The flatness of her hair was all kinds of messy at the moment and yet she couldn't find it in herself to care. The things Damon was doing to her could make a genius forget basic addition.

She had no idea why she thought avoiding Damon earlier was a good idea. Knowing him, he wouldn't let her wallow and run away from the situation. He forced her to stare at the truth head on and fight her way through. It was that spark that had her defending herself against Katherine earlier today. But then the scared little girl inside her had her denying the whole thing. She was made completely of hypocrisy's lately.

Finding out Damon had been messing around with Katherine prior to her had been like a kick to the gut. Damon had made the first move that night when all this started and had been so hurt when she had dismissed it that it had her assuming he wasn't currently with anyone. She knew he hadn't exactly been celibate since his split from Andie, but she didn't know how often and with whom he was spending his time with since the split. With Katherine's words, reality washed in and she had been caught off guard.

And Elena couldn't let it happen again.

That was why she instated the rule that they didn't have to be monogamous. She added on the fact that he couldn't hook up with someone else on days he was with her because that was something she knew she wouldn't be able to handle. Smelling another girl's perfume on his clothes would drive her mad. Tasting another girl on his lips would send her into emotional pits she wasn't ready to revisit. Despite, saying that she would be playing the field as well, Elena knew that she wouldn't. Even though it would probably be smarter to get out there and date a little, for some reason she couldn't make herself do it.

Caroline told her it was because she had been out of the game for so long and after what she had been through with Nik, she was just jumping to the nearest safety net. Needless to say, after the whole thing with Trevor, that comment didn't go over well. Her best friend was remaining pretty tight lipped on Elena's decision making after that. No matter how right her statement may be.

Right now she just wanted to be caught up with Damon and not think about what went down with Katherine and how she knew it wasn't over, how her best friend had spilled the beans, or that Damon would be hooking up with other girls because she had said it was okay. Those were things that could be dealt with later on. At this moment, she wanted to be focused on the way her body felt post-orgasm, how Damon's mouth felt as he kissed down her abdomen, or the gentle way he cupped her sex as she came back down.

"I want to do something," he mumbled against the fabric of her dress.

Damon was now perched between her spread thighs, looking up at her with a sly smirk and those whirlpool eyes of his. She wanted to commit the image to memory because nothing was sexier than the sight of Damon Salvatore licking his lips and looking up at you mere inches from your throbbing clit.

"And what's that?" she replied, her voice husky and dazed.

In response, Damon Salvatore brought his mouth down and sucked on her clit. With it still being sensitive from her previous orgasm, her whole body shivered causing Damon's smirk to deepen.

"OH!" she exclaimed. "_That_."

"Yes," he replied, turning his head and kissing her inner thigh. He was practically sucking the skin, leaving his mark. How could such a non-sexual area be so sensitive and have his mouth feeling so scandalous on her skin? "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"A few times. All with the same guy." _Never did it feel like this_, she wanted to add on. But he hadn't even done it yet. He was merely teasing her with it; a suck to her clit, a kiss to her thigh. How was she supposed to add on how fucking fantastic it was feeling when he was just getting started?

His kisses descended towards the area of skin where her thigh ended and her sex began. "I see," was all he said.

Damon situated himself so that he had a hand on each thigh as he stared down at her like she was something to eat. She was breathing so hard that she thought for sure she would pass out, but it never happened. Instead, her eyes stayed trained on him as she rested on her elbows and watched him bring his mouth down once again to lick the length of her lips. His eyes stayed on her as he used one hand to spread her so he could flick his tongue against her clit, repeatedly, with the intent of bringing out incoherent sounds from her.

Which he did. Much to her embarrassment.

When she could no longer take the sensation much longer, he pushed his tongue inside of her and moaned.

That was it. She lost what little stability she had resting on her elbows and crashed down to her back. Her eyes practically rolled towards the back of her head as her back arched as his ministrations continued. It was absolute heaven in primal form. And by the sounds coming from between her now clenched thighs, Damon was enjoying himself.

From her limited experience and from what she heard amidst girl talk, most guys loathed giving oral sex. They saw it as only a means to get what they wanted. Yet here was Damon, of his own volition, going to town down there like he was a little boy spending the day at Disney World. It hadn't been something she initiated, or even asked for. They had been perfectly happy doing what they had been - she was even about to give him a handsy - and now she was thanking her lucky stars (the one's she was seeing from behind her closed eyelids) that Damon Salvatore loved going down on girls. Not only that… but that he was excellent at it!

Her body felt like jelly from the pure blissed out state he was putting her in. She could feel her body coiling tightly and all her sensations pooling towards her lower abdomen where Damon's mouth was. Then quickly and carefully, he flipped them so that her whole body rested on his face.

Now _this_ was something new.

"Uh, what are you doing?" she breathed out, feeling like she was crushing him and blushing from the embarrassment of being so exposed. She was bent awkwardly so that her head didn't hit the roof of her car and both her hands were clutching the front seats as she straddled his face. Damon, at some point, had slid their bodies forward so that his whole body now stretched along the entire length of the folded backseat and trunk.

"I prefer eating out this way."

After answering, he didn't even waste a breath before bringing his mouth back to her sex.

Elena still felt self-conscious. "Aren't I crushing you?"

He mumbled a "nuh-uh" against her, the vibrations of his breathing doing amazing things to her. Damon seemed so completely happy that she decided to push the anxiety aside and focus on how he was making her feel. She surrendered to it, grinding against his face, muttering apologies through her moans. In response, Damon simply held her down.

The guy _really_ enjoyed giving oral sex.

There was something about his enthusiasm that made her feel empowered. He was truly worshipping her with his tongue. It had her feeling wanted and sexy in a way nothing ever had before. No amount of new lingerie, perfect dresses, or hot guy check-outs could do to her what Damon was evoking now.

Her orgasm crept on her quickly, rocketing through her body as it shot out from her abdomen and flamed along her veins. Her hands squeezed hold of both headrests and her thighs squeezed shut, crushing Damon's face. He didn't seem to mind by the way his mouth moved sensually along her even more sensitive skin. Just as her body hit the precipice of her orgasm, bright lights lit up the interior of the car.

Elena quickly turned her head to see a car approaching the back lot the same way she came. She dropped her body down and hopped off Damon, sliding next to him. "There's a car coming," she whispered.

"A cop?"

"I think so. It has one of those bright lights off the mirror."

Damon inched up, looking in the direction of the car. "Shit. It's a cop."

Quickly, Elena slid her dress back up and zipped it closed. Noticing a tear in her dress, she said, "Damon, can I borrow your hoodie?"

With a quick affirmative as he slid his shirt back on, Elena reached into the darkness for his hoodie and drew it over her before she quickly tried to tame her hair. With both of them clothed again and looking decent as they leaned against the back of the front seats, the cop chose to knock his flashlight against the window.

Elena reached towards the front seat, turning on the ignition and telling Damon he could roll down the window. He did and a bright flashlight blinded them both.

"Everything okay in here?" the cop asked, looking from Elena to Damon.

"Yes, Officer," Elena responded.

The officer moved his light to check out the back of the truck. "What's going on in here?"

"We were just talking outside but she got cold so we decided to talk in here," Damon said, voice even. You would never know he had his head between her legs just moments ago, unless you took notice of the slight glisten to his mouth that could easily be mistaken for sweat.

Elena made a show of pulling at the sleeves of Damon's hoodie to demonstrate how cold she was.

The cop nodded. "I see. Well, you're not supposed to be hanging around here this late. I suggest you kids head home."

"We will," Elena promised. "Thank you, Officer."

"Have a good night," the cop said. With one last look around the car, he stepped away and headed back towards his vehicle.

With a relieved sigh, Damon put the window up and turned towards Elena. "That was interesting."

Still riding the high of what he had done and the close call of getting caught, Elena rushed towards him and brought her mouth to his, tasting herself on his tongue. "That was _amazing_," she breathed, her nose brushing his.

"You rather looked like you were enjoying yourself." Damon winked.

"So did you," she teased.

His hand danced along the exposed skin of her leg. It found its way to the apex of her thigh and slipped inside where she was completely soaked. "I did. I can't wait to taste you again."

"You're driving me crazy," she smiled. "That cop is waiting for us to leave and all I want is to continue doing what we were doing."

"Me too," Damon responded, kissing her cheek. "We good?"

Elena nodded. "Better than good. Fucking fantastic."

He laughed. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yes. Definitely." He hopped out of the car as she maneuvered to the front seat. That's when she noticed she still had his hoodie on. She rolled down the window and called out for him. "Damon! You forgot your hoodie."

He turned back towards her. "You can keep it."

With a smile, he made his way around his car and hopped in. As she gave him one last wave, she pulled out of the parking lot and watched as Damon followed her until they both turned their separate ways. When she pulled up to her house and put the car in park, she pulled the neck of the hoodie up to her nose and inhaled, smelling Damon.

As she made her way towards her door, she only hoped that this whole thing wouldn't become a mess and that she could handle the idea of doing what they were doing and knowing he could be doing the same with someone else. More importantly she hoped she could keep herself from falling for him.

Elena's phone vibrated in the hoodie's pocket and she opened it to see a text from Damon.

_I had fun tonight =p_

Shaking her head, she stepped inside her house and made her way towards her room. Her parents were sound asleep and she changed into pajamas, pulling Damon's hoodie back on before she slipped under the covers. She was getting in deep and if she wasn't careful she could get hurt, but at the moment she just didn't care.

And that was dangerous.

* * *

**A/N: For those of you missing the angst… No worries. It'll make a reappearance leading up to and during Prom Weekend. Then things will really get complicated.**

**As always read and review xx**


	9. Chapter 8: Fire Like A Thousand Suns

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A huge thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for pushing me to finish this chapter. It was a really difficult one because of thoughts not matching actions and a certain someone taking a step back and Morgan helped push me through it. So you owe her BIG right now. I suggest reading Claiming Heart and Spaces, her amazing new fic!**

… **Reese's cups for those of you who can pick out the special line in this chapter that comes from a certain last dance…**

* * *

"Are we sure he isn't in here?" Caroline joked, opening up Elena's backpack and rifling through it.

Elena rolled her eyes dramatically. "Positive. He's too big to fit in there."

She had to laugh at her best friends antics. Ever since they arrived at her best friend's house, Caroline had been searching through closets and peeking under beds, utterly convinced that Damon was hiding out just waiting to interrupt them. Completely forgetting the fact that Damon Salvatore had never stepped even a toe inside of this house—purely out of fear of Caroline's mother, the sheriff—she'd been insisting that Elena had somehow made him hide out there to whisk her away. Elena couldn't exactly begrudge her of it. She had been nearly attached to Damon since the whole friends with benefits thing began. Every day came with a new step in their arrangement and that only made her want to hurry up and get to the next one. Elena wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out. And that's why it left very little time for Caroline.

No. Judging by the way her blonde bombshell of a best friend was shaking with unshared news, Elena couldn't begrudge the teasing. Especially because it was true.

"That's what she said!" Caroline cheered, laughing at her antics. Placing Elena's backpack down beside the bed and settling back beside Elena, her eyes turned on her with one brow in a meaningful arch. "So, no Damon to interrupt us?"

Elena shook her head. "Nope. Just girl time."

"Until when?"

Elena laughed. Her best friend knew her too well. "Later tonight. We're headed to the movies."

"Actual public appearance?" Caroline balked. "I'm shocked."

"It's all my doing. With everything going on at school, I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. Now I don't give a fuck who gets burned."

It was the truth. Between Katherine and Andie's combined torture, Elena barely got a reprieve from it all. Andie wouldn't let up because she was convinced something had been going on while she had been with Damon and Katherine berated her because she was convinced it was going on now. Her supposed past and lies about the present were both out to get her. And after her talk with Damon she was finally done with the bullshit.

"Good for you! We're almost free," Caroline promised, sympathy coating her words. She felt at ease instantly as her best friend's hand reached out and took both of hers. "Andie practically pushed the two of you together and Katherine is hooking up with other people. Why they both can't just focus on their own lives is beyond me."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Elena stated. Just thinking about the hushed whispers and attempts to trip and shove her were enough to drive her wild. Thankfully, most of the school had moved passed it and now she just had to deal with Andie's group of friends and Katherine's lone jealousy. It was something she could handle knowing she had her own friends by her side. Speaking of… "I can tell you have something you want to tell me so spill!"

Caroline's smile widened. "I do actually…"

Elena grabbed hold of her best friend and shook her. "So tell me!"

"Stefan asked me to prom!" Caroline screamed, collapsing back on the couch and dancing. Then her hands clasped over her mouth as she tried to quiet another scream and failed miserably. The sight of Caroline so overwhelmingly happy had Elena feeling guilty for the way her smile faltered. It wasn't that she wasn't happy her best friend had a date to the prom—to be honest she had cut it kind of close with the day being a few weeks away. No, it was all for purely selfish reasons.

The fact that she most likely wouldn't be going to her senior prom had just hit her at the most inopportune time.

She had her prom with Nik during her junior year. And while the dress hadn't fit her properly and her hair and makeup had been horrible, the night had been full of dancing and kissing and just pure bliss. It had been a rare happy moment amidst the horror. It was like looking at a photograph of two happy smiling faces and not knowing the full story. It was a façade drowned in the wistfulness of fairytales and romantic comedies.

This year she had planned to get it all right. The dress was hanging in her closet, her hair had already been planned out and tested repeatedly until it met her satisfaction; the same had been done with her make-up. Then she had dumped Nik (a relative good thing). That left her with two already purchased tickets that were sure to go unused. Hell would freeze over before Damon Salvatore ever joined her at prom.

But there was no way she could unload all of that on Caroline and ruin her happy moment. So, before her friend could open her eyes and sit back up, Elena plastered a genuine smile on her face and let out a little squeal of excitement. She was happy for her friend. And after missing out on some much needed girl time, she wasn't about to ruin her friends happiness by dragging her down with her own issues. The smile seemed to do the trick because once Caroline was vertical again, she wrapped her arms around Elena and squeezed hard.

By the time they both pulled back, Elena had pushed aside her own issues and was honed in on her best friend's happiness. "So how did he ask and when are we going shopping?"

Caroline made a face of disbelief. "_Please_, I already had my dress as soon as junior prom ended and the sales were on."

"I should have known." Elena shook her head and barreled on with the next question. "So, how did he ask?"

Her best friend's eyes got all dreamy, practically cartoon-like, as the promposal story began. Her and Stefan has been out to dinner a few towns over near the mall. When dinner was over Stefan had suggested they wander about the mall and the line had Caroline convinced he was husband-material. Any guy who was okay with shopping with his girl got straight A's in her book. It was only when they entered a jewelry store and Caroline walked over to a necklace that matched her prom dress perfectly that she noticed that on the place card where the price tag should be, were the words: _Caroline, will you go to prom with me?_

"How did he know that would match your dress?" Elena exclaimed, completely taken aback by Stefan's attention to detail.

At that Caroline blushed. "He called my mom and asked if I already had my prom dress picked out and if so what color and style was it."

"Who knew Steffy had it in him?"

"I did," she beamed. "He's really sweet, Elena, and _so_ romantic."

"I'm really happy for you, Care," Elena replied. She really was. Caroline deserved this. Somehow despite both her arrangement with Damon and Caroline and Stefan's relationship beginning on the same day, the two couples were on completely different paths. Caroline and Stefan were in a committed relationship, headed to prom, and publicly together. Damon and Elena, on the other hand, were in an open hooking arrangement that was hidden behind closed doors. At a fork in the road the two had taken completely different paths to reach an endgame. And it all came down to the way Caroline and Stefan had feelings for one another prior to that day whereas Elena and Damon had come out of nowhere.

And just like that, everything was different.

Elena could feel the friendship her and Damon had built up slowly breaking down and being rebuilt into something new. Like she was head architect on a project and had no idea what the blue prints said and was navigating the whole thing blindly, unsure if it would end up crumbling to pieces. These feelings for Damon were new and unfamiliar and she was still trying to figure out where they would lead her. She tried to tell herself to live in the moment and enjoy the physical but she knew from experience you didn't mix sex with feelings.

Especially now with their newly instated ground rules; Damon would be hooking up with other girls.

She looked at her best friend who was so secure of where she and Stefan stood. Caroline didn't have hidden scares of being in an emotional abusive relationship or the fears over what being in a relationship with a former player would mean. Stefan was completely loyal and the two were perfect together. Elena just had to stop comparing the two.

Somehow Damon and she had fallen into this. They were making their own rules and doing what they felt was right for them. Despite the uncertainty of their future, the whole thing felt like it was where she was supposed to be. It might be the wrong time with the wrong guy and being done the wrong way by others standards but she couldn't back away. They had everything stacked against them but when they were together they could conquer that wall. And she wanted to.

Before she could dive into the meanings behind all of that, Caroline was grabbing her hand and dragging her upstairs to take a look at the dress and the necklace. It matched perfectly as predicted and Caroline was practically giddy. She was explaining all the prom plans completely forgetting to point out the kinks in her plans, when Bonnie bounded up the stairs and collapsed on Caroline's bed.

"I'm exhausted," Bonnie muttered from beneath the arm that was draped across her face.

"Student Council run late?" Caroline questioned, placing her dress within its bag before hanging it in her closet.

With a loud groan, Bonnie replied, "Ya think?"

"What could you guys have to talk about this late in the year?" Elena questioned as Bonnie rose into a sitting position and tucked her legs under her body. Bonnie had been a member of Student Council ever since middle school. With her father being so involved in the town politics, he made sure Bonnie got a taste for it. Currently, she was their class treasurer and that meant she had to be involved in everything.

"Oh, you know, graduation, the senior banquet… prom."

At that Caroline, collapsed on the bed and sighed dreamily. "_Prom_."

Elena promptly hit her with a pillow. A healthy way of sorting through her own jealousy, naturally. "Can you hop off Cloud Nine and join us here on planet Earth for a little bit?" she teased.

"What?" Caroline teased. "It's going to be one of the most magical nights of our life."

Elena looked towards Bonnie for help since she was the most sensible and grounded of the group, but when she looked over she found Bonnie smiling wistfully out the window. It seemed both of her friends had good news to share. "What's that smile for, Bon?" Elena asked, wearing a smile of her own.

"Um," Bonnie fidgeted with the hem on her shirt. "Jamie kind of asked me to prom after the meeting."

"What!" Caroline and Elena exclaimed at the exact same time, wearing twin faces of happiness for their friend.

Jamie was President of their class and had known Bonnie for a few years. Both of them danced around their feelings for each other because Bonnie's mom had been dating Jamie's dad after the divorce. It became too awkward for either to make a move. So, instead they kept their friendship intact while Bonnie continually gushed about how hot he was and how nice and sweet and charming he acted towards her. It seemed that today Jamie had decided he was done fighting against it.

"What did you say?" Caroline questioned, grabbing hold of Bonnie's hands. Elena could already see her planning prom poses and seating arrangements.

Bonnie looked up at them both, shyly and with wide eyes. "I said yes."

All three girls erupted into screams of happiness as they collapsed back on the bed, holding each other. Elena had forgotten how much she missed this. She had been under Nik's thumb and then so caught up with Damon that she'd forgotten how much she needed her friends. In order to make sure she didn't lose this, she had to make them a priority.

"How did he ask?" Caroline questioned as the laughter quieted and they all settled on their backs, looking up at the ceiling.

"He just _did_," Bonnie answered.

"Boring! Jamie can do better than that! He could've set up a scavenger hunt or sung you a song…"

And before Caroline could list the million and one ideas that _Cosmo_ most likely posted in their latest promposal idea guide, Bonnie interrupted with a sweet and sincere, "It was perfect."

"I'm happy for you, Bon," Elena replied, clutching her friend's hand and giving it a squeeze. She really was. Despite her own jealousy over how her friends' love lives were progressing, she found it hard to focus on that in the light of Bonnie's pure happiness.

"What about you?" Bonnie asked, shedding light on the one thing Elena was trying to hide from.

"What about me?" Elena replied, coyly.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Are you coming to prom?"

Biting her lip and closing her eyes, Elena tried to think of a good way to put it without dampening her friends' happiness. She decided to stick instead to the straight answer. "No."

"Because of Damon?"

Elena finally opened her eyes and replied honestly, "Not entirely. I obviously can't go with Damon. It would be too much drama and he probably wouldn't be into it." She took a deep breath before continuing. "And I can't imagine spending the night in someone else's arms and counting the minutes till I can be back in his."

"So, it is because of him."

"Bonnie," Elena warned. "I choose him and this."

Her friend gave her a look that showed just how much she was disappointed. But before she could dwell too much on that fact and possibly argue with her, Caroline swooped in with her overwhelming optimism.

"He could be planning something big to ask you and you could have no idea! Stefan and him share blood. There has to be some romance in there."

"Maybe."

Though she really, seriously doubted it.

* * *

"Damon!" Elena cried as she pulled Damon to her and brought his naked chest against her own. No one would ever believe that he had given her multiple orgasms behind a Piggly Wiggly of all places. With what he had planned - or rather hoped for - they needed some place secluded and while the Falls offered a semblance of privacy, too many people knew about it. The Falls were more romantic, but they had somehow ended up here. He just hoped she wouldn't mind.

"How do you do that?" she questioned, peppering his face with kisses before bringing her tongue along the length of his jaw. He could just imagine what her tongue would feel like taking him, rolling around the length of him and flicking the top. With that on his mind and her hand drifting south between their bodies, he had never been more thankful to not be wearing pants. The idea of waiting those few agonizing seconds being this hard while she unzipped and tugged and maneuvered were not what he needed right now. He needed release.

He had made tonight all about her. Had practically worshipped her body the way it deserved. She had tried to change the game and touch him but he wasn't having it. As much as he wanted to feel her hands on him, have her mouth take him in, if he wanted to take this to the next level, he needed her in a good mood. And she was in a blissed out grateful one with the way she was jerking him off.

With all the ways he had kissed and sucked and licked her, he had her crying out his name and clutching at him with legs wrapped around him like a vice. She was panting and needy and couldn't get her hands off him and he was loving every fucking second of it.

Just as he could feel the tension staring to build up, he pulled out of her grip and began kissing between her breasts down to her navel. Her hips were already bucking up towards him as his hand danced along her thighs. "Why did you make me stop?" she panted.

"Because," he mumbled, letting the word get lost against her skin.

"Because why?" she asked, sitting up and pulling his face to hers. Elena kissed him hard and he succumbed to it. He was absolute putty in her hands and knew he would do anything for her. That just meant he had to hope she wanted to….

"Because I want you," he blurted out.

"You have me," she whispered, biting his lip. God, he loved when she did that. It drove him wild. He imagined her teeth grazing against him, her bite marking his shoulder. The images ran through him and he fought against laying her back down and sliding right into her. Being so close to her meant all he had to do was maneuver a bit and thrust up and he would be in. He would be home.

Of course, since he wasn't sure where she stood on the whole issue, he couldn't just steal home and pray the catcher let him slide. Though the catcher in question seemed pretty intent on driving him crazy with her mouth against his neck and her slickness grinding against him driving him even more mad.

"So, uh, you're having fun, right?" he rushed out. "I haven't been rushing you?"

Elena shook her head, humming "nuh uh" against his neck. "So much fun," she punctuated each word with a kiss.

"So…." he said, letting the rest of the question hang in the air.

She pulled back with a smile on her face and humor dancing in her eyes. Elena was on to him. Not that he was being that subtle. "Are you trying to get it in?"

"Maybe."

"Is that what all those orgasms were about?" she teased. "Were those please-sleep-with-me orgasms?"

He leaned forward and kissed along the length of her neck. "Tell me you don't want to."

Elena's head fell back as a moan slipped from her lips. Her heavy breathing pressed her breasts against him with each and every delicious inhale. The teasing was in the past and suddenly his mind was solely focused on one task: having sex with Elena Gilbert.

"I want to," she breathed, all husky and throaty and hot as hell.

He didn't hesitate a second. With expertise, he reached over to his discarded jeans and pulled a condom from his pocket. With his mouth never leaving her neck, he slipped it on and positioned himself between her already spread thighs. "Are you sure?" he whispered, pulling back from her neck to look her directly in her dark brown eyes.

Elena's lip slipped between her teeth as she nodded and leaned forward to press her lips against his. At the touch of their lips, Damon pushed inside, slowly, enjoying inch after glorious inch as he entered her. A moan from Elena deepened their kiss and soon they were a mess of limbs and kisses. Her nails dug into his back and ass, urging him harder and deeper and he obliged, needing those cries and moans from her.

The feeling was impossible to describe as Elena met him thrust for thrust and angled her hips, spurring on her own pleasure. He never wanted it to end and yet he could feel the tension building up inside of him, his crave for release. He slowed his movements, eased himself in and out of her, hitching her leg over his.

"Let me on top," she breathed, already pushing their bodies.

He flipped them over, remaining careful of her head so it didn't hit the hood of the car. Once they were situated with her straddled over him, her hands firmly pressed against his chest. She moved over him and the sight of her naked above him, breasts bouncing with movement, mouth parted and beads of sweat glistening her skin, was almost enough to make him come right then.

But he couldn't. Not until she was right there with him. So he focused on moving with her, on bringing his hands up to cup her breasts. When she started to cry out his name, he brought his mouth up to her to swallow it and connect with her in every way possible. Damon was feeling everything, lost in her, buried in her. He grew frenzied as she quickened her movements and the sway and movement of her hips against him was addicting.

"It's never been like this," he mumbled against her mouth. They were no longer kissing, but rather pressing lips and sharing breath. They breathed and moved as one and his hands mesmerized every curve on her body, every muscle taut under her skin. They were two souls merged into one flesh.

And when he could tell that she was about to fall, he tumbled along with her. It was the singular most erotic experience of his life. When they resurfaced together, they joined in a kiss with him still inside of her and he wasn't sure how long they stayed like that.

Things with Elena were messy and complicated. He never struggled at just hooking up, he always excelled at it, but with her he found himself unsure. He constantly balanced the knowledge that there was something more here and the reality that he didn't want to lose her. Having sex with her only drove both those points home.

If he wasn't careful he would lose it all.

But how did he hook up with other women and distance himself from what he was feeling, to keep her? How did that logically make sense? Elena moved off of him and after disposing the condom, Damon took her back against his chest and laid with her. His thoughts were swirling in a way they never had after sex. At a time when his mind replayed every image and touch and feeling, he was honed in on the fact that in order to keep Elena, he was going to have to distance himself.

His hands ran through her hair, trying to lengthen this moment. He didn't want to step back into reality, to where another man could be this intimate with her. To where he'd have to be with another girl. It was just all so screwed up. But if he didn't, his jealousy would ruin everything. His feelings would reveal themselves before they were ready.

Then Elena spoke; rapid and quick and meshed together.

"I know this is a stupid question and I already know the answer, but I'll hate myself if I don't ask anyway."

Damon continued to run his fingers through her hair. "What is it?"

"You wouldn't come to prom with me, right?"

The question came at him from left field. The last thing he expected to come from her mouth was a question about a stupid high school dance. They were so far removed from it all, doing what they had just done. His mind was now swirling over the realization of how it had been better with her than with anyone he ever had been with before and he had told her as much. Was that why her mind was on something couples do while his were racing with thoughts of other women? Could he have been reading this all wrong? Could Elena possibly be ready for more?

There was insecurity in her tone that he hadn't heard from her since before that horrible day when Nik was trying to break through her bathroom door. Despite not wanting to scare her off and never wanting to hear that tone aimed at him, he knew he had to be honest with her.

"No," he said. "It would cause too much drama."

She nodded. More to herself than to let him know she had heard him. "I thought so."

"Why? Did you want to go?"

Elena snuggled closer to him. "Kind of. But I agree that it would cause too much drama."

"You could always go with someone else. Ric and Mason could take you." Just saying the words filled his body with dread. When he had started this whole thing, he had told himself he could just keep having fun and not get serious. Yet each time he was with Elena he found himself falling further into the abyss. He'd thought she wasn't ready; that she was probably talking to other guys besides him. Now he wasn't so sure. He felt like the stereotypical chick in their little scenario trying to figure out what was going on in the aloof guy's head.

Thankfully, Elena answered quickly. "No. I wouldn't want to do that."

He could hear the regret in her voice and yet he couldn't make himself take her to prom when he knew all the drama that would ensue. Just the two of them walking into that ballroom would step up Andie and Katherine's torture towards Elena. And that was the last thing he wanted.

Though he had an idea to make it up to her. And it would help him test out the waters a bit. "What if we go out on prom night?"

Elena twisted towards him. "What?"

"We'll go out on a date."

"You and me?" He nodded. "Are you sure?"

"It's the least I could do. Spend the night with me. We'll go out to dinner, watch a movie at your house, and then you can head down to prom weekend with Caroline and Bonnie. You're going to that right?"

"Yeah, but—"

"But nothing. If we do something then you'll have your own story to tell while Caroline and Bonnie yap about prom."

"I don't know…" she began. "Won't that complicate things? We're friends who fuck, Damon. Dating will muddy everything."

He masked the hurt on his face in an instance. Her questions about prom hadn't meant a deeper feeling for him. Their rules reared their ugly head once again and he knew he had to do the last thing he wanted. He couldn't let Elena be his one and only when he wasn't hers. So, he let the words roll off him, masking the truth of what he was feeling.

"We set the ground rules. We know where we stand with each other. No taking the next step until we're ready. I'm just promising you a fun night with yours truly."

"No strings?" she asked warily, though not as insecure as she had been. Despite the fumble in his theory, he did want to take her out on a date since she wouldn't be going to prom. And now he could tell he was wearing her down. She was giving in to the idea.

Pressing up against her and kissing the spot below her ear, letting her whole body pebble with gooseflesh, he said, "Well, that all depends… Do you put out on the first date?"

Elena's frown broke out into a smile as she laughed and smacked his arm. "Damon!"

"It's an honest question. I might have to rethink this whole thing," he teased.

"We'll have to wait and see," she teased right back, skimming her fingers along his abs.

Got her. "So it's a date then?"

"It's a date."


	10. Chapter 9:Never Let Go Till We're Gone

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A huge mega thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and beta'ing this chapter just hours before jetting off on an amazing vacation. She's the best. Seriously. You should give her story Claiming Heart and Spaces a read and shower her with reviews xx**

* * *

_June 7__th__, 2007…_

* * *

_You both look beautiful! Have a great time!_

Elena sent the text after seeing the photo of her two best friends dressed beautifully as they headed off to prom. Bonnie was draped in a midnight blue dress that layered around her tiny frame and her ebony hair cascaded down her back, falling over her shoulders in effortless waves. Jamie was holding her tightly and couldn't seem to keep his eyes off her long enough to look at the camera. In comparison, Caroline was in an all-white gown that fanned out at the bottom and made her look like a mermaid. The webbing of the dress was encrusted with crystals and weaved around her like netting. She definitely looked like a catch and with Stefan on her arm, beaming proudly, she knew he thought so too.

As she fell back on her bed, she turned to look at her own prom dress hanging on her closet door. It was a swirl of purple and pink that wrapped around her chest as it fanned out over her hips. She remembered trying it on a few months ago and thinking about how beautiful she felt. Back then she was imagining Nik's reaction when he came to her door but now her mind was wondering what Damon would think.

It played in her mind so perfectly. Damon would be dressed in an elegant black tux that made those bright blue eyes of his pop. His hair would be in its usual disarray because there would be no taming it, especially when his hands would continually run through the black strands as his nerves got the best of him. He would be fidgeting as he waited for her to appear and when she did, the calm would take over. They would look at each other and the nerves would disappear. Hours of fretting over how she would look and what he would think would melt away into this moment. They would meet in the middle of her living room and he would kiss her cheek and tell her how beautiful she was and she would run her hands along his lapels and comment on how devastatingly handsome he looked.

All of it went so easily in her head, that she forgot about her player of a suitor and the drama that would unfold after the fairytale broke its spell.

Her phone vibrated with a text from Caroline: _Wish you were here!_

Quickly, so as not to dwell on the fact that she wished she was to, she sent back: _See you tonight! Can't wait to hear all about it! xx_

Then she placed her phone beside her and stared at the ceiling waiting for Damon to call. She had spent the better part of the afternoon agonizing over what to wear and how to do her hair. They were only doing dinner at a nice place and a quick movie at her place afterwards. It didn't warrant a fancy dress but she still wanted to look nice and make a good impression. This was still a first date, even if they were best friends and had already seen each other naked.

Elena had decided on a simple floral dress that she had paired with a jean jacket and sandals. Her hair had been set in soft waves and her makeup simple, yet done to accentuate the bow of her lips and the brightness of her eyes. Waiting for Damon had left her mind ablaze with thoughts and what if's and it was driving her crazy. She agonized over whether she and Damon were truly screwing up an amazing friendship with all these benefits and what would've happened if that night they first met had gone differently. She and Damon hadn't had a real meaningful conversation in what felt like ages and she missed it.

It was something she was hoping could be fixed tonight.

Still, being friends with benefits had never worked out for a single person she knew. The benefits ruined the friendship or the whole thing went up in flames. Someone always went into it or left the set up with feelings and the whole arrangement just broke them. Even though she could feel something shifting within her when she looked at Damon, she wasn't sure if that shift was romantic yet. Elena had a hard time wrapping her head around Damon being with someone else even though it had been her who had told him it was okay. Did that mean she was jealous? Hurt? Falling for him? Everything was just too confusing.

How did you every figure out your own feelings when you were scared of what they meant?

Just as she was about to bang her head against a wall and contemplate changing her outfit, her phone alerted her to a text message from Damon.

_I'm outside._

She shook her body to loosen up her nerves. They had hung out before. There was nothing to be nervous about. She could do this.

* * *

Elena was stunning.

There was no other way to describe her. When she had hopped into the cab of Damon' car—something she had done a hundred times before—she had wowed him. Stopped his heart, stuttered his speech, caught his attention. Naturally, he had followed her body with his eyes, full voluminous hair to coral painted toe. The pure shock over how beautiful she looked rendered him speechless and had him regretting the fact that he had stayed in his car and merely texted her to let her know he was here. Then again, the sight of her walking towards his car, head bent and smiling to herself was worth his ungentlemanly behavior. While her eyes stayed trained on her feet, his were solely focused on every single part of her.

Her dress flowed in the light breeze as she skipped over the last two steps of her walkway. That's when she finally looked up at him and gave him a smile that made him clutch his heart. She took it as a joke and laughter bubbled from her lips, widening her smile. She was a heartbreaker.

And he was the luckiest fucking guy alive.

Damon honestly did feel bad that he couldn't take her to prom. A few times since she had broached the topic, he almost caved and said fuck it. The girl deserved to have a stunning night and it was her association with him that was screwing it all up for her. He had spent the better part of the day scrolling past the endless prom day posts and looking at Elena's own photos from last year. One photo in particular caught his attention.

It was a photo of him and Elena from last year. They were out on the dance floor and it was clearly later in the night. A light sheen of sweat covered them both and his tux jacket was discarded. Her hair was up and showed the length of her neck and on that neck was a men's tie, Nik's most likely. What had him so focused was the fact that they both were beaming. He had his arms wrapped around her and she was leaned into him and he had to remind himself that they both had come to that Prom with other dates and had left with those same people.

The night hadn't been filled with longing looks or side-long glances. They both had been in happier places of their relationships then. Yet looking at that photo Damon couldn't help but wonder what the night would've been like if Elena had been his date. What would tonight have been like?

Those thoughts had weighed him down. But now? Seeing her smiling at him and looking as radiant as she was, he was happy he didn't have to share her with a banquet hall full of people. Instead, he got to be in this moment with her. Not focused on the what if's of the past. Finally, having the date they should have had years ago.

Granted, it hadn't exactly happened the way he had imagined. He expected to imagine what she looked like under her clothing, picture what kind of underwear and bra were covering her up. He hadn't expected to have vivid images of it. The sight of Elena moving over him, her hips doing wicked things to him, was not something his mind was likely to ever forget.

It was just happening at a very inopportune time.

Like when he's trying to take her on a date and not lure her into his backseat the moment she gets in the car.

"What are you looking at?" she asked as her seat belt clicked into place and he still hadn't said a word.

He gave her a little smirk. "You look beautiful."

A blush colored her cheeks and she shyly looked away from him. "You look pretty handsome yourself."

Damon looked no different than usual; dark jeans, black button up, messy hair. The only difference was the openness of his eyes and the hope in his expression. He just wanted tonight to go amazing. "Ready?"

"If you are."

Fuck, was he ever.

He got them to the restaurant quickly enough. On the ride over Elena told him all about the photos she saw of Bonnie and Caroline and how despite everything she was really happy to be spending the night with him. When he caught the slight sadness in her voice, he told her about how nervous Stefan had been and how he had only made it worse by joking that he had switched his favorite shampoo with Nair. Elena tried to scold him through her laughter but it didn't stick.

"I can't believe you did that!" she stated, shaking her head.

Damon replied, "It was hilarious. He was refusing to shower. Then he was blaming me for running late even though he still had three hours."

"You know it takes him a while to style his hair."

He let out a laugh, prompting her to join him. "That only makes the joke that much better."

Elena turned away from him but he still caught sight of her smile. "You're horrible."

"You love it," he winked.

And despite a light laughter she didn't add to it. He thought he had ruined the whole night with his flippant comment, but when they entered the restaurant the moment seemed all but forgotten. Elena was back to her bubbly self and commenting on how beautiful the Italian restaurant was.

Damon had decided on a quaint little restaurant a few towns over. He wanted the whole night to be about them. That meant no running into anyone they knew and scaring Elena back into her shell. Judging by her reactions, she didn't mind. They were both uncharacteristically awkward around each other. From speaking at the same time to hiding behind menu's, it was as if they hadn't been best friends for years.

They both ordered eggplant parmesan and as they waited to be served they talked about everything. Conversation didn't flow easily right away. They stumbled their way through it. Somewhere along the way after talking about family and college, they found their way and rediscovered something that had been lost these past few weeks.

The night was moving so quickly. It was long after dinner had been served and eaten and he didn't want the night to end. He would have to go a whole weekend without her and he didn't want to lose what was starting right here at this very table.

Connection and chemistry were something he always knew they had. He knew it the moment he saw her and felt that need to know her. When he took the time to talk to her, the friendship happened instantly. And now, after all of the kissing and sex they had been having, they'd still found their way back to that place. The fact that both of those sides of their relationship could co-exist at once is what he'd been hoping for. It made him desperate to kiss her again.

He paid the bill, much to Elena's disagreement as she wanted to split it. Damon practically had to drag her out of there to make sure she didn't leave a tip. Elena kept thanking him for dinner and for a great night and he finally had to press her against the car and kiss her to shut her up.

"Do we have time?" he whispered, pulling back just enough to breathe the words against her lips.

She shook her head, rubbing her nose against his. "We have time."

They hopped in the car and he drove them to a secluded park he knew of. The moment the car slid into park, she was on him. Her mouth was heaven against his and he had to remind himself that there wasn't a lot of room for what he had in mind in the front seat of his Camaro.

"Let's hop in the back," he mumbled as he eased his seat belt off.

Elena giggled against him. "Do you think we'll ever have sex in a bed?"

"If I have anything to say about," he winked. "I'll get you the biggest bed you want. Bigger than a California King if you want."

"A blow-up mattress would be good enough," she joked.

They slid in the back seat and Elena straddled him, bringing her mouth down on his and running her hands down his arms. He was struck silent as his hands danced along her bare thighs and slid under her dress to meet bare skin. As his hand slid between her folds and was met with wetness, he suddenly found his voice. "You've been commando this whole time?"

"I took my underwear off when I went to the restroom."

He remembered her heading to the restroom just before dessert. The thought of her completely naked beneath her dress while he talked about taking her to a football game and she licked ice cream off her spoon had him instantly hard. He was in desperate need of friction. "You're killing me, Gilbert. _Killing_ me."

"I'm going to need you to stay alive for this," she breathed as her hands slipped low to his hips and she began unbuckling his jeans. He had never been more pissed at a pair of button-fly jeans in his life. Yet Elena seemed unfazed. Her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she slipped each of the four buttons free.

She grabbed hold of him and massaged him with her hand until he couldn't take it any longer. He kissed her with everything he had, pouring every bit of frustration into it. He needed her, desperately and she was loving every minute of it. She smiled against his mouth and teased him. Elena maneuvered herself so that he was just at her entrance. She coated him with her wetness until finally she moved over him and he pushed himself inside.

Then everything shifted.

Their eyes seemed to meet in that moment and suddenly it wasn't about teasing and chasing that climax. It was about being at one with this beautiful woman on top of him. Her hips angled and moved over him in slow circular motions. His hands stayed pressed against her thigh and back as her hands dug into his shoulders. Their heads stayed bent towards each other, meeting only kisses and share breaths.

With their slow, agonizing movements and the heavy breathing, it didn't take look before the windows fogged up and their bodies glistened with sweat. Elena was breathless, shaking over him, telling him how much she needed him and how amazing it all felt.

Then she was telling him she needed him harder and he delivered. Elena's hands shot out behind him meeting the glass and leaving two handprints on his back window. Her cries filled the car as he pushed into her over and over again, his hands clutching and never wanting to let her go.

As he sped up to meet her and they spiraled together, he was met with a startling realization of why this time felt so different.

It was because they were making love.

And looking into her eyes, he knew she was feeling it too.

When they were finished, they stayed tangled together before time caught up with them. He kissed her long and hard before they separated and he drove her home. He stayed for a while at her house before Mason and Ric texted him and he had to leave to help them out. She met him outside and kissed her one last time for the night and when he watched her head back inside, he was overwhelmed with fear and guilt.

This was the last thing he had expected to happen tonight. And it made him realize that he had really screwed it all up.

* * *

Elena loaded up her car and kissed her parents goodbye. Caroline and Bonnie were waiting for her to pick them up and head to the beach for Prom Weekend. The three girls had a hotel room all to themselves and three days' worth of sun and fun to get to. Since Elena wasn't going to prom, it had been up to her to make sure they had plenty of food to snack on and that everything was all set for when they arrived that night.

So far it was looking like it was going to be an amazing weekend.

The only downside was that Damon wouldn't be going.

Thankfully he had given her the most amazing send-off. Their first date had been full of nervous energy but they had somehow found their footing. It just wasn't something they were used to. They didn't get dressed up for each other or go out for fancy dinners. They definitely didn't hold hands or practically cuddle on the couch. They had been friends for such a long time, had seen each other in serious relationships and then hooked up. This was a step they hadn't taken.

And she was kind of loving it.

They seemed to fit together so seamlessly once the nerves dissipated. Conversation flowed easily and the chemistry was burning hot. How had she never noticed it all before? And what did she do now that it was all she could think about?

As far as she knew Damon hadn't been with anyone else and she hadn't either. Their days and nights had been spent together and when they weren't together they're texting each other. They were practically committed so why not make that final step? She was almost done with school and maybe once she walked across that stage they could make it official. It was an idea anyway. It was something to explain these confusing feelings she was having.

Before she could think ahead and wonder any further, the blonde tornado of happiness that was Caroline was racing towards her car and hopping into the front seat. Suddenly Elena was enveloped in a hug and blinded by blonde curls. "I missed you so much!" Caroline stated, squeezing her for emphasis.

"I missed you too, Care!" Elena replied, squeezing back just as hard. "How was it?"

Caroline released her and eased back into her seat, throwing her duffle behind her. Elena eased the car out of Caroline's driveway and headed towards Bonnie's house only a few blocks away. "They got the centerpieces all wrong and the DJ was just okay but oh my God, Elena, it was amazing. Magical even."

Elena let out a laugh. Only Caroline would be focused on party planning in the midst of a night out with her boyfriend. "So did you have fun?"

"Of course! Missing you naturally, but it was a blast, 'Lena."

"And Stefan?" Elena probed.

Caroline sighed dreamily and practically melted into puddle right in the passenger seat. "He was so romantic. He held open doors for me and stood when I did and held my hand. We just danced the night away and made out in the coat closet."

"There's my girl."

Caroline flipped her curls over her shoulder, leaving it bare, and said, "I may be a romantic sap but that doesn't mean I don't like to make out with my boyfriend. I just don't like to do it in public and in front of the guy's brother like you do."

Rolling her eyes, Elena replied, "That was _one_ time and it's not like I planned it!"

"Yeah, yeah. That was just my not so subtle way of bringing up Damon so I could ask how the date went." There was a note of anxiety in her question; something that told Elena that her best friend was hiding something. It was just a matter of what. She decided to just answer the question and feel her way through it.

"It was great. Surprisingly. Started off bumpy and awkward but I don't know, Care. I don't think this is just for fun anymore. There's something more there."

Caroline was unusually quiet and even though she was smiling it didn't reach its usual brilliance. Something was definitely up. The only time Caroline didn't engage in boy talk was when she was worried about saying something. And with Damon Salvatore it could be anything.

"Care, what's going on?"

With a sigh, Caroline said, "Just get Bonnie. She'll explain it."

Biting back her anxiety, Elena focused on getting to Bonnie's. When they pulled up to the driveway, Bonnie was already waiting on her porch with her bags in hand. She raced towards the car and threw them in the backseat before climbing in beside them. "That was such an amazing night! I'm so sad you missed it."

"What happened?" Elena blurted out, her worry getting the best of her. "Caroline got quiet when I said how great my date was. I know it involves him and she said it involves you, so spill."

Bonnie spared a quick look towards Caroline before sighing and plowing through. "It's Katherine."

Elena twisted around in her seat and steeled herself for the bad news. It was inevitable. She had tried to keep her heart protected, put walls and boundaries around her arrangement with Damon. Yet somehow he had weaseled through them and now she was being reminded of why she had them in the first place. "What about her?"

Bonnie looked town at her clasped hands that were rested on her knees. "Katherine and Damon have been hooking up."


	11. Chapter 10: Weekend Warriors

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: I know! I know! This chapter took forever! I had job interviews and my last TVD convention to blame so hopefully you can forgive me because you're going to hate me all over again when you reach the end of this chapter…**

**Huge thank yous go to my amazing beta and proofreader! If you haven't already I suggest you read Claiming Hearts and Spaces by Morgan (morvamp) because it's officially finished and it's completely wrecked my soul with its perfection. I don't know how she does it! xx**

* * *

Shock. There was no other word to describe what she was feeling as Bonnie's words hit her. She couldn't believe it. The Damon she was with tonight wouldn't do that, wouldn't hook up with Katherine _again_ of all people. He couldn't possibly disrespect her that much. Especially when they hadn't gone a day without each other. That would mean he'd been doubling up. Was that even possible?

In a last ditch effort to settle her building anxiety and out of respect for what she was feeling, Elena reasoned, "She's lying. She has to be."

"She's not, Elena," Caroline said, placing a sympathetic hand on her arm.

It was Bonnie who drove the point home and shattered any hopes of a future with Damon.

"I saw the text messages, Elena. Pictures. I even double checked the number to make sure they weren't fake. He was meeting up with her when you had to go home or after school. He's been lying to you this whole time."

It was all true. Bonnie had made sure of it before. There wasn't a single shred of hope to cling to, a state of denial to stand in. Damon had been hooking up with Katherine — the one person making her life at school a living hell — and doing it on days he was with her. The player she had once thought was long gone was back with a backstabbing vengeance. Though backstabbing was probably not the right word. It wasn't painful enough. Each sentence Bonnie said was like a dagger right to the heart.

"I can't believe he would hook up with her," Elena breathed, her eyes straight ahead and her mind a million miles away. She thought back on every jab Katherine had been throwing at her since that fight in the cafeteria. Katherine had turned everyone against her, tried to trip her and badmouthed her as she tried to make it through a school day. She did all of this with the knowledge that she was hooking up with Damon, too.

Katherine Pierce may have been jealous that Damon was hooking up with Elena, but it wasn't because she wanted him, too. It was because she wanted him all to herself.

And at this point, she could fucking have him.

"This is such bullshit," Elena stated, more firmly. The truth that she was being forced to deal with still felt like a pierce in the heart but it was also somehow filling her up with this freedom and absolute indifference. She hadn't asked Damon to be faithful to her, hadn't asked him to only be with her. There was only one thing she asked of him as a friend—not to double up his hookups. And he had broken that one rule in the worst way possible. It made backing away from their arrangement and her ultimate feelings a whole lot easier.

"Just screw him, Elena," Caroline stated. "Well, don't _actually_ screw him because he doesn't deserve that anymore, but you know what I mean."

Elena slammed her hands on the steering wheel and put the car in drive and started heading down to the beach. She wanted as much distance between her and Damon as possible before she did something stupid like go to his house and beat the crap out of him.

"Do you want me to drive?" Bonnie asked, warily.

Shaking her head, Elena said, "No. I'm okay. Well, I'm not. But driving is keeping me calm."

"As long as that calm doesn't drive us off a bridge."

"It won't. Just get my mind off it." She released a sigh, letting the stress and anger roll of her back. It could be put on hold for now. This weekend could be used to put it out of her mind and figure out what she wanted to do about it after. For now, she had a weekend of fun planned with her girls and the last thing she needed was more drama to ruin it. "Tell me how prom went."

One shared glance between Bonnie and Caroline was all that was needed before they both launched into stories of all the fun she had missed.

* * *

The mood in the car was much different when they pulled up to the hotel. The girls were laughing, music was blasting, and they were all having a great time. The hour long drive had been filled with stories as Bonnie and Caroline both gushed about prom. Caroline's version was a fairytale; filled with stolen kisses and spending the whole night on the dance floor in Stefan's arms. Bonnie's night, while filled with dancing, had been peppered not with kisses but deep conversation. Jamie and her talked about everything and really connected; and while they had held hands and touched all night, he hadn't kissed her until the very end of the night when he dropped her off.

When every detail had been dissected and properly gushed about, Caroline pulled out a CD from her purse and the rest of the drive had been spent singing out-of-tune to their favorite songs and show tunes until they finally pulled up to their hotel on the boardwalk. All three girls exited the car with smiles on their faces as they grabbed their bags and the cooler and headed to check in.

Despite the way the drive had started—filled with anger towards Damon—the thoughts had happily been left behind in Mystic Falls. Damon hadn't texted her, for which she was thankful, and she preferred he kept it that way. She wasn't sure if Katherine was going to be at prom weekend but maybe the two of them were off somewhere together. Maybe that was the real reason for his quick departure during their movie. Elena would never know and she wasn't about to spend her mini-vacation wondering about it.

With her girls by her side and her worries way back in her hometown, she knew this weekend was going to be amazing.

What she hadn't expected was him.

* * *

"You better hurry up, little bro, or you'll be late for prom weekend," Damon sang.

Stefan rolled his eyes as he shut the trunk of his red speeder. When Stefan had texted him during his date with Elena, he had no other choice but to leave. His little brother needed him and as much as he hated running out on Elena like that, family came first. Stefan had managed to get himself into a brawl with an old boyfriend of Caroline's after dropping her off. Damon rushed out of Elena's house and helped out his brother. The whole situation mellowed out pretty easily when he showed up.

Needless to say, Tyler Lockwood wouldn't be bothering his baby brother any time soon.

He had wanted to text Elena and apologize, but he didn't want to come of too clingy. Instead, he helped his brother pack up his things and gave him some shit before he hightailed it out of there.

"Last chance to tag along and follow Elena around like a lost puppy."

Damon shook his head and gave a solid punch to Stefan's right shoulder. "Says the guy who's riding down solo just to follow his girlfriend."

"At least I made it official," Stefan jibed. "Speaking of which, when are you taking the leap with Elena?"

"You really want to be having heart to hearts on the woes of my dating life right now?"

Stefan's mocking smile turned serious as he nodded. "Yeah. Why not?"

Damon gave a sigh and leaned against his brother's car. The trunk was slammed now and his brother came around to lean beside him. The truth was after everything that happened tonight he had wanted to come right out and lay it all out there and say screw the consequences. He just didn't want to ruin the moment. It had all been so perfect and she had brought out something inside of him he had never felt before. How could he ruin that by asking if she would be his girlfriend?

"I don't know, Stef. It's getting harder not to just take the jump and ask her. But then I hear a story about what Andie or Kat did to her in school and I stop myself. It'll only make things worse. She's only got a few weeks left. We can wait a few weeks."

Stefan crossed his arms over his body and seemed to be studying his feet. This relationship was supposed to work the other way around - with Damon being the beacon of advice to his baby brother. But in a lot of ways Stefan was the mature one.

"I think if you keep letting other people dictate when you can be with someone, you're never going to be with them. There's always going to be obstacles. You just need to be with someone worth overcoming them with."

And that was why Stefan was the mature one.

"And what kind of obstacles do you and Blondie have?"

Stefan let out a bark of a laugh. "Do you not remember having to stare down Tyler Lockwood and his cronies?" His arms fell to his sides and his hands slid into his pockets as he kicked the toe of his boot into the gravel. "With the exception of an ex-boyfriend, we may not have many obstacles, but I'm sure we will at some point. Everyone has them. But I'm willing to fight for us and fight for her."

"How did you get so _old _and wise?"

His brother gave him a slap on the shoulder. "You'll figure it out. In the meantime…"

"I'll talk to Elena when she gets back."

With a sigh, Stefan said, "Forever the procrastinator. I, on the other hand, have some place to be and I don't feel like waiting much longer."

The two embraced in a hug and Damon whispered, "Have fun and wear a condom!" as his brother got in his car. The look on Stefan's face was precisely what he had been aiming for and with a hearty laugh; he shut his brother's door. With a wave, he watched his brother back out of the driveway and disappear from his view.

He knew he had to talk to Elena and take this thing to the next step. At the least, she deserved to know where he stood. He just didn't want to ruin her weekend. So he decided to wait until she got back. It could wait a few days.

What could possibly happen in a few days?

* * *

When the girls approached the front desk, big smiles and full of laughter, what they hadn't expected was the sight in front of them. Stefan and Jaime and a few of their friends were crowded around the desk and Stefan was deep in conversation with a man whose back was to them. From the looks of it, the conversation was more of an argument as Stefan was in the man's face and his body was ridged with tension. When the bell hanging on the door alerted the room of the girl's presence, all eyes immediately fell on Elena. Stefan's eyes were full of worry as the man in front of him turned around.

Suddenly, Elena was face to face with the last person she expected to see.

Nik.

Memories of their year long relationship flashed like photographs across her eyes. Fighting matches that were so close to becoming physical, all the times he put her down and told her she wasn't as pretty as her friends and every time he convinced her to be with him instead of out with her friends. All his manipulation and abuse culminating into one final moment of him banging down her bathroom door, spitting out splinters of wood until finally it all stopped and the reality of her situation came crashing down on her.

She had finally escaped him and lost herself in Damon. The last thing she had expected was for him to show up here.

"What are you doing here, Nik?" Elena managed out, though every fiber in her being was begging for her to run. She was crawling back into her shell, fighting against the flight response and begging her body to fight.

His eyes raked over her body until they met hers. It was only then that he spoke. He gave no hint of whether or not he approved of how she looked and Elena hated herself for caring. She suddenly felt self-conscious and inferior and it pulled her back from every step forward in her own self-worth that she had managed since leaving him.

"Did you forget that none of you are over eighteen? You kind of need me to check in."

Elena's eyes widened. She had completely forgotten the whole reason her friends had these rooms to begin with. It had been Nik who had booked the two rooms; one with two twin beds and one with a queen. The queen bed had been meant for them, but judging by his friend, Kol, beside him, the two of them would be taking the room.

"I forgot."

"I thought you did."

The silence stretched between them, suffocating her. She hated feeling like this, like she was slowly reverting back into who she was with him. The way he said that single phrase resembled a parent scolding a child and it reminded her that it's how he'd always made her feel. Like she was wrong. Always, always wrong.

Thankfully, Caroline piped up beside her and stopped her from falling back into old habits. She had been moments from apologizing and thanking him. "You're not planning on staying here, are you?"

Nik's eyes finally moved from Elena to someone else. It was like finally being able to breathe. Elena didn't have the weight of that gaze on her, judging her and having her wanting to be worthy. She hated feeling this way. It seemed that she hadn't exactly come as far as she thought. She had simply lost herself in someone else.

Someone—who it seemed now—wasn't worthy.

"I didn't take an hour drive at two in the morning just for kicks. I'd might as well enjoy the weekend."

Caroline marched past him to the front desk where the manager stood looking bored. "Please tell me his room is nowhere near ours."

The manager, an elderly man in his late sixties, looked down at the booking and in a bored voice said, "Are you the twin beds in this booking?" Caroline nodded and he continued. "You're room is three floors below theirs."

"Thank God!" Caroline breathed. She snatched the key from the manager, who had snagged it from its hook while talking. With a quick turn towards Nik and fire in her eyes, she pointed a finger into his chest and said, "You stay the hell away from Elena. You hear me? You forget she even exists this weekend."

Bonnie, who had remained quiet during the whole ordeal, stepped in front of Elena and glared at Nik. "Just listen to her, Nik. Don't ruin this weekend for us. You've done enough."

Elena couldn't find words. She just wanted to break down from the amount of stress coursing through her. Between what was going on with Damon and now having Nik here, she just wanted to scream or cry or some combination of them both.

Still, she watched as Caroline gave one last pointed glare before she grabbed Stefan's hand and pulled him towards them. Bonnie grabbed hold of Elena and led her towards the elevators and the whole room seemed to follow.

"Are you near us?" she heard Caroline ask.

There was silence, followed by some shuffling, until Stefan said, "Right next door actually."

"Good."

As they entered the elevators and Stefan and Caroline stood in the front as all their friends entered, Stefan mumbled, "Should I tell Damon?"

And that was when Elena found her voice. "No. Damon doesn't get to know what's going on in my personal life. He didn't care to share what was going on in his."

Stefan twisted to face her before addressing to both her friends, "I'm missing something, aren't I?"

"Yup," Caroline answered. "Don't ask. Your brother is on my shit list right now."

"I told him not to procrastinate," he mumbled to himself.

"What?" Elena questioned.

"Nothing."

And she couldn't get any more out of Stefan because just when she was about to ask, the elevator dinged and they all went to their respective rooms. Caroline spent a few minutes outside with Stefan while Bonnie and Elena got settled. The two girls decided to share a bed and let Caroline have her own just in case Stefan decided to join one night.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

Elena shook her head. "Not really. I'm too wired to sleep right now."

"You want to head to the beach? We can try to stay up for the sunrise."

With a nod of agreement, they headed out of the room and asked Caroline and Stefan to tag along. As they crossed the boardwalk and headed to the beach they began to catch the beginnings of the sunrise lighting up the sky. They all took a seat on the sand, with Caroline nestled between Stefan's legs, and just waited.

They spent the time talking; each one of them talking about everything but Nik's arrival and Damon's betrayal. As she watched the dawns ray's chase away the night, Elena could think of nothing but. This night had gone from amazing and perfect to downright awful. With it finally coming to an end, promising the beginning of a new day, she found herself focusing not on the drama but on the people around her.

She couldn't let a boy - or two for that matter - ruin this last getaway with her friends as high-schoolers. Before she knew it they would be graduated and headed for college and she had to focus on making those memories count. That's why when the sun peaked over the horizon she put her arm around Bonnie and the four of them hugged close.

Maybe there was a way to salvage this weekend after all.

* * *

The weekend had gone by in a blur. It was their last night at the beach before the ride back to reality in the morning. They had spent the weekend tanning on the beach and playing in the ocean and their nights at the arcade and walking the boardwalk. Their last night had been spent at a party held by one of their classmates who had a house nearby and everyone in the graduating class was there. When the party had become too much, Elena had excused herself and told her friends she would meet them back in their room. They had tried to tag along or convince her to stay but she pleaded with them to have fun and they let her go. She couldn't ask either of them to stop having fun with their boys just because she had boy problems of her own to deal with.

She just wanted one moment alone to prepare her thoughts for what tomorrow would bring. She hadn't talked to Damon all weekend and hadn't seen hide nor hair of Nik. It had allowed her to have fun and push her worries aside, but with the threat of tomorrow looming over her she knew she needed to deal with her emotions now.

She knew she had to confront Damon about Katherine. He could've chosen any other girl to be with and of all people he had chosen her. The anger burning inside of her over that fact was intense. She hated the idea of him running to Katherine after being with her. Even worse, knowing he still came to her despite spending time with another girl. She wanted to hurt Damon the way he had hurt her.

And that was when she saw Nik.

Elena hadn't noticed him at first but then his belligerent mumblings caught up with her. He was leaning against a lamppost in front of the hotel slurring his speech as he tried to call out to her. She wanted to leave him there, keep walking to her hotel and lock herself in her room, but the compassionate side of her couldn't do it. Nik was a mess. She could get him back into his room, leave him with a bucket to puke in and plenty of water and Advil so something bad didn't happen. No matter what he put her through, he didn't deserve to die.

Somehow despite his whining and fighting, she got him inside his room. She had to fish for his room key much to his amusement but the moment the door opened, he collapsed on the bed. After rolling him onto his side, she took of his sneakers and placed the trash bin from the bathroom at the side of the bed. She filled up a cup of water and placed it on his nightstand and went to leave the room only to hear him call out: "Stay."

It may have been the sadness in his voice or the way his hand reached out for her and fell limply to the floor, but something inside of her stupidly felt for him despite all he had done to her. She could at least wait until Kol came back. At least then she wouldn't be leaving him alone.

So she decided to stay.

* * *

Elena let the hot water cascade down her body, trying to wash away the mistakes of last night. She wasn't sure how it happened or how she could have let it, but it did and now she hated herself. After deciding to stay, Elena had made a makeshift bed out of two chairs and an extra pillow. Nik had fallen asleep and she had tried to focus on the TV and wait for Kol to come.

Sometime around three in the morning, Nik woke up and told her to get in the bed, promising he wouldn't touch her. Seeing as she was so uncomfortable, she conceded, but not before making a makeshift wall between the two of them of all the spare pillows. She kept her back to him and tried to be as far as possible from him on the large bed. At some point the wall had been breached and she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She had sex with Nik.

With images of Damon and Katherine together playing in her mind, she channeled her anger into thinking this was the best way to hurt Damon. Now she knew it had hurt her more because she had ex-sex with a guy who abused her. A guy who she never should've shown an ounce of kindness to last night. It was probably his plan all along.

When she woke up in the morning she slid out of his arms and rushed for the shower. Now she was trying to scrub away any remnant of last night to no avail. She just had to get out of there and get back to her own room and as far away from Nik and this room as possible. Turning the shower off, she wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the room.

Nik was standing by the open door dressed only in a pair of briefs. The bed was still a mess from the night before and now she was stepping out wrapped only in a tiny white cotton towel. To whoever was standing on the other side of Nik, it was obvious what had transpired here. Elena looked towards the open door and standing there wearing a satisfied smirk was none other than Katherine Pierce.


	12. Chapter 11: Baby, Now We Got Bad Blood

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thank you so much to my awesome (and quick!) beta and prereader and above all peachy friend Morgan (morvamp)! If you haven't yet- because you've been living under a rock or something- you should read her completed story Claiming Heart and Spaces before some lucky publisher picks it up and then you'll have to wait for the hard copy. Seriously, read it! It's worth it xx**

* * *

The sound of his phone vibrating on his nightstand woke Damon up. His groggy eyes blinked a couple of times to snap free of his dream before looking at the clock. It was nine in the morning and he didn't have a clue who could possibly be texting him this early. A part of him wished it was Elena. He hadn't talked to her the whole weekend and it was her last day. Was it foolish of him to think maybe she missed him a little bit?

He knew he had really messed everything up by starting things with her this way. They were so much more than just the physical. What they had was deep and meaningful and he had played it off like she was just some girl he called to hook up with. Damon knew he had to make it right and he would; as soon as she got back from Prom Weekend.

His dream had been about what would happen when he saw her; how she would run into his arms and he would finally confess everything he was feeling. It was sappy and romantic and basically a chick flick, but he couldn't help it. Ever since he and Elena had made love something had shifted. There was no way he was fighting against the current anymore. He just had to ride it and pray it brought him home.

As he sat up and rubbed away the last remnants of sleep, he picked up his phone and brought it close enough to read.

**From Kat Pierce:** _Hey boo ;) I guess you haven't been keeping your girl satisfied..._

Furrowing his brow, he typed out a reply.

_What are you talking about?_

Damon only had to wait a few moments before her reply came in, quick and fast like an arrow piercing his heart.

_Elena and Nik… Didn't you know? Caught them in quite the compromising position this morning._

He knew Katherine. He definitely knew better than to fall prey to manipulation and lies. Knowing all of that didn't stop the pain and anger from battling within him. They weren't exclusive by any means. Damon had always assumed Elena was hooking up with other guys. She was just getting out from under Nik's control. The girl deserved a little freedom. He just never expected that she would crawl back to a guy who treated her the way Nik had. Hell, he never expected Elena to be with another guy after what had happened only a couple days ago.

Still, he didn't need to let Kat know all of that.

_You're lying._

A part of him still had to cling to hope that this was all just some scheme. Surely, Elena would've told him that Nik had showed up to prom weekend. That wasn't something she would keep from him. Was it?

_Am I? We're talking messy hotel room bed, Elena in a towel, Nik in nothing but briefs. Oh, and did I mention they were all alone?_

Apparently there was a lot that Elena was keeping from him.

Katherine didn't even wait for a reply before sending another text. _Got the mental picture yet?_

Oh, he had more than that. He had a full on movie playing in his head. It was enough to make him sick. The thought of Nik's hands on Elena and her being willing was causing vile to rise up to his throat. How could she do this? And with him of all people?

He needed to talk to Elena. Dealing with Kat was not the way to go about it and he knew it. Yet Katherine Pierce seemed to be the only one being honest with him. How sick was that?

Instead of sending her a reply and buying into whatever plan she seemed to be concocting—because Katherine was always up to something—he instead sent a message to Elena. He said it without pretense or small talk. It was direct and to the point.

_Is it true?_

* * *

Elena wanted to slap that smirk right off Katherine's face.

She looked exactly like the cat that caught the canary. As her eyes took note of Elena's tiny towel and the messy bed, the smirk only deepened. Katherine brought her eyes back to Nik and gave a little tilt of her head as she said, "Thank you so much for your help!"

"A pleasure," Nik replied.

Katherine turned to leave but stopped to give one last look at Elena. With a bubble of laughter, she said, "Nice seeing you, Elena."

And then the door was shut and it was just Elena and Nik and all of the guilt she felt. Nik moved towards her, arms spread and ready to envelop her. It would've been so easy to give into that guilt, to wallow in it and just let herself drown. She had already slept with Nik once, accepting his touch now would just be an extension of that. It's what the old her would've done.

She wasn't that girl anymore.

Slapping his arms away, she pulled the towel tighter around her and stepped back. "Was this your plan all along?"

"I don't know what you mean, Elena," he sang. Just the sound of her name coming from his mouth grossed her out. He didn't get to say her name so lovingly. Not when the reality of what she had walked into when she had tried to help him suddenly hit her with alarm.

It was all so obvious now. How could she have let her anger make her so stupid? "This was all some plan you and Katherine came up with. The texts, you showing up here and getting drunk, last night… That's what she was thanking you for."

"Are you crazy?" Nik stated. "She was thanking me for helping her get a room this weekend. You weren't the only one I signed off on."

But the idea was already too deep rooted. All of the pieces were there and they all fit together so perfect. "How could you?" She was pointing her hand at him, her whole body shaking with anger. "Why would you do this?"

Nik grabbed hold of her arm, squeezing to the point of pain. "Let's get one thing straight. I never forced you to do anything. You were a _very_ willing participant."

She was going to be sick. Just the memory of the night before made her want to take another shower. Right now, however, she could only focus on the pain. And it didn't just exist in her heart. "Let. Me. Go."

"You weren't saying that last night," Nik whispered. His face was close to hers and his breath fanned her face. Elena felt cornered and scared. She was very aware of how little she was wearing and what little strength she had was dwindling. "You loved how rough I was with you. You were practically begging for me to go harder, to pull your hair tighter."

"Stop it, Nik. Let me go." Elena tried to pull free but he was just too strong. He was slowly moving them closer to the bed with his predatory steps. In her desperate attempts to flee, she hadn't realized just how close they were getting. Her free hand was trying to claw his hand free and he used her distraction to run his hand along her damp shoulder.

This couldn't be happening. He wouldn't do this to her. Nik may be abusive and controlling but he would never make her do something against her will. Not when he could manipulate her into agreeing to it. He loved having that power over her. Forcing her into it meant he hadn't won and that was something that would never sit well with Nik.

And that meant she still had some control.

"Nik," she whispered, making sure to keep her voice unsure. Elena had to make him think that she was changing her mind. It was the only way he would let her go long enough for her to get away. "Maybe you're right."

"Oh am I?" he said, as his touch lessened just enough for her to wiggle free.

She had her arms back and she used them to run her hands along his bare chest. Fighting against the need to gag and flinch, she brought them up to his shoulders. "Yeah, I do like it rough."

And as his mouth dropped open in surprise and his eyes darkened with hunger, she used the support of his shoulders to drive her knee to his crotch.

He doubled over, clutching himself and cursing as Elena quickly grabbed her things and bolted from the room. She slammed the door shut, muffling Nik's screams. Very aware she was only in a towel and standing in a hallway, she raced towards the elevator and punched in the floor where her room was.

Thankfully since it was prom weekend, the hallways were pretty much vacant this early in the morning. Most of the people staying here were still sleeping away their hangovers. When the elevator brought her to the right floor, she tip-toed her way to her room as she searched her pockets for her room key. Before she could slip the key into the lock, the door swung open to reveal a very wide-eyed Caroline.

"Elena!" Caroline screeched, before wrapping her arms around Elena and holding her tight. "You're alright!"

Hugging her back, Elena said, "More or less."

As Caroline released her and ushered her inside the room to where Bonnie sat with phone in hand, Elena finally became overwhelmed. Tears were streaming down her face as she sat down on the edge of the bed she had meant to share with Bonnie the night before. She felt stupid and guilty. Damon may have slept with Katherine, but that didn't mean she should've jumped in bed with Nik. It only made her realize that no matter how much she told herself that what Nik had done to her hadn't affected her, it had.

Bonnie and Caroline were on her in an instant, with arms wrapped around her and soothing words. It seemed like forever until she finally found her voice but somewhere around their fiftieth time asking what was wrong, she answered.

"I slept with Nik."

The shock was more than evident on both their faces and the silence was deafening. She needed words from them. She needed them to yell and berate her for being so stupid. She needed some form of punishment for what she had done. Instead, she got the opposite.

"Are you okay?" Bonnie asked.

"What happened?" Caroline questioned.

Elena looked side to side, studying both their faces, searching for some sort of ploy in this but found only compassion. Her face fell into her hands. "Why are you being so nice about it? Shouldn't you yell at me? Something!"

Caroline ran a hand through her hair. "After what happened with Damon and Katherine and Nik being here…"

"We know how he is, Elena," Bonnie finished.

"But I let it happened. I put myself in that situation. And Damon…"

"Damon and you are even," Caroline stated.

Removing her head from her hands, Elena sat up and leaned her head on Caroline's shoulders. "I can't believe this happened."

Bonnie squeezed Elena's knee and said, "How did it happen?"

And so Elena spilled the entire story of how she had found Nik drunk and let her compassion get the best of her. How she had been strong in the beginning but then let sleep and stupidity take over. She even told them of her theory about how Katherine and Nik had been working together to pull Damon and her apart. It all came out of her in one long breath and when she was done, a tiny bit of the weight she'd put on herself had lifted.

"We were supposed to be looking out for you," Bonnie finally said afterwards.

"That's not your job," Elena replied, giving a tiny sad smile.

Caroline released a breath. "And have you heard from Damon?"

Elena suddenly sat up and went for her pockets, pulling her cell phone out. "My phone died last night."

"That's why you weren't answering our texts."

Placing her phone on the charger, Elena's phone sprung to life. Multiple texts from Caroline and Bonnie and a few from her parents appeared on her phone. At the very top was her newest incoming message and it was from Damon.

_Is it true?_

Elena's hand went to cover her mouth. She knew from past experience that Katherine worked fast but this had to be a new record. If anything it just further proved that Damon had been in contact with her and possibly had been sleeping with her all along. Her own guilt subsided and anger won out as she began to type angrily into her phone.

_Is it true that you've been having sex with Katherine?_

She slammed the phone down on the chair and grabbed some clothes out of her bag as she filled in Bonnie and Caroline. As she got dressed, they contemplated ways of getting revenge on Katherine until finally her phone rang with a response.

_No. That's ridiculous._

Elena let out a grunt of frustration and typed back.

_Bonnie saw the texts. Just stop lying._

His response was immediate.

_What texts?! I haven't hooked up with Katherine since you said she was harassing you at school._

For the first time since Bonnie confirmed her worst fears, Elena felt doubt creep back in. Could Damon really be telling the truth? Had she just completely fell into a Katherine Pierce trap and become the reason for her and Damon never really getting their chance?

"Uh, Bonnie?"

Bonnie stood up and approached Elena where she had been standing by the window. Placing a hand on her back, Bonnie replied, "Yeah, Elena?"

Taking a deep breath and fighting back the tears, Elena said, "When Katherine showed you the texts… Did you check the date of them?"

"Well, no." Bonnie sucked in her bottom lip. "But they were the most recent messages between them."

"Oh no."

"Bonnie!" Caroline interceded, standing up and joining the other two girls by the window. "How could you not double check the date? This is Katherine we're talking about!"

"It was during prom!" Bonnie exclaimed. "She just cornered me in the bathroom and thrusted her phone in my face. I thought of everything else!"

"What have I done?" Elena whispered, silencing the other two. Two pairs of eyes turned towards her and no matter what the events leading up to this moment were, Elena knew the fault truly rested on her shoulders. She looked into those eyes with tear-filled ones of her own. "I really screwed this up, didn't I?"

Caroline placed two hands on her shoulders. "You can fix this. Damon knows what Katherine is like. He has to since he was hooking up with her and Stefan has told him everything she's been doing to you. Just talk to him, Elena."

Elena nodded and then just as she was about to start typing back she stopped. "I don't even know where to start."

It was Bonnie who swooped in this time. "From the beginning. Tell him what happened at prom and how Katherine and Nik have been working together this whole time. If he cares about you as much as he looks like he does, he'll get over it. You're not exclusive, Elena."

Caroline and Elena exchanged a look; the conversation on the way to Bonnie's resurfacing for both of them. Elena had admitted that it had become more with Damon. She hadn't been sure of what, but after their first date and the time spent in the car afterwards—that look—she knew something had shifted. Something that had meant so much to her then. Something that was tarnished now.

"Do you mind if I do this alone?" Elena asked. As much as her friends support had helped her up till now, she needed time to fix this and it had to be without her friends hovering.

"Only if you're sure," Caroline said.

With a nod from Elena, the girls hugged and then left with promises that they were only a text away and that they would be in Stefan and Jamie's rooms respectively. Once the door shut and Elena was left alone with her thoughts, guilt, and phone; she began typing the firsts of a series of texts that would end in a confession she hadn't seen coming.

* * *

_Elena? What texts?_

Damon was shaking. Judging by Elena's evasiveness to his initial question, the fact that she had slept with Nik was inevitable. The only thing that he was trying to figure out was why. And knowing that Katherine Pierce was at the heart of this was making him see red.

Finally, Elena came through after twenty agonizing minutes.

_Katherine approached Bonnie at prom and showed her texts between you two. She made Bonnie believe you two have been hooking up on days you've been with me._

Yeah. Definitely seeing red.

_And you thought I would do that to you?_

Maybe Elena would never get over the version of him she had first met. To her, he would forever be the playboy. The way this whole thing between them had started probably did little to sway that. He let the physical be their only connection. He muddled everything they had built with sex. In an effort to give her space he had lost them somewhere.

_I expected you had been with other girls. Just not Kat. It's why I came up with that rule. So that I could protect myself. It's why it was so easy to believe that you had._

Was that Elena's way of admitting she hadn't been with anyone else? Her whole rule conversation was never about her but had been about him all along. He should've known that after everything she had been through Elena would want to protect herself. Despite claiming he knew everything about her; he had clearly been wearing blinders ever since he kissed her. All of this double talk and not being honest had brought them to this moment.

_I haven't been with anyone else, Elena. It's only been you. How could you believe that so easily? How could you not talk to me about it?_

Elena's response was immediate.

_I'm such an idiot._

And he couldn't help it. That was as close to a confirmation of Katherine's word that he was going to get. Elena had been with Nik all night. They had sex. In her mind she had went to him to get revenge. She had wanted to hurt him in the worst way possible and she had. He was hurt and angry and he couldn't imagine himself ever getting the image of the two of them out of his head. It was on repeat haunting him, making it impossible to be kind.

_So am I._

She responded in confusion.

_Why what did you do?_

Damon took a deep breath. He knew there was no coming back from this. Once the words were out, he couldn't take them back. It wasn't exactly how he imagined telling her but he couldn't keep it to himself any longer. If he had said it from the beginning maybe things would be different. But now he was saying them to relieve the pressure and he knew it wouldn't change a thing. Despite the circumstances and Katherine's trickery, this wasn't something he could get over.

_I'm an idiot because I was falling in love with you._

Knowing she would want to respond, knowing she would want to fix things, he typed back a quick text to end the conversation.

_Don't bother responding, Elena. I don't want to hear it. I gave you space, now give me mine._


	13. Chapter 12: Burnin' Till You Return

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thanks so much to my beta/proofreader and most importantly friend, Morgan (morvamp) for going over this chapter for me. If you haven't already checked out her stories you seriously should. She's by far one of the top fanfic writers I've ever seen and I can't wait see what happened when she gets discovered ;)**

* * *

_June 22__nd__, 2007…_

* * *

Elena Gilbert. High School Graduate.

It was hard to believe that Mystic Falls High School had now become her alma mater. The final weeks of schools seemed to flash by in a blur. There had been finals and senior formal and yearbook signings; an array of events meant to build memories and make the days speed by. Then finally the rehearsals for the big day had started until, at last, it arrived. Pre-grad photos were taken outside of her house with her whole family before she had to race to the school for the ceremony. Losing herself in a sea of red gowns, she tried hard to find her spot until she was swept up with the tide and making her way to her seat. Speeches were made and awards were given; reminders to cherish these memories and welcome the future were at an all-time high. As she walked up to receive her diploma and heard the applause of her family and friends, the reality of this accomplishment hit her.

She had graduated with honors and distinction, a scholarship to a nearby school, and a pretty good idea of the dream she wanted to pursue. Everything was falling into place. All of her hard work over these years had finally culminated into this moment. It was a heady feeling. She should be riding high.

There was just one thing.

Damon.

It had been two weeks and she hadn't heard back from him. The radio silence was killing her and left her dwelling alone in her guilt. She took the punishment, wallowed and drowned herself in her own tears. This had been her fault alone. Katherine and Nik may have pulled her strings but it was her own anger and jealousy that got the best of her. She had always had a say in the matter and even if Damon _had_ been with Katherine, that hadn't meant she had to retaliate and hurt him back. Needless to say, she had learned a lesson on quick revenge.

Just because Damon wasn't talking to her didn't mean Elena wasn't attempting to speak to him. She called him twice a day and sent him texts and received nothing in return. He had asked for space, but she was having a hard time giving it to him knowing how they left things. They had to at least hash it out, clear the air. There needed to be some kind of conversation where they could talk face to face. Then if it was all too much and he still needed time away from her she would understand. At least then she would get to plead her case.

She had just become so used to having Damon there for her that it made her realize how much Damon meant to her.

Not to mention those words he had left her with were playing on constant repeat on her brain.

_I'm an idiot because I was falling in love with you._

She hadn't even had a chance to say she'd been falling in love with him too.

There was no way she could tell him something like that over a text message. They had both been so stupid. She had been so afraid of not jumping into something right away when in reality she already had. And Damon must have been so afraid of scaring her off that he had kept his lips shut. They had both been afraid of the other and now she had wrecked something that could've been great.

When the ceremony had ended and she had taken tons of photos with her friends doing all sorts of crazy things, she started walking towards her car and pulled out her cell phone. One look at Stefan's face told her that Damon had high-tailed it out of there as soon as his obligatory pictures had been taken. Clearly to avoid running into her. She had gone a whole two days without texting him; too swept up in graduation preparation to wallow. Now the high was coming down and the guilt was washing in and she was all alone with no one telling her all the reasons why she shouldn't. The last thing she had expected was that Damon wouldn't be a part of this night. He had become such an integral piece of her life that knowing he had been there, but not cheering her on, had congratulated Stefan, but bolted before he had to be forced to congratulate her, had taken photos with his family, but no silly photos with her, well, that carved a hole in her heart.

And right now she needed to make him a part of this big event in her life somehow. She just hoped he would answer.

_Your girl is officially a college girl! xx_

Elena didn't bother waiting for a response. She threw her phone into her purse and headed home to change and head back to the school for Project Graduation. Project Grad had been a tradition at the school to keep the new graduates out of trouble while still giving them a great night. Since tonight was all about celebrating and having fun, Elena made a promise to herself not to check her phone until after midnight so that she could at least pretend he had responded. She put her car in drive and exited the parking lot, letting the sounds of graduated seniors fade into the distance.

* * *

This was not at all how he had pictured it. He had to admit that he had always imagined swooping Elena into his arms and swinging her around with her fully decked out in her cap and gown. Elena's hand would be holding tight to her cap, her other hand gripping hold of him tight and praying he wouldn't let her go. It would be a moment of celebration. There had always seemed to be this underlying understanding that the night of her graduation would be the night that they could finally really begin.

Elena would be leaving high school and all the drama behind and stepping into a world where she had everything at her fingertips. Including him.

Instead, Elena had graduated and he had cringed when they called out her name, had focused on taking pictures of Stefan so he wouldn't be compelled to clap. Damon had been weak though, his camera had slid over to the stage and watched as she stepped on to the stage looking breathtaking. Her hair was in waves and her smile was radiant as she took hold of her diploma. Elena's eyes swept towards the crowd, giving a little wink in the direction of her family as she moved her tassel from one end to the other. He followed her as she stepped down and stuck her tongue out at Caroline before making her way back to her seat and giving a little wave to Bonnie and Stefan.

The infectious glow she was giving off tugged at his heart. How could she be so happy when he was so miserable? Then he was reminded of the façade she had pulled off when she was under that asshole of an ex-boyfriend of hers control. How she would seem so happy and content when deep down inside she was miserable. Judging by her constant texts, Elena was suffering just as much as he was. He had to remember that Elena was graduating and deserved to be happy in the moment. She deserved it.

When the ceremony ended, he had practically dragged his parents over to where Stefan had designated to meet up. He had tackled his brother, gave him some shit, and then congratulated him before smiling for some photos. As soon as his mother had cried about her babies being all grown up- he knew it was time for him to bolt. The crowd was getting thicker and he knew Stefan would eventually want to take photos with his friends and that meant Elena. The last thing he wanted was an awkward run in with her when he had no idea how he felt about the whole prom weekend situation.

He had given his brother one last hair ruffle with a congratulatory slap on the back and made up some excuse about checking on his car. Now he just had to navigate the crowds and pray he didn't bump into Elena as he was trying to get away.

With all of his focus on avoiding Elena he had nearly trampled some poor girl walking in front of him. The two of them collided and he jumped backwards, praying that the female yelp didn't belong to Elena. His hands grabbed hold of her shoulders, bare — meaning she wasn't a recent graduate. He almost jumped in joy at the sight of the girl before him. She had one side of her hair pinned back and the rest was set into curls that went nearly to the waist of her maroon dress.

"Sorry about that," Damon said. "Wasn't watching where I was walking."

The girl took a breath. "You had to be to miss what was right in front of you." Her voice held just the taste of attitude but when she looked up and met his eyes, she seemed taken aback. "Aren't you Damon Salvatore?"

"Uh, do I know you?"

The girl blushed and giggled. "I wish. No. You're kind of a local legend. _Everyone_ knows you."

"My reputation precedes me," Damon said, crossing his arms and smiling to himself.

Her eyes grew as wide as her smile as she whispered, "Boy, does it ever."

_Awkward._ Normally he would flirt back with someone who was clearly flirting with him but he was completely messed up from Elena that he didn't know where they stood. He had asked for space, but for how long? He didn't know if this was something they could get over. Every time he closed his eyes he thought of her with _him_ and it made him want to puke. Yeah, Katherine and Nik played her for a fool, but Elena had fallen into it without at least coming to him first.

Now he had this girl clearly interested and he had no idea what to do.

So, he stuck with small talk.

"Did you have a brother or sister graduating?"

The girl shook her head. "Just supporting the girls from my soccer team."

"Oh, you play?"

She smiled, happy he seemed interested. He was giving her signals without even meaning to. "Varsity since I was a freshman."

"And how long ago was that?" he deadpanned. There was no way she was an alumni or even an upcoming senior. She looked too young and naïve.

Her head cocked to the side, still smiling. "I'm going to be a junior."

Ah, so not exactly jailbait, but pretty damn close. "Quite the achievement."

"I think so." She looked over his shoulder. "So, are you headed out of here?"

Damon nodded. "I've reached my picture quota for the night."

Laughing, she said, "Well, I'm headed out, too. Want to walk together?"

Not knowing how to politely decline, Damon simply relented. He gestured forward and the two began to navigate out of the crowd towards the parking lot. The girl kept the conversation flowing; asking about college and what he was studying, talking about soccer and how much she would miss the girls that had graduated, she even seemed to know about Stefan.

It was odd because the more she talked, the more he seemed to listen. She had an ease about her and for the first time in a long time, Elena was nowhere on his mind. This girl, whose name he still didn't know, had taken his mind off of it all just by talking to him. It was nice.

When they had reached his car, he found himself feeling kind of sad about it. It was all very peculiar. "So, this may seem odd but what's your name?" Damon asked, just as she was about to turn away and head towards where her mom was waiting.

She smiled and seemed absolutely thrilled by the question. "Charlotte. My name's Charlotte."

* * *

After Damon had watched Charlotte leave, he hopped into his car and headed home. The whole way home he found himself not focusing on Elena but on this newfound-out-of-nowhere acquaintance with Charlotte. She may have known way too much about his life for a stranger, but he had to admit that what had started off as awkward had ended up somewhere cool.

It was why when he got home and turned on his laptop he wasn't the least bit surprised to see a friend request from Charlotte waiting for him. Judging by how ecstatic she seemed to just meet him, becoming Facebook friends immediately would be hard for her to resist.

If this had happened after that star struck version of her he saw at the school, he may have ignored it. But as she relaxed more, he kind of liked talking to her and that's why he accepted without a second thought.

Then he wrote her a message.

_It was nice getting to talk to you today… Once you got over the whole OMG DAMON SALVATORE bit lol_

She wrote back right away.

_Have you looked in a mirror? You have to give girls a little ten second delay to bask in you before default settings return. Haha!_

With a smirk, he typed:

_Well your "default settings" are pretty cool so stick with that =]_

She responded:

_I will… Maybe we can hang out some more this summer…_

Damon hesitated. He didn't want her getting the wrong idea. He wasn't exactly in the position to begin something when he was still so hung up on Elena. Before he could think up a good response, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Damon fished for it and checked the screen to show a message from Elena.

_Your girl is officially a college girl! xx_

His heart dropped. _His_ girl. There was a time when that thought would have sent him into overdrive. Damon had waited for what seemed like forever to finally think of Elena Gilbert as his. When he first met her, he lusted after her but then it became more than that. She was beautiful, but there was so much more to her than that. One conversation had him ignoring an amazing party just to talk to her. After being friends with her, it was impossible not to fall for her.

But he had let lust step in and wreck what could've been some Nicholas Spark's worthy love story.

Now it had all gone to shit and seeing her referring to herself as "his girl" only made him more confused. If she really thought that how could she fuck Nik?

He looked up from his phone to his computer screen where Charlotte's latest message was still glaring at him.

Not wanting to keep her waiting he quickly typed back:

_Maybe. We'll see. _

Then he looked back down at his phone trying to think up what to say—or if he should say anything at all.

One thing was for sure and that was that he couldn't keep living in this limbo with Elena. He couldn't keep avoiding her and ignoring her and not using this space that he had demanded to not think things through. The whole point was to try to figure out if they still had a future despite everything. Instead he had used it to do nothing productive.

He had to talk to her.

Taking a deep breath, he typed out a response.

_Congrats. Can we meet up tomorrow and talk?_

* * *

Elena had practiced what to say a million times on the drive over here. That still didn't mean she had any idea what to say to make things right. She needed Damon to understand that it had all been a horrible mistake. That with all the confusion over where they stood and Katherine's well-timed manipulation she had been easy prey. She had felt horrible after being with Nik, disgusted even.

She wasn't in love Nik. She was in love with Damon.

That's what she needed to make him understand. She needed to get him to forgive her.

She was leaning against her car in the back of the very same supermarket where they'd had sex for the first time. It had been Damon's idea to meet here because somewhere along the way this had become their spot. Elena had been certain he would be here first but instead she was left waiting, constantly looking up at every sound of a car engine passing by.

Until finally the car engine was his.

Damon pulled into the spot a few over from hers and put it in park, turning off the ignition. He exited his car and her heart stopped. She hadn't seen him in three long weeks and she missed him. Missed the sight of him walking towards her and the bright blue of his eyes, and those dark raven black strands of his hair that never seemed to cooperate. The one thing she missed the most was how he would look at her. Because right now as he walked towards her, he kept his eyes trained studiously at his feet.

Then they were only feet apart. She could smell the scent of him, all leather and bourbon and Damon. She had to close her eyes at it and let it overwhelm her. In all this time she had almost forgot.

When her eyes opened, he was looking at her. It wasn't warm, like she was expecting. Instead there was a vacancy in those blue eyes that looked hauntingly at her. Just a twist of pain in the depth of them. She had hurt him. She had known that, but it wasn't until this moment that she realized just how much.

When Elena had believed Damon had been fucking Katherine, the image had been burned to her brain, playing on repeat, destroying her. But those images had dissipated with the truth. Damon's images would never be cleansed because they were rooted in truth. She had slept with Nik. There was no denying it.

They hadn't been official, but he had been falling in love with her. She referred to it in the past tense because she wasn't sure where they stood. Not anymore.

She decided to break the silence. "Hi."

His eyes widened at the sound of her voice and then his lids moved to cover them as he whispered back, "Hi."

"Damon, I…" her voice cut off. How did she even begin? Elena decided to start with the most direct way possible. "I'm so sorry."

"I know," was all he said.

Elena couldn't look at him as she spoke. "I know how you feel and before you stop me," because he had started to protest, "I felt exactly how you do for three whole days. I kept seeing you with Katherine and I was so angry. But I did the worst thing I could've done. I didn't confront you about it. I let my anger sit with me until I made a huge mistake. Not only with you but with the person I had become.

"I was weak, Damon. I had tried so hard to protect my heart because Nik had ruined me. But you crept inside it anyways. I tried to deny it but there you were. So, when I believed you had proved me right I retaliated. It was so stupid, Damon. But it didn't mean anything."

"It had to mean something, Elena." There was anger in his voice, enough to make her flinch, before she met his heated gaze. "You ran right into his arms. You could've had your choice of anyone at prom weekend, could've vented your heart out to Caroline or Bonnie, but you ended up in _his_ bed."

"Not on purpose!" she cried out. "He was drunk and a mess and despite everything I didn't want something to happen to him. I ended up in his room because he was wasted. I stayed because Kol hadn't come back yet."

"But why did you fuck him, Elena?"

"Because I wanted to hurt you," she breathed, tears falling down her face. "And because I felt horrible about myself and he was there. It was so easy to just go back to that place. To be that girl with low self-esteem and being controlled by a man. I didn't want to think because thinking meant seeing you with Katherine and I couldn't handle that. So I fucked up."

Damon had started pacing, his hands pulling at his hair. "Why couldn't you talk to me, Elena? Why wouldn't you call me out for breaking the only rule you gave me? Why did you sit and stew it in for the whole fucking weekend?"

"Because I didn't want to hear you confirm it." And there it was. Elena hadn't even realized her reasoning until the words pushed themselves free. Then suddenly it all made sense.

"But that's the thing, Elena. I wouldn't have confirmed it," he seethed. "I wouldn't have done that to you and you should have known that. You should have trusted me."

As she looked up at Damon, he shoved at his car and kicked his tire. "And you sure as hell shouldn't have done it to me," he yelled. He was radiating anger and all she wanted was to placate it. Without thinking, she ran towards him, placing her arms around him, pleading with him to stop. She just wanted the anger to die down. For him to understand. God, she wanted him to just _understand_.

But he flinched from her touch, like it physically burned. It's when she realized that their beautiful emotional blaze had turned into a devastatingly brutal wildfire. She wasn't sure how to stifle its damage anymore. Her arms dropped and she stepped back, letting him turn around and face her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's just… too soon."

"You don't even want me to touch you, Damon. How are we supposed to fix this?"

"I don't know how to fix this," Damon whispered, his head drooping and his body falling backwards onto his car.

"I don't either," Elena replied, honestly. She hesitantly reached for his face and bit her lip as he recoiled. Still, as tears streamed down her face, she reached for him and forced him to look at her. As his eyes looked up and met hers, she added, "But I want to."


	14. Chapter 13: You're To Blame

**Title: Almost**

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thanks so much to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading and beta'ing this chapter! If you haven't already please check out all of her stories! They're pretty much the best in all the fanfics I've read. And she's finally getting some recognition because her story Claiming Hearts and Spaces will be getting its own trailer! Thanks to everyone who made that possible!**

**I hope this chapter gives some explanation and hope to those of you who have been struggling with the angst in this story. Hope this gives you just enough hope to stick with me…**

**This going to be a long one so I'll see you down below…**

* * *

_July 1__st__, 2007…_

* * *

The feeling of her lips against his neck was enough to drive him wild. His hands grabbed hold of her, pulling her harder against him. Damon just needed her closer. He needed her to melt into him and become part of his soul. He needed to feel her in his bones. She had practically wormed her way into his heart and mind; why not just fully possess him mind, body and soul.

"Is this okay?" she whispered, her voice wavering and unsure.

He hated hearing that tone from her. She was confident and sure in this. Or at least she used to be. A lot of things about them had been fucked up and confusing but she knew what drove him crazy. This wasn't their first time.

He lifted his one hand and gathered up her dark brown hair and forced her to look at him. Even with their faces breaths apart, her eyes stayed downward, refusing to look him in the eye. That had been happening a lot lately. "Elena, look at me."

She took a deep breath and slowly brought those deep brown eyes of hers up to his. Damon could tell she was fighting against the urge to look over his shoulder to the bed of his father's truck. But for this moment she was focused on him and he needed her to understand something.

"You know what drives me wild and I know what makes you scream. We're pros at this. I go insane when you kiss my neck and bite my ear and nip at my jaw. You moan when I bite your lip and slide my hands down your thighs. Just go for whatever feels natural. There's no need to be nervous. We've done this before."

He watched as Elena pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. With the pad of his thumb, he pulled her lip free and watched as her mouth stayed slightly open, her eyes drifting to his bottom lip and her breathing becoming shallow.

"But we haven't since…" she said in a breathy voice.

Damon instantly froze. Whatever high he had been riding before had instantly bottomed out. Elena hadn't finished the sentence but he knew in a heartbeat where the ending of that sentence had been headed. They hadn't done anything since prom weekend. He hadn't kissed or fucked her since she had been with the other guy. The one whose name he refused to say. Those images he had worked so hard to push back came barging into his head demanding to be on replay.

His hands dropped from Elena and he found himself pushing her off his lap as he edged closer to the window. He just couldn't think straight with her in only a bra straddling him and being so close with her scent around him. The whiplash from it all was giving him a headache.

"I'm sorry," Elena whispered. The smallness of her voice made him look at her. She was huddled up on the other side of the backseat, as far away as she could get from him, with her body curled in on itself. She looked tiny and vulnerable. Very much like the girl he had found on Caroline's lap after that asshole ex-boyfriend of hers had nearly broke her door down. Elena was scared and he had never wanted to see her scared of him.

"Stop," Damon said with a sharper edge to his voice than he had meant to give. He tried to soften it and it cracked. "Just stop apologizing."

"I don't know what else to do," she responded. He could hear the beginnings of her sobs attempting to break through.

The truth was: after that talk where they had both admitted they didn't know how to make it work, Damon had been trying. Elena was the one who promised first to not give up on them. She had been the one to reach out and touch him, to keep on touching him, even after he flinched and backed away. He had needed that.

It made him realize how much he had missed her. That despite it all he was still falling in love with her. That this little bump in the road could be something they could overcome. They just had to work at it. And they were.

Since that night they had hung out at every opportunity. They went on drives, saw movies, talked and tried to build back the trust that had been shattered. Besides a hug goodbye and brushes of hands they hadn't really touched. Until tonight.

While Elena had been waiting on the corner of her street for him to pick her up, he had been busy getting ready for a romantic night. His car was in the shop getting tuned up and he had borrowed his Dad's truck. In an effort to try to make the next step, he had made up the bed of the truck with quilts and pillows in the hopes that they could just lay back and relax at the Falls. When she hopped into the car, he had told her that he had a surprise and as he watched her eyes light up with each turn to their destination, he found himself forgetting all about what happened in the past. He just wanted to keep on being the reason behind her smiles.

Then it had started to rain.

The moment they pulled up and hopped out to pull back the cover on the truck, the downpour hit them. They both ran to the backseat in an attempt to hide from the rain and found themselves both soaking wet and breathing hard. He took one look at Elena and she pounced. Her mouth was on in him and his hands were holding her. She straddled him and then the past few weeks suddenly evaporated from his mind and there was only this girl that he was still falling for.

That was until they had started removing clothing and it was really headed somewhere. He could tell Elena was becoming unsure of herself. Her kisses weren't as forceful and she had repeatedly asked him if something was okay. Then she brought up Nik and it was like a bucket of cold water had been splashed over both of them.

Now he was trying to pour bleach on his brain and Elena was crying.

So much for a romantic night.

Seeing Elena like this made him feel like an asshole for pushing her away so abruptly. He could've handled it better and she could've put a filter on it, especially when they were mid-make-out-sesh. He just didn't need to be reminded of it. Still, he hadn't meant to recoil once again after they had been working so hard to get past that.

He inched closer towards her and pressed his bare chest against her bare skin, fighting hard to push aside the images his mind was forcing him to see. He placed an arm around her and cradled her into him and she clung to him. It broke his heart.

All this time he had wanted Elena to give him some kind of clue as to what was going on inside of her head and now he was getting flashing neon ones. She may not have said the words but he would have to be a fool not to see.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to push you away," he said as he went to kiss her hair.

She shook her head. "You should not be apologizing to me. I did this."

Damon couldn't handle her taking all the blame. Not when there was someone else who played a bigger part. "Only because Katherine manipulated you to."

"It doesn't excuse it, Damon."

"But it makes it easier for me to see your side of things. We're trying, Elena. It's not going to be perfect. We're going to have bumps in the road."

She lifted her head and looked up at him. "But you're willing to try?"

He grabbed hold of her face; she just looked so fragile. "I said I would." Bringing his hand to her chin, he brought her lips to his and they kissed.

They kissed slowly, relearning something they had done countless times. Where before they had been swept along by tension and chemistry, rushing through it all, this time they took their time and rekindled that flame that they had always had burning between them.

It gave Damon the time to not get lost in her, but rather study her. He relearned her body and her. And the slow pace allowed Elena to not feel as if she had rushed him into something he wasn't ready for. This time when Elena straddled him and their bare chests collided, he took a moment to study the racing beat of her heart. It beat against his chest, matching his own. She was just as nervous and excited as he was.

His fingers clawed at her shoulder blades and Elena's back arched, pushing her body closer to him. Her hips began doing these delicious things to him with their slow, purposeful circles. He was very aware of the little bit of clothing between them. The last time hadn't reached this point.

Damon's hands ghosted down her back and judging by the breaths coming from Elena it was sending chills down her spine. His hands landed on the hem of her white shorts and his fingers danced along to the front, slipping the button free with ease. As his hand slipped inside, the zipper slid open, giving him more room. The pad of his thumb circled her clit and with the rise of her hips, he slipped his fingers inside her.

She welcomed them with a gasp as her nails clawed his shoulders. He let her set the pace, using the rolling of her hips to push his fingers in and out of her. It gave her the control, which was what he had wanted. He needed that confident girl he knew still existed and with each curl of his fingers he saw more and more of her.

"I need you," she breathed after leaving his lips with a bruising kiss.

Elena didn't wait for an answer before lifting up her hips and removing his hands so that she could unbuckle his shorts. She was hurried but pulled him free with purpose. She grabbed hold of him and began to work her hand over him. The feeling of her soft hand on him and the sight of her so focused and determined, lip pulled between teeth and chest heaving, had him ready to come undone right then and there.

But that wasn't at all how he wanted it to go, so he focused himself on kissing her neck and pinching her nipples between his forefinger and thumb. His hands were still wet with her and he brought his mouth down to her breast to get the taste of her on his tongue. Elena nearly lost it then; she squeezed him harder and pumped harder, panting with desire or exertion, he couldn't tell.

With her breast wet, he sent a whisper of his breath on them and Elena visibly shivered, releasing a moan from her now parted mouth. It made him want to kiss it, but now wasn't the time to fulfill that wish. He needed to be inside her. He was hard as fuck and she was dripping wet and it seemed like a goddamn tragedy.

Elena seemed to have a similar thought because she eased her hips up and straightened her legs, the rest of her body bending over him as she eased her shorts down her legs. He helped her get them off and then quickly removed his own before grabbing hold of her waist and bringing her back to him.

Just as the very tip of him eased into her entrance, they both froze and locked eyes. Elena's were wide as saucers, in complete excitement that after all this time it was finally happening again. He used his free hand to grab hold of her neck and crash her lips to his just as he pushed into her. They both moaned when he had filled her to the hilt, taking a moment to just get used to the feeling of being together once again.

Elena seemed to get antsy because just as he was about to move, her hips lifted up and slammed back down. He grabbed hold of her ass and together they moved in perfect sync. It seemed neither time nor anger could prevent this from being just as amazing as it had been the first time. They just fit.

They teased each other, constantly. Each changing up speed just when the other was reaching that climax. To Damon it was a godsend. The last thing he wanted was to come too early when he wanted to drag this out as long as possible. And he wanted them both to reach it at the exact same time.

When their bodies were slick with sweat and neither could take it any-fucking-more they came together, clinging to each other with the sound of rain hitting the roof of the car. It was the only other sound other than their cries.

* * *

"Yes! It's about freaking time!"

Elena laughed. "It was sex, Care. We've done _that_ before."

Caroline plopped down onto Elena's bed beside her in a huff. "No, you do not understand. The sexual tension was driving everyone crazy! You both looked so ready to jump each other's bones yet so afraid to. I couldn't handle the emotional rollercoaster and I sure as shit don't know how either of you did!"

"I don't either. But it's so much more than that. Now that the sex is out of the way…" Elena stopped speaking, staring at the ceiling in thought.

Caroline grabbed hold of her hand from beside her. "What?"

"He told me he was falling in love with me. Are we really going to go back to being fuck buddies?"

The two girls turned towards each other. "What do you want?"

Elena bit her lip—a nervous habit she had been doing all of her life. "I want more."

"Did you tell him that?"

Rolling onto her back, Elena let out a bark of a laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure that would go well." She turned her head towards Caroline. "He _just_ got used to touching me, kissing me, _being_ with me."

"But he isn't really _with_ you. Don't you get it? You're back where you started: not committed. Those same insecurities are going to come right back."

Elena shook her head. "They're not. I'm not going to let them." She sighed. "I can't rush him, Care. I hurt him bad. This may not be what I want but I can wait for him. We're just taking it slow."

It was true. As much as it killed her to be back in the gray area with Damon, unsure of where they stood, unsure of what he was doing when he wasn't with her, she couldn't rush him. She saw what happened when she did. She had made the first move in the car, had gone full steam ahead and hadn't let either of them really grasp it. Elena had to listen to what his body had told her: take it slow.

That's why she hadn't told him she was falling for him. Because saying it would just scare him off. He wasn't ready to hear that yet. She wanted to tell him when the moment was right and they were good. Not when he could push her away.

That rejection would cut a little too deep.

Caroline, ever the best friend and her biggest defender, could only respond with a gentle warning of, "Just be careful."

Just then Elena's phone vibrated from the nightstand. She reached over to open the message.

**From Damon:** _Any plans for the 4__th__?_

She typed back a quick reply as Caroline took one look at her and said, "Judging by that smile, it's Damon."

_Just the usual. Town fireworks. Why?_

Elena elbowed Caroline in the rib and before her best friend could get her back, the phone alerted her to another message.

_I was thinking the beach. You in? We'll make a day of it and after the fireworks head home._

She typed back: _Yes :) I've never seen fireworks on the beach._

"Are you two sexting?" Caroline groaned. "Seriously, Elena. I'm right here!"

"No!" Elena blushed. "He's asking me about my 4th of July plans."

"Thank god!"

Elena's phone vibrated with another response.

_Do you want Caroline and Stefan to tag along?_

Giving her phone to Caroline, Elena asked, "You in?"

"I mean if you're both fine with it. It could be like a double date!" Caroline's carefree tone switched to exciting planning mode in a heartbeat.

Elena only laughed and typed back.

_Caroline's already planning out the matching t-shirts lol_

Damon's response came right away.

_Tell her grey really brings out my eyes._

With a smile, Elena replied: _You look good in colors too!_

Damon wrote back.

_Well there's always red, white, or blue! And Stefan said as long as there's a kitten on them._

Elena barked out a laugh, which had interrupted Caroline's really long sentence on all the things they could do on the boardwalk. Caroline gave her a narrowed glance. "What?"

"Stefan just has an opinion on the matching shirts. He wants a kitten on them."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "As if I would let matching shirts interfere with my Independence Day outfit." She paused. "We need to find you something to wear!" And dashed to Elena's closet to start pulling out outfits.

Elena just shook her head and typed out a text to Damon.

_That's a negative on the kittens. It'll interfere with her outfit._

Damon typed back: _Boo :( _

With a huge grin, Elena typed back.

_I'm sure you're really upset about the lack of American flag bearing kittens in your attire._

A response didn't come, so Elena had to be Caroline's dress up doll as her best friend thrusted outfit after outfit at her and made Elena hold it against herself to test them out. Half of her closet and most of the contents of her dressers had been emptied on to her bed in an effort to find, in Caroline's words: "the perfect outfit". It had taken awhile but eventually they, or rather Caroline, had settled on a navy bikini with a white cover-up and red flip flops. And because one outfit is never enough, a red tank top and white capris were thrown into her day bag. As Caroline started rambling on the possible bikini choices to go under her own clothes, Elena's phone vibrated with a new text from Damon.

_Is it cool if this girl Charlotte joins us? She's an upcoming Junior. She said she knows Caroline._

Elena's brow furrowed as she sat down on the bed, still rereading the text. Charlotte? Who was Charlotte? And why was Damon asking her to tag along on what Caroline had deemed as a double date? There was only way for her to get answers. "Uh, Care?"

"Yeah, E?" Caroline replied, distracted and smiling to herself as she texted Stefan.

"Who's Charlotte? Damon says she's a junior and that you know her."

Caroline's smile instantly fell. "Why?"

Elena let out a huff. "Well, it seems Damon wants her to join us."

Pushing aside some of the clothes, Caroline took a seat beside her. "Do you remember when I was dating that soccer player Enzo?"

Elena nodded. "The asshole who cheated on you at that party the girls' soccer team threw."

"Well," Caroline's shoulders dropped, "Charlotte is the girl he hooked up with."

With her jaw dropped and her eyes widened Elena muttered, "And she had the nerve to say she _knows_ you? Like you're best buds?"

"I don't really blame Charlotte. When I confronted her, she said Enzo had never told her he was dating someone. And I believed her. Enzo was a scumbag."

"I don't know, Care. A girl will say anything to avoid a fight. She'll live in complete denial to not get caught or to protect the guy she was helping cheat."

Caroline gave her an arched brow. "You speak as if from experience."

Elena shook her head. "No. Cheating is disgusting."

"Agreed," Caroline said, bumping her shoulder into Elena's. "But I believe her. She was a freshman and naïve and Enzo can be quite the sweet-talker."

"So is Damon."

Caroline sighed. "What happened to not letting those insecurities bubble up?"

"He's the one inviting her to tag along," Elena balked. "There has to be a reason. Either she'll be the fifth wheel or me."

"Why don't you do what you didn't do last time and ask him?"

She had a point there. Elena had learned from the mistakes of prom weekend and that meant before jumping to conclusions she had to confront people about it. So instead of dwelling on it and coming up with her own conclusions, she wrote to Damon.

_Why? And how do you know Charlotte?_

It took a while, but eventually Damon responded.

_We're friends. We've just been talking since your graduation. She's a cool girl and since I'm leaving the day after Independence Day for my cousins wedding in Texas I thought I would say goodbye to everyone at once._

Elena had almost forgotten that Damon would be gone for two weeks. She definitely forgot it was so soon. And though she felt that inklings of jealously and anger creeping up in her, she decided to type out one last thing.

_What about Ric and Mason? Why aren't they coming?_

Damon wrote back.

_Because they're busy. I asked. So are you cool with her coming or not?_

It was Caroline who stopped her from reading the message for the sixth time. "So what did he say?"

"That they're friends and that his other friends aren't coming because they're busy." She fell back onto her pile of clothes. "It's just awkward. I don't want her there. He's going to be gone for two weeks afterwards. I want time with him. We're already on shaky ground."

Her best friend was silent for a moment before she finally said, "Tell him I don't want her there. Tell him it would be awkward for me."

Elena jolted upright. "What? Caroline, you don't have to do that."

"It's nothing. I want you two to get back on track. Plus," she leaned in and tapped Elena's nose, "I only ordered four matching shirts and we don't want Charlotte to be the odd one out," she joked.

That made Elena smile. She had truly hit the jackpot in the best friend's category. Embracing Caroline in a huge hug, Elena stated, "Thank you. I owe you one."

"What are friends for?" Caroline replied, as she squeezed her tight. "Now tell him."

Elena typed a message to Damon.

_Caroline feels kind of awkward about her being there. Apparently when Caroline was dating Enzo he cheated on her with Charlotte. Is it okay if she doesn't come?_

Before sending, she showed the message to Caroline who hit send without a second thought.

All Damon said in his reply was: _It's fine._

* * *

_July 4__th__, 2007_

* * *

"I can't believe we drove all the way down here and it rained!" Caroline pouted.

Stefan wrapped his arms around her. "But we're still having fun. Aren't we?"

"Yeah, but," Caroline's gave her best puppy dog eyes as if they could change reality with one look, "what's Independence Day without fireworks?"

"A celebration of our Founding Father's breaking free from British control?" Elena offered.

"The celebration of them doing something wrong because they knew it was right?" Damon added.

Elena cocked her head at him. "Did you just paraphrase National Treasure?"

"Maybe," Damon sang, taking hold of her hand and giving her a quick kiss.

"The celebration of the thirteen colonies breaking free of British rule after improper taxation," Stefan stated.

Caroline groaned. "I'm surrounded by history nerds."

"You're a descendent of a Founding Family," Damon said. "How is this not ingrained in your head?"

Caroline shrugged, linking her arm through Stefan's as they walked along the boardwalk. "All I remember is something about tea being dumped into the water. Which come on? Why not just keep it for yourselves."

"Because of the tea tax. And because—" Stefan abruptly stopped speaking and Elena looked and saw it was because Caroline's fingers were currently pressed down on his lips.

"No more history talk. We're here to have fun!"

"Who's up for some boardwalk games?" Elena cheered.

As a group they started making the rounds to play the various games set up on the boardwalk. Damon kicked butt at the water gun chase, Caroline won the biggest prize at knock-the-can, Stefan killed it at the football toss and got a teddy bear for his "Care-Bear", and Elena won a huge stuffed animal by popping some balloons with a dart. Damon and Elena had given their prizes to some lucky kids that happened to be nearby, absolutely making their day.

With the fireworks no longer happening, the day was spent taking tons of silly, ridiculous photos and playing games. They stopped for pizza and caught a new movie that was playing. The night was going by too quickly and knowing Damon would be leaving, tomorrow she didn't want it to end.

Elena had been happy that Caroline had made her pack a second warmer outfit, because with the rain and the wind it was quickly becoming a chilly night. Thankfully, that also meant that Damon stayed close to her to keep her warm.

"Anyone up for the Ferris wheel?" Stefan asked.

With everyone in agreement they all headed over and each couple made sure to get their own seat. The moment Elena hopped in besides Damon, he pulled her in close and she leaned against him, just enjoying the moment.

"I'm really going to miss you, you know," Damon whispered, as they moved so that the ocean appeared endless before them.

"Are you?" she teased, playing with their clasped hands in front of her.

"A lot."

She smiled. "I'm going to really miss you, too."

For a moment, high in the sky with Damon's arms around her and their hands intertwined, they were just Damon and Elena, a boy and a girl navigating this crazy thing called love. The whole day had been amazing. There had been no issues about the past, only the two of them living in the now. It was nice to see the version of themselves that they could've been or rather could be.

She was so thankful that he hadn't brought up the Charlotte situation and instead just embraced being there with her. It was what she had wanted. Because the whole day had shown her that they could really become a couple if they would just give it a chance.

When the ride ended they all decided it was a good time to head out. They had a long drive ahead of them and there was bound to be traffic. So, they all loaded up into Damon's car. Elena and Damon in the front seat and Stefan and Caroline cuddling up in the back.

It all felt bittersweet. Because this whole day had been perfect, but she knew what followed would be miserable. As the radio came upon a familiar song, Damon turned it up just enough for her to hear and squeezed her hand. He looked in the rearview mirror where Caroline and Stefan had fallen asleep on each other and turned to her and whispered, "While I'm away, I want you to listen to this song and think of me."

She listened and may have actually swooned. It may just be two weeks but when you're young two weeks is a lifetime. When she heard the song, she knew it was perfect for this moment and every moment she would be missing him the next two weeks.

_Hey there, Delilah  
Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes  
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise  
I'm by your side_

Oh it's what you do to me

And the whole ride home Damon didn't let go of her hand.

* * *

**A/N: We'll be having a bit of a time jump next chapter. Will Damon and Elena be together or still stuck in this stage? Or even worse… Will they not be together at all? What do you think?**

**Read and review as always xx**


	15. Chapter 14:Where Would We Be Now Baby

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thanks so much to Morgan (morvamp) for finding time to preread and beta this during a crazy weekend and work schedule. The fact that I threw in the dilemma over finding a career for Damon only made that more difficult and I appreciate her so much for helping me. If you haven't already check out all her amazing stories over on her fanfic page and DEFINITELY check out the teaser trailer for her story Claiming Hearts and Spaces over on youtube.**

**I recommend you listen to Good Charlotte - Where Would We Be Now while listening to this chapter ;)**

**There's two time jumps in here so enjoy xx**

* * *

_December 2009…_

* * *

"Tonight make sure you read chapters twelve and thirteen and be ready to discuss them in length next class. That'll be all."

Elena gathered up her books and merged with the throng of college students making their way out of the room. College was definitely different than high school. The classes moved at a quicker pace and the responsibility to keep her grades up fell solely on her. The teachers weren't breathing down your neck and there was no guidance counselor calling you in. No, if you wanted to do better, you needed to make appointments to speak with teachers and guidance counselors. Every responsibility was left up to her.

Others drowned in it and struggled in the newfound freedom, but not her. She loved the liberty of choosing her own classes, managing her own schedule, having the control over her own life. The girl she was in high school would've been screaming for a life raft with the rest of the struggling freshman when she got here, but the college girl she had become found a way to survive the rough waters all on her own.

Now she was a junior and deep into the courses geared towards her history major. Freshman year had been about core classes and introduction, getting the hang of things. Being a sophomore meant testing her passion. But junior year was all about living and breathing the things she loved most. These past three years had really opened her up and as the classes got more and more focused on history, the more she thrived. She made new friends and spoke up in class and had made the Dean's list every single semester. Her grades were stellar, she loved her classes and teachers, and she had her future at her fingertips and the world wide open before her.

Her body was constantly thrumming with the feeling of being so alive and so immersed in her studies and life. It was a common occurrence, her constant living in the moment, that she often bumped into things she never expected.

Like Damon Salvatore, for instance.

Elena had been so deep in conversation with her friend Aaron that she had ran into him, knocking over both their books. They both started apologizing and dropping to the floor to gather up their things before they had even took notice of who the other person was. It was only when they both reached for the same notebook and Elena felt a familiar spark jolt her system that she looked up and saw those bright blue eyes staring back at her.

"Damon?"

He gave her a smile and she felt her heart tug. She missed those smiles, especially when they were aimed at her. "Hi Elena."

They both took their books and stood, moving towards a vacant wall so they weren't in the way of the rushing students and faculty. Aaron excused himself, rushing off to his next class, leaving the two of them alone in a crowded hallway. As they moved, she took notice of the small changes since the last time she had seen him. His build was more pronounced, his hair shorter, he was dressed a little better in a button up and slacks; no doubt for his internship or sports bradcasting classes.

"How have you been?" she blurted out.

He looked down. "Good. I've been great." Damon's eyes lifted up to hers. "You?"

Things had become so awkward between them. Even in those last few months when there was nothing but the two of them, they had been talking a little less and drifting a little more. Since then, they'd stuck to their arrangement, enjoying the physical. They were both still young, with plenty of time to evolve into something deeper. But lately the drifting had turned into distance and it had been months since she'd seen him. Thankfully, classes had kept her preoccupied mentally, but now with him so close, all she could think about was how much she'd missed him.

"Good. Busy." She began babbling. "With school and all. But you know how it is. Things have been hectic, really."

Damon seemed nervous, unsure. It was very unlike him. It had her wondering how much things could change, how easily relationships warped. What was once as natural as breathing, now felt strained. "Listen, I—"

Just as he was about to continue, he jolted and reached for his pocket, fishing out his phone. He stared at the screen and smiled. Elena felt the slime of jealousy pulse through her veins, despite their current distance. Something was going on and she very much believed it had to do with whoever was on the other side of the text.

"What were you saying?" she prodded.

His eyes jumped up to hers. "Uh," he began, "I actually have to go."

"Already?" She hated the disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah." He seemed just as disappointed, though there was a tinge of relief. "I'm late. It was, uh, great seeing you."

And then he was gone. No hug, no smile; no hint of the people they used to be. Damon just walked away as if she was just some girl he went to school with. Some old friend he just happened to run into while on his way to another class. When in reality, she'd been much more. Something meaningful. At least she liked to think so. His disinterest stung and she hated feeling that twinge of pain.

Thankfully, because of two long back to back classes, she was done for the day and didn't have to force herself to listen to lectures when her thoughts were consumed by Damon. In an attempt to drown them out, she turned on her phone as she headed to her car. There were several messages from Caroline to call her but Elena knew her friend was in class right now. So, instead she sent her a text asking what was wrong. It wasn't until she got in her car and quickly checked Facebook that she saw exactly what her best friend had been trying to prevent her from seeing.

The notification glared at her from its bold print, right on top of her news feed. It had been posted only the night before, long after she had been asleep.

**Damon Salvatore** is now in a relationship with **Charlotte Zima**.

And suddenly Damon's behavior after his phone vibrated made sense. It had been Charlotte.

Her own phone lit up with Caroline's smiling face as it vibrated frantically in her hand. She clicked to answer and heard Caroline's somber voice as she said, "Did you already check Facebook?"

Elena swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes. I saw."

"I'm so sorry, Elena. I found out last night. It happened during the baptism for Stefan's cousin."

Letting her head fall back against the headrest and her whole body sag, Elena replied, "I knew this would happen. They've been inseparable these past few months."

"Stefan said they would've started dating sooner but Damon was waiting for her to be in college."

Elena felt herself seethe. "Well, why did he wait the few months? Why not just go ahead and make it official the first day of school?"

"He's an idiot, Elena," Caroline said.

But the sad truth was he really wasn't. "It's my fault. All because of what happened with Nik. It was too much to forgive."

"No. You stop it right there, E," Caroline stated, her voice growing in agitation. "He started things back up with you. He led you on these past few years. You've been his late night booty call every week he wanted you. Be pissed. Do not play the victim. If he wanted to be with Charlotte he should've ended things with you."

"But he did. Maybe not outright, but those weekly hookups were getting few and far between until they just fizzled out. There wasn't even an ending. It just stopped."

Elena didn't even know what happened. They had been on and off so much these past few years it made her feel unsure of where they stood. When he had come back from Texas, everything seemed different. The guy who told her to listen to a song and think of him was long gone. She had played that song non-stop while he was away, letting it be her way of connecting with him despite the distance. Then Damon had come back and it was as if his emotional switch had been turned off.

Charlotte had only popped back into the picture the past year—as far as she knew. Damon had been busy and distant and that apparently left little time for dating and only enough time for sex. He would text her and she would rush over. That had been the extent of their relationship since the 4th of July. There were so many times when she wanted to blurt out her feelings and demand to know what was going on in his head but instead she remained quiet. It only made it harder when the moment Damon climaxed, he would start getting dressed and she would follow suit and leave with only a quiet goodbye.

She kept hoping the Damon she had seen on the Ferris wheel would return to her but he never did. Instead she watched as photos of him and Charlotte started popping up on Facebook with comments about being the best of buds. She watched as they grew closer and she remained a fuck buddy he saw when he was bored.

And then when they went from days to weeks to months without talking, she finally started to get the hint. Damon Salvatore was over her. He had moved on to someone else. Today had only reaffirmed it.

"Do you want to meet up? I can skip class," Caroline offered.

Elena looked out her dashboard. It had started to rain. How poetic. "No. I'm just going to head home."

"I'll come over right after. I promise."

Elena only responded with a mumbled "see you then" before hanging up and starting her car. She headed out of the parking lot and tried to focus on driving but her thoughts were all jumbled. All she could do was replay every moment her and Damon had shared since the moment they met. In the end, the very first thought she had ever had about him had turned out to be true.

That Damon Salvatore would break her heart.

* * *

"I'll see you tomorrow, babe," Damon whispered as he kissed Charlotte goodbye.

She smiled at him, elated at hearing the endearment. "I'll see you tomorrow, boyfriend."

As she hopped out of his car, he watched her go with a smile on his face. Just as she reached the doorknob and twisted it open, she looked over her shoulder and gave him a little wave. He wiggled his fingers and watched her disappear safely inside. As the door closed shut, Damon put his car in drive and eased on the gas driving away from Charlotte's home.

He wasn't sure if it was habit or some kind of pull, but Damon found himself weaving the familiar path towards Elena's home. She only lived a few blocks away from Charlotte since Mystic Falls was such a small town and it wasn't long before her wraparound porch greeted him. She had been on his mind constantly since he bumped into her in the hallway and if he was being honest with himself she popped into his head at least once a day.

Their paths just seemed to be filled with forks in the road and they always seemed to be pointed in different paths. It hadn't been easy to pull himself away from her. It had only been necessary after seeing just how much he missed her when he had been away. That final day with her before he left had shown him that they could work but his time away only reminded him of all the reasons they couldn't.

Damon's mind was constantly bringing up the image of her with _him_. It was something he couldn't shake. It plagued his dreams and sunk him into the worst kind of mood. It was only when his cousins had cornered him and a long talk ensued that he realized falling in love shouldn't be this hard. He should trust and want to be with the girl he's falling for. Not have to constantly wonder whether she's screwing someone else, not having to take things slow after waiting so long to be with her.

So when he came home, he tried to keep his distance. But that had failed miserably when he realized just how much he missed her. So, he kept it physical and any time he felt his heart overpowering his head he would pull back. It was a constant push and pull and he was shocked at how long she had stuck with him.

Somewhere along the way, Charlotte's presence had become more present. She went from being a girl he talked to on occasion to someone he was talking to non-stop. They started hanging out, completely platonic, and then one night she had kissed him. When it happened he wasn't sure how he felt, but Charlotte hadn't pushed him. Instead she headed home and Damon was left to figure out exactly what his thoughts were about it. Then a kind of peace overcame him. Things with Charlotte were moving along the way they should be. They got along great and she really understood him. It seemed the natural way of things.

And so he found himself involved with two women and unsure of how to handle things. Elena was an occasional fuck buddy at best and he and Charlotte were steadily headed towards relationship territory. Once she was out of high school and the only existing barrier besides his feelings for Elena between them fell away, he found himself wondering why they hadn't made it official.

That's when he had decided to distance himself from Elena. He didn't talk to her for days then weeks then months and when he was certain that he could commit to Charlotte, he did. It just happened to occur the night before he would bump into Elena after being away from her for months. Those urges were still there. He still felt drawn to her in a way he never had with anyone else. It had him forgetting he wasn't single. And that was dangerous.

It was only when Charlotte had texted him that the spell had been broken and he was reminded of his commitments, and that he knew he had to get out of there. Only to now find himself breaking those commitments again. He was pretty sure Charlotte wouldn't be okay with him being parked outside Elena's house staring at her darkened window.

Just when he was about to do the right thing and drive away, he saw her bedroom light turn on and Elena appear at the window with something held between her hands. She was staring at the moon and he could only watch her as he prayed she wouldn't take notice of the familiar Camaro parked near her house.

He looked on as her eyes downcasted to the object in her hands and as he watched her face illuminate, Damon knew immediately it was her phone. After a few seconds Elena's gaze drifted back to the moon just as his own phone vibrated on his dash. Damon picked it up and read the message.

**From Elena:** _I guess congratulations are in order…_

His eyes lifted up to her as her shoulder slumped and she seemed to sigh as she stared up at the moon.

Damon typed back.

_Yeah. Thanks._

He brought his head down to the steering wheel and banged his head repeatedly. What a fucking stupid response. Turning his head towards Elena, he saw her look down at her phone and expel her breath, clearly annoyed. Damon couldn't blame her. It was a heartless response. He just honestly didn't know how to respond.

She started typing and her answer came to him seconds after she finished.

_Why couldn't you tell me?_

Damon stared at the screen, thinking up a reply and could only type out one thing. It was as honest as he could be. It was what he owed her.

_It just happened. Who knows how long it will last…_

Now, not only was he a heartless asshole to Elena, but he clearly didn't think much of his relationship with Charlotte. He watched as Elena furiously stood up and walked away from her window, away from his view. Then his phone vibrated with her response.

_No. Don't do that. It's not fair to me or her. You picked her. You chose her. Be with her._

He sighed. Everything she was saying was true. He had chosen Charlotte over Elena without even meaning to. He had chosen the moment he came back from Texas. He did it the moment he let Charlotte become a bigger part of his life while he pushed Elena aside and completely disrespected her and what they had. Elena deserved to move on and he had to tell her as much.

_I'll leave you alone then._

Her reply came quick.

_Good idea. I think we both know I need to get over you._

And with one last look at her window just as she turned off the light, he drove away from her house and left behind all the unanswered questions about where they would be now if they had loved each other first.

* * *

_May 2012…_

* * *

"I can't believe you're engaged!" Elena squealed, clutching Caroline's hand and staring at the massive rock on her finger.

Caroline was practically jumping up and down much to the enjoyment of the male patrons of the bar who could only stare at the bride to be. Or maybe stare was the wrong word. Leer was more like it. Perverts.

The blonde bombshell was oblivious. She was lost in her own bubble of happiness that played "Stefan and Caroline sitting in a tree" on loop. The last thing on her mind was the prying eyes of onlookers staring at her as she danced around and screamed. "I know! He passed his MCATs and we were out celebrating and he just popped the question! Can you believe it?"

"Stefan taking a night about him and making it the biggest night of your life? Nope. Not at all," she replied sarcastically.

Caroline pulled her hand away and admired her ring. "Oh, stop! You're not bringing me down from my high! I have the greatest fiancée in the world!" Her eyes grew wide and she giggled as her hand covered her mouth. "Oh my god! That's the first time I referred to him as _my_ fiancée. Stefan Salvatore is _my_ fiancée!"

"I know!" Elena squealed, completely ecstatic for her best friend. Of course she had found out a few days before when Stefan had brought her to Tiffany's to pick out the ring. She had been surprised at the timing of it all. From what Caroline had told her, the two of them were waiting until Stefan made residency four years from now. Once Stefan told her that he just couldn't wait any longer she immediately knew why. He had wanted her opinion on it but in the end he hadn't needed it. Stefan knew exactly what Caroline loved and he had picked a ring that was no doubt her dream ring. The two of them were perfect for each other. "You're about to become Mrs. Salvatore!"

It was crazy how quickly they had grown up. Stefan was busy becoming a doctor, Caroline was the right hand of one of the top party planners in Virginia, Bonnie was off traveling the world with her grandmother after graduating with a teaching degree, and Elena had secured a job with the Mystic Falls Historical Society preserving historical artifacts. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

If possible Caroline screamed louder. Elena wasn't sure how every glass in the pub wasn't shattered. Caroline just grabbed Elena's hands and said, "You'll be my maid of honor, right? Please say yes."

"Of course!" Elena replied, a smile all her own. "I am responsible for the two of you getting together."

"You _and_ Damon," Caroline said offhand, downing her glass and asking the bartender for another.

The sound of his name pierced her heart like an arrow. It wasn't like his name hadn't come up in the past few years, but no amount of times could make it any easier. They had managed to keep their distance since that bump in the hallway despite going to the same college and graduating on the same day. He had been only a section over and she had been surprised to see him. She had wondered why there had never been a Facebook post last year about his graduation and now the answer was clear. It had taken him longer than four years to get here. As she had been leaving to find her family, she caught sight of him hugging his friends and smiling for photos. She couldn't make herself go over to him and it killed her.

He was still with Charlotte after all these years, so maybe, despite what he thought, it was going to last. She had been forced to move on and had the occasional boyfriend but nothing ever seemed to stick.

But she wasn't about to bring down Caroline with her issues. So, instead of letting the sound of his name get to her, she played it off like it didn't matter at all. "But let's be honest here. The whole operation had been _my_ idea."

"But it was my game that cinched the deal," said a familiar voice.

Elena turned around to see Damon standing behind her with Stefan by his side. Her heart practically skipped a beat. Several to be exact. The sight of him standing there dressed in dark faded jeans and a black button up looking like bottled sex was more than her fragile heart could take. The fact that he brought up the game that brought on their first kiss nearly did her in.

Thankfully, Caroline broke the contact by racing between them and jumping into Stefan's arms. "Fiancée!" she screamed as her legs popped and Stefan lifted her up for a kiss.

"I missed you," Stefan replied, when Caroline finally let him up for air.

"You two are sickeningly adorable," Elena joked, sipping her drink and mocking a disgusted face.

"Emphasis on the sickening," Damon added, approaching the bar and ordering bourbon for himself and a beer for Stefan.

With his arm still around Caroline, Stefan punched his brother in the gut with his free hand and grabbed hold of his beer. "Maybe I should rethink my decision of best man."

Elena's ears perked up. "You're the best man?"

Damon nodded and then looked at her with a tilt of his head. He pointed his finger at her with the hand holding his tumbler of bourbon. "Maid of honor?"

Elena nodded. "Yup."

"Oh, this is going to be trouble," Damon replied with a smirk, taking a big gulp of his drink.

She matched him, taking a gulp of her own. _You have no idea._


	16. Chapter 15:Skin Was Showin', Hot Night

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A huge thank you and tacklehug to my peach of a friend Morgan (morvamp) for beta reading and proofreading this chapter. If you haven't already (and even if you have!) please read all of her stories! She's honestly one of the most talented fanfic writers this fandom has! She even got a teaser and now TRAILER(!) for her fic Claiming Hearts and Spaces! So, definitely check that out!**

**As easily as this chapter came to me it was a very difficult part and my anxiety was at a high. I hope it comes across how I want it to so share your thoughts in a review. And without further ado…**

* * *

_May 26__th__, 2012…_

* * *

"Elena! Stop splashing me!"

Damon turned his head to see that Caroline was absolutely soaking wet with lake water. The whole group of them were down by the lake, getting an early start to summer. It had been Stefan's idea because of his lack of free time lately and Damon was all too happy to get a break from being an intern and actually get his own drinks for once.

Unfortunately getting together with Stefan and Caroline these days came along with the possibility of being around Elena. He hadn't exactly gotten used to her being back in his life, even if it was just for the sake of an impending wedding. It had been his own fault that their friendship had ended and things still seemed awkward between them despite the recent influx of their time together. Damon just kept to himself and tried not to communicate with her too much. The last thing he needed was to cause a huge blowup and ruin the perfect wedding Caroline had been planning.

Those thoughts were squashed as a fresh wave of water came right at him from Caroline's hands. In her attempt to splash her friend, she had managed to get Damon instead. The blonde giggled as Damon pushed aside the droplets of water from his face and glared. "You're dead, Blondie!"

Damon swam toward his future sister in law and, with outstretched hands, dunked Caroline into the lake water. When the blonde resurfaced, her hair had completely covered her face and she looked like a drenched rat. Caroline pushed aside the curtain of her hair and went to tackle Damon, but the sound of Stefan calling out her name halted her attack.

During the fighting, Elena must have swam towards the shore because she was now standing up on the hill with her hands wrapped around a long rope hung from a tree. He couldn't help but balk at her. Her body was even more fit than he remembered. The contrast of the bright blue of her tiny bikini against her tan skin had him mesmerized. When his eyes finally drifted up towards her face, the smile alighting it tugged at his heart. Not only was she gorgeous but the girl had a smile and personality that would have any guy going to war for her.

Elena edged back with the rope and prepared to swing. Despite himself, Damon found himself cheering along with Caroline and Stefan as they began to count down. With one quick jump up, Elena swung over the lake and then let go, barreling into the murky water, sending up a splash and a ripple effect that hit the group. When she emerged it happened for him in slow motion. The water fell away to reveal this stunning girl that had stolen his heart once upon a time and he could only stare in awe as each inch of her glistening wet skin appeared.

A splash of water snapped him out of it. Damon turned to see Stefan staring at him with narrowed eyes. With a shrug, Damon went to return the splash only to be halted with a look. Stefan merely mouthed, "That ship has sailed," before swimming towards Caroline and wrapping his arms around her. Blondie giggled at his touch and practically melted into him. It was gross.

And yet, he remembered once upon a time when Elena would do that to him and how his heart had soared.

"They're so cute together, aren't they?" he heard a familiar voice say beside him.

He turned to see Elena beside him, her wet brown hair pushed back from her face. He gave a little smile. Despite the ick factor of their quote unquote cuteness, he had to admit it was great to see his brother so happy. "Unfortunately, yeah."

Elena let out a little laugh. "Why unfortunately?"

"Because it's like living in a rom-com twenty-four-seven."

She nodded, seemingly in agreement. "Yeah. But from what I remember, you enjoyed a good romantic comedy now and then. You would watch _Cinderella Story_ every night for two weeks straight."

Damon laughed in remembrance. He had annoyed Elena to no end with the constant loud quoting as she focused on her phone instead of the TV. "That CMM was a dream boat."

Elena rolled her eyes. Then seemed to have realized something. "Was?"

"He broke Sophia's heart. I can't stand the sight of him," he dramatically said.

With a bark of a laugh, Elena shook her head. "You're so ridiculous."

"And we're talking," Damon blurted out, instantly regretting it. He hated bringing the awkwardness to attention of blatantly stating just how aware he was of the quick shift in their relationship. Even if it had been all his fault, that didn't mean he didn't miss the role she had played in his life.

Her eyes drifted down and she quieted. A simple, "yeah," was all she said.

"Caroline will be happy about that," Damon said and then added a quieter, "Us talking."

"She's been worried about that," Elena replied, eyes still focused on the water and her hands. She had been resting them against the water just barely touching the ripples. "But I think we can be adults about this. For them."

Elena's focus had shifted to where Caroline and Stefan were embraced, staring into each other's eyes like they were the only two people floating in the otherwise crowded lake.

"For them," he repeated. He had the urge to say something, change this. He missed her so desperately it was pulling him towards her. When Elena had drifted over they had been far apart and now their skin was close to brushing. Damon couldn't figure out why he needed to mend this rift he had caused, especially when there was someone else in his life, but he knew he needed Elena in his life, in some way. "Elena, I…"

At his pause, Elena's eyes had focused on him so quickly that he felt the jolt of it. The power those brown eyes still held over him. They were breathtaking.

He started again. "I…"

But this time it wasn't Elena staring at him or his own stupidity preventing the words from coming out. No. He couldn't manage words about how sorry he was and how stupid and disrespectful he had been because he could hear the sound of his name being carried over the crowd.

Damon's head snapped up and he spotted Charlotte up on the bank. She was dressed in a blue and white stripped bikini and had a baseball cap on her head. She waved at him and he found himself waving back, smiling despite himself, despite the moment and the feelings he had just been experiencing. Still, he could feel himself being torn in half. One part of him wanting to make things right with Elena and pour his heart out, explain everything. The other part was hardened by the past and wanted to cut ties with it and race to Charlotte.

The cowardly part won. Yet again.

He gave her a quick smile and began to move towards Charlotte. The girl he was dating. His girlfriend. Something he seemed to have forgotten in these few moments. He mumbled an apology towards Elena as he distanced from her and then something happened.

She reached out to him.

The touch jolted him, sending a livewire of sparks through his system. He turned his head towards her and found a similar look on her face as she stared at where her hand met with his arm.

"We'll get along for Caroline," she finally said, voice quiet and vulnerable. "We can manage being acquaintances, right?"

He wanted to say more but with Charlotte waiting for him and the past pulling at him he only managed a simple. "Yeah. We can do that."

And with a short nod, she broke the connection and swam away from him towards where Caroline and Stefan were now talking with a group of swimmers. He stared after her for a moment before making his way towards Charlotte. Each of them going their separate ways yet again.

When he reached Charlotte and planted a firm kiss on her awaiting lips he found himself trying to quiet the running thoughts playing on a loop in his head. Charlotte seemed oblivious to it, tugging on his hand and asking him to lather her up with sunscreen. He did as he was asked, even letting his hands stray as he rubbed the lotion on to her skin. Damon was amazed at his own skills in multitasking.

Because while he was completely in the moment with his girlfriend, the girl he loved, he also found himself being drawn to where Elena was. She was laughing, smiling, full of life, and completely oblivious to the thoughts going on his head. These thoughts that threatened his relationship with the girl who was now kissing his neck and asking about his day.

How could he be so in love with one girl while still being completely pulled towards another?

* * *

_June 18th, 2012…_

* * *

_Open the door_, Elena texted with a heavy sigh.

She didn't understand why she had to be the one to drop off the wedding party itinerary to Damon when Caroline and Stefan were perfectly capable. But, no, since she had left their apartment and was headed back to Mystic Falls, that meant she was the one responsible for making sure the best man knew what would be expected of him during these crazy months of wedding planning.

Basically Elena couldn't refuse Caroline's pouty face, especially when she added in puppy dog eyes for good measure.

So, she had texted Damon letting him know—or rather making sure that there wouldn't be a run in with Charlotte—and had driven over here. She hadn't stepped foot in his house since before things had become too complicated between them. All their sexcapades had taken place on surfaces and back seats. Never once on a bed. Not once at either of their childhood homes.

Elena didn't want to be here. Not with Damon when he was dating Charlotte. Not with the conflicting emotions that were brewing inside her since he had been forced back into her life. They had been navigating the awkward interactions as best they could and had managed to create some kind of acquaintance despite everything. Now it would just be him and her and an empty house.

Yeah, she wouldn't dare cross that threshold with a non-available Damon Salvatore waiting for her on the other end.

Damon was in a relationship and she had moved on, even though seeing him had challenged those feelings. It wasn't like she expected anything to happen, that Damon would even do that to Charlotte, but she wasn't about to tempt it. Being alone with Damon was just not a good idea. It could turn into a fight or worse. And that was the last thing Caroline needed.

Then Damon opened the door.

"Doorknob not working, Elena?" he smirked. He was dressed in only a pair of lose fitted basketball shorts, hanging low on his hips, the hint of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs clinging to his tanned skin. It was a sight she hadn't seen in a very long time and it had her mouth going dry and her heart pounding in her chest. Not to mention the wetness pooling between her thighs.

He knew she was coming. He was doing this on purpose. In a bored tone, she replied, "No, I'm sure it's working fine. I just don't have time to stay." She shifted uncomfortably. Damn, if that smile of his wasn't making her knees weak.

"Oh, come on. Come in," he pleaded. "I was just watching some basketball. We can mock this itinerary together."

Elena wasn't sure whether it was the curiosity of being back in his home or the teasing smile he gave her, but it had her feet moving forward, doing the very thing she had promised herself she wouldn't do.

Damon's smile was childlike as she walked past him. He closed the door behind her and took hold of the folded paper in her hand as he led her towards the family room. "Do you want anything to drink?" he asked.

She shook her head and walked towards the couch, taking a seat and keeping her head trained on the television and _not_ on Damon's six pack. He brought his beer to his mouth as he read over the list of events Caroline had planned for "bridal party bonding" and she couldn't help but watch from the corner of her eye as his eyes grew wider and wider with each get together.

"What the fuck is tea time?" Damon questioned.

Letting out a bark of a laugh, Elena replied, "That's for the bridesmaids. The boys are going golfing." She leaned over to him and pointed to just underneath–where the time and golf course was listed. The air was thick and she took a gulp of it. Damon stiffed as her arm brushed against his. She was much closer now and for some unknown reason, he'd held still. That was when she felt Damon smell her hair and relax.

That wasn't good.

Quickly and carefully, she maneuvered herself away from him and said, "There's a Bride vs. Groom obstacle course scheduled right before the bridal shower. That'll be right up your alley."

Damon blinked a few times as he watched her before looking back down at the paper, searching for the event she had pointed out. "Ha! Flip cup and slip and slide? That's what I'm talking about!"

"Do I know you or what?" she giggled.

It had seemed like such an innocent comment, but Damon suddenly looked at her steadily. She felt that unease again, the tension building and suffocating her. He wasn't supposed to look at her that way anymore. A part of her wished that she had moved further away so that his face wasn't so close. The other part wanted her to inch closer to get a taste.

"Yeah," Damon finally said. "You do."

He was wearing way too little clothing to be looking at her the way he was and saying things the way he did. Elena couldn't catch her breath and she didn't like the way this was turning. She had been expecting a fight or something. The last thing she saw happening was this.

Damon had been with Charlotte nearly three years. From what Caroline had told her and what she had seen on social media, and from that brief time she had witnessed them together at the lake, they were happy. Guys that were happy in their relationship didn't look at other women the way Damon was looking at her.

And she wasn't about to wait around and see if he acted on it.

"Well," she said as she broke the connection and stood up, making her way to the door. "You have the itinerary and I have to head home."

"You sure?" Damon said, and his voice was rough and deep and unbelievably sexy.

Yup. She was fucking sure. "Yeah." Elena couldn't think of a reason, she just needed to go.

Without waiting to look if Damon was following her, she headed towards the door. Just as she was about to reach for the knob and call out a goodbye she felt him standing behind her. Neither of them said a word. She just felt him close to her. There were whispers of his skin against her own, connecting with each time they drew in a shaky breath. It was driving her insane and even though she knew she should leave, she couldn't move.

The touch of his fingers ghosted along her arms and she could hear the sound of her own breath becoming shallow, the echo of his racing heartbeat filling her ears. She was afraid to move, afraid of pushing this any farther, but craving his touch nonetheless. She was full of contradictions and confusion and her head was battling with her heart, body, soul.

Then in a breath, the energy charged and she felt the electricity between them build and build until there were only two choices. She either had to grab hold of the door and escape or grab hold of Damon and fall into the abyss.

He made the decision for her, grabbing hold of her body from behind and pulling her to him. His hands groped her curves and his mouth kissed along her neck, sending fire through her veins, burning away all thoughts of morals and common sense. Elena lost the ability to think, react… _do_ anything but focus on how it good it felt. He knew all of her spots and he took advantage of them, causing a weakness in her legs which he supported by strengthening his hold on her. Elena cried out as she felt how hard he was against her backside.

"I remember how much you love my lips against your neck like this," he whispered as he placed a hot, opened-mouthed kiss right where her pulse thrummed along with her panting breath. His hand reached up and squeezed her breast over her shirt and Elena released a throaty moan that brought out a growl in Damon voice as he spoke. "God, I missed your sounds."

A name was trying to fight its way through the haze, reminding her of why this was all so very wrong. Trying to get her to stop before she was in too deep. Charlotte. "Stop!" Elena suddenly called out, breathless and rough. It seemed to do the trick because Damon quickly released her, nearly sending her face first towards the hardwood floor. She corrected herself and turned around to see Damon standing in front of her, chest heaving with the lack of release.

Elena's eyes darkened as she took in the frantic state of him. She wanted him. Her body called to him. But Damon hadn't chosen her. He was with Charlotte and that meant they couldn't do this. This had been so, _so_ wrong. Why the hell did it have to feel so right?

"What's wrong?" Damon asked, brows furrowed and a cute little confused look on his face.

She balked at him. "You're with someone else, Damon. We can't be doing this."

"Why not?" he asked as he stepped closer to her. "Have I lost my touch?"

With wide eyes, she said, "Are you kidding me?"

"I'll take that as a no," he smirked.

Elena's eyes narrowed. Her mind was swimming. He was playing a dangerous game and he was luring her back in. "You have lost your touch. You used to leave me speechless and clearly I'm formulating full sentences together."

Damon's face lit up as he looked at her. Her body was clearly affected by his assault and yet somehow she had the boldness to roll that lie off her tongue. It had come from her need to keep Damon from knowing the full effect he had on her, even if the evidence was more than a little obvious. As long as she kept this little dance verbal, she could stop both of them from making any more mistakes.

Looking down at her, he said, "So, I've lost my touch? Interesting. Because I seem to remember your knees giving out when I kissed your neck."

Her eyes dropped to his lips, tongue sticking out to wet them. "Stop it, Damon," she whispered.

"No, Elena." His eyes grew serious, angry even. "For once, give me some honesty. I think I deserve it."

Elena looked up and met his fiery gaze. He was inches from her. One move forward would bring her lips to his. With that one forward movement her hands could roam the plains of his chest and her body could find the relief it now desperately needed. The only thing stopping her was her morals. The morals that reminded her that the action of kissing him, touching him, would be a betrayal to Charlotte. She would be helping Damon cheat on his girlfriend and that didn't sit well with her.

And yet, having him this close, drinking him in, inhaling his scent, clouded up her mind to the point where it couldn't differentiate between right and wrong. And at this point it was practically chanting one thing.

_Fuck morals._

She moved forward, wrapped her arms around his neck and crashed her mouth against his. He accepted greedily, reaching for her legs and pulling them around his waist. Together they fell to the ground and her back met the bristled fabric of an oriental rug. She didn't even have time to mutter out a sarcastic comment before she was distracted by his hands sliding down her body, across the flatness of her tummy and underneath the waist of her yoga pants.

As he kissed down her neck, along her collarbone, and pulled aside the collar of her to kiss down the valley of her breasts, Elena found herself talking nonsense in order to rein in the array of thoughts jumbling around her head. She had never done anything like this before and her mind didn't know how to wrap its head around it. "So, about that basketball game?" she questioned, her voice only a breathy whisper.

Damon mumbled against her now bare stomach as he lifted up her tank top. "It's still going on. The offense has control and is definitely moving forward."

Elena laughed. He was teasing her, trying to get her out of her head and bring her down to this moment, to his mouth on her. "I don't know. The defense is pretty good at blocking offenses."

Now it was his turn to laugh, a hearty chuckle that vibrated against her skin. Without a reply, he pulled down her pants and pushed aside her underwear, letting his probing tongue meet the velvet flesh between her thighs. Elena moaned, arching her back and tugging at her own hair with frantic hands. Her thoughts had vanished and all she could focus on was Damon flicking his tongue against her clit and curling his fingers inside her.

"You were saying," he mumbled, nipping at her bud.

She frantically pulled him towards her as she felt her body tensing, coiling towards release. Her tongue swirled with his, tasting herself against his tongue. Damon's hands moved to pull her yoga pants off her ankles and tugged her panties free with one swift pull. He then brought her legs around his waist as he lifted her and carried her over towards the dining room table. With her butt safely on the cool wooden surface and Damon standing between her spread legs, he removed her shirt and bra, making her completely naked for him. Then they kissed for what seemed like hours. It overwhelmed her to the point of desperation, her hands were relearning the new feel of Damon, with his broader shoulders and his harder muscles. He was no longer the sinewy boy she once knew. This was the body belonging to a man.

With the push of his palm against her chest, Elena laid down against the table. She looked up at him and he stared at her, amazed before taking a seat between her legs and pulling her towards him, eager to finish what he started. Elena briefly protested, feeling completely exposed, before all she could focus on was his tongue inside of her. Her hands drifted upwards, needing something to hold and were met with a glass cake holder in the center of the table. She pushed it aside, not wanting to shatter the thing and quickly grabbed hold of Damon's hair.

Her hips rocked in union with his tongue as she chased that tightening deep in her underbelly. Breathy gasps escaped her as his hands grabbed hold of her thighs and then slid towards her ass, pulling her closer to him. Spasms shook her body as she cried his name and came undone.

Damon dragged her lazy body towards him so that she rested on his lap and began spreading soft butterfly kisses along her shoulders as her head lolled forward. When her energy came back to her, she pressed her mouth to his neck and brought out deep moans from the man beneath her. Her hips started grinding against his and Damon began to fidget, wanting the material between them long gone.

"I need to be inside you," he moaned, causing Elena to freeze. She slowly pulled back and met his eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. This had all gone by in a fantastic blur, allowing her to only focus on what she needed. But with Damon words, reality snapped back, dowsing her in a bucket of cold water. They may have kissed and touched and done other things, but actually having sex was a different matter entirely and she wasn't sure she could do that.

"What's wrong?" Damon asked, sensing the debate brewing within her.

With her hands rubbing soothing patterns on his arms, Elena mumbled, "Nothing."

He hesitated a moment before leaning forward and saying, "You're still a good person."

Elena let out a halting laugh. "Yeah, and you're a bad influence."

His hands reached forward and cradled her face, his eyes staring at her kiss-swollen lips. "I'm not doing anything unless you ask for it, Elena. You didn't do anything. I kissed you. I buried my fingers inside you, I went down on you and—"

"I don't need a play-by-play," Elena stated, her cheeks reddening.

"You know what I mean," Damon said. "I'm the one at fault here. I'm the one who isn't…"

She didn't need him to finish the sentence. Elena was already well aware that Damon wasn't single, that he was in a serious relationship with someone who wasn't her. "But I let you," she finally said. "And it was me who leaned forward and kissed you after I had tried to stop this."

It had to stop. They couldn't do this. While she may not exactly be close to Charlotte, that didn't make this okay. She didn't deserve this. So with a shake of her head, she removed herself from Damon's lap and walked over to the couch, burying her face in her hands. She felt the cushion shift and knew that he had moved beside her. Damon remained silent, letting her work out her feelings. The problem was, even she knew what the right thing to do was, but she couldn't make herself stop. She already knew what she wanted. It had already been worked out a long time ago. It was just a matter of pushing aside what she knew was right and plowing on ahead anyways.

Lifting her head, she looked up at Damon, who was just staring at her, appearing just as conflicted as she was. Could she really even say the words and do this to both of them? They had reached this point where everything seemed fine. They were over it. And yet, by what had started tonight, it was clear to her it really wasn't.

And she didn't want it to stop.

"I want you," she stated, looking him square in the eyes. Without another word, she reached towards him and pulled down his shorts and boxer briefs and straddled him. As she settled on top of him, fisting him and positioning him right at her entrance, she firmly stated, "Screw the consequences. I want you, Damon. I've always wanted you. Just you."

At his slow, creeping smile, she eased down and enveloped him. It was indescribable. It had been years since they had been like this, doing the one thing that they couldn't mess up. This was where they lost themselves and spoke without words. It was when they were moving together as one that the hidden feelings they both fought against finally came out.

It had her wondering why they ever fought against this at all. This was right, even when it was wrong.

She moved against him as he kissed and kneaded her breasts, stroked her bundle of nerves, pushing her closer and closer with each thrust of their hips. The feeling of him moving inside of her only increased her need for him. She grew more feral, more greedy, more of everything for him. They christened every damn surface of the main floor of his house. Until she flipped her body around and let him take her bent over the very table that he had pleasured her with that talented tongue of his. Damon muttered cruses and praises about her ass as he watched himself disappear inside of her.

Then when their bodies could take it now longer Damon sat down and let her take charge, letting her hips guide them towards release. She tightened around him and whispered orders of harder and faster until they finally came together, years of rejection and hurt being forgotten in one last thrust.

"That was…" Elena faded off against his shoulder, utterly spent.

"Just as amazing as I remember," Damon finished.

She nipped along his jaw as he pushed back her hair. Then he brought her mouth to his and gave her a slow, languid kiss. She was still inside of him and she didn't look forward to the moment that the connection would break.

Her eyes drifted downwards to where Damon's hands were drawing lazy circles on her hips. When she looked back up, his eyes were on her, watching her, studying her with that entranced gaze of his. She was completely vulnerable under that gaze; more vulnerable than she had been while laying completely naked on his dining room table with his face between her thighs.

It was like he was seeing right through every pretense she had ever put up. The very power of that gaze had her remembering the situation they had both found themselves in. Damon had just, was still, cheating on Charlotte. And it was with her. The very girl he had used and abused and disrespected ever since his return from Texas. She had promised herself she would never do this again and yet here she was, naked on his lap.

And Damon was still looking at her.

"You're with Charlotte," she whispered.

He nodded. "I am."

"You've been with her for three years. How did this happen?"

Damon reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You were there. You should remember."

Elena's eyes narrowed. "Damon," she chided.

He took a deep, conflicted breath. "Do we have to deal with this now? What happened; happened."

"But what happens now?"

Damon's response was to kiss her. He brought his mouth to hers, hard and rough, taking the breath from her and making her mind hazy. They needed to talk, but right now as she felt him growing hard inside her she could focus on little else. Her hips began to grind against him again and all thoughts of the future, the past, disappeared into this moment. The mess they had just created, the consequences that would follow, and thoughts of Charlotte vanished with his kiss.

That could all be dealt with tomorrow.


	17. Chapter 16: Hard To Be Faithful

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A huge, huge, HUGE thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for helping me with this chapter. It was rewritten several times because it just didn't feel right and then she finally helped me out in a HUGE way and talked me into added the last part of this chapter instead of jumping ahead in time again. So you have her to thank for Drunk!Damon! You should thank her by reading all her stories and telling her how amazing they are!**

* * *

_He had sex with Elena._

That fact had played out over and over in his head along with an array of images to prove it. Damon couldn't believe it had even gotten to this point. Elena had breezed back into his life and he found himself wondering how he had survived the past few years of his life without her. At one point in time Elena had been his best friend, the person he went to with everything. Then she had become his everything. Then he had pushed her away and she had become some girl he used to know. The stark switch of roles was like whiplash but he had managed. Now he was only reminded that it seemed to be all he was doing.

As he sat there nursing a beer and waiting for Ric to show up, he could only replay the night again and again. Elena being so close and smelling so good had made him lose control. He'd been so cocky, so confident, so completely sure that he needed Elena that night. He'd thrown away all thoughts of consequences, all thoughts of what this could do to them both. What it would do to Charlotte. In that one moment he had reverted back to the playboy he had been before Elena had come along.

He'd become the guy who cheated on his girlfriend of three years with the girl he was helplessly in love with.

Last night he had been so caught up in the moment with her, so ecstatic to just have her back in his arms. But now the guilt ate at him. Elena had been right to stop it. Both times. Yet he had plowed ahead anyways, had welcomed her frenzied kisses when she pounced on him. Elena was not in the wrong; she was single. But Damon… he was a fucking asshole.

Charlotte didn't deserve what he had done to her. Neither did Elena.

Something about Elena being back in his life had made him selfish. Stupid, even.

"Starting happy hour a little early?" Damon turned around to see Ric walking towards him. His best friend slapped his back before taking the seat beside him. "Not that I won't join you."

Ric got the barkeeps attention and ordered them both a beer. The moment after Ric took his first sip, his eyes turned towards Damon and he raised his brow in question.

"Thanks for coming," was all Damon said.

Ric shook his head. "I'm all for getting the party started a little early but even noon is a bit too close to morning for me. I'm still buzzed from last night."

Damon shrugged. "They say beer is the perfect cure to a hangover."

"You know who says that? Drunks!" Ric let out a laugh. "So, it's perfect for us."

With a quiet laugh, Damon nodded and took a sip of his beer. He knew he needed to get the story of what happened last night out. Ric was his best confidant, but he just didn't know where to start. Ric had been there in the beginning when he had been falling for Elena without even realizing it, but he had also seen how happy he was with Charlotte. How did you even confess something like this?

"What were you up to last night?" Ric asked, already down to a quarter of his beer.

It was the moment of truth. Literally. "That's actually the reason for the day drinking."

"I figured there would be."

With a deep breath, Damon just went for it. "I slept with Elena last night."

Ric paused mid sip and looked at Damon wide, shocking eyes. "You're shitting me?"

"No," he shook his head. "I wish I was."

"Fuck," Ric muttered. "How did that happen?"

How did he even begin? "She came over because Caroline had something for me and then one thing led to another."

Ric was already shaking his head. "No. You don't just cheat on a woman you love that easily. I'm not buying it."

Chugging the remaining contents of his beer, Damon slammed the bottle on the bar with a grunt. "It's not like I planned this! Elena was there and it was just the two of us and she looked so fucking good. I lost it. She was close to me and I forgot all about Charlotte. All I could focus on was Elena and the fact that it's been years since we've been together. And that when we were, it was the best fucking time of my life."

He remembered Elena showing up and how even though he had been shirtless and noticed the intake of her breath and the way her eyes traveled down his torso, he hadn't planned it. Elena had just happened to text him while he was lounging in front of the TV after a workout and he had forgotten to put on a shirt. It had been convenient really. Then the next thing he knew, she was sitting next to him—or rather leaning over him to point something out, and suddenly all thoughts of Charlotte and the fact that he was off the market got pushed aside and he was pushing himself inside of her.

It wasn't until Elena had left that the guilt washed over him.

He walked upstairs to his bedroom and lay down on his bed and stared up at the pictures of Charlotte and himself taped above him, and he felt absolutely suffocated by what he had done.

"This is fucked up, Damon." Alaric stared him down before grunting and bringing his beer to his lips. "I thought you were over this Elena crap."

Damon slid his empty bottle back and forth between his hands. "I thought I was too."

_But clearly I'm not_, was what he thought.

Would he ever be over Elena? All it took was one meetup in the hallway all those years ago to have him stalking her, one glance at her nearly naked body the other day to have him hooked. One whiff of her hair to have him yearning to be inside her. Had he merely been pushing aside his feelings for Elena in the same way he had pushed aside thoughts of Charlotte last night?

"What are you going to do about it?" Ric questioned gruffly.

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it? "I don't know."

Ric sighed. "Do you want to be with Elena?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to stay with Charlotte?"

"I don't know," he sighed. He loved her. He had for the past three years. Charlotte had come right into his life when he needed her the most. She had been a friend, a listening ear, and when they had kissed for the first time it just felt right. Being with Charlotte wasn't full of the drama that Elena brought. It was easy, simple. They understood each other.

But clearly he had fucked up last night. And he wasn't sure what that said about him and his relationship.

"Well you gotta know something here, Damon. It's a pretty fucked up situation with a lot of feelings involved."

Damon knew this was why he had decided to vent to Ric. The guy didn't pussyfoot around the situation. He told it how it was and didn't worry about keeping his opinion to himself. That was exactly what he needed right now when he was being pulled in two different directions and wasn't sure where he really wanted to be. He knew what he had done was wrong and he needed his best friend to be fucking Jiminy Cricket and be his guide.

"My own included," Damon added.

His friend nodded, ordering them another round. "You need to answer two questions for me." Damon met his gaze. "The first one being: Are you still in love with Elena?"

He remained quiet for a moment before finally voicing something he had tried to keep hidden, even from himself, for many years now. "Yes."

Ric didn't even seemed surprised by the answer. He had probably known it all along. "Have you forgiven her yet for what happened with Nik?"

It was amazing how quickly the anger came; along with the images he had conjured up of the two of them together. Of Elena moaning above him, of her withering underneath him and crying out his name. It was almost cruel and he could feel his hands turning into fists and his breathing spiking. It was this very thing that prevented them being together. Years later and just the mention of it spurred on this reaction. While he knew Elena had been tricked by Katherine and Nik it hadn't kept the images at bay. And Damon just couldn't live like that.

Just as quick as the anger came, so did his answer. "No."

"Then I think you better not ruin a good thing for something you don't even want."

"But Charlotte…" Damon couldn't even finish the sentence. How did he even think about telling Charlotte? Telling her would surely destroy and ruin everything they had created in these past three years. It would break the trust they had created and put Charlotte in a similar situation that he had been years earlier.

Ric grabbed hold of the beer placed in front of him and brought it to his lips. "I think the fact that you feel this guilty, that you didn't continue this thing with Elena behind Charlotte's back, tells you everything you need to know."

"So, I need to talk to Charlotte?"

As he took a chug of his beer, Ric nodded. "She's clearly the one you want to be with right now. Despite your feelings for Elena, you love her. I don't think you're ready to give up on that just yet." He looked at him with a hard gaze. "But don't let this happen again unless you're ready for the consequences. I'm speaking from experience here."

The memory of what Ric had done to Isobel, his girlfriend in high school, was still fresh. The guy had been in love but was still sleeping around. He had been young and naïve and foolish and when Isobel found out it all went to shit. She was a good girl and going through that had hardened her. Years later and his buddy was still carrying around the guilt.

Damon didn't want to go down that path and do the same to Charlotte. He sighed, knowing he was already halfway there. "Can we keep this conversation between us?"

"You mean you haven't told Stefan?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "Nope. Baby bro tells his little fiancé everything and I don't need the wrath of Barbie brought down on me. Not to mention Stef has some pretty firm lines on morality and won't take it well that I've done this to Charlotte."

"And the last thing you need is added guilt," Ric stated. "You already have a drinking problem."

"Says the guy on his fourth beer this morning," Damon jeered.

Ric laughed, taking a sip of said beer. Then he turned to Damon, eyes serious. "Your secret is safe with me. We'll never talk about it again. No matter what you decide to do."

* * *

"Earth to Elena!"

Elena snapped out of her head to see Caroline waving her hand wildly. "Sorry," she muttered.

Caroline crossed her arms and huffed. "You've been distracted all morning. What's going on?"

She knew exactly where her mind had been. Since leaving the bubble of Damon's family home and entering reality, guilt had crushed her. She sobbed the whole way home, completely disappointed in herself. How had she allowed that to happen? She had stopped it twice from going further and both times she pushed morals aside and practically jumped him. What the fuck was she doing?

Caroline still had her head tilted, waiting for a response, and Elena wasn't sure if she should be up front and tell her. "Work stuff."

"It's definitely not work stuff keeping you so distracted. I know that look, Elena Gilbert. This is boy trouble."

Sometimes she hated how perceptive Caroline could be.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Elena looked around to get her bearings and saw that Caroline had been flipping through floral patterns. "That one's pretty!" she pointed out.

The blonde shook her head. "No. You are not distracting me with wedding planning. Spill."

"I can't."

Caroline's eyes narrowed. "Did something happen with Damon last night?"

It was like the world was being pulled out from under her. Her eyes went wide as she quickly tried to cover her tracks. "No. Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Did you two seriously get into a fight?" Caroline threw up her hands. "Stefan's going to kill me! That smug bastard told me it was a bad idea throwing the two of you together, expecting you to work on the awkwardness. But I just want my maid of honor and his best man to get along so we can have the most kick ass wedding party in existence!"

"You will. You do."

"What did Damon do?" Caroline said, frustrated, collapsing on the couch next to Elena. They were in Elena's family room with hundreds of magazines spread out around them. The busy work had kept Elena's mind at bay for a while but every now and then something would make it wander to last night–with their sweaty bodies and heavy breathing–and it was driving her crazy.

Then she would feel guilty and that was a whole other ordeal. She just needed to get Caroline off the trail before she blurted something. "He didn't do anything, Caroline. Really. It's nothing."

"We both know he can be such an ass when he wants to be. And your past together is so messy and, God, this is just going to ruin everything. All because Damon Salvatore, my stupid fiance's brother, can't get over something that happened in high school!"

"I slept with Damon last night! Okay!"

Elena's hands quickly jumped to cover her mouth. The words just tumbled out at each accusation Caroline said about Damon. She couldn't fight against it anymore.

Caroline sat up quickly with her mouth agape as she stared at Elena. "WHAT?"

With her head now falling into her hands, Elena started crying again. It was as if the guilt and shame over what she and Damon had done all came down on her at once. This was nothing like the tears from last night. This was a tsunami of emotion threatening to pull her under.

"I don't know how this happened. I was doing so good."

She felt Caroline wrap an arm around her. "It's because I sent you over there, isn't it? Oh, God. It's all my fault."

Elena started shaking her head, meeting her friends gaze through her tears. "No, Caroline. You couldn't have expected this to happen. Damon's with Charlotte. He loves her."

"Not as much as I thought he did," she mumbled.

Brushing the comment off, Elena said, "I thought I was stronger than this. Why do I get so weak around him?"

"Because you're still in love with him," Caroline stated with realization. "How did I not realize this?"

Elena let out a weak laugh. "Because despite your deductive skills, I hid this one secret pretty well."

To be honest there wasn't exactly much she could do about it. Once Elena found out that Damon and Charlotte were together, all she could do was push her feelings aside and attempt to get over Damon. She dove into her work, tried dating, went out as much as she could. Yet nothing could make it go away. So, instead she just ignored it and dove into life without him anyway.

It was hard, but she was doing better and better each day. Until last night.

"Who made the first move?" Caroline questioned.

"He did," she answered. "And then I tried to stop it. Twice."

Caroline was quiet for a moment, taking all the information in. Then she spoke, her voice quiet and soft. "What does this mean for you two?"

Elena shrugged, wiping away the last few tears from her face. "I don't know. I don't think it means anything. I didn't ask him to leave Charlotte. He never said that he felt any different about me or that he ever got over what happened in high school. Just that he missed that part of our relationship. Which who am I kidding? It's all we ever really were. We just fucked. Occasionally."

"No," Caroline stated, firmly. "You two were more than that. No. You _are_ more than that. Otherwise it wouldn't hurt this bad."

"I haven't heard anything from him, Caroline. I don't have any delusions that he's leaving Charlotte for me."

Caroline let out a huge sigh before hugging her best friend, fiercely. "That's it! We're putting aside the wedding planning and going out for a drink."

"No, we don't have to." Elena gave a little shake, pushing aside the drama. "I'm okay. We can plan."

Her friend stood, pulling Elena up with her. "I am not taking no for an answer. You need to drown your sorrows in some cranberry vodka and dance it out."

Elena let out a laugh. "Fine!"

"That's the spirit!" Caroline cheered, gathering up their things and handing Elena her purse.

"Whoa! We're leaving _now_? It's the afternoon!"

Caroline shook her head. "We're going shopping to get you a hot outfit. Then we're going out drinking!"

Elena let Caroline drag her out with little protest. Deep down she needed to forget all about what had happened and, more importantly, she needed to forget about ever having any kind of future with Damon Salvatore.

* * *

He was drunk.

Damon wasn't sure if he should be seeing three Ric's talking to him but he just decided to focus on the one in the middle and hope he didn't start seeing pink elephants flying around his head any time soon. At some point it must have turned to night because the house lights were on and the bar was thick with people. Some out to have good time, some trying to get laid, and others drowning their sorrows in amber liquid like himself.

Ric's lips were moving but the words were coming out so slurred it was a miracle the guy had managed to get some chicks digits earlier. Thankfully Charlotte had texted him earlier saying she was overloaded with coursework and would be busy the rest of the night because there was no way he could explain his state right now without throwing in a few confessions as well.

And despite Ric's advice, he still wasn't sure what he wanted to do.

There was no way Charlotte would put up with him cheating with Elena of all people. That conversation would be a quick route to a break-up and he wasn't sure he wanted that. And having that feeling meant that he still wanted to be with Charlotte. But being with Elena reminded him of all the ways he wanted her.

Basically his head was a messed up place to be.

Suddenly Ric was slapping his shoulder repeatedly and trying to formulate a sentence.

"Spit it out, buddy. You're talking gibberish."

Pinching his brow, Ric muttered, "Elena's here."

"What?" Damon spun around just in time to see Elena and Caroline walking into the bar and just like that his shitty day became a fucked up night.

The girls went to head straight towards the bar but Elena suddenly stopped up short as her eyes made contact with his. Caroline seemed confused before she muttered something in her ear and dashed towards the bathroom and out of sight.

Guess despite his very drunk state the two of them were about to have a talk.

He slapped Ric's back and mumbled something about hitting the head and maneuvered his way towards the restrooms. It was still early in the night and thankfully there wasn't a line of girls dying to reapply their makeup and share girl talk. He pushed inside the woman's restroom and saw Elena with her hands firmly holding the sink and her eyes focused ahead on the mirror.

"Elena?" he sang, closing the door behind him and locking it shut.

Elena's head fell. "What do you want, Damon?"

"Just to have a little chit-chat," he mumbled. "Where does that phrase come from anyway? What exactly is a chit and why are their chats so memorable?

Her brows furrowed as she studied him. "How drunk are you?"

Damon brought his hands up and squeezed his thumb and forefinger close together. Then he laughed and said, "The Ric-ster and I have been drinking since like noon but my tolerance is pretty awesome so I'm good. How are you?"

"Are you sure you want to broach this topic in your state?" Elena questioned, a slight tone of anger to her voice.

"Yupper. I do!" Damon giggled. What the fuck? He's giggling? Maybe he was too drunk to have this conversation.

Elena turned her body so she was facing him and it gave him a moment to appreciate the tight little number she had fit herself into. It was navy with ribbing and a thick line in the center that elongated her torso. It hugged her every curve and it had him wanting to trace them. Fuck. They could have this conversation later and get one more in, couldn't they? Elena was looking too good to waste time trying to figure their shit out. And he was too drunk to remember why he shouldn't just take her right now.

Oh, Charlotte. Right. His girlfriend. But—fuck— why was he with her anyway? I mean he loved her but it was nothing like what he felt with Elena. But he couldn't be with Elena because she slept with Nik. Fucking asshole. He should kick his ass.

"Uh, Damon?"

He looked up to see Elena staring at him. "Yeah, 'Lena?"

She smiled at the nickname. "Did you hear anything I just said?"

Damon shook his head fiercely. "That would be a negative, 'Lena."

He just wanted to see her smile. She was awfully pretty when she smiled. And now she was biting her lip and that drove him wild. It was fucking sexy as hell when she pulled that bottom lip between her teeth. It made him want to kiss her.

But now her lips were moving. Wait, focus, Damon. She's trying to talk to you.

"What I'm trying to say is…" she took a deep breath. "What happened last night was a mistake."

"What?" he blurted out.

Now he was focused and alert. Did Elena honestly think that what happened between them was a mistake? Maybe the timing was wrong because he was with someone else but the act itself? No that was fucking perfection. They fucking belonged together.

That halted his thoughts.

Was he finally over the whole Nik thing? Could he really let himself love her the way he always wanted? Be with her just like he always dreamed? He could end things with Charlotte and end all their plans for the future and finally give his heart what it wanted. Once again he found himself being pulled back and forth between what was standing in front of him and the life he thought he wanted with Charlotte.

"We both made a mistake," Elena continued on, oblivious to his thoughts. "We've both moved on. I mean, clearly, since you have a girlfriend. It was just a lapse in judgement."

"You really believe that?" Damon asked, stepping towards her. At some point she must have moved towards the door because with each forward step of his own, Elena backed closer and closer to the door.

Her eyes were wide when her back hit the door and he towered over her. Her eyes desperately looked for an escape, but he was focused on something else entirely. She was so close and once again he found himself fighting temptation because of morality. It was wrong of him to want Elena like this. To drag them both into this mess when he wasn't sure what he wanted. He knew he loved Charlotte and was happy with her but what he felt with Elena was chemical and reaction would always bring out a spark.

Elena's eyes stayed on his as she nodded, mutely.

"I don't believe you," he said. "You want this, Elena. You crave it just as I do. Why not give in to it?"

She searched his face frantically, her eyes batting around like a pinball machine. Damon dropped his head lower, bringing his mouth close to hers. He was swaying on his feet, tired as fuck, but he was wide awake for this.

"You want me to kiss you hard. To push my tongue into your mouth and run my hands down your body. You want to push this tight ass dress up to your hips so I can bury my fingers inside of you and make you scream. Because you know I can. Because you want me. All you have to do is kiss me."

Elena's eyes closed and she took in a breath and just as he was certain she would close the space and kiss him, she pushed hard at him, sending him tumbling to the floor. "No, Damon. You're _with_ Charlotte. You _love_ her. _Be_ with her. Forget this happened because it won't be happening again."

And with that, Elena reached for the lock and freed it, opening the door and disappearing out of it. He lay on the floor, utterly confused with his own emotions. Damon just couldn't make up his own mind about what he wanted to do. His head was too muddled with alcohol to make a coherent decision.

The way he saw it he had two choices. He could leave this bar and go home to Charlotte and play the perfect boyfriend all the while keeping this secret from her or he could chase down Elena and try to figure this shit out.

So he stood.


	18. Chapter 17:Where We Last Left Off

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Whoa! Lots of drama in the reviews for last chapter. There was a lot of slut-shaming and at lot of you have conflicting opinions on who is more at fault. It's possible they both are. Elena for falling into old habits and Damon for fighting against what he wants because he's scared. They're both making mistakes because they're flawed. **

**Anyways... Thank you to Morgan (morvamp) who got back to me right away with this chapter and approved of the rest of the story making it that easy for me to plow on ahead. She's a peach of a friend and a fantastic writer! You should really check out all of her stories before she gets published and they're no longer free and DE ;)**

**So, here is your double update... Pay attention to the dates and I'll see you down below...**

* * *

_May 2013…_

* * *

"Come on, Stefan! This isn't rocket science!" Damon yelled.

Stefan grunted in frustration as he tried repeatedly to flip the cup and make it land perfectly upside down on the table. The girls were quickly catching up to them and he watched as Bonnie's cup landed perfectly before she raced towards the Slip N' Slide and tagged Caroline's hand. Bonnie, Elena and the rest of the bridal party erupted into cheers and Barbie raced towards the table and started flipping her cup as Stefan continued to struggle.

"I can't focus with you looking at me like that," Stefan mumbled, still struggling with his cup.

Then the cheers elevated and Damon looked up to see Caroline perfectly flip her cup and give her future hubby a little kiss before racing towards the slide and getting soaked before jumping up and joining her bridesmaids in a dance.

The groomsmen all groaned and when Damon spared a glance at Stefan, who was staring towards the girls with a huge smile on his face, he knew instantly why it had taken his brother so long to flip the red Solo cup.

"You let them win," Damon whispered.

Stefan smiled. "Look how happy she is."

Damon followed his gaze to where the girls had all started embracing. He watched as Elena and Caroline hugged fiercely, swaying back and forth as they squealedand squealing with joy. Then Elena pulled back as Caroline went to hug Bonnie, and Elena caught him looking. She gave him a little smile before walking over towards the bull horn Caroline had brought over for the party.

She brought it up to her mouth and screamed, "And Team Bride wins! That means the Groom and all his men are responsible for clean-up duty while us girls enjoy the pool. Don't worry; you can try again in the next Wedding Party Wars event… the sack race!"

He watched as Elena giggled and headed over towards the pool with the rest of the girls a little sashay to her hips. She looked over her shoulder and winked at him before throwing her arm around Bonnie and continuing the short trek.

His family's backyard had been transformed overnight to an obstacle course with various games set up along the grass. A huge and huge keg and buffet sat near the pool. The whole thing had been Caroline's idea for unifying the wedding party so that they all could enjoy the year of planning now that it was in full force. The past year of preplanning had been child's play and now Caroline was showing no mercy as she overworked both himself and Elena to be there for her and Stefan for the big day. They had their plates full but thankfully today was mainly about having fun.

Damon looked over towards where Elena was undressing, his eyes mesmerized by the action of her removing her soaked tan shorts and tank to reveal a purple and Aztec print bikini. It left little to the imagination and he could feel the eyes of several of Stefan's groomsmen leering at her.

"Get to work, gentleman," he ordered. "Hopefully you're not this slow in the sack race."

They all quickly got back to work, rolling up the Slip N' Slide and folding up the table to make room for the next event. As him he and Stefan worked together to wind up the hose used to spray water, Damon let his eyes wander back over to Elena. She was emerging from the pool, laughing at something Bonnie was saying behind her. He watched as she excused herself, wrapped a kimono around her body and headed into the house through the garage. His eyes followed her movements as her hands gathered up her hair and squeezed the water out of it before disappearing.

Now was his opportunity. He gave Stefan some lame excuse about needing to check on something as he raced towards the house and used the back door to get inside. He knew exactly where she was heading because he had seen all the burlap sacks stored there earlier today.

He walked into the study and found her standing there bent over, counting how many sacks were before her. God, she was sexy as hell and she had been teasing the shit out of him all day with her flirty winks and meaningful looks. His hands reached out for her hips and she jumped, her body straightening out and her back hitting his chest.

"Damon?" she questioned, surprised.

"Who else would it be?"

She tried to move forward out of his grasp and he only held her tighter. "Aren't you going to let me go?"

"You're driving me crazy," he breathed, his mouth brushing against the bare skin of her shoulder that had become exposed when she jumped. "This itty bitty bikini is in no way appropriate for public."

"Is that so?" she breathed, easing into his touch.

Damon took that moment to flip her around and force her backwards against the wall. He trapped her with his hand beside her head, his other hand on her hip, holding him to her. He began to push aside the kimono and watched as it fell to the floor at her feet. Her chest heaved with each intake of breath.

"We shouldn't be doing this here," she breathed, her eyes trained on his lips. "Anybody could walk in."

"Then you shouldn't have worn this bikini."

He grabbed hold of her hand and brought it to where he was hard and aching for her. She palmed him and started massaging him over his swim trunks.

"I'm guessing you like it?" she breathed, growing frustrated and slipping her hand inside his trunks to graband grabbing hold of him.

"I'll fucking love it even more off you."

Elena bit her lip. "You can't. Just in case someone catches us."

He grunted, kissing her and pushing aside the fabric of the bottom half of her bikini and pushing his fingers inside. She was so wet for him that his kisses grew hungrier and when he knew he just couldn't take it anymore, he pulled his hand free and eased down his trunks. Elena caught the hint and jumped up, wrapping her legs around him and he quickly eased himself inside of her, enjoying the cry that spilled from her lips.

They didn't take this slow. Instead he was savage with her; needy, hungry, and desperate for each sound she made. She responded with quick, rolling movements of her hips, and digging her nails into his back. It was nearly animalistic and he was fucking loving every minute of it. He loved that he brought this out in her. These little secret meetings turned Elena on to the point where she was ready just by the anticipation.

They could steal a moment in public and have crazy sex and then blend back into the party without anyone having a clue. At this point, a year in, they were pros at it.

"God, Damon," she moaned. "I'm so fucking close."

"I'm right there with you, baby. Fuck. You feel amazing."

With a few quickened, hard thrusts they came together and it took all of his strength to keep them upright. He just wanted to crash to the floor with her and take his time, explore her body and elicit every delicious sound from her lips. But they only had these few stolen moments together and seeing that content smile on her face as she looked into his eyes was all he needed to make it worth it.

He eased her legs down to the floor and they shared one deep, slow kiss before they fixed themselves up and Elena slipped her kimono back on. She quickly wrapped her hair up in a bun before grabbing hold of the burlap sacks and disappearing from the room without a word.

It was routine at this point.

Damon waited a few moments before making his way outside. The moment the sun hit his face, he felt the impact of someone jumping towards him and wrapping him up in a hug. He looked down to see Charlotte staring up at him and smiling beautifully.

"Hey, babe," he smiled back. "I'm so happy you finally made it here!"

She squeezed him tighter as they walked towards the pool. "It was so nice of Caroline to include me even though I'm not part of the wedding party."

He gave a quick glance to where Elena was chatting with Stefan and Caroline, motioning with her hands at the grass. They were no doubt talking overdiscussing the set up for the sack race. She gave a quick glance towards him and Charlotte before quickly bringing her attention back to her conversation.

"Of course she did. You're my girlfriend."

Yeah. His new normal wasn't normal at all. It was the tale of two Damon's.

And he still hadn't figured himself out of this mess.

* * *

"So when is the big day?"

Elena laughed as her Aunt Jenna questioned Caroline about her upcoming nuptials. It earned a narrowed glance from her best friend and a confuse look from her aunt. "You've had the date set before Stefan even proposed! I just thought she would've received the evite and the save the date and seen the multiple Facebook statuses."

"Have I really been that much of a Bridezilla?" Caroline pouted.

Wrapping her arm around her best friend, Elena stated, "Not that bad. You're just excited."

"Thank you," Caroline smiled, pleased.

"And," Aunt Jenna stated, lifting up her glass of wine, "I have 've been in South Africa on an anthropology study for the past two years so I've been off the grid a bit."

It was true. Elena's Aunt Jenna—practically a cool older sister—had been basically unreachable for the past two years. Despite the odd letter and random visit, she hadn't been around much. And with Elena being so close it had been rough. She could've used Jenna this past year when she had become so numb to her emotions and her moral compass had become so eschewed.

"The big day is June 14th," Caroline stated, smiling a huge smile that touched Elena's heart. Her best friend was just so blissfully happy it was hard not to join her. She had the dream job, the perfect guy and a fabulous life. The happiness radiating off her was contagious. And judging by Jenna's smile, she was feeling it too.

Wearing that smile, she shook her head. "I should've guessed you would have a June wedding. Are you flying us all up to the Plaza as well?"

Caroline let out a bubbly laugh. "_No_. It's at the Lockwood Mansion."

"Next best thing."

"Plus," Elena jumped in, "The Lockwood's will let her have full run of the place. She can turn it into Caroline-land for all they care."

"As they should," Caroline replied, doing a little hair flip.

"Duh! They constantly host parties there and you are the apprentice to one of the top party planners in Virginia. They would be foolish not to."

"I heard about that!" Jenna jumped in. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you!" Caroline blushed and took a sip from her glass, her diamond ring sparkling in the sunlight. The three of them were out on Elena's back porch nearly finished with their first bottle.

Jenna had swooped in late last night unexpectedly and since two Sundays a month were set aside for Caroline time, Jenna decided to join them. The girls had busted out the wine a little early and had pushed aside Caroline's wedding binder as conversation took over. and had drifted on to conversation. It was such a welcomed distraction from the constant planning.

After helping to plan Caroline's lavish event, Elena knew for sure that she wanted a small ceremony that was less about flowers and seating charts and more about the guy she would be walking towards. It wasn't that the event lessened the depth of Stefan and Caroline's love; there wasn't a question of it in hers or anyone else's mind. It was just with all the stress in her life, Elena just wanted something simple.

"So," Aunt Jenna sang, her focus turning towards Elena. "Now that I see Caroline is all set and happy. How's my niece's love life? Any guys that I have to approve?"

Elena suddenly got very thirsty. She brought her glass up to her lips to give herself a moment.

"Well, if that doesn't say it all," Caroline mumbled, taking a sip of her own.

"That bad?" Jenna asked.

Where did Elena even begin?

After that unexpected night and the following night in the bar, Elena had been positive that she was done with any kind of relationship with Damon. That was until he called her the following week. It had started off harmless—they were merely trying to keep it civil. Then one thing led to another and she found herself in his bed. The next morning she felt guilty and yet she would race over the next time he would call.

It was a vicious cycle.

Sometimes she would start it up and other times they would be out in public together with Stefan and Caroline and would sneak away to be together. Denial was her best friend at this point. As long as she didn't overthink it, she could keep her sanity. As long as she didn't think about the fact that he was still with Charlotte, she didn't feel like such a horrible person.

She kept telling herself that she was the single one. She wasn't the one in the wrong.

And yet, when she'd attend a party or holiday event with couples, or even spend a lonely night at home, would get invited to a party or a holiday would come around or just a lonely night at home, she would find herself wanting more. More of him. More for herself. Just not the life she had put thrown herself in.

It had been going on for over a year and it didn't look like it would change anytime soon.

Damon was still with Charlotte. Elena was still his little dirty secret.

She just couldn't get the strength to stop it.

Saying her love life was in a bad place was a fucking understatement.

"No guys worth mentioning," Elena finally said.

Jenna frowned. "We gotta get you some eye candy for this wedding."

"And mess with Caroline's seating chart?" Elena joked. "As if!"

"You already have your seating chart?" Jenna balked.

Caroline was unusually shy as she responded. "I'm just being prepared. Most people have already gotten back to me."

And just like that the conversation of Elena's love life had been diverted.

* * *

_April 2014…_

* * *

"Take it in, baby bro. This is your last big send off before you're cuffed to a ball and chain."

Damon gestured to the bright Las Vegas strip bright and alive outside the floor to ceiling windows of the executive suite he had booked. It was for Stefan's bachelor party, after all, and he needed to make sure his little brother went out with a bang. Not literally. Blondie would definitely castrate him if that were the case and he was kind of partial to his boys.

"How did you even manage this?" Stefan stated in a voice full of disbelief.

Giving a little chuckle, Damon slapped his brother on the back and said, "Let's just saying being the sport broadcaster of a huge college comes with perks."

Stefan was shaking his head. "I don't even know how to thank you."

"There's no need too. You deserve this."

His brother embraced him in a huge bear huge, mumbling a thank you, before strutting over to his fellow groomsmen and making plans for the evening. Damon kept his eyes on the busy city below him knowing that a certain brunette was here as well, in charge of her own party.

He pulled his iPhone from his pocket and typed out a message to her.

_Were you girls able to check in okay?_

It only took a few seconds before he saw those three little dots appear.

_Yes! This place is amazing, Damon. I can't believe you managed to get us in. Thank you for splitting it with me. Great idea for a send-off!_

He smiled. Vegas had been his idea and when he shared the idea with Elena after one of their meet-ups, she'd jumped on it. They had spent the rest of the night ironing out the details to make sure it earned was made with Caroline's stamp of approval. Elena came up with the idea to book separate hotels to keep the future bride and groom apart and it was Damon's connections that got them both executive suites to crash in.

_See what happens when we work together ;)_ he typed back.

_And when we keep our clothes on lol_

Damon quietly laughed, . Nnot wanting to draw attention from the rest of the party who were nearly ready to go. He had the whole night planned for them, but they were still throwing on shirts and dress shoes and they had to do was get ready. It gave him a few more moments with Elena.

_Speaking of which…. What are you wearing?_

He licked his lips in anticipation. This was his new favorite part of their relationship. Thank God for iPhones and their high quality pics., Hhe and Elena could send each other all kinds of dirty pics without having to figure out how to get together. It was perfect for a time like now.

Suddenly a pic popped up on his screen of Elena with her hair set in curls and a long sleeved, tight-fitted V-necked black dress hugging her body. She was blowing a kiss at the camera and clutching a black and silver purse in her free hand. He zoomed in on her long, long legs—one of which was popped—to where her red painted toes peeked out of black heels. Chains linked around her ankles, conjuring up wicked scenarios he desperately wanted to act out. that had chains that wrapped around her ankle. Her eyes were smoky and sex and her lips were puckered and glossy pink. She was a fucking knockout.

_Sexy… And you're sure we can't find time to sneak away?_

Elena answered him immediately.

_Nope. Sorry. Where's my pic, handsome?_

Damon opened up his camera and headed over to a nearby mirror and snapped a pic of his outfit. He was dressed in a dark grey slacks and a suit jacket with a light grey shirt underneath. His hair was in its usual disarray and he gave a little smirk that he knew would drive her wild just as he snapped the pic.

He smiled as he saw those little bubbles appear and disappear before she finally came up with a response.

_You look sinful ;)_

The boys were nearly ready and he started making his way towards the door, finally hinting at some of their plans as they waited for the elevator. All the while, typing back a response.

_And we're in Sin City… Look at that…_

Elena responded, _You're such a cornball! We're out for the night! Have fun xx_

Just as he was about to respond, his phone vibrated with another text.

**From Charlotte:** _Have fun tonight. Miss you, babe! Love you!_

He quickly typed back a response to Charlotte.

_Missing you too!_

Then he quickly went back to his message to Elena only to be interrupted by his girlfriend again.

_Can you call me when you get back? I'll wait up for you…_

Damon typed back.

_It's going to be late, babe. I'll call you in the morning. Promise._

The boys had reached the Casino floor and had split up to various tables. He was just getting Stefan set up at a table for blackjack when his girl's' response came through.

_Okay…_

With a sigh, he pulled up Charlotte's contact and called her. It only took a few rings before she picked up. "_Hello?_"

"Everything okay?"

He heard her sigh. "_Yeah. Just wish I could be there with you_."

"I'm just with the boys."

"_Aren't the girls there?"_

Damon ran his hand through his hair as he watched his brother double down. "Nope. They're at a separate hotel. We didn't even fly in together. We're only meeting up for breakfast on Sunday and the flight back."

"_Oh_." And her voice sounded more chipper, more confident than when she had first answered.

At the table, Stefan had lost, both cards disappearing back into the dealers deck to be shuffled. He had tried to split his luck and had come up emptyhanded.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Damon asked Charlotte, cupping his hand over the phone.

"_It is now! Have fun, babe. Sorry for bothering you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you_."

"Love you, too," he said before he hung up.

As he settled down beside his brother to play, his mind was running wild. Charlotte's voice had sounded worried, concerned even. Had he messed up somewhere? Was she on to him? It was only when he assured her that the girls weren't going to be spending the weekend with them that she had calmed down. Did that mean Charlotte knew about Elena?

If she did, she wasn't calling him out for it just yet. That meant he had time. He had to figure this shit out. He was cheating on Charlotte, messing with Elena's head, and confusing his own heart. Was he finally ready to stop fucking around and truly commit to one of them? Could he admit to himself the real reason why he had been using the Nik thing as shield to keep Elena at bay? Was he even ready for the conversation that would follow?

Or did he just ignore his gut and wait it out a little longer while he continued to figure it out? As if the past two years hadn't been long enough.

With the first hand of the night being dealt, Damon wondered if his life would end up like his brother previous hand. That by splitting himself in half, he would ultimately lose them both.

* * *

**A/N: Yupp! We're official just months away from the moment in the prologue! You've survived! Next chapter will be Caroline and Stefan's wedding and then we'll have the events leading up the prologue and then the moment itself in Damon's POV. Then it'll all aftermath and I hope you'll love (and hate) me for what I have planned! Read and review xx**


	19. Chapter 18: Stepping Out of The Haze

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Judging by the reviews from the last chapter I see a lot of you have forgotten my warning from early on in the story about the moral lines that this story would cross. I feel the need to address it here because a majority of the slut-shaming towards Elena and the unkindness towards me have been from guest reviewers and since I can't reply there I took to twitter and now here. Thank you to those who have rallied for me and this story. I see you. Anyways back to the issues I keep seeing in the reviews… Both of them are flawed. Elena doesn't have her usual strength because she hasn't yet faced the repercussions of what Nik did to her- and she will face them. She did the thing she promised she wouldn't do and jumped from Nik to Damon and it caused her to make poor choices. Damon is being foolish because he's scared and he's hanging on to the fact that the first girl he really fell for broke his heart. He can't let go of Elena because he loves her but Charlotte is safe. What he feels for Charlotte is easy and he's in control. So he cheated and he's hurting them all. He'll face his issues too. **

**Never feel afraid to share your opinion. I won't yell at you for it. Every time I see a negative review or criticism I want to know what I did wrong so I can convey my point better. This story is a journey and I hope you stick with me because here is the beginning of the climax that brings them both towards redemption. **

**A huge thank you to my friend and beta Morgan (morvamp) who went over this on her WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! Send her anniversary wishes by reading her stories and showering her with love. She deserves it ;) I'll see you down below…**

* * *

"Ready?"

Caroline peeked up from beneath her veil with a huge, bright smile on her face. Elena didn't even need the answer to her question. Her best friends face said it all. Still, the blonde dressed elegantly in a princess ball gown and a head full of curls gave a purposeful nod and ushered forward with her bouquet of red roses.

Taking a breath, Elena took a moment to smooth out the tight-fitting red trumpet style satin dress before taking her first steps. She made sure her necklace—that had been a bridal gift from Caroline—was fastened well and that the strapless top was secure. When she had first tried it on with Bonnie in front of an ecstatic Caroline, she had thought the dress way too formal for the wedding, but Caroline had insisted it was perfect and just what she had envisioned. Now walking down the stairs and seeing the elaborate affair that Caroline and her team had pulled together, her concerns were eased. Keeping her back straight like Caroline had told her and a smile on her face that wasn't hard to fake, Elena followed behind Bonnie at an appropriate pace as they stepped into the massive ceremony space that had a few hours ago been the library.

Row upon row of chairs filled up the space and the scent of roses and sandalwood filled her nose. Different shades of red were scattered about in flowers and ribbon as it intertwined with the crisp white of the linens on the chairs and aisle runner. The crowd blurred into a sea of suits and dresses as Elena focused ahead on where Stefan, handsome in a black tux, stood with his groomsmen.

She watched as Stefan smiled at her and then tried to peek around her to get a glance at his future wife. Elena couldn't help but laugh a little at his eagerness. Her eyes closed slowly as she remembered how it all began and when she reopened them her vision had focused on the best man.

There hadn't been a doubt in her mind that Damon could hang a suit. The fabric molded to him, over the broadness of his shoulders and the expanse of his chest. She had never seen him in a bow-tie, she didn't even think he owned one, but then they had never been at an event as formal as this. His bright blue eyes were focused on her and he was smiling in a way that mirrored Stefan. She took step after step down the aisle, walking towards him, their gaze never wavering.

When she reached the alter, their eyes still glued to one another, she gave a little smile that made his own widen. And when she took her spot opposite him, beside Bonnie, and Pachelbel's Canon in D major began to play, neither of them could look away. Elena heard the gasps in the crowd and knew that Caroline had entered the room looking like a princess and yet she couldn't find it in herself to break whatever this moment with Damon was.

Something had shifted right here and now. It was suddenly different than all their looks before. There wasn't a hint of lust or desire between them. It was something she hadn't allowed herself to feel for a long time. And the best part of it all was that she felt that very same emotion coming from Damon.

The connection broke when Stefan stepped between them and walked down the aisle to receive Caroline from her parents. Elena's focus snapped back to the bride and groom and she looked on just as Caroline kissed her mother, Liz, and her father, Bill, lifted up her veil to place a kiss on her cheek before covering her up again. Her parents were dabbing away happy tears as they eased back and took their seat.

Elena couldn't make herself look at Damon. Not when that connection could happen again. She wanted to be here for her best friend on her wedding day, not lost in Damon like she always was. So, as Caroline stepped up to the alter with her hand through Stefan's arm, Elena remained focused. As they reached the alter, Caroline handed her rose and white lily bouquet. Elena took it and listened as the ceremony started and the music faded.

The ceremony breezed by, full of tears and quotes of long lasting love. When it was time for the rings Elena watched as Damon reached into his pocket and handed them over and once again she found herself being pulled towards him. They looked into each others eyes as vows were exchanged and Stefan and Caroline were declared bonded for life.

_What was going on?_

Stefan lifted up Caroline's vow and dipped her in his arms as he kissed her. The room erupted into cheers as the music swelled in and whatever moment had been going on between Elena and Damon seemed to break, at least for now. Elena embraced Caroline as she kept her hand in Stefan's and then they started down the aisle only stopping to kiss their parents.

Elena stepped in front of the alter and slipped her hand through Damon's arm. Through the enthusiasm of the crowd, they made their way down the aisle and Damon leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "You look stunning if it isn't obvious."

The blush that heated Elena's cheeks nearly matched her dress. "Thank you."

And with arms intertwined they walked down the aisle.

* * *

Why couldn't he take his eyes off of Elena?

It was obvious she looked absolutely beautiful in her gown with her hair set in soft waves and pushed off to one side. He had already told her as much. Hell, she always looked beautiful. There was just something about the sight of Elena walking down an aisle towards him that had him feeling some kind of way. He couldn't even describe it. Only enough to say it had his heart pounding and his mouth lifting up into a smile.

He knew she was feeling it too because her whole walk up and most of the ceremony was spent looking at each other. Even when she had tried to focus on her best friend's wedding, his _brother's_ wedding, his eyes still stayed glued to her face, watching as happy tears watered her eyes and a beautiful smile light up her face. Then when he finally got to touch her, to be honored to have her on his arm as they walked down the aisle to the cheers of the guests and the flash of camera, he couldn't hold back from telling her just how beautiful she looked.

Because that was the only thing about what he was feeling that he knew for sure.

"Hello, handsome."

Damon looked over to see Charlotte walking towards him, her hair wild and curly, dressed in a long, flowing orange dress that had three golden threads wrapped around her torso. It pulled up around her neck and gave a great view of her cleavage and the sight should've had him dying to pull her away for a moment, but his mind was elsewhere.

But he had to play the dutiful boyfriend so he smiled down at her and pulled her in for a kiss, his hands resting on her hips and her own easing up his chest. When she pulled away for air, he breathed, "You look beautiful."

She smiled. "Thank you." Her hand then tugged on his bow tie as she whispered, "This is going to come in handy later."

He smirked down at her. "This is a rental, you know."

"Shame."

Damon shook his head and noticed Elena sneaking away towards the staircase as cocktail hour began in the study and family room. He saw the throngs of people being ushered in that direction and knew this would be his chance. He leaned down and kissed Charlotte quickly before telling her to go get some food. "I have some best man duties to attend to."

She gave a pout before saying, "Okay. I'll see you later. Save me a dance."

"After introductions I'm all yours."

"I'm holding you to that," Charlotte said before heading towards the family room and disappearing into the crowd with only one last look at him.

The moment she was gone, Damon turned towards the stairs and barreled up them in search of Elena. He checked the bridesmaid suite where the girls had spent the morning getting ready and found it empty save for Bonnie and some other girls. Then he headed towards the makeshift honeymoon suite which had been one of the larger guest bedrooms in the Lockwood mansion that had been revamped for the night.

That's where he spotted Elena.

She was spreading rose petals in the shape of a heart over the golden comforter. At the sound of the door opening she had jolted up and clutched at her chest in surprise. "You scared me," she breathed.

"Didn't mean to," he responded, stepping forward and bracing himself on of the tall bed posts that held up the canopy. "Is this Caroline's idea?"

Elena shook her head, smiling. "Nope. I have surprises of my own for them."

"Need any help?"

With a nod, she pointed over towards several candles that were situated in a box. "Can you spread them around the room? One of the party planners are going to light them before they come up here for the night."

"To set the mood?" he smirked, grabbing hold of some candles and placing them about the room, keeping them in sets of two to be coupled off.

"Not that they need it," Elena responded, grabbing a bunch of petals to spread on the floor towards the doorway. "I just thought it would be nice and romantic to come back to."

They fell into comfortable silence as they finished setting up the room to make it perfect for the newlyweds. Once they were finished even Damon had to admit it looked beautiful. It was right up Caroline's alley. When he looked over at Elena to tell her as much he noticed an odd look on her face and it seemed like her mind was a million miles away.

"Everything okay?" he asked, reaching over to rub his thumb along her arm.

She frowned. "What are we doing, Damon? How did we get here?"

"I don't know," he honestly replied. When he looked back he wasn't sure how the two of them had got to this place where they sneaked around behind his girlfriend and everyone's back. There had been a point where he was so sure he and Elena would make it, and yet, they got lost somewhere along the way. Between the past and his own issues and both their mistakes they had drifted so far from who they had been.

Elena walked towards the bed and sat down on the edge and Damon moved to stand by her. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Damon. I can't be this person."

"I understand, Elena," Damon responded, feeling like his whole world was crashing down on him. This was the last thing he had expected after what he had experienced with her earlier.

She let out a heavy sigh, her hands folded in her lap as she played with her fingers. "I want this," she finally said, motioning to the room around her. "I want to fall in love and get married and have a future with someone. Talk about having children or traveling the world. Be partners."

He got down on his knees and placed his finger under her chin when he saw her head drop down. Damon forced her to look at him as he quietly said, "I get it, Elena. You don't have to explain yourself to me. This can end whenever you want."

Elena was looking at him with pleading eyes. It was like she was trying to convey words she couldn't speak. But he knew it anyway. She was pleading with him to be with her; to build that future with her. And even though he wanted it, something inside of him was holding it back. There was a wall of excuses that he hid his feelings behind and he wasn't ready to tear it down yet.

When he didn't give her the answer she wanted, she nodded slowly to herself and sighed again. "So, this is it then. We're done." And she looked unsure despite her determination a few moments earlier.

"I guess so," he breathed and felt the weight of sadness bearing down on him. He thought back on the last time they had been together. How they had rushed through the act of kissing and sex. It had been hurried and rough and he regretted it. Regretted not appreciating it and that it could all end. He wanted to savor the moment, mesmerized by her every sound and movement to his touch. And now he couldn't even bring up a slowed down image.

Another silent nod and then Elena was biting her lip. "Can I…" she paused, flicking her eyes downward. "Can I kiss you one last time?"

The way the word last came from her mouth was like she was choking on it. He didn't want it to be the last time. He wanted to be with her for as long as he could, whenever he could. He had been living the best of the both worlds lately and had never even questioned the thought of there being a last time with Elena. He needed to make this last kiss, last touch, the best they had ever had.

Damon reached his hand up and cradled her face. She looked so vulnerable, and at his touch seemed to find her confidence. His hand slid down her cheek and he slowly slid the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip as it pulled free from her teeth. Then he was slowly moving towards her, rising up on his leg to so he could kiss her properly.

He kissed her and she sighed into him, relaxing and easing herself closer. Her body arched against him as his tongue slid into her mouth and moved against her own. She was tugging on his jacket, pulling him closer. She couldn't get any closer unless she ripped open his chest and crawled inside beside his beating heart.

They spent minutes like that, just kissing and refusing to break the contact. Then that feeling from earlier seemed to bubble back up and he started understanding why people called it falling in love. He felt himself tumbling down, unsure of which way was right. All he knew was despite the wrongness of what they had been doing, he had never felt more right than when he was with Elena. Why was he so afraid of taking that next step?

Elena's hands had slid up his chest and into his jacket as she eased it off his body. Every movement was being done slowly and with precision. It wasn't frenzied or hurried as her hands went to his bowtie and freed it lose and then slowly unbuttoned each and every button of his shirt. His hands were running themselves down the bare skin of her shoulders and arms as he wondered when this had gone from one last kiss to one last time.

It had been Elena who had made that decision and he was more than willing to comply. But he stayed in control and kept the speed slow and the feeling sensual. Damon pulled Elena up to him after his shirt and bowtie had joined his jacket on the bed beside her. Her hands danced along his torso before finding stability on his shoulders as his mouth descended down her neck.

There were no words being spoken as they lost themselves in each other. This was a time when they should be hurrying. The reception would be starting soon and they would be needed, but he couldn't make himself speed up knowing that because of him and his own issues this would be the last time Elena opened her body up to him.

As he pulled back after a slight nip to her jawline, he turned Elena around and eased back the zipper of her gown. He unzipped slowly, marveling at the sight of her olive skin being revealed to him. He studied the beauty marks that dotted her back and the dimples that pinched her lower back. Then he carefully eased the dress over her ass and the black laced panties to rest it on the floor. Elena stepped out of it and he carefully picked it up, resting it on the back of a recliner before turning around and studying her nearly naked body.

While his back had been turned she had removed the pasties that had covered her breasts and now stood before him in only thin panties. He was reminded of the first time he had seen her naked and how it had been better than anything his mind had conjured up. This outdid that by a thousand.

It was a shame how little times they had sex on a bed. How many times had been spent cramped in the back of a car or on a little couch or floor or closet? Now he had the space to worship her as she truly deserved. He undid his pants and eased them off before stepping towards her and bringing his hands all over her body. Elena stood on her tippy toes, having removed her heels as he stepped towards her, and placed her hands on his face, bringing his eyes back to hers before she kissed him again.

At the press of her lips on his, he eased her backwards on the bed and let her hair fan around her head like a halo. His hand slid up the flatness of her tummy before cupping her breast and running his thumb back and forth over her nipple. She had reached down between them and wrapped her hand around him, pumping him with her fist. He could feel himself getting close and eased back from her, taking hold of her hand and bringing it between her thighs to circle her clit.

With his hand on hers, he showed her how he would move and he watched as she arched her back off the bed and cried out as her orgasm hit her. It was quiet and as her face contorted in pleasure, they locked eyes. As she came back down, Elena rolled them over and began to kiss down his body, pulling off his briefs and placing her hips between his now spread legs.

She placed the finger that had been between her legs into his mouth and he sucked on her juices, groaning at the taste of her. As she pulled her hand free, he kept his eyes closed and then felt the most amazing feeling as Elena's mouth took him in. Damon nearly jolted in surprise. She had never done that with him before. It was her own little rule that she only went down on guys that were her boyfriend, mumbling about not sticking something in her mouth when she wasn't sure where it's been.

But now her mouth was around him and her tongue was doing wicked things every time she reached the top, swirling and flicking her tongue at the head before enveloping him once again. Her head bobbed up and down. The slow, measured strokes of her tongue had him thrashing on the bed. He could feel that coiling tightening within him, demanding to be released, and he had to fight against it, not wanting to come in her mouth and have this whole moment be over.

With one last dip of her head, he reached down and pulled her to him, crashing her mouth to his. He was so frenzied with need that he had to remind himself to slow down. Thankfully, Elena still had her head about her and carefully positioned herself over him before slowly easing down. And suddenly all was right in the world. With her body straddled over him and his body upright, they remained chest to chest as he moved in and out of her and she rolled her hips in slow circles.

With every brush of her clit against his body, her mouth would drop open in a cry. He could only watch. Their eyes stayed locked, their mouths a hairsbreadth away from each other. Something about this time was unlike any other time before. He wasn't marveling in her talented hips or her full chest and quiet gasps, he was amazed by the woman herself. And he knew he was in love with her.

The reason this day had been so different was that he had been imagining Elena walking towards him on their wedding day. The reason this time was so different was that they had been making love.

When release finally came, it came hard. They both spiraled down together, wrapped in arms and eyes wide open. When it subsided, they crashed onto the bed and kissed one last time.

Then the bubble seemed to burst and they both got dressed in silence. Together, they made the bed and reset the flowers, making sure there was no evidence left of what they had done. He helped Elena zip up her dress and she helped him with his bow-tie. Then with one last searing kiss they headed towards the door.

As he reached for the handle, Damon stopped and quietly said, "Elena, I'm so sorry."

"I am, too, Damon," she responded. "I wish things could be different."

Then he opened the door and watched her disappear, knowing that things could be different. If only he wasn't so scared.

* * *

Damon sat at the now vacant table with a bourbon in hand as the last few couples started making their way off the dance floor. Stefan and Caroline had left a half hour ago and were upstairs where he and Elena had made love just a few hours prior. He had spent the rest of the night trying to push the thought of things being over with Elena out of his mind.

His eyes constantly strayed towards her, watching as she danced and had fun with her friends. She shared a few slow dances with Caroline's dad and a few guys he didn't know. Even Ric danced with her when he noticed at one point she was the only bridesmaid off the dance floor. At Damon's intrigue, Ric joked about snagging her hot aunts phone number. Damon could only roll his eyes.

When he wasn't focusing on Elena, Charlotte kept him busy. She kept him on the dance floor and did shots with him at the bar, completely oblivious to the war going on in his head. Since the bachelor party, she hadn't said a word about what had her so worried. He had chopped it all to insecurity about him getting into trouble in Vegas. It only made him feel worse about what he had been doing behind her back.

"So, ready to head out?"

Damon looked up to see Charlotte standing beside him with her purse and shoes already in hand. He gave a quick nod and downed the contents of his drink in one gulp before standing up. He was practically moving on auto-pilot at this point since he no longer had to put up appearances for Stefan and Caroline, hell, even Elena. His parents had already given him hell for placing a few too many curses in his best man's speech. The last thing they needed to worry about was what he and the maid of honor had been up to.

"Damon?"

He turned around and saw Charlotte standing still in the middle of the dance floor. It had cleared out and the only people left were the servers clearing up and the band packing up their instruments. He was surprise they had stayed this late. When did he lose track of time? He cocked his head at her, still swaying on his feet. "Yeah, babe?"

She looked down at the floor. "I've been wanting to ask you something for a while."

"Do you have to here? We can talk at your place."

"I don't think it can wait."

His eyebrows raised. "What is it?"

Charlotte gave a little huff before finally pushing the words out. "Have you been cheating on me?"

Fighting to keep his eyes from bugging out of his head, Damon could only manage a horrified, "What?"

"Something hasn't been feeling right lately with us. For a while you've been either distant or overly-attentive and you disappear for periods of time with no explanation. I just want to know if you've been cheating on me."

He started walking towards her, arms outstretched, ready to bullshit his way out of it. But he had to admit with the amount of alcohol swimming through his veins he wasn't at his best game. "Charlotte…"

When she looked at him her eyes were murderous. "Have you been cheating on me with Elena?"

"Elena?" he sputtered, eyes successfully bugging out this time.

"I wasn't certain, but after tonight and the way you couldn't keep your eyes off of her the whole ceremony…" she trailed off in thought. "You couldn't even watch your brother getting married. Your only focus was her."

"Charlotte," he slurred, "c'mon. I love you."

It was basically a go-to response at this point. The feeling was lacking in it and it didn't even compare to what he was feeling upstairs with Elena. Why couldn't he just admit it? To Charlotte and himself. Why was he fighting something that he wanted? Why was he so fucking terrified that she would break him again? It had been years and he was still hanging on to that same reason. Despite the fact that Elena had dealt with his bullshit these past two years. They weren't even together and the rejection of what they had been doing had hurt more than it should. That's why it worked with Charlotte. She wouldn't hurt him. She was faithful and loved him. He was her whole world, the love of her life. She was a safe choice.

Plus, things were over with Elena.

He could finally get back to where he had been before she had been pulled back into his life and screwed everything up. He could get back on path with Charlotte. Do all the things they had talked about. Protect himself.

"Do you?" Charlotte finally asked.

He took her hands in his, ignoring the way she initially tried to fight against his touch. "You know I do."

Things between him and Elena were done. He had to stop pulling her down because he couldn't get over his issues. And he was done trying to deal with them. This was what was right. He and Elena were too complicated, too toxic. If they were right for each other than they would be together. But they weren't. She was ending things and he was with Charlotte.

Charlotte looked up at him, her eyes full of sadness and worry. But there was a determination in her gaze that had him taking what she was about to say seriously. "Prove it."

* * *

**A/N: Here we go…. We hit the moment in the prologue next chapter… I hope you're ready!**


	20. Chapter 19: Almost Is Never Enough

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Major thank yous to Morgan (morvamp) for beta'ing this chapter! She's pretty much the best and if you haven't already climb out from under that rock and read all of her amazing fics. She's got such talent and I can't wait to see her published so the world can see what I do!**

**I recommend listening to "Almost Is Never Enough" by Ariana Grande (Feat Nathan Sykes) while reading this chapter.**

**We've reached the prologue! So without further ado...**

* * *

_"The saddest word in the whole wide world is the word almost._

_He was almost in love._

_She was almost good for him._

_He almost stopped her._

_She almost waited."_

* * *

_August 4__th__, 2014…_

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving again," Elena pouted.

Aunt Jenna squeezed her tightly in a hug, swaying both their bodies back and forth. "I won't be going far. I'll still be in the States, just across the country."

"In South Dakota!"

Her aunt pulled back and held Elena at arm's length, tilting her head as she spoke. "If you need me I'll be a phone call and a plane ride away. I'll be on social media. I'll be there for you."

The girls hugged again and Elena remembered the weight that had lifted off her shoulder on another night a few weeks ago spent in her childhood bedroom where she had come completely clean to her aunt about what she had been doing with Damon. Jenna had listened through all her anger and sadness and guilt and only laid a gentle hand on her shoulder telling her that everyone made mistakes.

She hadn't originally planned on coming clean but the sadness over ending things with Damon and the guilt over what they both had done to Charlotte had become too much and she needed to vent. Even Caroline hadn't known what had been going on the past few years despite that first time. She believed just as Elena did that after the run-in at the bar things had ended for good.

If only that were the case.

Now the weight of it all had been shared and Elena felt even better about her decision to end things with Damon now that someone else knew. Ending things with Damon hadn't come easily. The whole ceremony had her feeling more in love with him than she ever knew possible. It was when she was only in Caroline and Stefan's makeshift bridal suite that reality sunk in. By staying with Damon she would never have a wedding, a wedding night, kids… hell, even a relationship.

When Damon had come in while her head had been swirling with these thoughts the truth broke it's way free. She had hated herself the years they had been cheating on Charlotte. She had been in such a sense of denial and low self-esteem that it had her wondering where that strong, fun girl she used to be disappeared to.

She loved Damon but was he worth her losing herself for?

Damon may not have told her she needed to lose weight or that she wasn't as gorgeous as her friends. He may not have isolated her to the point where he was the only person in her world. But Damon had done his own kind of abuse that was parallel to Nik's. He had put her in a place where she hated herself, lost herself, and denied what she wanted. Damon had made her feel so guilty for what had happened prom weekend that she was willing to have any part of him she could.

And the worst part of it all was that she had let him.

Well, not anymore. She was going to fight for her life again. Finally deal with what Nik and Damon had done to her and move past it. She was going to find a guy who loved her enough to be with her just the way she was and only her. Elena was going to work on her future just like her Aunt Jenna had told her.

God, she was going to miss her Aunt Jenna.

"I'm just going to miss not having you here," she said.

Jenna pushed back her hair from Elena's face. "Maybe you should talk to Caroline and Bonnie. Let them know what's been going on with you. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up."

Elena nodded, knowing that what her aunt was saying was true. Just telling one person had been freeing. She could only imagine what letting her best friends into her hidden life would be like. "I will. Caroline's busy being a newlywed and Bonnie is busy with her Gram."

"You're their best friend, Elena. They'll want to know what's been going on with you."

"I know. I know," Elena stated. She would make plans with them next weekend.

They both heard Elena's mother, Miranda, calling Jenna's name from downstairs. With a squeeze to Elena's knee and a promise to talk later, Jenna left the bedroom, shutting the door behind her and leaving Elena alone with her thoughts.

Dreading having to think for the moment she laid back on her bed and pulled out her phone checking her social media. Twitter was boring, Instagram was full of photos from the weekend, and it was only when she got to Facebook that things really got interesting.

She was just swiping through her friends updates when a post from Damon caught her eye. With the way her life was going she really shouldn't have been surprised. But there it was glaring at her in bold letters and a montage of pictures.

**Damon Salvatore** is now engaged to **Charlotte Zima**

Underneath was a photo of Charlotte flashing her ring finger which now donned a princess cut diamond as Damon rested his forehead against her, his eyes closed and his mouth lifted in a smirk. Charlotte was beaming as her other hand reached out to take the photo, the soft muted lighting of a restaurant Elena knew playing off their faces.

The sight of it all made her sick and she found herself throwing her phone down on the bed as she raced to her bathroom and threw up. The entire contents of her breakfast spilling into the toilet and her heart breaking with each cough as those images burned in her mind. She felt clammy and sick, her mind was racing along with her heart.

How did this happen?

Only two months after she had ended things with Damon and now he was engaged?

Elena flushed the toilet and slammed the lid shut, placing her head on the cool ceramic. The tile of the floor even felt good on her bare legs. After a while when the sickness subsided, she finally stood up and went for her cell phone, swiping quickly out of Facebook and the images of Charlotte and Damon. With a shaky breath she opened up a text message to Damon and typed up a response.

_We need to talk._

She sat down on the edge of her bed staring down at her phone as her free hand clutched her stomach.

Then he responded.

_Meet you at our spot tonight. 7pm. _

She gave a sigh as she read the message before the anxiety began to build up within her. It gave her plenty of time to do something first. Something that could really change everything.

* * *

It was raining. Of course it was.

The raindrops hit Damon's windshield at rapid pace making it difficult to see much of anything. He could only look out and search for headlights and pray this whole thing would be over quick. He knew he had some explaining to do. The proposal had been like a slap in the face to Elena and what they had. But did she not remember ending things with him? What was he supposed to do? Charlotte had caught on to him and demanded proof of his love.

What was more proof than the promise of forever?

Still, his timing was pretty fucked up. The memory of that last time with Elena was still fresh in his head. He replayed it constantly on days when missing her became too much. Things had been more real, more raw and intimate than any other time before. And all he had left her with was an apology.

Then to have Charlotte drop a bombshell about proving himself, he knew he had to do something big. Even if he was still denying that he was a cheat, Damon knew that he had to make up for it. He had to make up for doing wrong by her and they had talked about a future someday. They had been dating five years and she was asking for a bigger commitment from him. A marriage proposal was it.

Somehow he had convinced her to give him time. That he had something big planned. She believed him, a bit begrudgingly and it gave him time to whip up the proposal Friday night and enjoy the weekend showing Charlotte just how much he loved her. It had been perfect.

Until Monday came along and the Facebook status went up.

Now Elena knew and he had to deal with this before finally putting it all behind him. It wasn't like she was going to ask to start things back up—he knew her too well and she wouldn't go back on it once her mind was made up. She must just be pissed about it being so close to when she ended things. But, come on, she had to expect him to move on? To finally stop playing them all and make a move.

The sight of headlight halted his thoughts and filled him with anxiety. Elena held a power over him that he was afraid of and he wasn't afraid of many things. She pulled into a spot a few away from him and stepped out of the car. He stepped out of his own car, pulling the hood of his sweater that he was wearing under his leather jacket over his head. Within moments of stepping outside his jeans were soaked through and he squinted his eyes up at the sky praying it would clear up. As he looked back down he saw Elena's hair drenched and her grey hoodie and yoga pants in the same state as his own clothes.

He was about to ask her why her hoodie wasn't up when she broke the silence first. "So, you're engaged."

Damon nodded. "Yeah."

Elena nodded in response, jerky and with her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. "Didn't take you long to make that decision, did it?"

Eyes wide, Damon quickly responded with her name. "Elena…"

"No!" she said, voice rising over the rain as she looked at him finally and the heat of her gaze had nearly had him cowering. "You couldn't make the decision between me and Charlotte for five years, Damon. So, you dragged us all into a disgusting situation. Then two months after I ended things and made the fucking decision for you…. You propose!"

"She found out," Damon blurted out. He watched as her face registered shock before continuing. "At Stefan and Caroline's wedding. She saw how we were looking at each other. She caught on to it and asked me to prove that I even loved her. What else was I supposed to do?"

Elena let out a laugh, howling. "So, that's all it would've taken? If I had demanded that you choose me we would be together? If I had told you to just get over the mistake I made you would you have? Don't be so fucking weak, Damon. You wanted me and you went for it. What happened to that guy? He just caves under pressure?"

"That guy got his fucking heart stamped on by the girl he was falling for!"

"That was in high school, Damon!"

He kicked his foot against the pavement. "That doesn't make it hurt any less. Elena, I never felt with any other girl who I felt about you. I opened my heart up for the first time and you used it as a chew toy."

"I thought you had slept with Katherine. I was hurt and alone. I made a mistake. One mistake!" Her hands gestured around her. "You've made tons since then and I stayed by your side. I compromised my morals. I helped you cheat!"

"And then you ended things," he calmly stated, despite the anger rising inside of him. They had never been this blunt, this honest. It seemed that the tension between them had finally hit it's breaking point and they were finally exploding from it. All the truth they kept hidden from each other the past near decade were coming out.

Elena pushed back her hair from her face. "I did. Because you wouldn't chose. Because I couldn't be that person anymore not when the rest of my friends are moving on with their lives. Because…" she stopped suddenly, her chest rising and falling with effort.

"Because…?" he questioned, curiously. What was she holding back despite throwing out all her other truths? What was so difficult about this one?

"Because," she began, looking meaningfully at him and capturing the full weight of his attention. When she finished her voice screamed above the storm. "Because I love you!"

He fell mute. He hated waited so long to hear those words and they couldn't have come at a worse time. Damon was engaged to someone else and those words he had waited for so long to hear were not whispered in love but yelled out in hate. A part of him had always suspected it, guessed it because of all she gave up for him, but he never really knew the truth. Not until now.

And he didn't have a single thing to say. Couldn't even return the words back.

Her eyes narrowed the longer the silence stretched. Elena's tiny hands balled into fists at her side as she stared at him, those eyes of hers pleading with him once again as they had after their last time. Only this time he knew for sure what those eyes were saying.

"You can't even say it back," she finally said, voice laced with venom. "You feel it to but you won't admit. I never, ever took you for a coward."

Now it was Damon's turn to ball his hands into fists. "I'm not a coward, Elena. I'm engaged."

"And those things aren't mutually inclusive? You're engaged because you're a coward. Charlotte gave you an ultimatum and you're caving in. Don't you think you should be engaged because you want to be? Because you love that person? Because there is no one else in the world that you would rather spend your life with?"

Elena stared at him and he prayed that she couldn't read his mind. Because right now he was thinking about it was her. She was the other person in the world that he would rather spend his life with. But he didn't want to think about what that said about him and how horrible a person that made him. He was committed to Charlotte and he would see this through.

"I'm engaged, Elena. I made a choice. It was my decision."

Her arms crossed in front of her body. "Notice how not a single one of those sentences were 'I love her'."

"I do." He said, uneasily. Elena was messing with his head. Damon wasn't used to seeing her this way. She had been so submissive lately that to see her strength finding its way back had put him in awe. It had him questioning himself and he didn't want to.

"Maybe if you say it enough it'll make it true. Because the reason you dragged me along for three years is because you love me, too. But you were too scared I would break your heart so you stayed with the safe choice."

Her words had him confronting things her didn't want to. He had to turn this back around. He had to push her away. "I'm getting married, Elena. Deal with it."

Damon could feel the anger rolling off her and he readied himself for what would come next. "You made me fall for you, you asshole!"

The accusation hit him like a slap across the face. He was brought back to their first kiss. How Elena had seemed shocked by it all but that he had been waiting to do that for years. She had been attracted to him because he was good-looking but it had taken time for her to see him as something other than the best friend he had been for all those years. Had he made her fall for him? Yes. But it would've have happened if the feelings weren't there.

And it's not like he expected it all to end up like this.

"Elena…" he began but stopped when he realized he didn't know what to say. He couldn't deny it and there was no way he could agree to it. What the hell could he even say? Of their own accord, his hands went to reach for her and take her face in his hands. He ached to touch her, to wipe the rain from her face and protect her. But it was his fault she was in pain.

It was his actions that brought this hurt to her face.

Elena started shaking her head and backing away from him with her hands up to protect herself. "No. No. No," she repeated as tears fell from her eyes and mixed with the rain. "Don't," she stated firmly.

He needed to offer her something. Give her something to ease all of this. There was only one thing he couldn't think of. "Maybe if you had told me—" If they had been honest from the start they wouldn't both be here right now. If they weren't both so afraid to say what they felt then they would be together right now.

Elena gripped hold of his jacket and spurred her next words at him, desperately. "Don't do this to me, Damon. Don't placate me with 'what if's'."

Just as he was about to speak, his phone rang in his pocket and he knew it was Charlotte by the ringtone he had assigned personally for her. Something in Elena snapped and she pushed Damon away from her with a strangled cry. With one last panting breath, she lifted up her hoodie and turned away from him.

It wasn't until the ringing stopped and Elena had nearly reached her car that he even thought to call out for her. But it was too late. Elena had given up and he could only watch as she hopped into her car and backed out of the spot and drove away from him.

Taking his heart with him and leaving him with more questions about his actions then answers.

Damon stayed out in the rain for a long while just staring in the direction where Elena's car had went. His head was swimming with the information that she was in love with him and that he couldn't act on it because he was engaged to someone else. Had all of this really happened because of him? Yeah, Elena had made one mistake but he had made way more since then and she had stayed with him.

Was he really that big of a coward?

When he finally got back into his car, he pulled out his phone and called Charlotte back. She answered in two rings. "_There you are! I thought I was meeting you at your place tonight. Where are you?_"

"Sorry. Got held up with Ric. I'm on my way."

"_See you soon, fiancé!_" And then she hung up.

Elena was right. He was a coward.

* * *

Elena knocked on the door, the sound of the rain still in the distance. She was soaked through, absolutely drenched and she didn't care. She was moving on auto-pilot now. The decision had been made the moment Damon decided not to fight for her once again. She didn't want to do this but it needed to be done.

The door opened to reveal Aunt Jenna dressed in jeans and a purple tank that had buttons down the front. "Elena? Honey, you're soaked."

"Right," she responded, numbly. "It's raining."

Jenna grabbed hold of her niece and ushered her inside, fawning over her. She demanded Elena change into some of her clothes and join her back in her modest living room. Elena nodded along, doing as she was told and throwing her own clothes in her aunts dryer before slipping on her aunts Whitmore College t-shirt and pants. When Elena rejoined her aunt in the living room, Jenna had tea waiting.

They sat there in silence, Elena drinking her tea and staring ahead as Jenna watched her with worry. Finally, the silence must have become too much because her aunt broke the silence with a single question. "Elena, are you okay?"

One question and Elena broke like a dam. The tears came out of her as she placed down her tea and brought her hands to her face to hide herself. She didn't want to face her current situation or what happened with Damon. It was just all too much.

"Elena?" Jenna moved over and placed her arms around her niece. "Elena, talk to me. You're scaring me."

"Damon's engaged," Elena finally managed out between her tears.

"Oh, honey!" Jenna's arms tightened.

"It's really over this time. We're never going to be together. He's really choosing her."

"He's scared, Elena. But it's his loss. You deserve so much better than him."

Elena started shaking her head, panic rising within her. "That's not even the worst part."

"What is it?"

With a deep breath, Elena reached underneath her hoodie. It had been resting in her own hoodie when she had been talking to Damon. She had meant to tell him but then they had started arguing and the more he tried to convince her he loved Charlotte the more reason she had to keep this a secret from him. Elena pulled it out and placed it on her lap before turning to look at her aunt.

"Oh, my God," Jenna gasped, covering her mouth.

Elena's eyes looked back down at the pregnancy stick on her lap with the positive symbol showing on the display. She had taken the test several times today to make sure but the result had remained the same. She was pregnant and Damon was the father.

Her period had always been irregular so she had thought nothing of it but the moment the morning sickness began last week she begun to get worried. Today she finally had the strength to pick up the tests and now the truth was staring her in the face.

"I don't know what to do, Jenna," Elena said, tears streaming down her face. "I can't tell Damon. Not when he's engaged to someone else. Everyone will know what we've been doing."

"Didn't you two use protection?" Jenna asked, worried.

Elena nodded. "They're not 100% effective. There's always still a chance."

"Oh, Elena," she sighed. "I'm so sorry."

Biting her lip, Elena stated, "There's one more thing."

"More?"

"I want to go to South Dakota with you."

Jenna's eyes widened. "Why?"

"I need to get away. I need to work on myself and have this baby and then figure out what I'm going to do."

Elena knew she had things to work on. She needed to go to therapy and finally face the things Nik had put her through and why she had been so willing to let Damon cheat all this time. She couldn't do that here with Damon and Charlotte beginning a happily ever after and her friends living their normal, happy lives. It would only keep her miserable. She needed to escape.

"You're really going to keep this from him? Don't you think he deserves to know?"

"Eventually," Elena replied. "But I don't want him to choose me because of a baby. He has to figure himself out first."

Jenna sighed heavily. "I can't make you tell him, Elena. But if you want to come to South Dakota with me you can. I'm sure I can speak with my boss and find you an archivist job with us and you can stay at my rental."

"Thank you so much, Aunt Jenna!" Elena jumped to fiercely hug her aunt, tears still streaming down her face. At least she had a plan now. She had to fight to make herself better for this baby. Even if she was scared as hell and the timing was way off, she was happy to have a little piece of Damon to take with her. She couldn't fight for him but she could fight for their child.

"First things first," Jenna said. "We have to tell your parents."

Elena nodded. She knew it was the right thing to do. They couldn't stop her from going. She may live in their house and be their daughter but she was a grown woman now. She had to do what was right for her.

"Will you come with me?" Elena asked.

Jenna smiled. "Of course. I told you I'd be here for you."

And for the first time today, despite her breaking heart, Elena smiled.


	21. Chapter 20: Sent To Rescue Me

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thank you so much to my beta and friend, Morgan (morvamp) for battling with Windows 10 and survived to get this chapter to you! If you haven't already check out all her stories... You won't regret it!**

* * *

_October 2015…_

* * *

"How's the internship going at the hospital?"

Damon looked over at his brother as Stefan gave a deep sigh. "Exhausting but," and he lowered his voice despite it just being the two of them in the car, "so exciting."

His brother had a huge smile on his face as he started explaining different procedures he had assisted on and all the exciting things he was learning. Damon just listened, imputing a quip here and there when needed. Mostly he just enjoyed seeing his brother so passionate about his career. The only other time he saw him this—dare he say it—giddy was when he was talking about Caroline. It was nice to see him balancing newlywed bliss with his demanding career.

"So I take it you haven't gotten busy in an on call room like in Grey's Anatomy?" Damon smirked.

Stefan shook his head. "Interning isn't that scandalous and I'm married."

"And?" Damon asked with waggled brows. "Caroline never sneaked into the hospital to play doctor?"

"Well…" Stefan trailed off, a little hesitancy to his voice.

Damon pulled into the first available spot in the crazed parking lot of the grocery store. As he put the car in park and looked over at his brother, he noticed Stefan was fighting a smile. He was staring at his hands as he fought with himself over whether he should finish that sentence. When Damon nudged him with his elbow to continue, Stefan took a deep breath and started speaking.

"You can't repeat a word of this to anyone. I mean it, Damon." Stefan gave him a measured look and Damon made a show of crossing his heart and locking his mouth. "Caroline and I… Well, you see… We've been trying to have a baby."

Damon's eyes balked and a huge grin lifted the corners of his mouth. "What?"

"We're only in the trying stage. Haven't had much luck, but we have time. I'm only a year away from residency and Caroline's secure in her career. We'll be married for two years in June. We're just ready." Then he added with a wide smile, "We want a big family."

"That's so great, baby bro!" Damon slapped his hand on his brother back.

Stefan relaxed, relieved. "Thanks! It's just part of the exhaustion because every time Caroline is ovulating we have to have sex. No matter how many hours I've been putting in at the hospital or where I am. We got to do it."

"You're seriously complaining about have sex with your wife?" Damon asked, amused. "Enjoy it, bro. Just tell Caroline to calm down her neuroses and enjoy it. It'll happen when it's meant to."

"I keep trying to tell her that, but you know how she gets." Stefan smiled to himself before expelling a breath and saying, "Let's head in before she brings down her wrath on you for making dinner late."

Damon nodded in agreement. He knew far too well the wrath that Caroline would bring down on them if they were late for Sunday dinner. It had been a tradition Caroline had started back up to keep the family together. With Stefan busy at the hospital and Damon booking more gigs with his sports broadcasting, their get-togethers were becoming few and far between. In came Caroline and her demand that both sides of the family get together for dinner. It had actually been a great idea and something he looked forward to each week.

Unfortunately, however, this weekend was Damon's turn to cook. And he hadn't exactly picked up the ingredients just yet.

Thankfully Stefan offered to join him to the supermarket so that they could split up and gather everything in half the time. They each had their own list and a plan to meet back up in a half hour. Just as they were walking through and going over their lists one last time to make sure nothing was forgotten, Damon looked up and saw the last thing he expected.

Her back was to him, but he would know her anywhere. She was pushing a cart dressed in skinny jeans and a black blazer, her long brown hair in soft waves. Damon halted in the middle of the crowded aisle and people were bumping into him but he couldn't move, couldn't stop looking at her. It was like seeing a ghost.

Stefan was the one to break the spell, waving his hand in front of Damon face. "Earth to Damon. What are you looking at?"

"It can't be," Damon whispered, before his feet moved forward. In four long strides he found himself close enough to touch. And he did with a light tap to her shoulder.

She twirled towards him, beautiful brown hair fanning out in slow motion, and he got sucked into those beautiful brown eyes of hers. He couldn't even speak, instead he stared in silence as those eyes he was lost in widened and her beautiful full mouth dropped open in shock.

It was Stefan who found the words that he couldn't manage to speak. "Elena?"

Elena looked beside Damon to where Stefan must have been standing. But he couldn't follow her gaze. His own had dropped to what was sitting in her cart. Or rather who.

A little baby girl that could barely be a year old was looking up at him. It was her eyes that drew him in first. She had a pair of bright blue eyes that matched the same ones that he saw in the mirror every day. Her hair was the same chestnut brown as Elena's but was a little tuft on top her head that was gathered into a bow. The little girl stuck her hand out and pointed at him making little jumbled noises that made zero sense. Still, he found himself smiling like an idiot.

"Who's this?" Damon finally asked, drawing Elena's attention towards him. She and Stefan had been engaged in a conversation but his question had halted them both.

He watched as Elena lit up, running her hand along the little girls cheek. The baby reached out and clutched at Elena's hand, squeezing it tight. "This is my daughter, Sophie."

Damon looked between Elena and her daughter, taking note of the bright blue eyes that Sophie had–eyes that matched his own,her button nose and chestnut hair that matched Elena's. She was a perfect blend of them both. She was still an infant and he did the math quickly in his head. The last time he and Elena had been together was Stefan and Caroline's wedding. It was possible but would Elena really do that? Could Sophie be his?

"She's beautiful, Elena," Stefan stated, with genuine emotion, completely ignorant to the chaos swirling within his brother. "Congratulations! How old is she?"

"Thank you. She's eight months," she smiled, sadly. There was something in her smile that spoke of regret. But regret over what exactly? Keeping his child from him? Or was it more about how she had disappeared and slowly distanced herself from Caroline. Not that he knew the full extent of it. Elena was a topic that he and Caroline steered clear of. But he knew enough from what Stefan had told him that Elena's phone calls had become less and less frequent. It seemed now they all knew the reason why. "How are you? How's Caroline?

Sophie started banging her hands against the cart, swaying side to side. He couldn't help but smile at her, which made Sophie smile back. When he cut a look to Elena, he noticed her watching him nervously. That lip of hers slipped between her teeth as her gaze studied him. It was nice to know that some things never changed, even when everything else did.

"We're good," Stefan answered. "Caroline will be happy to hear your home."

Elena frowned. "Just got home late last night. I've been meaning to call."

"You should," Stefan urged. "She misses you."

"I miss her too."

"And she'll want to hear all about this little one," Stefan stated, motioning to Sophie who was blowing raspberries to no one in particular.

"I'm sure she will. I'm sure I'll get an earful," Elena laughed, nervously.

"I bet you will," Damon said, pointedly. He couldn't shake the feeling that this little girl was his. Between her age and those eyes, it was hard not to. Elena must have noticed the hard edge to his voice because she looked at him taken aback. Even his brother was looking at him, practically begging that he not start anything now. It had been almost two years, but the wound that Elena had carved into his heart when she left was still there.

If she had taken the secret of his daughter with her, he didn't know what he would do.

Elena looked back at Sophie as she blew a kiss and smiled. "I have a lot to explain but—"

"Elena, is everything okay?"

All three of them turned around to see a guy approaching them. He was about Damon's height, but shorter with short blonde hair and blue eyes. Sophie started clapping excitedly as he reached her, a huge one tooth smile on her cheeks. It was the first time he noticed her dimples, the same ones on the guys' face that was now tickling her.

Who the fuck was this guy?

"I'm okay, Matt," Elena said, placing her hand on his arm. Matt relaxed and smiled down at her, a goofy looking grin on his face. Damon could only stare at the three of them. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this Matt guy was Sophie's dad. By the way the two girls seemed so comfortable around him, he had obviously been in both their lives for a while. Not to mention that Matt had blue eyes as well.

There was a weight low in his stomach. Was that disappointment he was feeling now?

Matt looked up at Damon and Stefan, holding his hand out. "I'm Matt."

"Stefan," his brother responded, shaking his hand.

Damon shook his hand next, noticing the firmness of his grip. He felt like he was in a fucking pissing contest only to realize he had no real claim at all. He had given that all up the moment he pushed her away. The moment he put them both through the ringer. The moment he lost her.

And apparently sent her running into Matt's arms.

"Damon," he responded, not even trying to hide the bitterness, jealousy, whatever, from his tone.

"So, you're the Salvatore brothers," Matt said, placing an arm around Elena. Damon was seething. His eyes were focused on Matt's hand, where it was rubbing her shoulder, and Elena seemed to be relaxing at his touch. "Elena's told me so much about you."

"Wish we could say the same," Damon spat.

Elena's eyes narrowed. She was moments away from spitting something back at him when he noticed Matt squeeze her shoulder. Elena looked up at him and took a breath and smiled sweetly. "It seems we all have a lot of catching up to do."

Damon went to speak but his brother interrupted him. "Definitely. Maybe we can make plans for this weekend? You all should come over for dinner."

"I would love that," Elena said, honestly. "I still have the same number so text me with the details."

"See you then," Stefan said.

"It was really great seeing you," Elena called out as she grabbed hold of the cart.

And with a wave from Sophie and Matt, the three of them disappeared into one of the aisles, leaving Damon alone with the shock.

He had spent months wondering what it would be like to see Elena again. But seeing her with someone else as a mother was not at all what he had been expecting. She seemed different. But he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Then it hit him.

She was happy.

* * *

"Sophie's down for her nap. Your parents are just staring at her as she sleeps; completely enamored," Jenna said, breezing into Elena's bedroom. Her aunt jumped onto the bed and lay down beside Elena, looking at her expectantly. When Elena didn't say a word, her aunt blurted out the one thing that had been on her mind. "So, you ran into Damon."

Elena sighed. "Yeah. I wasn't expecting to see him. Not this soon after coming back."

When she'd felt that tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Damon, it was like the ground had been pulled from under her feet. Then he noticed their daughter. Sophie had her way of wrapping everyone around her finger, but to see Damon smiling at her and their daughter blowing him kisses and trying to get his attention with raspberries really tugged on her heartstrings. The way he looked between the three of them had her feeling he had already figured it out.

Thankfully Matt had showed up and saved the day.

Seeing Matt with Sophie seemed to quell the spinning wheels of Damon's mind as they tried to piece together why this little girl looked so much like him. Then Damon seemed to switch from trying to figure things out to acting like a jealous ex-boyfriend. It hadn't made any sense. Last time she saw him, he was engaged, pushing her away.

Then she noticed he wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

She had never bothered to ask Caroline or Bonnie, even her parents whether Damon and Charlotte had tied the knot. It wasn't something she was ready to face when she was deep in her therapy and trying to piece herself back together. She had removed herself from social media so she wouldn't drown herself in the photos. Now she knew that he wasn't married but she still had no idea why.

"How was he with Sophie?" Jenna asked. "Could he tell?"

Elena shook her head. "I was certain he would piece it all together. The way he was looking at her and studying me…"

"But he didn't?"

"No. Matt showed up."

Realization dawned on Jenna's face. "And Matt has blue eyes."

Elena nodded. She felt horrible pretending that Matt was Sophie's father. Especially when the real father was only a few feet away. But she wasn't ready for the secret to come out. She had worked on her issues, let go of the insecurities that had built up when she was with Nik and grew stronger over what she had done with Damon. She was still in recovery, still had things to work on. but she had the tools to handle it herself and a support system that wouldn't let her falter. Jenna's anthropology study was over and she had missed her home so much. Now that they were back, she had every intention of letting Damon know about their daughter but in the middle of a grocery store wasn't exactly what she had pictured.

"I know he needs to know. Sophie is going to be one soon. He's missed all of her little moments. I don't want him to miss any more." She paused, taking a breath. Her heart just ached as she remembered all those hard nights at the hospital when Sophie had been more than a month early and not knowing if she was okay. It had been hard, and even though she had Jenna and her parents had flown out once they heard, they weren't the person she wanted most. They weren't the father.

Then Sophie had been discharged and brought home and Elena took on the role of single mother. Sophie had taken over her world and heart in a way she never could've expected. She loved being a mother, but doing everything on her own and celebrating all those little moments without Damon had been a tough pill to swallow. She almost cracked and unblocked his number; almost called him to confess everything, but then she would look at Sophie and her reasoning for all of this would come back.

She wasn't done with fixing herself and before Damon entered her life again she needed to be.

Then one day she was taking Sophie for a walk around a nearby park and had bumped, quite literally, into Matt Donovan. He was playing football in the park and had nearly tackled her as he tried to catch a pass. After he spent ten minutes apologizing, he caught one sight of the baby in the carriage and struck up a conversation about how he had raised his younger sister. The two became instant friends and Matt had been the shoulder for her to lean on during those lonely nights in South Dakota.

There had been a time or two when they almost crossed the line into something more than friends but in the end nothing ever came of it. They had remained friends and when Matt found out she was coming home, planning on telling Damon, he demanded to join her and be the support system she needed. He was her best friend. But that was it.

"When are you going to tell Damon about Sophie then?" Jenna asked, running a soothing hand along Elena's back.

Jenna had really stepped up and been the mother figure Elena needed. She showered Sophie with all the love a grandmother could give and had been there for Elena when she wokeup crying out for Damon in the middle of the night. Jenna had stayed by her side and made sure she was eating and taking care of herself while Sophie was in the hospital fighting to breathe.

And now she was still here trying to make sure Elena was okay when she should be getting back home and catching up on some much needed sleep.

"Stefan invited Sophie and me to dinner." Elena reached for her phone, seeing if she missed a call. She continued when she realized there was nothing, placing it on her stomach. "I was thinking I could try to set up a time to talk to Damon then."

It was going to be the most difficult conversation of her life. Keeping Damon out of Sophie's life hadn't been an easy decision. She had eight long months of guilt followed by another eight months of anxiety. Damon deserved to know he had a daughter. He was the father and Elena wanted him in Sophie's life. It was just a matter of getting a clear head and making sure that meant she didn't fall back into old habits. It was all for Sophie.

"That's a good idea." Jenna squeezed her niece's hand. "Get used to being around him again before you try to talk one on one. It's a good opportunity to test your emotions in a safe setting."

"I'm hoping. I'm just worried that I'll give it away or that Caroline will get it out of me." Just then Elena's phone vibrated on her stomach. She lifted it up to view the screen and saw Caroline's face smiling at her. "Speak of the devil."

Jenna gave a kiss to Elena's cheek before sitting up. "I'll let you two talk. I'm headed home. I need a break from you!"

Elena smiled. "I bet! Thank you for everything, Aunt Jenna!"

Her aunt gave a wave and left Elena's room, closing the door behind her. Finally alone, Elena answered the phone with a nervous and shaky, "Hello?"

"Elena Gilbert! You move all the way to South Dakota and have a baby and don't tell me!"

* * *

"Thanks for dinner, bro," Stefan said, relaxing in his recliner after cleaning up the dishes.

Damon rubbed his full belly. He had cooked a rather delicious meal–if he did say so himself. Despite his mind running at full speed over his run-in with Elena, he had managed to get dinner in and out without a hitch. He even managed to keep the dinner conversation flowing on everything but Elena until Stefan opened his big mouth during dessert and Caroline blew a fuse.

Now, Damon could only sit on the couch, his eyes checking on the hallway in the hopes that Caroline would come barreling down soon and tell him what Elena had said. They hadn't breached the topic of Elena in a long time but with her return to Mystic Falls, he had to know what was going on. And he had to get Caroline to tell him.

"So, Elena has a kid," Stefan said, causing Damon's head to snap in his direction. "What? It's where your heads at. We have to talk about it sometime."

"Maybe I don't want to, Stef."

Stefan sighed heavily. "You've been quiet on all things Elena since the night after you ended things with Charlotte. I think it's time."

Damon would never forget that night. It had been a few weeks after he had found out that Elena had left Mystic Falls to head out on some trip with her aunt. He'd called her nonstop only to be met with her voicemail. It took him awhile to figure out she had blocked him and when he did, he had reached the end of his fuse.

Stefan, Damon, Ric, and Mason were all out at a bar and he had one drink too many. Apparently the limit he had reached meant truth time and he spilled everything to his best friends and brother. They all listened and gasped and cursed when the story required it. It wasn't until he was all done that Stefan finally had enough and asked the one question he had been asking himself in the months since Elena left.

_Why was he with Charlotte?_

It didn't take long after that drunken outburst for a deep conversation with Stefan to follow, finally forcing him to face everything he had feared. He'd come forward about the conversations he had with his family in Texas, where they'd called him out on falling hard and Elena playing him. How those words from his family had brought up his own fears that the one girl he had fallen the hardest for would break him.

Afterwards, Stefan called him out on everything. How it wasn't right going for Charlotte because she was safe, that Elena deserved better than to be strung along, and Charlotte deserved better than to be cheated on. He had been an asshole to them both.

It ultimately ended with Damon heading over to Charlotte's and ending everything, confessing that he was in love with someone else. She slapped him and called him every name in the book, but he deserved every bit of it and he took it. When he finally left, he felt a heavy weight being lifted off his shoulders.

He was done hiding. He loved Elena. He missed her. He wanted to be with her.

But she was gone and he had realized it all too late.

So after a long talk with Stefan, he decided not to chase her. He'd ruined everything they'd been building and didn't deserve another chance with her. Not anymore. At this point, he just wanted her to find happiness–even if it wasn't with him. It's what she'd earned after everything. And he never spoke of it again

That was until he saw her in the supermarket. Now everything he had shoved down was rushing back up and he remembered how sick he felt at the thought of Elena having a baby with another guy. How jealous he had been at the sight of Matt's hands on her. Yeah, he didn't want to talk about it.

"We have to talk about it," Stefan said. "If Caroline sets a date, she'll be here for dinner. You'll be in a room together and I think you have to tell her you're sorry."

Damon laughed. "Yeah, that'll go over well. I'm sure she'll laugh about my little apology during pillow talk with her boyfriend."

"Don't do that. Do go for humor just because you're hurt."

With a scowl, Damon responded. "It's my coping mechanism. Let me be."

"Just don't go for the jugular like you did earlier. Show her you've achieved some growth."

"It's not like it's going to make a difference." None of this was going how he pictured. He'd made peace with letting her go, but he thought she would stay out wherever she was and he would never have to actually see her moving on. Now the images were burned onto his retinas.

Before Stefan could respond, Caroline stomped into the room, collapsing on the couch beside Damon. "I can't believe she had a baby and didn't even tell me! I'm her best friend."

"Using present tense, I see," Damon mumbled.

"No!" Caroline growled, pointed a finger at him. "You don't get to comment. It's your fault she left. If you hadn't strung her along all those years." She slapped his arm. "She couldn't even tell me about that!"

"I said I was sorry, Blondie! She's back, okay? No need to bruise your brother in law."

"Yes, she is back," Caroline said meaningfully, putting her hand down and staring into his eyes. "And don't you send her running for the hills again. Be on your best behavior at dinner next Sunday."

"She's coming to Sunday dinner?" Damon couldn't hide the hope in his voice. Despite the confusion and jealousy, he would be lying if he said he didn't want to see her again.

Caroline nodded. "Yes. She's busy the rest of the week trying to settle back in. So, best behavior. You hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am," Damon responded, holding his fingers up in scouts honor.

Elena was settling into Mystic Falls. That meant she was staying for a long time. Maybe Stefan was right and he should apologize. It was the least he could do for being the reason for sending her away, for how he treated her the past few years. Even if he couldn't be with Elena, he had to make things right. It was the least he could do to make up for how he treated her.


	22. Chapter 21: Go Through Hell To Prove

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A huge thank you to the delivery gods for getting Morgan (morvamp) her new mac earlier than expected so that she could fix up this chapter and make it ready for all of you. And as always a thank you to my peaches for helping me tell this story the way I'm picturing even when my punctuation and sentence structure is a mess. If you haven't already check out her stories because they're AH-MAZING!**

* * *

"I can't believe you're a mom!" Bonnie exclaimed as Sophie giggled in her arms.

Elena peeked out from behind her hands, much to her daughter's glee. Who knew a game as easy as peek-a-boo could be so entertaining? Sophie would play for hours if you let her. And she usually only played with people she felt comfortable with. So to see her having so much fun with Bonnie nearby and not watching warily truly warmed Elena's heart. Bonnie squeezed Sophie tight, causing the little girl to smile wide as she rested upon her knee. Just the sight of that smile gave Elena more happiness than she ever thought possible.

"Me neither," Elena smiled.

Bonnie had showed up on Elena's parents' doorstep a few hours ago after a long phone call the night before. They had spent much of the day catching up on Bonnie's travels and Elena's life before breaching the topic of her disappearance. Unlike Caroline—who Elena had slowly pulled away from to prevent her secret from being spilled—Bonnie and Elena had kept in touch through letters and emails. It worked because Elena could control what was being said and nothing could be heard in the background to give herself away.

And Bonnie didn't pry the way Caroline did.

She hated keeping her secret from her friends; hated having to distance herself even further. But it was necessary. She knew Caroline couldn't keep the secret from Stefan and she wouldn't have asked her to. And both of them would try to talk her out of her decision to keep Damon in the dark. It was painful and it only alienated herself, but it also helped her focus on the reason she was doing all of this. She had to find herself and she had to raise Sophie.

Since the first had been succeeded and the second was shaping up the same, that now left her with a lot of catching up and making up to do.

Thankfully, the moment Bonnie took hold of Sophie, it eased away the tension and Elena's best friend found herself capable of forgiveness.

"It's just wild," Bonnie stated. "I don't know how you did all this on your own and managed to face all that difficult stuff from high school."

"Jenna helped. And my parents." Elena smiled. "And Matt."

"Yes, Matt," Bonnie said, bouncing Sophie on her knee. "Let's talk about him."

"What's there to talk about?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "_He_ has blue eyes. _Sophie_ has blue eyes. He tagged along with you all the way back home. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

Elena took a breath. This was definitely the part of the conversation she'd wanted to keep away from. The last thing she wanted to do was give away the truth about Sophie's father before she even had the opportunity to talk to Damon herself. She needed to tread carefully here.

"So they have the same eye color? They're not the only two people with blue eyes. Caroline has blue eyes."

"Well, unless there has been some medical advancement I don't know about and you and Care have something you want to share, I highly doubt she had a hand in this little beauty."

Sighing, Elena reached for Sophie who had started putting her hands out and took her on her lap. Her little girl smiled up at her before resting her head against her chest and relaxing. "I've only known Matt for shorter than Sophie has been alive. He's not the father. He's not my boyfriend. He's just a very good friend."

"Then who is?"

"_Bonnie_," Elena warned.

Her best friend huffed, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know what to say here, Elena. You leave Mystic Falls without any explanation besides an email to me and a quick coffee date with Caroline saying that you need time to yourself. Then you come back—without even telling any of us, mind you—and it's with a baby. There are a lot of questions it's going to raise up."

Kissing her daughters head, Elena tried to use the love she had for Sophie as her strength. It's what had gotten her this far. "And I'll answer them eventually. But… But I just can't right now."

"And I'm trying to be open here because obviously you've been through a lot, but I just don't understand the secrecy."

"There's reason for it. I know it's hard to understand but I just need you to."

Bonnie studied her for a few minutes, her eyes focused. It reminded Elena of the way she looked at one of her students to see whether or not they were lying. It was a hard gaze to be at the receiving end of, but Elena stood strong.

"Will everything be revealed eventually?"

Elena nodded. "I just have a few more things to work out."

There was that gaze again. Ever the knowing teacher. Then something seemed to click because Bonnie's back straightened and she stared at Elena with sadness in her eyes. "The father doesn't know, does he?"

Elena bit her lip. Then finally shook her head, her hand rubbing Sophie's back as she started to close her eyes in sleep. "I never told him."

"Elena," Bonnie breathed, pity and disappointment battling within her tone.

Ignoring the tightness in her chest, Elena stood and brought Sophie over to the playpen. She rested her on her back, still asleep, and made sure all her toys were taken out so she wouldn't roll over and harm herself. The only toy she left inside was a stuffed monkey named Zippy that had been handed down to Elena from her mother.

When Elena sat back on the couch beside Bonnie, her friend was still staring at her with judging eyes. Taking a deep breath, Elena began to speak. "You don't know the extent of it, Bonnie. So, please keep all judgements to yourself until you hear the whole story."

After a moment Bonnie put up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I'll try."

"Thank you," Elena responded. "It's all I'm asking."

"You're just scaring me."

Elena gave a little smile. "I'm okay. I wasn't, but I am now. That's all that matters."

Bonnie nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," Elena repeated.

They were both silent for a while as both their gazed drifted towards where Sophie was sleeping soundly. It hadn't been an easy road but Elena wouldn't have changed a thing if it meant getting to where she was now. Sophie was such a beacon of light as she fought her way out of the darkness. A part of her wondered where she would be at this moment if she had never found out she was pregnant. Would she ever have found herself again? Elena liked to think so. It just may have taken longer.

Sophie may have been her reason for fighting, but it was Elena who fought. Sophie had just been the spark.

"So," Bonnie finally said, breaking the silence. "You and Matt are definitely not a thing?"

If Elena hadn't known Bonnie since they were little, she may not have picked up on the subtle changes to her face. The coy smile, the bright eyes, the averted gaze. Bonnie Bennett had a crush. "Do you have a thing for Matt?" Elena asked, excitedly, clapping her hands together.

"We only met today and it was just for a few minutes but I don't know how you didn't jump all over that!"

Elena laughed, remembering the quick introduction Bonnie and Matt had in the midst of their heavy talk. Matt had been upstairs with Sophie since before Bonnie showed up and had quickly headed down the stairs while they were deep in conversation with the little girl in his arms. He handed her off to Elena saying he was headed for a run and Elena had quickly made the introductions. Bonnie had been ogling, but seeing Matt Donovan in gym clothes showcasing strong arm muscles and chiseled calves would do that to any woman.

Now she was seeing the whole interaction a little differently.

"The thought crossed my mind a time or two," Elena said as Bonnie listened intently. "But I just wasn't in the right place. I'm still not ready for a relationship. And in all honesty, he's been so amazing with me and Sophie that I would never wreck the friendship."

"So," Bonnie sang, "Does Matt feel the same way?"

Elena nodded, smiling. Bonnie was losing her subtlety. "We had a long talk one night. We're just friends."

"Interesting."

"He'll be at Sunday dinner at Caroline's," Elena pointed out, knowing Bonnie had been invited too.

Bonnie smiled wide. "Oh really?"

"Mm hmm," Elena responded, smiling a closed mouth smile as she watched her best friend fight back a dance. Looks like her matchmaking skills would have to be put back to work. Granted, this time she would be going solo since things between her and Damon were tense. And after she spilled the truth, it was only going to get worse.

"Elena?" Bonnie said, suddenly, somber.

"What is it, Bon?"

Her friend gave a sad smile, reaching out to squeeze Elena's hand. "I missed this."

Elena returned the smile. "Me too."

* * *

"They're late."

Caroline slammed the tray down on the table, causing everyone to look in her direction. "That's enough, Damon. You're driving me crazy."

He had the decency to give her an apologetic look. The truth was he was more than a little on edge. For the first time in over a year, Elena and he would be together for an extended period of time. The thought of it was making him a nervous wreck. His feelings hadn't changed but she had clearly moved on while she had been away. How did he even handle it? Damon now knew what it felt like to be in Elena's shoes. She had watched as he fell in love with someone else. Elena had stood by his side until, ultimately, it had become too much.

How had she not gone crazy? He was only days into dealing with what she'd been through and he already felt jealous, mad, crazed. His emotions were all over the damn place.

Since arriving, his eyes had not strayed from the door. He'd paced and helped Caroline and Stefan prepare for their guests. Had welcomed Bonnie inside and listened while she talked about her conversations earlier with Elena. Not once did she mention Matt. The unknown was making him feel unhinged.

"Sorry," he mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. "But she disappeared on you and then shows up late? It's fucked up."

"I'll be the judge of my own feelings, Damon. She's only five minutes late."

He couldn't even look at her sister in law anymore. It had only been five minutes and he was acting like she had left all over again. Thankfully, before he could dwell inside his own head any further, the doorbell rang. From his spot in the living room, Damon watched as Caroline skipped to the door and opened it wide.

Caroline squealed a high pitch sound that should've ruptured ear drums as she embraced Elena. He could only see the marled green and blue of her dress and the full waves of her hair. He could only see _her_. It was only when he looked beyond Elena to take notice of Matt, dressed in beige slacks and a polo, who was holding Sophie, that his focus drifted. The little girl still captivated him as much as she did that first meeting. She should've been crying at the sounds emanating from Caroline and Elena but inside she just stared at them, her hands reaching out.

Finally, Caroline released her, tears in her eyes before ushering them in. "Come in! Come in!"

Damon didn't move as he watched Elena introduce everyone to Sophie and Matt. She gave Matt no title, but by the way she trusted him with her daughter and their interaction in the store he had to be the father, right? I mean, she even brought him to this dinner party. That meant something.

"And you've met Damon," Elena finally said, gesturing to where he sat.

Matt nodded, hand reaching out. "How could I forget?"

They shook hands and Damon watched as Sophie bright blue eyes turned on him. She looked at him for a second, studying him, and it made him drop his mouth in a dopey smile. At his silliness, Sophie giggled and smiled, her hands reaching out for him.

Matt seemed to still, instantly. He looked beside him to where Elena was and she was looking between Sophie and Damon with that odd look she had been wearing in the supermarket. Damon was confused beyond belief, but still Sophie reached for him.

"It's okay," she said, quietly almost breathlessly. "He can hold her."

"Are you sure?" Matt asked, staring at her with concern. There was something in his gaze that irked Damon. Did he know? Had Elena confided in Matt what Damon had put her through the past few years? Was that the reason for Matt's hesitation and for the way he seemed to be protecting Elena from him? The way a boyfriend would.

Elena looked at Sophie and gave a sad smile as she turned her eyes towards Damon. Finally, she nodded and seemed to be blinking back tears as she did. "I'm sure. He can hold her. She wants him."

Damon cleared his throat. "I don't have to. It's okay."

Elena shook her head. "No, it's okay. Sophie wants you to hold her."

Matt grabbed Sophie and held her out to Damon. Cautiously, carefully, Damon reached out and took hold of her. She eased into his arms, pressing her hands against his shoulder and chest. Now that she was closer Damon could notice all the little things about her. Like the bow of her lip, just like Elena's. The way she smelled like the scent that seemed to just belong to babies. She had a little freckle in the corner of her eye and had both her ears pierced.

She was a little part of Elena and she was beautiful.

Damon smiled at her and she gave a little smile back, reaching out and running her tiny little hands along his face. Her let her explore, making a show of widening his eyes and sticking his tongue out. Sophie just giggled, placing her hands over her eyes and then pulling them away.

"She wants you to play peek-a-boo," Elena said, softly.

Turning away from Sophie, Damon looked at this woman who had been such a large part of his life. She was a stranger now, but because of their past, he'd always be able to read her. He could see past her fake smile to the sadness lingering at it's edges, to the tears in her eyes. He knew from experience she was seconds from breaking down and Damon could only furrow his brows in confusion. Just as he was about to ask if she was okay, Caroline swooped in.

"Elena, can you help me in the kitchen?"

Elena nodded, sniffling, before steeling a smile on her face and letting Caroline guide her towards the kitchen. Damon looked towards Matt who watched her go. "Is she okay?"

Matt nodded, quickly. "Yeah, she's just going through a lot. Being back and all."

Sophie patted his face, bringing his attention back to her. "I'm sorry," he said, smiling at her.

Ignoring the tug at his chest pulling him towards Elena, he lifted his hand and covered his eyes and played peek-a-boo with the smiling baby in his arms. Something was going on with Elena. He may not know what exactly, but he figured seeing her daughter smile and knowing he was capable of getting along with Matt might make whatever she was going through a little bit easier. Maybe knowing that things between them could be better would help.

He just needed to make an effort.

"So, Matt," Damon began, "How did you and Elena meet?"

* * *

Elena watched as Stefan blew raspberries against Sophie's stomach, sending her into a fit of giggles she could hardly maintain. Her little head flew back in laughter in a move Matt had deemed "The Dinosaur" when she first started doing it. She could only watch from the counter in the open kitchen that overlooked the living room and dining room as the people she had left circled around and showered her daughter with love.

To say returning back home had been emotional would be an understatement. Tonight was just the roller coaster version of it.

"How's the antipasto coming?" Caroline called from beside the stove.

"Good," Elena replied, mixing in the oil and vinegar.

They fell into small talk as Caroline took out the chicken cutlets and put them on a platter along with already made pasta. Elena complimented her best friend on her beautiful home. While Elena had been in South Dakota, Caroline had filled her in on all the remodeling done to the fixer-upper she and Stefan had bought. Elena had seen photos and sketches, but nothing could compete with the real thing. It was comfortable, while still having the kind of class and elegance Caroline liked.

Each room flowed into the next and the whole house had a similar color palette. It was perfect and beautiful and the right blend of the soft elegance of Caroline and the dark rustic style of Stefan.

As they completed the finishing touches on dinner, Caroline explained stories from her work life and all the various parties she had planned. Elena remembered from their emails how Caroline was now the lead planner at her office and was one of the most sought planners beside her boss.

The whole conversation was flowing perfectly until the tables turned on Elena.

"I really missed you, Elena," Caroline said.

"I missed you, too," Elena replied, hugging her best friend for the umpteenth time tonight. "I'm so sorry I left."

"Why did you leave?"

Elena pulled back, eyes dropping to the floor. She could be a little bit honest, couldn't she? "I needed to work on myself. I was a mess back then. Damaged."

"Why couldn't you talk to me? To Bonnie?" Caroline frowned. "Why did you have to nearly go across the country?"

"I needed a fresh start. I needed to be where no one knew me. Where I could focus on myself." Elena sighed. Those early months in South Dakota were some of the hardest. Having to face all the damaged Nik had done, having to relive every harsh word he said about her brought up things about herself she didn't even know. Nik had used her compassion against her and she had let him. Not to mention what she had let Damon reduce her to. "I was in denial."

"I feel like the worst friend ever for not noticing. I knew you weren't okay, but I had no idea it had become that bad."

Elena reached out and took her hands in hers. "I didn't either."

"But you're okay now?"

"I will be."

Unconsciously, Elena's eyes flicked over towards where Damon was. He was staring at their daughter as his brother danced along with her in his arms, revealing a look of such love in his eyes that it made her heart tug. Damon didn't have a clue that he was the father and yet still he was staring at Sophie like that. It may have been for all the right reasons but she would forever regret taking all those first moments from him.

"Elena," Caroline questioned, uncharacteristically shy.

She looked over towards her, brows lifted in a question. "What is it, Care?"

Caroline paused for a moment. "Were you pregnant with Sophie when you left?"

Elena nodded. "Yes."

"Did you make the decision to leave before or after you found out?"

"After." Then she amended, "That same night."

Caroline looked at Elena warily. They were facing each other now, the finished dinner and party forgotten. "Elena, is Damon the father?"

Elena's eyes widened. "Why would you say that?"

"You told us you were leaving right after he got engaged. Damon was a mess afterwards. And not to mention your face whenever Damon interacts with Sophie." Caroline grabbed hold of Elena's arms. "Things between you two never ended after that night in the bar, did they?"

Elena shook her head. "No, they didn't."

"And Damon's the father?"

She couldn't hold the truth back any longer. Lying to Caroline right now when the truth was right there wouldn't do any good. The secret was eating her up inside and she just couldn't take it any longer. Seeing Damon holding their daughter tonight, interacting with her, making her smile and laugh, had done her in.

"Damon is Sophie's father."

The sound of glasses breaking caused both girls to turn their heads. There standing amidst broken glass was Damon with a very shocked expression on his face. So many emotions flickered through his expression: shock, sadness, happiness, fear. But the one emotion that was the most prevalent was anger. And it had Elena stepping back.

Damon remained locked where he was, standing amongst the shards. His anger only became more evident as his lips twisted into a snarl and he spat, "What did you just say?"


	23. Chapter 22: Give All My Secrets Away

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A huge thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for going over this for me. She is honestly the best! Read her stories! Do I really have to keep begging you too?**

* * *

Damon watched as Caroline and Elena bustled around the kitchen preparing dinner. He noticed Elena kept a watchful eye on where he sat playing with Sophie and talking with Matt. She just kept staring and it had him feeling uneasy. Was he holding Sophie right? Did she not trust him? Maybe she was just waiting for something bad to happen. Damon just had to keep Sophie smiling and stay interested in Matt and hopefully she would let up a bit. It was really all he could do, seeing as things between him and Elena were awkward at best.

Matt had started telling stories of Elena's time in South Dakota—all their trips and funny Sophie stories—that he drew the attention of Bonnie and Stefan who had been in a deep conversation of their own. Judging by the way Bonnie was now staring at Matt and the way Matt got closer and closer to her, Damon thought maybe he had read Matt's relationship with Elena all wrong.

It was clear from Matt's story of how he had met Elena that he couldn't be the father. The two of them had met after Elena had Sophie, and from the way Matt talked about Elena and Sophie, it was more in the way of a loving uncle than any kind of romance. It was also pretty evident that Elena had been pregnant when she left, though he had done that math when Elena told him Sophie's age at the supermarket last week.

But if Matt wasn't the father, who was?

As Matt told a story of Elena absolutely losing her mind when they took a trip to the Badlands where Jurassic Park was filmed, he watched as Bonnie placed her hand on his arm and laughed at his imitation. Matt absolutely lit up at the attention. It seemed a little romance between Bon and the Quarterback was blossoming right before his eyes.

When Matt's attention turned towards Bonnie as she asked him about growing up in South Dakota, Stefan took a seat beside Damon and started playing patty-cake with Sophie. She was giggling and having him roll her tiny balled hands over and over. It had both grown men smiling ear to ear.

"This is going to be you pretty soon," Damon whispered.

If possible, Stefan's smile widened. He leaned forwards and blew a raspberry against her belly, causing her to throw her head back and nearly knock Damon out. The absolute glee on her face as she eased back into his arms and stared at Stefan, practically asking him to do it again, made it worth it though. And when Stefan did it again a second time, causing Sophie to throw her head back again, he was ready for it.

"We call that 'the dinosaur'," Matt said, looking over at the brothers.

Damon tried to bite back the bile rising in his throat at the term "we" and instead smiled at how accurate the term was. "Does she do that a lot?"

"Only when she finds something hysterical."

"Do it again, Stefan," Bonnie asked, smiling beside Matt.

"Happily!" Stefan replied, leaning forward and blowing another raspberry against her tummy. Sophie let out a squeal, and sure enough did the dinosaur with a wide smile and rosy cheeks.

Everyone watched as Stefan did it over and over again, looking at Sophie like she was the most magical thing. Damon was guilty of it himself. He couldn't get the smile off of his face as he watched Sophie repeatedly jolt back, somehow trusting him to make sure she wouldn't fall.

Finally, Sophie seemed to have enough because she turned to Damon smiling and let out such an exhausted little sigh that tugged right on his heartstrings. "Did Stef tire you out, Soph?"

He knew she couldn't answer, but the way she kind of sagged into his arms had him feeling like she understood. When he looked up at Stefan, it was obvious that as tired as Sophie looked, Stefan looked ten times worse. It had Bonnie, Matt, and himself cracking up.

"I don't know how Elena does it," Stefan sighed.

"She's amazing with her," Matt stated. "It took a long time before she even let me step in and help. The fact that she left Sophie in here while she's in the kitchen is quite a big step for her."

"Really attached, huh?" Bonnie said. "It's so great of you to help her. Really amazing of you."

Matt gave a smile before softening it and saying, "Sophie had a rough start. It was hard for Elena to let her out of her sight in the beginning. Even with Jenna."

"What happened?" Damon asked as Sophie grabbed hold of his finger and squeezed tight.

"Sophie was born a month early. Her little lungs weren't quite ready yet." Matt straightened his mouth, puckering as he looked down at Sophie. "But she's a fighter, this one. She pulled through."

"That must have been so hard on Elena."

Matt nodded. "I only met her afterwards. When she had eased up a bit. But from what Jenna told me, she was a wreck. She wouldn't leave Sophie side and any little cough or change in breathing had Elena rushing to the doctors."

"Were Grayson and Miranda there?" Bonnie asked.

"Yeah. Her parents flew right in when Elena went into labor and Miranda stayed until Elena sent her away. She was determined to do this on her own, even with everything she was going through."

"Everything she was going through?" Damon questioned with a sick feeling in his stomach.

"That's Elena's story to tell. I just thought you should know what she went through with Sophie so that her constant glances and wary behavior make sense."

Matt didn't even let his words settle before he turned back to Bonnie and asked her about her travels with her grandmother. Damon let the conversation fade in the background as he stared down at Sophie. She was looking up at Stefan, reaching out for him. "Do you want to hold her?"

Stefan looked warily at her, almost as if she would break apart at any moment. "Would Elena be okay with that?"

Damon let out a brief chuckle. "She let me hold her and I'm the irresponsible one."

"True." Stefan smiled. Carefully, he reached out for Sophie and took her in his arms. He sat her upon his lap as Sophie became infatuated with his wedding ring. She twirled his hand around, her tiny fingers running along the shiny platinum band.

"See. Doing good so far. You heard what the Quarterback said. She's a strong one, just like her mom."

Stefan smiled down at her just as the background music switched to some big band music. Sophie's face lit up and started banging her hands on Stefan's chest. "Do you want to dance, Miss Sophie?"

Without waiting for her reply—because there wouldn't be one—Stefan stood and kept her solidly in his arms as he started to sway to the music. Sophie was loving every second of it and it was hard for Damon to not stare in wonder at this little girl. Knowing what she had been through, what Elena had been through, made a little Sophie sized wedge in his heart. She was only eight months old and had already overcome such obstacles.

Yet he had spent the better part of his life overcoming the fear of loving Elena. Such a stupid thing compared to what this little one had been through.

And seeing his brother dancing with her, knowing Stefan was getting started on his own family, affected Damon more than he could put into words. His brother's life was moving forward and Damon's was still stuck in the past.

With a little intake of breath, Damon stood up and grabbed hold of the empty glasses scattered about the room. He asked everyone if they wanted refills and headed towards the kitchen with the intention of refreshing their drinks. Over the counter, he could see Caroline and Elena close together, deep in conversation. Caroline seemed to be looking at Elena with concern and Elena looked the most uncomfortable he had seen her since she returned. As he made his way around the counter and stepped into the kitchen, he caught Elena's words.

"Damon is Sophie's father."

The world as he had known it a mere second ago tilted on its axis. He lost the ability to hold on to reality and the glasses in his hands. They fell, shattering against the floor in what seemed like slow motion. The sound of glass breaking echoed in his ears, but all he could hear were Elena's words over and over again. It was playing on repeat and at first the thought elated him. He had a daughter with Elena. A woman he loved and had been such a big part of his life. Then reality came crushing in.

She had taken off pregnant with their baby. Sophie had almost died. And she hadn't told him.

Caroline and Elena both snapped their heads towards him just as the anger reared its head. It had felt like hours had gone by since the glasses fell from his hand when it had only been a few seconds. Elena's eyes were wide and frightened as she looked upon him and something in his expression had caused her to stagger back.

Damon couldn't even move. He was frozen.

But he could still speak. His mouth twisted into a snarl as he spat, "What did you just say?"

The tears were immediately flooding Elena's eyes. And it seemed all she could say was his name. "Damon."

"What did you just say, Elena? What did you just tell Caroline?"

Twin tears streamed down her face. "I wanted to tell you. I had planned to tell you. After tonight. Just the two of us. I didn't want you to find out like this."

"I should have found out over a year ago!"

"Damon," Caroline warned, stepping towards him and in between himself and Elena. "Calm down."

"No!" he snapped. "She hid _my_ child from me!"

"I didn't know what else to do," Elena cried out. She turned and faced the counter, bracing herself against it and taking deep, calming breaths.

"Don't do this here, Damon. Go walk it off." Caroline was right in front of him, pleading with him. "You'll say things you don't mean."

He felt arms on him and turned around to see Stefan trying to pull him away from the kitchen. His eyes searched the living room and saw Sophie being shielded by Matt as Bonnie held her and tried to distract her from the yelling. It wasn't working because Sophie started crying, loud, wailing cries that pierced his ears and broke his heart. Sophie was _his_ daughter. His daughter was now crying because of him. _No_. Because of what Elena had done to them.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Elena step out of the kitchen, moving past him. He could read the thoughts on her face. Blame. Maybe another time, he could have owned it. But not this time.

"Don't even think about it," he said. "She's crying because of you! Because you kept me in the dark!"

"Damon, we'll talk about this later. Right now I need to get to my daughter."

"_Our_ daughter!" Damon yelled, shocking everyone around him. Stefan stepped in front of Caroline, pushing Damon back. Elena sneaked through, racing towards Bonnie and taking Sophie in her arms. Sophie clung to Elena as she made loud shushing noises and started rocking her back and forth.

Matt was going through Elena's diaper bag, pulling a pacifier and teddy bear free. It was making him sick. He was Sophie's father. He should be the one knowing what his daughter needed and rushing to her aide. Seeing Matt step up as that role in Sophie's life and working seamlessly with Elena to calm her was only making matters worse.

As Sophie's cries quieted, Damon felt his anger rise. Then he was seeing red when Matt spoke.

"Maybe we should leave."'

"I missed out on eight months of her life. I'm not missing out on another second." Damon kept his voice dangerously even.

"Is fighting with Elena the way you want to be remembered? It's upsetting Sophie."

"How about you back off, Quarterback. Sophie has a father."

"Enough!" Caroline screamed, bringing out another wail from Sophie. Elena had her on her side, with her hands slid between her legs, supporting her head as she rocked her back and forth. "If you want to speak your peace then go upstairs and get it out. You're not going to do it in front of Sophie."

"Fine."

Damon didn't even wait for a response from Elena before going up the stairs and heading towards a guest bedroom. He started pacing, his thoughts running wild. He was a father. He had a daughter with Elena. How did this even happen?

Then he remembered their last time.

But they had used protection. None of this made any sense.

And yet it all fit. The timing, Sophie's eyes. Everything pointed to him. Damon had even thought it himself until Matt had showed up. Now everything was matching up even though it was all so confusing.

Then Elena peeked into the room.

She stepped in cautiously and Damon halted his pacing. He was trying to get his thoughts together so he didn't completely snap at her. But the anger was still there, boiling inside of him, just waiting for an excuse to be unleashed.

"This isn't how I wanted you to find out. I wanted to get together tomorrow or some other day and tell you. But when Caroline asked…"

"Why didn't you tell me, Elena?" Damon pleaded, the anger giving way to desperation. "I know we were in a bad place but I deserved to know I had a daughter."

Elena sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "You were engaged to Charlotte. We had ended things." Then she looked at him. "I didn't want you to choose me because I was pregnant."

"You honestly think I would do that?"

"Nothing made you choose me before. Why wouldn't I think any differently?"

Damon knew he had screwed up. Stefan had forced that realization onto him enough that it stuck. But he didn't think he would be the kind of guy to just be with a woman because she was pregnant. Even if he _was_ an asshole back then.

He loved Elena. If she'd just been honest with him, then he'd have finally had the push he'd needed to be with her. He would've had a reason to fight through his fear that she would hurt him again.

But here she was again, tearing out his heart. Repeating their same mistakes.

"I still deserved to know!"

Elena looked down at the floor. "I am going to regret not telling you about Sophie for as long as I live. But my reasoning behind it? Why I hid her from you? It was what I need to do."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he yelled. "I have rights, Elena! She's my daughter too!"

"And I had to fix myself, Damon." She had started crying again and her voice took on a raspy, desperate tone. "I never faced what Nik did to me. What I allowed you to do to me. I compromised my morals because I was in love with you. You got engaged and I wanted to fight one last time for you. To get you to finally admit you were scared. I had the pregnancy test that night in the rain. I wanted to tell you. But you…"

"But I what, Elena? Pushed you aside? I was engaged!"

She lifted up her hand to wipe at her eyes. "You were engaged and you were so cruel that night that I knew it was too late. You did what was expected of you. You were so scared that I would hurt you that you chose the safer option instead. And I needed to be strong enough to handle having a baby with you. So I left."

"With my child! I missed her being born, her first smile… I missed eight months, Elena!" He couldn't stop screaming. It was the only way he could think of expressing all the turmoil rolling inside him. "What if she died, Elena? Matt told me she was born a month early. That she nearly didn't make it. What then, Elena? I didn't deserve a phone call then?"

"I wanted to! Oh, God, did I want to! I spent so many days and nights staring at her in that plastic box with tubes going in and out of her body, keeping her alive. And all I wanted was you. My parents, Jenna… They were hurting but they didn't feel the pain I was feeling. Only you would understand that. Even if you were just finding out."

The pain in Elena's eyes made his words soften. He never wanted to be the reason for that pain again, but she'd kept this from him. If only she'd given him the opportunity, he could have proven her wrong, proven he could be both a good father and lover. Which, now, he knew he could.

Yes, he would've understood her pain because he felt all the worries of parenthood already overwhelming him. His daughter was a floor below him and he already missed her. "She could have died and I never would have met her, held her."

Elena turned away from him, facing the window. "But giving in then, Damon… When I wasn't in my right frame of mind, when I had already come so far… I couldn't do it."

Silence enveloped them. There was still so many unanswered questions and Damon was still so angry, but he couldn't handle it right now. He needed some time to breathe. Yelling at Elena wasn' getting him nowhere, even if it made him feel better.

Finally, he spoke. "Did I really hurt you that bad?"

Turning towards him, Elena looked at him and he felt the pain in her eyes. "It wasn't just you. I'm not letting you off for putting me in that situation but I could've stopped it. I know I had some fault in it, too."

"We really fucked this up, didn't we?"

Elena gave a little lopsided smile. "I don't regret it. It brought me Sophie."

Damon nodded. He didn't even have it in himself to correct her. Sophie was his daughter, but he hadn't put in the time Elena had. Even if that wasn't his fault, he just couldn't take that away from her. Matt had said how connected Elena was Sophie and a part of Damon knew that their daughter had been the catalyst that sparked Elena to work on herself.

Now, he just needed to figure out where his place was in their world.

"How do we do this?" he asked.

Elena shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

"I guess we'll figure it out."

Nodding, Elena stepped closer. "I am sorry, Damon."

"I know. I'm sorry, too." And he was. For everything. For being so scared to be with her and yet not being able to let her go. He wasn't sure if he could forgive her for this but it deserved the time to be worked out. Damon had grown enough to understand that fact.

"I think I'm going to go. Do you want to meet up tomorrow? Spend some time with Sophie." Elena gave a sad, little smile. "I can teach you all her little tricks and maybe we can work up to you getting her for a day… or night. Depending how it all goes."

"I'd like that."

With his anger quelled to a slight tremor, he was able find some hope. Maybe there was a way for it all to work out. If they worked together. Maybe.

* * *

Elena turned the page of the book she read to Sophie every night. It was Sophie's favorite page and her daughter sat up just enough to run her fingers along the photos encased in the book, a content little sound humming its way from her mouth.

"Goodnight, Mommy," Elena whispered, pointing to a photo of her. It was a recent one that Matt had taken during a trip to Custer State Park in South Dakota. Elena was carefree and smiling, the sunlight shining on her face and the wind blowing in her hair. It was a great photo. Then Elena brought her finger over to the photo beside hers. The one that showed a photo of Damon. "Goodnight, Daddy."

Sophie let out a little coo, her fingers running along Damon's face. It was a photo taken from the wedding, with Damon dressed in his tux and smirking at the camera. While she had kept Sophie a secret from Damon and her friends, she had made sure Sophie knew who her father was. Even if it was just in photos and old videos, Sophie knew Damon.

It had been the reason she had reached for him in the supermarket and tonight.

Turning to the last page, Elena pointed to the final photo. "Goodnight, Sophie."

Sophie leaned back against Elena, letting out a tiny yawn before snuggling in close. Elena rocked her to sleep, humming along to "Lavender's Blue" as her daughter fell to sleep. When she felt Sophie's breathing even out in sleep, Elena stood up slowly and brought her over to her crib which rested in her bedroom, right beside her own bed.

They would both be leaving Elena's childhood home soon. Elena had got her old job with the Mystic Falls Historical Society and pretty soon would be able to find a decent home to raise her daughter. Elena's family was here, her friends… and even Damon. She was done running away, done hiding. Now that the secret was out, Elena could finally settle.

Tonight had been hard. Seeing Damon get that angry, that protective over his rights as Sophie's father so quickly, had broken her. She had expected him to be angry, but seeing him be that attached to her daughter so quickly had surprised her. She just hoped that she could be selfless enough to let Damon bond with Sophie the way he deserved to. That hopefully she could handle letting him be alone with her.

For so long Sophie had just been hers. Elena had full say in everything. Now she had to share Sophie with Damon. Someone who had broken her, who she herself had hurt. It would require amazing maturity from both of them and forgiveness.

The door to the adjoining bathroom that Elena's bedroom shared with the guest room slid open and Matt stepped inside. He sat down on Elena's bed,waiting for her to join him. Once Sophie was settled in her crib, Elena sat down and looked at Matt. With one sigh, her shoulders sagged and her body crumpled under the stress of the night.

Matt placed an arm around her shoulder and Elena rested her head on his shoulder. "Well, tonight didn't go like you planned."

"Not at all."

"But Damon knows. The hard part is over."

Elena let out a short, quiet laugh. "The hard part is just beginning. He's so angry and even though we reached an impasse tonight and stopped arguing, it's not over."

"It'll be okay. This is all fresh to him. He can be angry but don't you let him forget what he did to you. Don't go weak just because you feel sorry. Only when you've both reached an understanding, give him the time to get the hang of this."

She nodded, knowing Matt was right. As sorry as she felt, as guilty as she felt, she didn't regret leaving to work on herself. It made her a better mom to her daughter. A strong woman for her to look up to. She had to keep that in mind while she was regretting hiding Sophie from Damon.

"What would I do without you?"

Matt squeezed her. "This is all you, Elena. I'm just a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on."

"A best friend?"

"Yeah, a best friend." Matt quieted for a second before saying, "Speaking of best friends…Your friend Bonnie is really amazing. All the places she's been."

Elena giggled. "And she's single."

"Oh, is she?"

"You're many things, Donovan. But subtle is not one of them." Elena shook her head, smiling. "You should ask her out."

Matt perked up, causing Elena to lift her head. "You think? I mean, I'm leaving to head back to South Dakota soon. Would that even work?"

"It's worth a try. Just be honest with her."

"I will. Thanks, Elena."

"Thank you, Matt."

With knowing smiles, they both turned to Sophie who was sleeping soundly in her crib. Both of them nervous for different reasons over what tomorrow would bring.


	24. Chapter 23: When You're Not Next To Me

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Thank you so much to Morgan (morvamp) for getting this done! I appreciate her more than words could say- even though I try to every update. Please check out her stories… you won't regret it!**

**I just want to add an extra thank you to everyone who voted and pushed for Almost in the Delena Fanfic Trailer poll! It was a tight race the whole time and even though my little story didn't win it made me feel amazing to have all your support. It pushed me to get through chapter no matter how difficult it was. Which it is.**

**So without further ado here is the next chapter. All OVER 6,000 words of it! See you down below…**

* * *

Elena sat on the bench at the local park, pushing Sophie's carriage back and forth with her hand. Her eyes were scanning the grassy area, complete with swing set and playground, as she looked for Damon. She had texted him earlier saying to meet and he was running a few minutes late. A part of her knew he was nervous, because she was too. Knowing that they would be spending the day together had her jittery and on edge. They hadn't been alone together since that night in the rain when everything had become so raw and real and heartbreaking.

Some wounds never fade away. They leave scars as memories for you to look back on. That night had left a particularly deep scar.

But Damon would most likely have his own from the knowledge that Elena had taken eight months of firsts from him. She had taken away seeing that first photo, finding out the gender, pouring over books trying to find the perfect name; and that was just the pregnancy. Damon hadn't seen her being born—hadn't even known it was happening. He hadn't dealt with the long nights and no sleep, the three in the morning feedings. And he had missed her first smile, the first time she crawled or laughed.

Elena had a lot of making up to do. And as much as the anxiety consumed her and the worry over sharing Sophie with Damon gnawed at the rest of her, she owed it to him. He hadn't missed her first birthday, her first words, the first time she stood, or her first steps. Damon hadn't missed it all. She just had to remember that. No matter how shaken her trust of him was.

When her eyes caught sight of him walking towards her in a black v-neck and faded jeans, she'd be lying if she said her heart didn't skip a tiny bit. This man had ruined her, crushed her, broke her heart and had her doing things she would never do, but he was still a man she had been best friends with, a man she had loved and had a baby with. A man who shouldn't look this good this early in the morning.

She gave a little wave as Damon approached. He waved back, stepping towards her and leaning over to get a good look inside the carriage where Sophie was playing with a toy. When Sophie looked up and smiled at him, Damon's matching smile made Elena melt.

"This is all so unreal," Damon finally said, taking a seat beside Elena on the bench.

Elena gave a closed mouth smile. "It was for me, too."

"Yeah," Damon said, his eyes still focused on Sophie. "But you had months to get used to it before she was here. I'm kind of being thrusted into fatherhood with a nearly one year old."

"We can take this as slow as you need to. You know now. That's all I wanted. And you're not running away. The old Damon would have."

Damon frowned. "I'd like to think I would've stuck around."

"You may have," Elena relented, fighting back thoughts of an alternate reality where it had been Damon and her raising Sophie. An alternate world where she wouldn't have wondered if Damon were with her because of the baby but rather secure in the fact that he loved her. A world without Nik, Andie, or Charlotte in it. Where their own mistakes didn't drive them apart.

"I hope," he replied.

Elena sighed. "Last night, you didn't even panic about being a father. You fought for her. You're doing better than you think."

"That's because I had other things on my mind. Now I'm panicking."

And that was when she noticed it. He was sitting straight and ridged and seemed unsure of what to do with his hands. They went from resting on his knees to folded on his lap and often went to adjust his hair. Damon gave her a nervous smile.

"It's no different than how you were with her yesterday. Only now you know you're her father."

Damon nodded, relaxing in his seat a bit. "Only that."

Elena gave him a smile, trying to calm him. This wasn't going to be easy. They were both going to have to work at it and find a way that worked for them both. She wanted to ease him into this, but they still had a lot to figure out before they could even attempt amicable co-parenting. For now, however, they could just put it all aside.

"Do you want to play with her? She loves the swing set."

His eyes widened. "Is that okay?"

"Damon, you're her dad. And I've seen you with her. It's more than okay. You two need to bond and I'll be right over here."

Without waiting for a response from him, Elena reached into the carriage and unbuckled Sophie. She was dressed in a sweater and jeans with tiny boots covering her feet. There was a bear hat on her head to keep her warm from the crisp chill in the air and when Damon saw it, he smiled. Sophie immediately eased into his arms the same way she had the past few times and Elena knew that as long as her daughter stayed this content being placed in her father's arms it would all be fine.

Sophie smiled up at Damon, her little finger pointing towards where the swings were. The other hand was hitting Damon repeatedly, urging him to walk her over there. "Aren't you coming?"

Elena shook her head, smiling. "I'll be right over here."

"Okay," Damon replied, unsure.

"Just make sure she's secure in the swing and push from the front so she can see you. Don't push too hard."

Damon nodded, taking it all in. He looked as if he were holding stacked glasses and walking through a pen of bulls. It was sweet to see him so worried with Sophie, but he could handle this. He had protected Elena once upon a time; he would do the same with their daughter.

Slowly, they made their way towards the swing set as Elena pulled out papers from her bag, pretending to be busy with work. She kept a careful eye as they approached the baby swing. Damon eased Sophie into it, struggling a bit with her legs, before he finally settled her in. He checked the swing, much to Elena's approval, before slowly pushing her back and letting her come towards him.

Sophie was laughing with glee and Damon started making little noises every time she rushed towards him. It only made her scream noises in return. Elena could hear the gentle call of "Da! Da! Da!" over and over as Damon swung her. The words had Damon comically whipping towards Elena with a huge grin on his face. It brought a tear to Elena's eye.

She smiled at him, urging him to continue pushing her. Enjoy his time with her.

Elena's phone vibrated and she reached for it to see a text from Caroline.

_How's it going with Damon? Has he cracked yet?_

Shaking her head, she typed back, _No! He's doing great._

She looked up to see Damon feeling more confident, his pushes a little more sure. Then another text from Caroline grabbed her attention.

_Good! Sorry about last night. I bet that wasn't how you wanted him to find out._

Frowning, Elena responded.

_No, it wasn't. But it's not your fault. I think I was just so ready for the secret to be over that I caved under your questioning._

Caroline's response was quick. _The important thing is she has Auntie Caroline to spoil her!_

The frown disappeared.

_Yes, she does! And it's official. Knew you marrying Stefan would come in handy._

In more ways than one.

_That's right! Ah! Well, be patient with Damon. I know you are, but I just wanted to remind you. I've never seen him like that before. It's going to be hard on him._

Elena looked up, noticing that Sophie's cries of glee were quickly becoming actual tears. Quickly, she typed back _I'm trying._

When she looked back up, Damon was panicking again. He was struggling to soothe Sophie while simultaneously trying to get her out of the swing. She was praying he would handle it because she was fighting the urge to race to her daughter, to rescue her and step in. But that wouldn't help Damon and she was trying so hard to let him be a dad. His eyes were already looking for her, pleading for help. She could only gesture with her hands to relax as he started walking towards her.

"Elena, her finger got caught in the chain! What do I do?"

She gave him an encouraging smile. "Just soothe her. Make shushing sounds and rock her back and forth. I'll look at her hand."

"Okay. Okay."

Damon moved Sophie close to his chest and rubbed soothing circles with his hand against her back. His voice hushed her as he spoke to her, over and over, telling her that everything was going to be okay.

'Just like that," Elena whispered. She grabbed her daughters hand and saw the little pinch of red dotting her porcelain skin. Grabbing hold of the finger, Elena brought it to her mouth and placed a gentle kiss upon it. It hadn't broken the skin. It was just a pinch.

Sophie looked over towards Elena, eyes rimmed with red and her bottom lip puckered out. Elena mimicked her daughters frown, causing Sophie to sniffle a bit before looking at Damon. Then Damon had to go and say the next few words that absolutely melted her on the spot.

"It's okay, Sophie. I'm here. Daddy's here."

Elena stared at him with her heart an absolute pile of mush. The words affected her more than they should. Yet, here was Sophie's father, soothing their daughter with his words. Sure enough, Sophie's cries quieted and she hugged Damon as she calmed.

Now it was Elena's turn to fight back the tears.

"See! Told you that you could do it," she said with a smile, tears safely staying put.

"I don't know how you do this, Elena. I really don't."

"You'll figure it out."

Damon looked at her, uncharacteristically shy. "With your help. I hope."

"Of course."

* * *

_A few weeks later…_

* * *

Damon looked over his apartment for the final time. He needed everything to be perfect, up to Elena's standards, with everything securely baby proofed around his apartment. All the sharp edges were rimmed with plastic, the doors and toilet secure. He had bought a rug for his hardwood floor per Elena's instructions and a play mat and heap of toys for her to play with. It was going to be the first time he'd have Sophie to himself since Elena would be going out with Caroline, Bonnie, and Matt for the night. It was a little going away party for the Quarterback, who would be heading back to South Dakota tomorrow—much to Bonnie and Elena's disappointment.

Matt and Damon had bonded a little. With all the times he tagged along on his little get-together's with Sophie, Damon had learned a lot from Matt. He gave Damon some of the tips he had used to bond with Sophie, when he had been a new influence in her life. He was kind of going to miss the guy. But now he got to be the main guy in his daughter's life. Instead of competing with the only father figure she had known.

Damon wanted to be known as a father to Sophie. They had spent plenty of time together but always under Elena's watchful eye. She made sure to refer to him as "Daddy" and enforced the idea that that was Damon's role, but as far as Sophie knew, he was still a stranger. Even if she did reach for him every time. Elena didn't hover during their bonding time, but she was always a few feet away in case he didn't know what to do. She was a safety net and tonight he would be doing it all on his own. Now it would be up to him to know what to do.

He was a nervous fucking wreck.

The doorbell rang and Damon unlocked the gate blocking the stairs and raced down them. He pulled the door open to reveal Elena and Sophie. Elena was covered up in a coat, but he could tell she was in a dress and heels, and his daughter was bundled up in a jacket and hat. His daughters eyes—and he was still getting used to thinking of her as that—were wildly looking about, apprehensively. When those bright blues focused on him, they eased, her mouth widening in a toothy smile—she had three now.

"Hey, Soph!"

She made some unintelligible sounds, but they sounded happy and so he smiled. His eyes shifted towards Elena as he stepped back and gestured to the stairs. Cautiously, Elena walked up them, keeping a firm grip on Sophie. When she reached the top, her eyes glanced around the room, taking note of all the changes since she had last been here.

He couldn't even remember the last time. All he knew was he had been with Charlotte then. His place was a mixture of teenager and man, a mess. Now it was more put together. It was all dark fabrics and leather, wood and industrial. It was him.

Not that Elena had spent much time admiring his furniture back then. They were both more focused on other things. Like sneaking around and pretending like they weren't breaking each other's hearts. Somehow, despite everything, they had both ended up back here. Again. Trying to find some way to navigate parenthood and avoiding the real issues between them.

Maybe once he survived his first time alone with Sophie they could finally tackle those issues.

Elena was staring at a photo on one of his tables. It was a recent on of him and Sophie. He was lifting her high in the air and her laughter was clear as she stared down at him, her hands grabbing hold of his face. That face was broken into a smile, wider than he had ever seen it. It was a great photo and he owed major thanks to Stefan for capturing the moment. That day had been amazing. Caroline and Stefan had joined Elena and him as they walked around downtown. They got food, took photos. It was the perfect day.

Finally, Elena spoke. "The place looks nice."

"Up to your standards. I hope."

Elena gave a nervous smile. "I was just nervous."

"I did everything you asked," Damon said with a smirk. "All two pages of it."

She shyly looked down, biting her lip. It had him smiling at memories of all the times that bottom lips of hers had slid between her teeth and all the times he had been the cause of it. Like now.

"Sorry," Elena said, meeting his gaze. "I'm just nervous. It's your first night with her; first time alone with her. It's a lot to trust you with."

"Everything is going to be fine, Elena," Damon urged.

She nodded. "I know. I know."

Placing Sophie down on the play mat, Elena helped her out of her coat and folded it up before she urged a toy in her hand and gave her a big kiss on the forehead. She stood up, telling their daughter that she would be back soon and eased back, blowing a kiss.

"We're going to have a great night."

He could see tears brimming her eyes. "I know. Have fun. Watch her. She's getting heavier, harder to hold. Don't let her out of your sight. Buckle her in if you put her in the rocker. Just please, Damon."

Damon placed his hands on Elena's arms. She seemed shocked by his touch—in all honesty this had been the first contact they'd had since _before_. Still, he pushed past those thoughts. "We're going to be fine. I have your list. I remember everything you and Matt taught me. Just have fun. Send Matt off. We'll be here."

She nodded. "I'll have my phone on. Just in case."

"I know," he smiled. "Go. Have fun."

"Okay. Okay." Elena stepped back out of his arms and waved goodbye to Sophie. She told her how much she loved her and blew one last kiss before descending the stairs.

Damon heard the sound of the door opening and shutting and then the realization hit him.

_He was alone with his daughter_.

Damon turned around to see Sophie holding a Minnie Mouse doll and smiling at him. It gave her full cheeks and dimples and he dropped to the ground, crawling towards her.

"Well, Soph," he began, "it's just you and me."

Sophie thrusted the Minnie doll at him. Damon smiled, holding it up against his face and giving the very best mouse impression he could manage.

"Hello there, Sophie! I'm Minnie! Do you like my dress?" He lifted up Minnie's arm with his hand and brushed against his daughters face. "You're too cute!"

Sophie giggled and grabbed the doll, holding it against her and hugging her. Damon clutched his heart. Only this little girl could make him speak in such a high pitched voice and act out the dialogue of an animated character. But seeing that smile and knowing it was because of him made it all worth it.

"We're going to be just fine," he said, brushing her hair out of her eye.

He could do this.

* * *

"Matty, do you really have to go?"

Elena pouted, giving her best friend her best puppy eyes. Matt shook his head and took a sip from his beer. "You know I have to. You've settled back in. I have a job I have to get back to; friends, family."

"But what about Bonnie?" Elena said, using any means necessary to get her best friend to stay.

Bonnie playfully slapped her. "Don't bring me into this! I'm flying out to visit him next weekend! He's taking me to Spearfish Canyon!"

Elena frowned. "You're gonna love it there."

"Why the face then?"

"Because then I'm going to miss you!"

Caroline let out a laugh. "Elena, I think you're drunk!"

"Am I?" Elena looked down at her beer and noticed it was empty. There were a few other empty bottles joining it. She totally was. "I totally am! I haven't had a drink in I don't know how long. Between the breast feeding and Mommy and Me dates I haven't been out in forever."

"Actually," Matt stated. "I don't ever remember you being drunk in South Dakota. You're a fun drunk."

"Shut it, Donovan," Elena said, trying to be intimidating, but it fell flat when she realized it had come out slurred. "Oh, fuck. I'm gonna miss you."

"You've got Damon now. He's stepped up."

Elena made a face. "He's not you. I don't constantly fight against jumping you!"

"Elena!" Caroline balked. "Do you still have the hots for your baby daddy?"

"Have you looked at him?"

Her mind was swimming. They had always been good at the sexual tension. It was what had gotten them to the place they were at. But something had changed within them both. It had taken until now for her to be able to pin-point exactly what, but now she knew. They both had grown up. And now she wanted more than what they had been, and because of the alcohol and her latent inhibitions she could admit to herself that maybe there was a chance it could happen.

Had they both finally grown to the point where they could be together? Past stupidity forgotten?

The feel of her phone vibrating on the table ended Elena's thoughts. They were going nowhere anyways. She picked it up, seeing Damon's name flash on the screen.

"Damon? Is everything okay?"

She held it close to her ear, trying to listen over the crowded bar. "_It's Sophie. She fell and got a bump on her head. We're at the hospital._"

"What?" Elena was already hopping off the barstool and gathering her things. She knew it was a bad idea leaving Sophie alone with Damon. He wasn't ready. There was no way he could've handled this and now her daughter was hurt. That's what she got for trusting him again.

"_I left the room for one second to go to the bathroom and then I heard a crash and she started crying. The play pen fell over._"

Elena couldn't believe it. She mumbled out a quick summary of everything to her friends. Without a word, they quickly got their things and Caroline, who had designated herself as driver, took out her keys as they all made their way out. The image of Sophie's playpen falling over with her inside played over and over, and the thought of her daughter crying had her hurrying everyone up.

"Why would you leave her alone? You can't do that, Damon!"

"_I moved it closer to the door so I could hear her. It was only a few seconds!_"

They all shoved in Caroline's car and headed towards the hospital. "A lot can happen in a few seconds!"

"_The doctors checking for a concussion. She's a lot calmer now."_

Elena didn't want to hear anymore. She needed to get there. "I'm on my way."

She hung up the phone, anxiously tapping and bouncing in the passenger seat as they made their way to the hospital. The whole time, her mind raced through every possible thing that could be wrong with her daughter. Then the hospital was looming ahead and she was jumping out of the car as they pulled up. She didn't even wait to see if her friends would follow. She just barreled right in.

After talking with the receptionist, she was led by a nurse to where Sophie was. Damon was standing over her, running a hand through her little tuft of hair. He looked distraught and worried, but Elena couldn't focus on that. It was his fault she was here. Elena's fault for trusting him.

She should have known better. Trusting Damon always ended with someone hurt.

"Sophie!" Elena cried, rushing towards her daughter and pushing Damon's hands aside. There was a little Band-Aid above her brow and an ice pack on her head. Leaning down, Elena kissed her daughter's head. She whispered how sorry she was.

"The doctor was just here," Damon said, quietly. "There's no sign of a concussion. She just bumped her head and got a little cut on her eyebrow."

Elena's eyes shot up. "_Just_ bumped her head? Are you serious? It never should've happened in the first place! I never should've trusted you!"

"Elena, I-I'm sorry."

"As you damn well should be!"

A nurse bustled by, silencing them both, and handed Damon the discharge papers. "Your husband did the right thing, Ma'am. Better safe than sorry with these things."

"He is _not_ my husband," Elena growled.

"My apologies. Off you go! Have a good night."

Elena grabbed Sophie before Damon could react. She held her tight to her chest, kissing her little bump over and over again. They made their way back to the waiting area where Caroline, Bonnie and Matt were waiting. They all stood and looked at Elena, speaking over each other to ask the same question.

"Is Sophie okay?"

Elena took a deep breath as they all started making their way out of the hospital. "A bump to the head and a cut. She'll just need an ice pack to ease the bump down."

"Thankfully," Matt said, as they stepped outside. "Way to be on top of it, Damon. Always safe to bring her to the doctors just in case."

"It's what the blogs said to do," Damon responded, shrugging. He kept glancing at Elena out of the corner of his eye, nervous. "Next time I won't let her out of my sight."

"_Next_ time?" Elena screeched. "There won't be a next time. I'm not leaving you alone with her ever again."

"Elena," Matt urged. "It was an honest mistake. And Sophie is fine."

"A mistake? A mistake that could've had my daughter in a concussion or worse!"

Matt grabbed Elena's arm. "But it didn't. Try to remember that."

Elena shook her head. "I can't! All I can think about was how I trusted him with my daughter and how it ended up with her in the hospital!"

"Let's be honest here, Elena," Damon stated angrily. "You never trusted me to begin with. It's why you left with our daughter and didn't tell me. It's why you've been testing me this whole time. It's why you're overreacting right now!"

"Oh, I'm overreacting? My daughter was in the hospital!"

"_Our_ daughter!" Damon yelled. "She's _our_ daughter!"

"Alright," Matt said, stepping in calmly. He held his hands out for Sophie. "You two need to get all this out, but little Sophie has been through enough and I think it would be better if her parents weren't screaming in her ear."

Without a second thought, Elena handed Sophie off. Unlike Damon, she trusted Matt with her daughter. He wouldn't solely think about himself and he wouldn't let any harm come to her. Matt carefully grabbed her and rested her head on his shoulder. Sophie was remarkably calm and quickly closed her eyes, falling asleep. Matt brought her over to where Caroline must have parked as Caroline and Bonnie joined him, both looking over their shoulders and sending worried glances at Elena.

"I've made mistakes, Elena," Damon said, now that it was just the two of them in the vacant sidewalk. "But so have you."

"None of those ended with a visit to the emergency room!"

Damon huffed. "You left with my daughter!"

"You cheated with me on your girlfriend!"

"And then I ended things with her! But you were gone. I knew things were over between us but I didn't think you would leave. I thought I had sent you away."

"You did, Damon!" Elena cried. "I couldn't live with myself! The same day I found out I was pregnant with your child—a child that was conceived while you were with another woman—was the same day you proposed to Charlotte. Do you have any idea what I've been through?"

Damon folded his arms over his chest. "It wasn't exactly like we kept in touch, Elena."

"I was by myself, all alone in South Dakota! Jenna was busy with her anthropology study and I was stuck in an office doing archive work. Then I was in therapy once a week talking about how Nik had emotionally abused me to the point where I thought so little of myself that I got into what I did with you. I was dealing with depersonalization and depression, all while dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of being pregnant."

"I didn't force you into it, Elena. It's not like I wanted that to happen. No matter how much I regret it happening."

Elena sighed. "You knew I was in love with you, Damon. You knew and you took advantage of it. I wanted to be whatever you wanted me to be. I wanted you."

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't want to cheat on Charlotte but it was you."

"What does that even mean, Damon?"

He turned away, hand slipping into his hair as it tugged on the ends. "I was in love with you, too. To the point where it terrified me. I was always the one in control in relationships, but what I felt for you was unlike anything I had ever experienced with a girl before. You were the first girl to break my heart."

"What about Andie, Damon?" Elena said. "I saw you the night it ended with her. That was heartbreak."

Damon let out a laugh, but there was little humor in it. "Andie was nothing compared to you. And I know Katherine and Nik played you and that you were a toy in their games but it killed me. I couldn't get the image out of my head and yet I didn't want to let you go. I wanted to work on it so I kept you in my life as a booty call."

"And do you know what that did to my already ruined self-esteem?" Elena yelled. "In therapy I had to build up what you and Nik had wrecked. I was so close to just being done but I had to keep fighting for Sophie. She wasn't here yet and I had to survive for her. I had to get better for her. So I dealt with the weeks of crying and screaming and hating you both. By that point there was no difference between you both. You both took advantage of me. And I let you both do it."

"Elena, I—"

"We never talked," Elena whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "That's what I realized in therapy. That I was so afraid that saying what I felt would send you away and you must have felt the same way. It's why we're wrong for each other. It's why we don't work."

"How can you say that?" Damon balked. "We're talking now."

Elena shook her head. "We're screaming now. It's only after the fact that truth comes out. When it's all too late."

And it was true. When they had been friends, neither wanted to admit they were attracted so they stayed that way. Then when they were both single, neither would admit they had fallen in love. Then when they were in love, neither would admit they wanted more. All of those secrets had stayed hidden until heartbreak had forced the truth out. It was a lifetime of almost being together only to be pulled apart. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't be around him and trust herself to not fall into the cycle again.

No matter how much they had grown and changed, they were still not good for each other. Even as parents.

"What are you saying?" Damon asked, stepping towards her.

"I'm saying," Elena began, forming the plan just seconds before the words came out, "that I'm heading back to South Dakota with Matt. Just for a little while. Just to get my head on straight. I came back too soon. I wasn't ready."

It was why she was having such a hard time trusting him. While the first slip up with Sophie had her running. As much as she wanted to be ready, she wasn't. Being back around Damon was too overwhelming.

"No!" Damon yelled. "You can't take Sophie away again. You can't leave again."

"We can figure something out. I can bring her down on weekends; you can come up with Bonnie when she visits Matt."

He was shaking his head, violently, pacing as her words took over him. "Don't do this, Elena."

"Being this close isn't healthy for me. You're not healthy for me. I can't fight like this when Sophie deserves better. We're not putting her first."

"So let's not fight," Damon pleaded. "Let's work this out."

"It's too late. The only way we'll be able to co-parent is if we're involved with each other as little as possible. Let the lawyers dictate custody and regulations."

Her reaction to Sophie being in the hospital had proven enough. She shouldn't have reacted so strongly. In the back of her mind, she knew Damon had done the right thing. He had moved the play pen so he could keep an eye on her, had rushed her to the hospital when she got hurt. Damon did the best he could and had stepped up and put up with her lists and demands. She was just having to hard of a time sharing Sophie and trusting Damon to be the Dad he could be.

They couldn't raise a child like this. She wouldn't.

"Don't bring lawyers into this, Elena."

She gave him a steady look. "I don't know what else to do."

"Try with me. Stay with me."

"What do you think this was, Damon?" Elena said. "I came back so you could know your daughter. Because you deserve to be in her life. But I can't let you try if I still have my own issues keeping you from it. If we're both still letting the past ruin our chance at being good parents."

"But Elena we can be a family," Damon blurted out, reaching for her.

Elena's eyes widened as she looked at him. He was too close and she could see that he was fighting back tears at the thought of losing them both. When did this stop becoming about Sophie and turn into another try for them. "What?"

"I didn't chase after you when you left because I know that I hurt you and treated you horribly. You deserved to move on and be happy and I still had some growing up to do." His body had moved flush against hers and every breathe he spoke fanned against her face. She was still drunk from earlier and having him this close was not a good idea, but any time she tried to move, his gaze held her frozen. "But you came back."

"With a secret daughter," she mumbled.

"And I was so angry at you for that. You hid a child from me. But now I understand why. I'm not who I was. I'm not hanging on to that pain and pushing you away. I just want you to be happy—even if that's not with me. And at first I thought you had moved on with Matt and I was happy for you. But you haven't moved on, Elena, and neither have I."

Her eyes searched his. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want to give this a shot. A real one. You, me, Sophie… a family."

"Damon, it's too late. Too much damage has been done."

His voice was just above a whisper when he spoke. "It's never too late. I'm still in love with you and I know you love me too. It's why you ran away. It's why you haven't moved on. It's why you're running again."

Elena's head shook. "Damon."

But Damon didn't answer. Instead he brought his lips down to hers and kissed her. She felt the kiss spark its way down to her toes. It rocked her and had her grabbing hold of him like a lifeline. Her body felt alive, buzzing with energy. It had been over a year since his mouth had been on hers, since she had been kissed at all. Yet she never remembered it feeling this powerful.

Her heart raced, head swam, and she had been thankful that he was holding her steady. Damon clung to her, pouring every inch of his love into her, and her nails dug into him, refusing to let go. It had her feeling everything she had spent many lonely nights remembering. When the missing him became too hard and the memory of the hurt faded away and his kisses filled her memory. The way his kisses awakened something inside of her that gave her such freedom. His tongue slipped into hers and her knees gave way. Even after all this time.

But she couldn't let herself be ruled by emotions any longer. She was a mother and she couldn't drag Sophie into the life she had lived before South Dakota. It wouldn't be right. She had to let the notion of the Damon and Elena happily ever after go.

Bringing her hands to his chest, she pushed away and stepped back. Her hand lifted to her mouth, still feeling the pressure of his lips on hers. Damon looked rejuvenated, like a man in the dessert who had just drank an entire lake. And she would have to break him.

"I can't."

"Elena…" Damon responded.

Her eyes swam with tears. Damon's face was becoming a blurry memory. "I have to go."

She didn't look back. Her feet raced towards the Caroline's car, to her daughter—her sole reason for doing this, even as the sounds of Damon calling her name shattered her heart.

* * *

**A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! Don't hate me or Elena-even if she's being a little selfish and scared. She has her reasons.**

**It's looking like a couple of chapters left until we reach the end. Two...maybe three. So all will be revealed soon. I promise.**


	25. Chapter 24:All My Tears Have Been UsedUp

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: A major thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for prereading this and getting it to where it needed to be. Love you so much, peaches! She's going to have a O/S posted next week that will reduce you all to a mess of happy tears and wishing she had been on the writing team for TVD.**

**As for Almost… This chapter was a long time coming and I hope you're all ready for it…**

* * *

"Stefan, maybe you should wake him."

"No. Let him sleep. Last night was rough on him. With Elena leaving again and the scare with Sophie…"

"But how is he supposed to chase after her if he sleeps through it?"

Damon groaned into his pillow. "Easy. He doesn't chase her."

He lifted his head off the coach pillow, finding Stefan and Caroline staring at him with guilt filled eyes. They were both dressed and Caroline held a mug in her hand and was handing another to Stefan. Damon had crashed here last night after leaving the hospital. Not wanting to return to his home which still had all the remnants of what he had let happened on his watch. The overturned playpen, Sophie's toys strewn about; all of it would've broke him more than he already was.

What was he thinking kissing Elena last night?

She wasn't ready for something like that. Elena had just proved how shaken her trust in him was and he had to go and pour his heart out in some desperate attempt to keep her here. He knew that if he just had the time to prove how much he had changed that she would come around. Even if it was just in friendship, he wanted her here, with him, raising their daughter. But the dream of them raising Sophie and being a family, being in love, would have to stay a dream.

She was leaving now, after all.

Probably already at the airport, judging by Caroline's words.

"How ya feeling, bro?" Stefan asked, striding towards him and handing him the coffee in his hand.

He gulped it down, hoping it would ease the throbbing in his head. The amount of alcohol he had consumed last night in an attempt to help him ignore the pain in his heart was feeling like a bunch of elephants attempting tap lessons on his brain.

"Miserable."

Caroline moved to sit beside him on the coach, placing a comforting hand on his back. "You need to stop her, Damon."

Damon huffed. "It's too late. She's made her decision."

A decision that meant Sophie would primarily be out of his life. That she would be shuttled over aircraft until Elena healed and then moved back and forth in whatever way custody dictated when Elena returned. It wasn't the life he wanted for his daughter. Damon wanted better for Sophie. He wanted her to have two parents working together to create a beautiful life for her. Not two parents who let their own issues prevent her from having one.

But Elena was firm in her decision and there was no way he could stop her.

"She's scared," Caroline said, softly. Damon looked at his sister in law and saw all the worry etched on her face. She had witnessed firsthand how badly Elena was hurting. She had even seen the aftermath when Elena had left him at the hospital. "She knows she overreacted and for the first time since she had Sophie, Elena put her fears before what was best for her daughter. Damon, sure. You may have confirmed her fears last night, but you also proved you could handle this."

"And how did I do that?"

Caroline gave a small smile. "You kept an eye on Sophie. When she got hurt, you rushed her to the hospital. You called Elena instead of keeping it a secret. Instead of running and panicking, you stayed calm. You were Sophie's father."

Damon remembered how nervous he was watching Sophie but how easily it was to remember everything Elena had taught him. He knew how to keep an eye on her, how to make her smile, what each of her cries meant. In the weeks they had been parents together, Damon had learned how to become a father. That meant fighting for her.

"But Elena wants to leave. I can't force her to stay."

"No," Stefan said, sitting on the armchair. "But you can show her why she should."

He put his head in his hands. "All I keep doing is hurting her."

"Right now, she is in the position you were after prom weekend. She's letting one mistake send her running in fear that the next one will break her. You can help her, Damon. You can remind her what running away does."

Caroline squeezed Damon's shoulder. "Remind her that running won't solve anything. She has a support system here. You, Sophie's _father_, is here."

"Do you really think that will make a difference?"

"I think," Caroline began, "that you've regretted not running after Elena since she left the first time. It'll only get worse if you let her go again."

Damon remembered finding out that Elena had left and the growing pain that made it hard to continue the charade with Charlotte. Facing those issues and dealing with everything he had kept bottled up had been hard but necessary. He was a different person now. As much as he'd wanted to go after her once everything had ended with Charlotte, he knew she needed the time away. He had hoped that whenever she returned they could either rekindle their friendship or maybe find a way back to each other.

Instead, she was running away again.

The thought of letting her go, of letting the distance grow and grow until they were just two strangers raising a child, had Damon on his feet. He couldn't let her leave again. Not without making sure she knew that he would never stop fighting. Whether it was for her or Sophie.

"I'm going after her."

Caroline jumped up, nearly spilling her coffee. "Go get our girl!"

Damon grabbed his jacket, cell, and keys and said goodbye to his brother and sister in law. He was going to make Elena see that this could work. That he could be there for her in a way he hadn't been before. He had let her go last time. But this time would be different.

This time he would find a way to stop her.

* * *

Elena fitted Sophie into her restraint by the window, making sure a pacifier was secured in her mouth to prevent her ears from popping too bad. The plane was boarding and Elena had, by some miracle, managed a seat right next to Matt, who was currently storing her carry-on in the over overhead bin. When he sat down, Sophie was secure and Elena turned to him with a smile.

"How was your goodbye with Bonnie?"

Matt shook his head. "You're really going to pretend like everything is okay?"

"Everything _is_ okay. I'll stay in South Dakota for a few weeks, get back into therapy, Damon will visit, I'll bring Sophie to him. Then we'll come home and let the lawyers handle it. Everything will be fine."

"You really want that?" Matt searched her face, doubt evident in his eyes.

Elena's gaze dropped to her hands as she bit her lip. "No. I wanted this to work. But somethings wrong with me, Matt. Why can't I trust him? He doesn't deserve this."

"You're scared, Elena. He's hurt you before and you don't want that same pain to happen to your daughter. But he's a great dad. Yeah, he messed up last night, but it was a mistake. A mistake that was followed by doing all the right things."

"But," Elena began, "look how I reacted? I can't keep doing that. I can't. I was yelling right in front of Sophie. Right after she had been through the whole ordeal of falling from her play pen and being in a hospital."

"Because you're a concerned mother," Matt stated flatly.

"And that's an excuse?"

Matt sighed. She was amazed he wasn't fed up with her yet. What kind of guy befriends a new mom and takes on the role he had in her life? Matt had welcomed her and her daughter with open arms, despite only just meeting them. He had gone above and beyond for her; was unbelievable with Sophie.

How could anyone even come close? Was that why she had snapped so suddenly?

"No," Matt answered. "But you're allowed to have a freak out when your daughter gets hurt. You're allowed to make a mistake, just like Damon did. And he should forgive you just like you should."

Elena turned away, knowing Matt was right. She looked down at Sophie, who was looking up at her, twin dimples pinching her cheeks. Those bright blue eyes stared at her, those same eyes that her father had. Sophie could've had any trait of Damon's; his hair, his bone structure, nose. But, no, she had to have those eyes.

When she finally looked back at Matt, he was staring at her with such concern that it made her feel guilty. She _had_ overreacted. She knew that. But her reasoning seemed sound. Right?

"So, the rumors _are_ true."

Elena's eyes flicked up to two women standing in the aisle next to their row. The very last two people she ever expected to see again; let alone together.

Katherine smirked down at her, a manicured nail tapping her cheek. Beside her, wide eyed and stunned silent, was Charlotte. The sight of the two of them had Elena searching the plane for Andie Starr to miraculously appear. But last she heard, Andie was off in New York City teaching math in some fancy private school and the last place she would be is on a plane to South Dakota. Still, Elena's luck was pretty sucky lately, so her eyes still searched.

Finding no sight of Andie, her eyes finally landed back on the unlikely pair as she said, "What are you doing here? And together?"

"Now, that's no way to say hello to old friends," Katherine stated. Her eyes flicked towards Matt. "And who's this handsome man?"

Matt extended his hand, warily. "Matt Donovan. I'm a friend of Elena's."

Charlotte shook it first. "Charlotte."

Then Katherine reached for his hand, squeezing it with two of her own. "Matty Blue Blue, has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?"

Confused, Matt replied, "Yeah. A time or two. Who are you?"

"Katherine Pierce," she answered, slyly. "It would seem Elena and I once again share something in common. A weakness for blue eyes. Isn't that right, Elena?"

"We have very little in common," Elena growled. Memories of that ill-fated prom weekend flashed through Elena's mind, accompanied by the weeks that followed. While she and Damon had been struggling to speak their feelings, it was _that_ moment that had really thrown them off course.

Seeing Katherine casting glances at Sophie, knowing what she had done, had Elena seething. She placed her body in front of her daughter, blocking Katherine's view. Charlotte, however, took notice.

"Is that your daughter?"

Elena nodded, feeling sick. Her daughter had been conceived while Damon had been with Charlotte. It had happened in the midst of the wedding of her best friend and his brother. After Elena had ended things and needed one last of everything with him. When Damon knew why she needed to end it but had still chosen Charlotte anyway.

It was no surprise she had issues trusting him.

"It's true then," Charlotte responded. "She's Damon's?"

Nodding, Elena said, "Charlotte, I'm s—"

"Don't even bother," Katherine interrupted, placing an arm around Charlotte. When had they become so close? "You act like you're so much better than me. At least I never went after a taken man."

Matt went to speak, but Elena quieted him with a touch of her hand. It was true. Elena had always hated Katherine for the way she treated her in high school. She had taken Andie's pain and used it as her own excuse for making every school day a living hell. And then to join teams with Nik to manipulate her the way she did, Katherine had become Elena's worse enemy.

But Elena had hooked up with a guy who was in a committed relationship. She had her own faults to make peace with.

And that was when Elena realized it. This whole time she had placed blame on Damon for the way he had hurt her. When really, he was the reminder of the way her morals had become compromised. Was that why it had become so hard for her to get over? To let him be the father he was? Was the reason she was running away, as Matt had called it? Was she really running away from the reminder of who she had become?

"Since when are you two friends?" Elena questioned, pushing aside her realization.

Katherine smiled. "Well, we ran into each other at a bar. It seems Charlotte was nursing a failed engagement. You wouldn't know anything about that?"

Flicking her eyes off of Katherine's face, Elena took notice of a diamond sparkling on her finger. "And you're engaged?"

Bringing her hand closer to her face, Katherine admired the diamond. "Yes. And I believe you know him, too. Nik Mikaelson?"

Elena's eyes widened as her mouth dropped open in shock. "Y-You're engaged to Nik?"

"Yes," she smiled, moving her hand to dance the ring in front of Elena's face. "We rather bonded over that little trick we played on you."

Fighting the nausea over Nik and Katherine rejoicing over her heartbreak—over Damon's heartbreak—Elena tried to force a smile. "Well, congratulations. You two deserve each other."

"Thank you." Katherine's eyes narrowed. "And where is Damon, hmm? Lover's quarrel? You wouldn't be running off with his baby _again_, would you?"

Charlotte seemed completely uncomfortable as her eyes searched the cabin. The plane was starting to fill up and more and more people were navigating the aisles. Elena prayed that a flight attendant would send them both to their seats. "Just flying back to South Dakota for a little while. Why are you two headed there?"

"To catch a connecting flight to Toronto. Bachelorette party." She frowned at Charlotte. "You never got to have one, did you? All because of Elena."

"Stop it, Katherine," Elena stated before meeting Charlotte's eyes. "I am sorry, Charlotte. I never meant for it to happen. But it did. And for that, I'm sorry."

Charlotte's eyes teared up and she shook her head. "I-I can't handle this," she stuttered before turning and heading down the aisle to her seat.

Elena's heart broke as she watched Charlotte maneuver her way through the crowd. Katherine still stood there smirking as if this is what she had wanted all along. Some friend she was. "I better go console," Katherine sighed, eyes alight.

As Katherine turned to leave, Elena blurted out a phrase she never thought she would say. But the moment the words came out, a weight lifted from her shoulder. She had been hanging on to the pain for so long that the release of the next four words brought an extraordinary amount of relief.

"Katherine, I forgive you."

And more importantly, Elena forgave herself.

Katherine halted for a moment, turned around, and looked at her confused, before rolling her eyes and stomping off towards Charlotte. Maybe her and Nik were a match made in heaven.

"What was that about?" Matt asked when she disappeared.

"I finally came to peace with my past," Elena said in wonder, her mouth lifting in a smile.

Matt's brow furrowed. "What?"

Elena felt so light and free. All of the damage she had done to herself over the years and everything that Nik and Katherine and even Damon had put her through seemed like a distant memory. By letting that anger go with Katherine and forgiving herself in the process, she had finally done the one thing her therapist had been asking of her since the beginning.

_Forgive._

There was just one person left.

"I need to get off this plane."

* * *

He was too late.

Damon had raced to the airport, had Caroline and Stefan check and recheck the flight time and location over and over, but had ultimately arrived only to see her plane fly off. Elena and his daughter were gone.

He had been too late.

His heart was utterly broken. If he hadn't become so drunk last night, if he hadn't overslept and fought against it, he would've been on time. He might have even stopped her from even leaving.

But he hadn't. Because he was too damn late.

Damon pulled up to the familiar house. The paint had faded with the years, but the memories were still as clear as ever. The first time he had pulled up to this spot had been in high school when Elena needed to be dropped off. The first time he stepped foot inside was when Elena had invited a few of her friends over. The memories came pouring in.

He hopped out of his car and made his way up the walkway, living through every memory that had existed in this home. Elena's home.

Full of disappointment and pain, he lifted his hand to knock on the door.

Damon wasn't sure what had brought him here. Why of all the places he could've gone, his car had brought him here. It was a spot that held innocent memories and painful ones. A place where Elena had grown up and lived and loved and hurt. It was as close to Elena as he could get right now.

And, yeah, maybe he was hoping that on the other side of that door would be her.

The door swung open and his heart stopped in the few precious seconds it took for the person opening it to be revealed. But when his eyes laid upon the woman in front of him, his disappointment only grew. "Mrs. Gilbert."

Miranda Gilbert gave him a sad smile. "Hello, Damon. I keep telling you to call me Miranda."

"I know," he replied.

Elena's mom frowned. "She's gone, Damon. Sophie, too."

"I know," he repeated, a little quieter, a little more broken.

"Do you want to come in?"

Damon nodded. Mrs. Gilbert stepped back and gestured Damon inside. He stepped over the threshold, into Elena's home, and he felt peace for the first time today. The essence of Elena was all around him and his hands and mind felt calm, even though his heart ached. He missed her so desperately. Missed his daughter. They were high in the sky right now, on their way to another state, and he wouldn't be able to see them until the weekend. When once again it would all be too late.

Mrs. Gilbert rubbed a soothing hand on his back. "Do you want to sit down? I can make us some coffee."

"If I can," he began, his voice cracking, "I'd like to go up to see where Sophie slept."

He needed to feel close to her. Right now he was suffocating under the weight of Elena smiling and happy as she danced along to _Dance Dance Revolution_, and sad and scared as she hid in the bathroom from Nik. But what he also needed was to feel his daughter. See where she had slept, smell her clothes and hug her toys.

He needed them both.

Mrs. Gilbert nodded. "Upstairs. Elena's bedroom."

"Thanks."

Damon climbed up the stairs, slowly. He knew where to go. He counted the doors before he reached Elena's, knowing that the sight of it would break him. Turning the knob, he pushed the door open and saw Elena's room exactly how he had remembered it—with a few changes. A crib was set up besides her bed and all the draws were strewn open with clothes hanging out of them, as if Elena had been in a hurry when she left.

There was a pile of books near a rocking chair that hadn't been there before. Something called him to it. He took the few steps towards it and sat on the rocking chair, clutching hold of a stuffed monkey that had been left on it. He smelled the monkey with its bandaged arm and leg, and inhaled the scent of his daughter. He closed his eyes, holding on to the scent.

When he opened them, he reached over to the top book on the pile. A book that was titled _Goodnight_. Inside the cover, Elena had written Sophie's name and had placed a recent photo of their daughter inside a frame. He flipped through the pages, noting all the family members and photos that accompanied it. It even had his own parents and brother, something that shocked him.

Then he came to a page that held a photo of Elena basking in sunlight. Beneath it was the word "Mommy". She looked stunning and happy, and judging by the background he guessed it had been taken when she was in South Dakota. Maybe she really had been happy there.

But then he saw the photo on the corresponding page.

It was a photo of himself, dressed in a tux and smirking at the camera. Beneath it was the word "Daddy" and Damon found tears blurring his vision. He missed Sophie with a pain so deep, it crippled him. How was he ever going to share time with Sophie? How was he going to hand her off to Elena and let them leave again like it wasn't breaking his heart?

His hands ran over the photos and Elena's handwriting beneath.

_When had Elena put him in this book? _

The spine was worn from overuse, which told him that this book had been in his daughter's life for a while now.

_How was he supposed to come clean about finding out? _

He didn't want Elena to know he had come snooping.

The questions continued to plague him.

_How was he supposed to get through this? _

_Now that they both were in his life how, was he supposed to go on without them? _

"I've read that to her every night," a familiar voice said. "Every night since the night she came home."

Damon's head snapped up.

There, standing in the doorway, was Elena with Sophie in her arms and bags at her feet.


	26. CH25:Take My Hand,Take My Whole Life Too

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: I profusely apologize for the long time between the last update and this one! When I put that cliffhanger I didn't expect to leave you all hanging that long. But with Thanksgiving and my first job being retail and black Friday I was out of sorts for a bit. But I finally got it all done and I hope you're all happy with where this journey finishes.**

**This is the final chapter. Their will possibly be an epilogue—maybe two—it will all do with the response this chapter gets.**

**Huge thank you to Morgan (morvamp) for getting to this right away. She's honestly the best beta, friend, and writer ever. Seriously, read her stories!**

**Not sure if I'll be participating in this year's A2A Exchange but you never know… **

**Anyways… The song inspiration for this chapter (especially the first part in Elena's POV) is "_Can't Help Falling In Love" by Haley Reinhart_.**

**Now where did we leave off…**

**Oh right…**

* * *

Elena crossed the threshold, stepping forward, very aware that Damon couldn't stop looking at her. It reminded her of the final scene of _Ghost_ where Demi Moore stared in wonder as Patrick Swayze became visible to her. Did he really think she was a ghost? Some sort of vision stepping through his subconscious to haunt him? The way he was looking at her nearly broke her heart.

He seemed unsure of whether or not Elena and Sophie were real. His jaw was still dropped slightly as his eyes played ping pong inside their sockets. It was driving her crazy. Elena had broken the silence, brought attention to herself and their daughter. She had to. The sight of him resting in the rocking chair running his hands over their daughter's favorite book brought words to her lips.

Now there was only silence.

When she had walked into her house, disappointed in being unable to find Damon at his house or spot his car outside Stefan and Caroline's, she had nearly thought herself a fool. She had this big epiphany and all she wanted was to share it with Damon; only she hadn't been able to find him. Then her mother had rushed out that Damon was upstairs and she needed to see it to believe it. She silently dropped the bags to her feet when she reached the doorway and watched as Damon, looking as distraught as she had ever seen him, holding onto the last piece of his family she had nearly taken from him.

Only now she had returned.

"You got off the plane," Damon finally said.

Sophie stirred in her arms, eyes opening and hands reaching out as she noticed Damon. Elena rubbed her back as she nodded. "I couldn't leave."

Damon stood up, slowly, his hands still clutching the book. His hands reached for Sophie, unsure but desperate, and she let him take her. Sophie melted into his arms, relaxing instantly and clutching his shirt within her tiny hand. She seemed so content and calm that Elena found herself wondering how she could ever even think of separating them.

His arms were holding her tight, his nose inhaling her scent, before his mouth pressed itself upon her head. It made Elena feel sick. She was strong enough to handle this. Why had she even doubted herself? They weren't going to make the same mistakes again. She had just now prevented herself from repeating one herself. The least they could do was _try_. They were going to talk this out and be adults.

"You came here," Elena whispered, watching as Damon kept his face close to Sophie's. It was a reminder that she had made the right decision in getting off the plane.

Damon sighed. "I thought you were on the plane."

"You went to the airport?"

Damon nodded, swaying back and forth as he held tightly on to their daughter. "I rushed over there after Caroline pointed out that I'd kick myself if I let you go again. But the plane was taking off by the time I got there. I thought…" He paused, swallowing. "I thought you left."

"I almost did," Elena admitted. "But Katherine Pierce changed my mind."

It was almost comical the way Damon's face contorted. The way a variety of emotions played out on his expressive face. Then it finally settled on two; his eyebrows furrowing together and straightening out. He warred with confusion and anger before finally cocking his head and muttering, "What?"

"Katherine and Charlotte were on the plane. Kat's engaged to Nik actually. Can you believe it?" Elena shook her head in disbelief at the way her life had played out the past few hours before settling on his face and returning to the point. "Katherine helped me forgive myself."

She bit her lip, preventing more words from spilling out and wanting to take this conversation slow. There would come a time when hearts would be exposed, and maybe it would come later on tonight, but she needed to make him understand how sorry she was for running away. He needed to know that it wouldn't be happening again. She wouldn't let it.

"For what?" he questioned.

Elena took a deep breath. "For not acknowledging that you changed—that we both have. I let you be a reminder of the past and didn't allow you to make mistakes. I even forgave myself for who I was back then and I'm stopping this cycle of letting it effect who I am now."

"That's great, Elena," Damon replied, confusion taking the reins. He still seemed to be in a state of shock at seeing Elena standing before him and having his daughter in his arms that her words didn't seem to be fully taking effect.

There was still one more thing she had to say and Elena knew it would mean the most to him. But the words halted in her throat and made it come out a lot less eloquent than she had hoped. "I also decided to forgive you."

His eyebrow rose in a perfect arch. "Oh, did you?"

She could sense the curiosity in his gaze and in the way he attempted to play her words off in humor. In all honesty, she knew that the phrasing of it had come off way too cavalier. In reality the forgiveness had been such a weight lifted that it shook her very soul and freed her thoughts.

Damon was no longer seeing through the harshness of their past but rather through the eyes of the caring, loving father and patient man he had become. It helped her to realize how the old Damon would've never fought for her the way he had now. And the old her would've never came back. They both needed to use this time to make up for their past; to prevent it from effecting Sophie's future.

Elena's voice softened. "I'm sorry for the way I acted at the hospital. It was a mistake and I shouldn't have snapped like that."

"Elena, I understand. It's my fa—"

She reached forward and pressed her hand on his arm, silencing him. "It was a mistake. A mistake that was followed by quite the show of fatherhood on your part. I shouldn't have made you feel the way I did. Running away didn't help."

Damon gave a sad smile. "No, it doesn't. I learned that the hard way." He was silent for a moment as their eyes met. "I ran from you."

Her eyes widened as they searched his, finding years of regret and sadness drowning inside the blue that she had thought of home for so long. That same blue that followed her in the eyes of their daughter, a constant reminder. He was saying he had run from her and while that was true, she had done some running of her own. It was about time they both stopped.

"We don't have to run anymore. Neither of us."

Damon stared at her, hope lacing his words. "What are you saying. Elena?"

It was all so different than the last time they spoke. At the hospital, emotions had been heightened and she had been so scared and hurt and worried that Sophie would be hurt by Damon—that she would, too—that she had pushed him away. As she watched his whole world crumble that night when she told him she would be leaving after he'd poured his heart out and gave her everything of himself, it had crumbled a part of her too. But right now she was watching those pieces mend.

She met his eyes, tears brimmed her lids. "We can be a family. I _want_ to be a family."

Elena moved her hand and brushed it across Sophie's cheek. Her daughter's eyes danced back and forth between her parents, a wide toothy smile pinching her cheeks. It was what Elena had secretly hoped for all those months in South Dakota. That she would come back and somehow end up right where she now stood. With the past behind her and looking brightly towards the future. She may have come here purely to bring Sophie and Damon together, but hidden behind that wall she'd built was the desire to have that dream become reality. The one she'd had since the moment she saw that positive sign on the pregnancy stick.

"I want that, too, Elena. I've wanted that since I realized what an idiot I was by stringing you along. I wanted it when I realized you left. And I craved it with every single part of me when I found out Sophie was mine and Matt wasn't your boyfriend."

His eyes had life back in them for the first time since she walked back into his life. They were bright and full of possibilities, much like the young, fun-loving boy she had met at the quad for the first time and the player who spent a whole party just getting to know her. They were very different people from those two lost teenagers. But those two couldn't be honest with each other enough to stop getting in their own way.

The Damon and Elena who were looking into each other's eyes right now could.

"If we do this, Damon," Elena said, tears falling steadily down her cheek, "we have to be all in. We can't run from each other. We have to be in it for Sophie. And if it doesn't work out…"

Damon reached up and brushed the pad of his thumb against her cheek, pushing aside the wetness. His touch halted her words. "I'm in it for us, too."

She blinked up at him, truly affected by his words. As if encouraging her, Sophie squeezed her finger. "I won't survive it if you break me again, Damon. But I won't run away. We'll still be parents, friends… whatever Sophie needs."

"Elena," Damon said firmness in his voice. "Why are you talking about it not working out? I'm not letting you go. I'll do whatever I need to in order to make sure we make it work this time."

Smiling up at him, she responded, "So, we're really going to give this a shot?"

He nodded, matching her smile. His hand reached for hers, taking hold of it and her heart in a promise of forever. "I'm in if you are."

"I'm in," she stated, fighting against the wave of happiness that wanted her to crash herself to him. They needed to take this slowly, so they didn't get caught up in the emotion of it all and forget how far they had come. They couldn't make the same mistakes.

Still, when Damon leaned in and moved to bring his lips down to hers, she couldn't help but lift herself up. And their lips would've met if only they hadn't been interrupted.

"Elena, honey," her mother called from the hallway, moving towards the room. "Do you want me to take Sophie downstairs to play?"

Her mother stopped when she took in the sight before her. Damon and Elena close together, faces inches apart, with their daughter between them, no doubt still smiling. Sophie had to be because Miranda covered her face in happy surprise and pulled out her phone and snapped the very first family photo they had ever taken together.

"Sorry," she mumbled, embarrassed. "I couldn't help it. The three of you just look like. Well, you look like…"

"A family?" Damon finished, smiling wide.

As her mother nodded along, tears in her eyes, Elena found herself thinking that she couldn't agree more.

* * *

_February 2016…_

* * *

"Happy birthday, dear Sophie! Happy birthday to you!"

The small gathering erupted into cheers as the final note was sung. Sophie clapped her hands excitedly as Damon bent their bodies close toward the cake. Elena was beside him, arm firm on Sophie as they blew out the candles on the cake together. As the flame turned to smoke, the crowd cheered and they posed for one last photo of both he and Elena kissing Sophie's cheeks.

When it all settled, Damon eased Sophie into the high chair that Caroline had set up in her enclosed back deck amongst the chairs and tables for the party as Elena placed the smash cake that her mother had made the night before. Sophie's eyes lit up, and with one flick of her gaze to her parents, her hands dug in. Everyone broke out into laughter and Damon stuck his finger inside the vanilla buttercream frosting and tapped it against Elena's nose.

"Hey!" Elena laughed, unable to even attempt anger while in such a great mood. "That's for Sophie to make a mess! Not you!"

Still, he caught the movement of her hand towards the cake and moved back just enough to prevent her from smashing a piece of cake against his face. But she was a persistent one and after a few tries, she managed to completely cover him in cake and frosting.

He heard a familiar laugh and looked down to see Sophie giggling from below, throwing cake at him. "Not you, too!"

Damon pretended to be angry, but he couldn't help but smile through his words. The two women in his life had completely covered him in cake that was meant for his daughter and he didn't have a single complaint. He brought his mouth to Elena's nose and sucked the frosting off just as Elena sneaked another attack. Damon backed off and looked at Elena with a look of betrayal.

"We got him good, didn't we, Soph?" Elena said with a wink.

Sophie tapped her hands against the cake, covering her fingers with the stuff as she repeated, "Dada! Dada! Dada!" over and over again. If possible his heart grew even bigger at the sound of it. The two women in his life had him completely wrapped around their fingers and he loved every single second of it. He leaned down and smothered his face against his daughters, eliciting squeals of laughter.

"Would anyone else like to have a piece of me?" Damon smirked.

"No," Stefan replied, with his arm wrapped around Caroline. "I'd rather just stick with the cake."

Damon's mother bustled in, knife at the ready as she started cutting free slices of the untouched cake. She began handing out pieces on paper plates—the first of which went to Stefan. Damon's brother greedily took a bite as Caroline rolled her eyes, reaching down for Sophie.

"You come with Auntie Caroline to clean up while Mommy and Daddy clean themselves up."

Elena mouthed a thank you as she ushered Damon inside, carful to not get frosting on Caroline's hardwood floors. They gave a little wave to Sophie as she disappeared with Caroline into one of the downstairs bathrooms where a fresh set of clothes were waiting. Damon noticed Bonnie following after them and let Elena lead him upstairs, knowing his daughter was in good hands.

Bonnie was still with Matt and making the long distance thing work. He wasn't sure what the future was going to hold for them, knowing Matt wouldn't leave his family and Bonnie loved traveling around the world too much to settle down in one spot. It was a tough situation to be in, but for now it was working for them.

And, hell, he and Elena had survived worse.

He slid his hand inside Elena's as they maneuvered the familiar hallways of his brothers' home. They had spent a lot of time within these walls that it had come to feel like another home. It helped that his brother had married Elena's best friend and that the two of them had such bad baby fever that they were willing to watch Sophie whenever they needed. It just sucked that they had yet to be able to start on a family of their own.

Not for a lack of trying though. Damon had walked in on their baby-making one too many times.

Including in the second floor bathroom that Elena was guiding him into.

It was adjoined to a bedroom and as he crossed the threshold, he closed it shut. When he walked into the bathroom, Elena was dampening a washcloth. She hopped on the counter, spreading her legs so Damon could ease between them. His hands rested on the bare skin of her thighs that were exposed from her dress being hiked up. There was just enough skin between her high boots and dress that his hands had plenty of room to roam. Elena smiled and shook her head as he not-so-stealthily tried to inch his way further and further.

What was he saying about baby-making?

"Damon," she warned, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

"What, 'Lena? I was just keeping your legs warm."

One of his hands lifted to brush away the remnants of frosting on her nose, causing her face to scrunch up and smile. She was effortlessly beautiful and he felt like the luckiest guy in the entire planet to have the honor of a second chance with her. With that smile of hers still brightening up her face, she leaned forward and licked the left side of his jaw, swallowing a bit of frosting that had stuck to his stubble.

"And I'm just cleaning you up," she teased, licking the frosting from her lips as she pulled back and stared at him.

His eyes narrowed. "You know what your lips on my neck does to me. And it's been a _really_, really long time."

It was true. Besides some serious kissing and some heavy petting, neither of them had made the move to take to that final step. It had been four amazing months of taking this thing between them slow enough that they didn't screw it up. They rediscovered that friendship they had in high school before sex had ruined it. And even though it had taken two weeks until he finally worked up the nerve to kiss her, only to be caught off guard when she surprised him by making the first move, they both had seemed afraid that once they crossed that boundary it would all happen again.

Right now, however, seemed to be a different story.

"About four months?"

"Longer," he amended. In reality, he hadn't been with anyone since he ended things with Charlotte and he knew for Elena it had been even before then. Her last time was the night she had tried to hint to where her heart was and he had fearfully let her go. Was now really the time? When there was a whole room full of people celebrating their daughter downstairs?

Elena shook her head, smiling. "You know what I mean. It's been four months that we've been doing this thing."

"Falling in love all over again?" he teased, his hand pushing her hair form her face and weaving itself in there.

She nodded. "Yes. That."

The wet towel was now dabbing its way down his neck as his other hand worked at unbuttoning his shirt. Silence filled the room, accompanied only by the quiet, shallow sounds of their breathing. Everything seemed heightened and he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her. It didn't help that his body was nearly flush against hers and at some point her spread legs had locked themselves around his thighs.

"Is this how you really imagined the first time being? In Caroline and Stefan's fancy guest bathroom with me covered in birthday cake?"

Her brown eyes rolled to the ceiling. "It's not the first time. We've done this before. There was a time when this was the only thing we did right."

"But now we're trying to be more than that."

"Exactly. And you love me, right?"

"I love you."

She smiled; a little quirk of her lip as if she was fighting it. Her arms wrapped around his neck, arching her chest into his bare one. "And I love you."

"And because of that it's okay to jump into this?"

"Damon, we just said we love each other. The old us would never have done that. The old us wouldn't even be having this conversation. The old you would've been inside me by now."

He groaned, bringing his head to rest against hers. "The me that's here right now really wants to be."

"So," she said, her hands sliding down his chest to the buckle on his jeans. "Let's stop trying to build it up to some perfect moment that it'll never be. I'm tired of stopping myself and being afraid. We both said we were done running. That includes this."

Damon found his hands had managed to push her dress up to her hips and her boot clad legs and lace panties were exposed just for him. He made some inhuman noise just as she slid his belt free and start pulling down his zipper.

"I've never been very good at resisting you," he breathed, bringing his mouth suddenly to hers with such ferocity that it stole her breath.

She hummed in agreement, hand slipping inside his jeans. "But you always try so very hard."

Her hand gripped hold of him as her legs locked tight around his hips. Damon continued kissing her, loving the taste of her tongue and the fullness of her lips. Damon paused just long enough to lift the grey sweater dress free from her body and expose the deep burgundy of her bra that matched her underwear and toes. He stood mesmerized at the sight before a squeeze from Elena sprung him to action.

He toed off his boots and eased off his jeans, letting Elena's warm hand take hold of him again as he slid his own finger up her inner thigh, enjoying her squirms as her kissed her neck. When his fingers reached her apex, he pushed aside her underwear and slipped his fingers inside, causing Elena to let out a quiet moan that morphed into his name.

"God, I want you," she breathed as her hand continued to pump him.

Damon was already reaching his climax, quicker than he wanted. He pushed aside her hand and knelt on the tile floor below her, spreading her legs wide as he brought his mouth against her center. Damon looked up to see Elena's mouth gaped open and her face flushed as he flicked his tongue against her and pushed his finger in and out. The sight of her above him, completely entranced, had him worshiping her with his tongue until she begged him to stop.

With her hands, she pulled him up frantically and pulled down his briefs, wrapping her hands around him again and pumping him. Any reserves he had about doing this were dissipating with each of the soft, gasping sound crying from her mouth. He couldn't take it any longer. She had worked him into a frenzy and he needed to bury himself inside of her.

Elena seemed to have the same idea because she guided him to her center, and in one quick thrust he was inside. He quickly brought his mouth to hers, silencing her cry. The last thing he needed was someone walking in on them and stopping them just when they were getting started. Damon held on to her tight and carried her towards the bed in the adjoining guest bedroom and laid her down, still keeping himself inside of her.

"You were right," he mumbled against her lips. "This is never wrong. Never."

"So right," she breathed, as her hips started rolling against him. He was thrusting into her with slow, deep pushes that had Elena's back arching against him. She tried to lock her legs around him but he kept those long, beautiful legs of hers spread wide so that each thrust hit her right where he wanted.

And judging by her sounds and that bottom lip of hers being pulled between her teeth, she didn't want him to stop. His mouth dropped to her breast as he pushed aside her bra. He pulled her nipple between his teeth before flicking his tongue against it and blowing. Pebbles formed all along Elena's breast and he pulled the hardened peak between his teeth, nipping at the bud.

He released her legs, letting her wrap them around him, bringing them as close as they could. They moved together as one, her exhales mixing in with his inhales as they went thrust for thrust. They had become so tangled up that he finally understood what those romance novels she read meant when they said that you forgot where you ended and they began. Because right now, tangled up with Elena, he felt as if every part of him belonged to her and every part of her belonged to him. Their eyes gazed into one another as those familiar pulls started and he knew he would never ever get enough of this, of her, or their life.

Damon finally understood what Elena was trying to tell him. This time was so different because for the first time ever, every feeling and thought about each other had already been laid bare. Like being naked in this bed, they had both opened themselves to being vulnerable. Only this time it was in a way they never had before. The last time they had been together it had been different, but he had never understood it till later. Elena had been pouring her love to get him to understand and this time they were finally on the same page. This time he knew where they stood.

It was a heady feeling.

When they tumbled together, spinning and spiraling off the precipice, it was as one. In mind. In body. In heart. This was what they had been running from. And now in the aftermath of it, he didn't understand what they had been so afraid of. Nothing had changed. If anything, he felt stronger than ever in his love for her.

He pulled out of her but kept her close, kissing her forehead and telling her how much he loved her. Damon made up for years of biting his tongue after every single stolen moment when he kept her in the shadows instead of proudly on his arm. And after they got dressed and headed back downstairs, it was hand in hand to a room of their loved ones.

Damon's eyes immediately landed on his daughter. Sophie was standing in the middle of the room, holding a balloon and swaying to the beat. At the sight of her parents, she smiled wide and took that first little step. Elena clapped excitedly as Damon squatted down and held out his arms. With determination, Sophie took five little steps and was in his arms. The entire room was in awe and cheered on much to Sophie's glee. She squirmed in his arms and he placed her back down and, with newfound confidence, she proudly walked right into Elena's waiting arms.

Elena lifted her up, cheering and held her close, kissing her cheeks and telling her how proud she was. Damon stepped forward, the proud papa, and placed a big kiss on his daughters head. He looked out at the room of his loved ones and placed an arm around his girls.

It had taken a long time to get here, but it was about fucking time.


	27. Epilogue P1: I Think I Wanna Marry You

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: I know what you're all thinking… FINALLY SHE UPDATED! Well, now that the holidays are over and my seasonal job hasn't completely drained me I can finally deliver on the well deserved fluff that these two so desperately need after all that angst.**

**A huge thank you to my beta, pre-reader, advicer giver, fan girl listener, and someone I am lucky enough to consider my friend, Morgan (morvamp). She came back from a cruise and jumped right back into reality with work and shows and had time to make this perfect for all of you. If you seriously haven't checked out her stories, you need to. She's one of my favorite writers and has pretty much ruined me when it comes to reading because nothing can compare to what Morgan brings out of me in her stories. Thank you, peaches!**

**So without further ado, here is part one of the two part epilogue that I am considering calling "fluff-ilogue"… Enjoy!**

* * *

_A few years later…_

* * *

He couldn't stop pacing.

Elena's mom, Miranda, watched him with curious, somehow knowing eyes as he wore a path in her antique oriental rug. He had been back and forth, running over his words, practicing his speech, since he stepped through the door and asked to speak to Elena's parents. He just couldn't help it. Miranda had called down to her husband a few minutes ago and the wait for Grayson Gilbert was agonizing. Especially because of the question he had to ask him.

"Damon, honey," Elena's mom said, causing Damon to look towards her. "Don't you want to sit down?"

He shook his head. There would be time for that once he firmly shook Elena's fathers hand and asked the one question that would change everything. He needed this to go well. "I will."

Miranda gave him a little smile, shaking her head. _Did she know what he planned on asking them? _The way she looked at him, a knowing smile pulling up the corner of her mouth, was like she was in on his secret. He was just about to say something when the sound of footsteps echoed from the hall. Damon took a deep breath.

Grayson Gilbert appeared before him, a smile on his face. He reached Damon's height and had a touch of gray in his hair. His eyes were always kind, but Damon remembered the months that followed his reunion with Elena and how those eyes were hard towards him. It was what made this all the more difficult. Grayson's whole world was his daughter and Damon had knocked her up while he had been engaged to someone else. Even though they had moved past it and had become more friendly, did that mean he truly forgave him?

Damon was about to find out.

Elena's father reached his hand out and Damon shook it, smiling. That was a good sign. "What brings you over here, Damon?" Grayson asked. "And where is my beautiful granddaughter?"

Damon couldn't help the wide smile that brightened his face at the mention of Sophie, the light in his life. She was getting so big, walking on her own, talking up a storm; not a baby anymore. His little girl had ideas and dreams all her own and she had him wrapped even more around her finger than she had the first moment he saw her.

"Sophie is at home with, Elena," Damon responded, taking a seat as Grayson did. He watched as Elena's parents held hands and shared a smile and Damon found himself hoping that in thirty years that would be him and Elena. Happy and in love, even after all these years.

"So," Grayson stated, "what can we do for you?"

Clearing his throat, Damon sat up straight and met both their eyes. "I love your daughter."

"We would hope so." Miranda smiled.

Damon smiled back. "I do. I have only fallen more and more in love with her since the moment we met." He swallowed. "I know I've made mistakes. We both have. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I put us through, trying to make up for time we lost. But all I want is the rest of our lives."

Elena's mother had tears in her eyes and it only spurred on his speech.

"These past few years we have opened ourselves up to loving each other. We had no obstacles. I'm not foolish enough to think there won't be any. I know there will be. I'm just willing to face them with her, conquer them together, and come out the other side even stronger. I guess what I'm trying to say is…"

He paused, taking a steady breath. This was the most nerve-wrecking thing he had ever done. Worse than owning up to his feelings. Worse than ending things with Charlotte. This had the potential of breaking his heart. If Elena's parents said no, he wasn't sure what he could do. There was no way he could sit with the disapproval of Elena's parents. Not when it meant so much to Elena and not when he had worked hard to regain their approval.

"Just say it, Damon," Miranda said with a calmness in her tone that didn't match the chaos brewing inside of him. She had to know. Just had to. The way she was looking at him with reassuring eyes and a confident smile only solidified it in his head.

At least he had one parent's approval.

"What I'm trying to say… What I want to ask… Well." He sighed and tried to give a hopeful smile. "I want to ask your permission to marry your daughter."

Grayson immediately looked towards Miranda whose smile had only grown. She turned towards her husband and gave a small imperceptible nod, eyes glassy with happy unshed tears. It made Damon's heart leap, but until he heard those words he couldn't let himself hope.

Elena's father smiled and turned his eyes on Damon. If possible, Damon's heart stood at the starting line, prepared, ready. "Damon, you have our blessing," Grayson said. "We've considered you a son these few years and it would be amazing to make it official."

"If," Miranda said with a coy smile, "she says yes."

_Yes,_ Damon thought, _hopefully_.

* * *

"We're here!"

Elena lifted the blindfold off her eyes and took in her surroundings. She would know this place anywhere. Her teen years had been spent growing here, making friends, becoming the woman she was today. Most importantly, it had been the place where she had met the guy beside her.

Even now, when the lawn was covered with candles and rose petals, she knew the exact moment that Damon was trying to remind her of. It was unlikely she would ever forget it.

She turned towards Damon, who was smiling at her. There was something in his eyes that had been there all night but was only just now forming a name. _Anxiety_. But what could Damon possibly be anxious about? They had just celebrated their anniversary with a beautiful dinner at one of her favorite restaurants. Damon had seemed a little nervous but not enough for her to wonder.

They had finished and Damon had asked her to place a blindfold on and now they were standing before Mystic Falls High School. Memories flooded her mind, the good and the bad. From hanging out with Caroline and Bonnie to all the hardships she faced with Nik and Andie, and even Katherine. But the memories that stood out to her in vivid color at this moment were every one that involved Damon.

"Our alma matter?"

Damon nodded, running his hands along her arms as her turned her towards him. "This spot, right here… Is where we met."

Elena smiled wide. "You mean where you first noticed me."

With a guilty smile, he peered down at their now entwined hands. "Once I did, you were hard to forget."

Blushing, she squeezed his hand. "So were you." He smirked and butterflies danced in her stomach.

"I brought you here because this is where our journey began. From the moment you literally ran into my life I haven't been able to get you out. I tried to and so did you. But—and this is coming from a guy who didn't believe in fate until he met you—we have always found our way back to each other. We've never been able to completely walk away."

He reached up and brushed her cheek with his forefinger, pushing aside tears she hadn't realized were falling.

"We have both made mistakes, tried to end this; but something keeps bringing us back together. And the last thing fate did to make us both see our stupidity was give us Sophie." He smiled wide, the proud father. "If you hadn't left, I never would've seen my mistakes for what they were: fear. And it never would've given you the chance to become even stronger and amazing than that girl I met right in this very spot."

Elena leaned into his palm, which was cradling her face. "I'm so happy I zoned out in Biology."

After a quiet laugh, Damon continued. "I started falling for you the moment you asked for Bonnie's notes. These past few years where we've finally been together, been a family, have been the happiest of my entire life. But I don't regret our mess because it brought us here. Right now. To this moment."

With a nervous smile, Damon slid his hand from her face and dropped down to one knee. Elena's mouth opened in surprise and she followed his movements. His hand reached into his coat pocket and produced a black velvet box that he ceremoniously held out in front of her.

"Damon…" she whispered; her voice in complete wonderment as he smiled up at her.

"I love you, Elena Marie Gilbert. I have loved you for most of my life. I love the man I've become because of you. I love who we are together. And it would be an honor to be your husband, your partner." Damon swallowed and met her eyes with a fierceness that nearly made her lose her footing. "Will you marry me?"

Elena smiled wide and had to stop herself from jumping up and down when she answered. "I love you, Damon Francesco Salvatore. Of course my answer is yes!"

She bent down and pulled him up to her, forgetting the ring and the beautiful candles. She pulled him up, brought his mouth to hers and poured her heart into him. Years of love and longing and passion melted between their moving lips as he hugged her tightly and she clutched to him. _How had they ended up here_? After all the pain and heartbreak and hidden feelings; and now they were _engaged_?

When Damon pulled back, he was breathless, exultant. Not even wasting a second as she laughed excitedly at the pride and love pouring from his gaze, Damon pulled the ring free from the box and slipped it onto her ring finger. When the diamond sparkled against the candlelight, Elena smiled and kissed him again. Kissed her fiancé.

"You are _so_ getting laid tonight," Elena whispered as their foreheads met and they exchanged a breath.

Damon chuckled. "Good thing your parents are watching Sophie."

And she kissed him again. It seemed she couldn't stop kissing him. He just seemed so incredibly happy that every time he smiled, she found herself needing to taste it in a kiss. As if his own happiness needed to be bottled up and savored so that she could remember every sense memory for this moment. Remember his happiness.

"We're getting married," she breathed, her smile refusing to let up.

"I'm marrying _you_," he replied back with awe.

And neither of them could wait.

* * *

The doors to the bridal suite finally opened and, with Elena in his arms and her mouth against his neck, he walked them both into the suite and kicked the door shut. Elena pushed him back against the double doors and he took a moment to make sure the deadbolt was locked shut.

No one was interrupting their wedding night.

No one was interrupting a _husband_ with his _wife_.

Elena was his wife. She was no longer Elena Gilbert the girl he was dating, the girl he somehow lucked into being with. Now she was Elena Salvatore, his wife, the mother of his child, the partner in his life with whom he would forever be tied to. The woman who was currently removing his jacket and working on undoing his belt.

"Easy there, Mrs. Salvatore. We have all night and I plan on taking my time."

His arms slid up her bare shoulders and down the front and sides of the ivory satin gown she wore. It was molded to her body and fanned out at her hips with crystals placed in a delicate pattern. Seeing her walking down that aisle towards him brought him back to Stefan and Caroline's wedding and how his daydreams couldn't compare to reality. She was beautiful, angelic… _his_.

It took great patience and skill to make it through his vows and the rest of the ceremony when all he could think about was how lucky he was. Elena was full of smiles and blush, love and admiration. She somehow managed to eloquently promise him her future while he stumbled over the words as he got lost in her eyes.

The reception breezed by in a blur of dancing and drinks and stolen moments in crowded rooms. They posed for photos, danced, kissed and hardly had a bite to eat. And even though they both should be exhausted and starving, the only thing he craved was her.

He wanted to worship her all night; see what was beneath all that fabric and know the truth behind all her teasing.

When the door was secure, he eased her backwards towards the ornate bed. The room was basked in dim light, yet he could see every inch of her skin. Every rise of her chest and movement of her lips as she spoke to him with words of love and hope and dreams. She turned around and pulled aside the curls of her hair and he slowly unzipped her dress. Elena's ivory and lace bra and panties were exposed to him along with the garter that snapped to her thigh-high stockings. She carefully stepped out of her dress and he pulled it aside, draping it over the nearby chair. He never took his eyes off her as she easily unsnapped her stockings free and eased them down her long, long legs. He was mesmerized as he stalked towards her, his hands dancing over the lacey fabric of her underwear.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, bending to his knees and kissing just below her navel as he eased down the fabric.

His hand slid up the inside of her thigh, reaching her apex and slipping inside. Elena moaned as she nearly lost her footing and grabbed hold of the canopy banister for support. He leaned forward and brought his mouth against her, replacing his tongue where his finger hand been. Hearing his wife cry out in pleasure had him grabbing hold of her thighs and making sure she didn't fall.

Elena's hand reached down into his hair and tugged. Then in one swift tumble she fell onto the bed and Damon smiled against her skin. He eased himself forward and used his fingers and mouth to bring her to the edge and back again. When he could feel her body arching against the bed, her feet digging into his shoulders, and her voice crying his name, he brought her over the edge and watched as she spiraled down against his tongue.

As her body relaxed, he sat up, undoing his tie, unbuttoning his shirt and removing his slacks. Elena was still completely bare, save her bra, and that seriously needed to be rectified. Damon crawled up her body, leaving a trail of kisses along her skin. Her hands reached down to his briefs and slipped inside, grabbing hold of him as she began pumping him with his hand.

His mouth kissed along the valley of her breasts, pushing aside the fabric of her bra and taking her perked nipple between his teeth. Elena arched against him, pressing her breast against his face as her hand worked faster, making him steel in her palm.

"Damon…" she moaned, and it nearly had him coming apart by her hand.

Seeing his momentary weakness, she rolled him over and kissed down his body, bringing her mouth and tongue around him and making his hips push off the bed. Her mouth was heaven around him and he found himself unsure of what to do with his hands as he fumbled with the pillows above. He could feel himself getting close and the last thing he wanted was for this night to be put on pause so soon.

"I need to be inside you," he groaned, already reaching for her. "Get back up here."

She relaxed her throat and pushed him deep inside, nearly making him come down her throat, before releasing him with a pop and crawling back up his body with a wicked smile.

"Evil," he growled before crashing his mouth to hers. With experience, he snapped free her bra and slipped it from her body, discarding it somewhere across the room. She was at work, pulling his boxers down, and he waited until he was completely naked before pulling her body over him and positioning himself at her entrance.

"I learn from the best," she teased, placing her hands on his chest and slowly easing down.

The moment he filled her to the hilt, he leaned up to bring his mouth once again to hers. They moved together as if part of the same body. They lost themselves in each other. In kisses and touches and words. The moment seemed to slip into a world without time. They lost themselves in the bubble that Caroline had always said existed and forgot the outside world and their friends and family, all sound asleep within the walls of this hotel.

Even when they both came undone together, their bodies continued to move, never wanting this first time to end. A sheen of sweat glistened their bodies, they lost the ability to form any words outside of "oh, God", "this feels amazing", and "I never want this to end".

When exhaustion finally caught up with them, the outside world was deep in sleep with dawns early light creating bright blue streaks across the black night sky. They were wrapped in each other's arms, chest to chest, breath to breath. With one final thrust, they came together. After a moment of savoring, Damon pulled out and slid his body behind her, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her shoulder, collarbone and neck.

Elena brought her hands around his arms, eyes falling close. "I love you, Mr. Salvatore."

With one final kiss against her cheek, just as his eyes slid close, Damon sleepily whispered, "I love you, too, Mrs. Salvatore."


	28. Epilogue P2: Ever, Ever After

**Title:** Almost

**Summary:** Elena and Damon have been friends with benefits on and off for several years. What happens when one of them wants more and it's too late?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.

**A/N: Wow. I can't believe we're here… The final update for Almost. This started out as a way for me to work through some things that I had been through in high school and molded and changed into the story it is now. And I hope you all love how I've left these two…**

**Before I let you get to it… I want to thank Morgan (morvamp) because without her helping me out with this one I'm not sure it would be the story it is. I struggled with a lot of the questionable storylines and stressed about how they would be received and she talked me through it and help me work it in a way that kept it likeable. She didn't have to help me but because she awesome and amazing like that she offered her talent to help me and I owe her so much for that. Love you, peaches! And if you haven't already check out all her stories. They're amazing. I promise.**

**As for you readers… This chapter wouldn't exist without you. It was your comments and reviews and pleads about a certain life event that gave inspiration to this chapter. Because of that I got to hold off my goodbye for just one more chapter. So thank you for reading, reviewing, loving this story as much as I do.**

**_Thank you_. From the bottom of my heart.**

**As for future stories… I do have another story in the works. We'll just have to see if it gets posted. But hopefully I'll see you soon…**

**Now without further ado… I give you the final update of Almost…**

* * *

"You ready?"

Damon looked down into his daughters wide blue eyes as they flicked off the door and met his. Caroline had dressed her in a white dress, her long, thick hair flowing down her back. Through the curtain of her hair he noticed she clutched the small bandaged up monkey that had once been her grandmothers in her hands and gave a small nervous nod. It was obvious she was anxious to see what lay beyond that door. The sight of it was something that still made Damon's face break out into a grand wide smile and had his heart galloping out of his chest. It was his own excitement that had him pushing open the door and ushering Sophie forward, wanting to see this moment as soon as he could.

Still, he had to remind himself, Sophie was nervous. She had never been to a hospital.

Quickly looking to the bed, he gave a proud smile before leaning down to Sophie. "Go ahead, Sophie."

Sophie stepped forward, holding Zippy the Monkey close. As she approached the hospital bed, Damon followed behind her. His daughters head lifted up, seeing Elena with hair wrapped in a bun and looking beautiful, and quietly asked, "Mommy, are you okay?"

Elena smiled down at her daughter, replying, "Yes, Sophie. This is a good visit. Why don't you let Daddy bring you up here with me?"

"I wont hurt you? Aunt Caroline said that I have to be careful."

His wife shook her head. "You won't hurt me, baby."

Sophie nodded. Damon reached down and lifted her on to the bed, making sure not to jostle the wires or bed too much. Elena had been through a lot in the past twelve hours. Sophie sat crossed legged down beside Elena, tucking her hair behind her ears and nervously staring at the bundle in her mother's arms. With a beaming smile, Elena placed a free hand on Sophie's shoulder and rubbed soothing circles into her skin.

"Sophie, meet your baby brother," Elena said. "Rafe."

Their daughter leaned forward and stared at the little boy in Elena's arms. He was all pink flesh and squished skin, but he was beautiful. Rafe had a full head of Damon's raven black hair and a button nose that mimicked Elena's. The sight of his family had Damon bringing out his cell phone and snapping photos of his children meeting.

_Children_.

He was now the father of _two_.

Who could've imagined that biology notes and a party would have brought him right here to this moment? All the missed opportunities and unsaid confessions, all the hurt and pain and time apart, brought him exactly to this moment the very second he chose to chase it. With a wife and children and being the happiest he had ever been; it was almost all worth it. The sight of his six year old daughter staring down at his newborn son in the arms of his beautiful wife had his heart feeling fuller than he ever could've imagined. He was a lucky fucking man.

"Hi, Rafe," Sophie said with a slight lisp, holding out her hand against her baby brother's. Rafe stared up into his big sisters eyes and Sophie smiled as his tiny fist curled around her fingers. Her head snapped up to Elena's with wide eyes and a huge smile. "Did you see that?"

Elena nodded, eyes shiny with tears. "I did. He knows who you are."

"He does?" Sophie looked back down at Rafe, whose eyes were still intent on her face.

"Of course," Damon chimed in.

Sophie brought her face closer. "He knows I'm his big sister?"

"Yup."

Tilting her head and studying him, Sophie asked, "Does this mean I have to share my toys?"

Elena and Damon both let out a little laugh. It was Elena who answered, running a finger through her daughter's hair. "He's much too small to play with your toys right now. But someday you'll have to share. Is that okay?"

Sophie seemed to think about it for a few moments before finally shrugging and saying, "Yeah. I'll share with him."

"That's kind of you." Damon smiled, coming over to the bed and sitting on the edge beside his daughter. He pressed his lips into her hair, causing her to giggle. The sight of it had Elena smiling along with them.

It was amazing to see her so happy after seeing her in such pain all day. She had an easy pregnancy, but the labor had been grueling and long. Add in her own fears over something bad happening and it had been a rough day. After what Elena had gone through with Sophie all alone in South Dakota, Damon tried his hardest to be the support she needed, despite having his own fears and anxiety. He didn't know how he had survived the past nine months, let alone today.

Rafe hadn't exactly been planned, but they weren't exactly preventing his arrival either. It was the reason why when Sophie had come running into his arms after a long day at the studio wearing a shirt that read _Best Big Sister_ that his knees had nearly buckled. He'd gathered Sophie up in his arms, questioning her about her new shirt and looked at Elena with questions in his eyes and a heart full of hope.

Elena had nodded, biting her lip to fight back a smile.

With Sophie still in his arms, Damon had covered the distance between himself and his beautiful, pregnant wife in three long strides and enveloped her in his arms. Elena had tears flowing down her cheeks and Sophie couldn't be more confused over what had her parents so overwhelmed. What followed was a long discussion with Sophie about the new addition to their family.

Most of which Elena handled because Damon was still flying high on the news.

He didn't want to think of this baby, this pregnancy as a make-up for all the moments he had missed with Sophie, but it was a hard feeling and thought to fight. He had only experienced Elena's pregnancy through photos and videos, but the actual thought of seeing her stomach swell with their child, of being there for her through every craving and ache, every foot and back massage and pregnancy book, picking out names and decorating the nursery and experiencing it together, had him feeling like it was his first child, which in the sense of experience it was.

By the time he had entered Sophie's life, the pregnancy was done, the birth and scare were through, and Elena had figured her way through eight months of experiences. Sophie was already on a schedule and practically perfect by the time the responsibility fell on to him. This time around, he would be figuring it out for himself. With Elena.

And, boy, was he thankful for Elena.

She helped him through everything and shared stories of when Sophie had been the one growing inside of her. It had him feeling like he was getting the chance to experience them both, all at once. And even though he fawned over her and hovered like a worried expecting parent, Elena was a calm within his storm.

It wasn't until today, when the cramps of labor kicked in, that the role of reassuring calm fell on his nervous shoulders. It seemed like forever until the contractions were five-minutes apart and the doctor finally let them come in, and then ages until she was ready to push. Even still, little Rafe didn't seem ready to come out.

Then, all of a sudden, he was and Damon became a father once again.

Now, he had his little family and he couldn't be happier. His mind wandered back, wanting to thank fate, destiny, the universe, even coincidence; whatever force was responsible for bringing them together. And when he looked up into Elena's eyes, he knew she was thinking the same thing.

* * *

"Slow down, Sophie," Elena giggled as her daughter practically sprinted towards the door.

Her little hands reached for the knob, twisting it and opening the door and ignoring Elena's plea to race into Caroline and Stefan's arms. Elena could only shake her head as Caroline nearly lost her footing and fell back if it hadn't been for Stefan's arm to steady her. Thankfully, her best friend loved Sophie so much that she only laughed at her impatience.

"Hi there, Soph!"

"Hi, Auntie Caroline! Hi, Uncle Stefan!"

Elena ushered them all inside to where Damon was sitting on the couch holding their baby boy. Caroline instantly fawned all over him, demanding to hold him. Damon passed Rafe off with a shake of his head and kissed his sister in law on the cheek. After embracing his brother, he took a seat on the arm of the chair where Elena had situated herself. Stefan sat beside his wife with Sophie on his lap and everyone's eyes seemed to be glued on Rafe.

He was a few months old now and Caroline and Stefan had been away on a little vacation for the past two weeks, unable to see those small changes. Naturally, Elena and Damon had been updating them both with photos and videos to keep them up to date. The way they both stared at her son and played with her daughter caused a lump to form in her throat.

They deserved to be parents.

But despite their best efforts and the efforts of doctors, they just hadn't been lucky enough. Even the most perfect of couples, it seemed, had their own hardships and obstacles to deal with. And they dealt with it as best they could. With Caroline's eternal optimism and Stefan's continued research. It was part of the reason why they cherished her children and treated them as if they were their own.

"So, how was the trip?" Damon asked, placing an arm around Elena.

Caroline beamed up at Stefan. "Well…"

Elena's eyes bugged out of her head. _Could it be…._

"There was a reason for our trip," Stefan stated. "It was like a second honeymoon for us."

"Some might call it a babymoon…"

"You're not…?" Elena questioned, fighting to not leap from her seat.

Caroline gave a sad shake of her head. "No, it seems I wasn't meant to carry my own children. But I," and she gave a look to Stefan adding, "we were meant to have children."

"I don't understand," Damon said.

"We've decided to adopt," Stefan stated proudly, touching Caroline's arm. "The paperwork is all filed. She'll be ours in two days."

"A girl?" Elena asked, choking back a sob.

Caroline nodded, fighting back tears of her own. "A little girl. Her name is Camille. She's six."

"Like me?" Sophie piped up from Stefan's lap.

Stefan nodded. "Just like you."

"You mean I'll have someone to play with?" She hugged Stefan with such gusto that he had to grab hold of her so she didn't fall off his lap.

Elena stood up and knelt before her best friend, thinking of all they had been through since high school. All the moments they shared and all the ways they had grown. How in one night they had both found their futures. And while both those relationships had gone down different paths they both reached a place where they were completely content and blissfully happy.

"You are going to be an amazing mom," Elena said, reaching up touch her best friends cheek. "I see the way you are with Sophie and now Rafe. Camille is going to be surrounded with such love and spoiled beyond belief."

Through tears and a smile, Caroline said, "Thank you, 'Lena."

Elena looked over to see Damon embracing his brother with Sophie being sandwiched in between. The happiness radiating in the room had her heart bursting. After her and Damon switched spots and hugged the soon-to-be parents, Damon broke out the wine to celebrate, and over dinner, Caroline and Stefan filled them in on the story of how Camille had come into their lives.

Eventually it became late and Stefan and Caroline had to leave. With hugs and tears, they said goodbye and the rest of the night was spent answering Sophie's questions about Camille until she fell asleep. Together Damon and Elena tucked her into bed and then checked on Rafe, who was thankfully sound asleep in his bassinette beside their bed.

As they crawled into bed, they curled into each other's arms. Elena couldn't help the smile that remained on her face. Her children were healthy and happy and asleep in their beds, her best friend and brother in law were about to become parents, her parents and in-laws were healthy and happy, Jenna and Ric were traveling the world, and Matt and Bonnie were engaged and planning on moving closer. Not to mention the man beside her was currently kissing his way up her neck.

"I'm so happy," Elena sighed.

Damon pressed a kiss to her mouth, which deepened for a moment before he pulled back and whispered, "Me too."

"Do you ever think about how we might not have ended up together?" she wondered out loud.

He paused, easing back and meeting her eyes. "It's not exactly something I like to think about."

"Me either," she agreed. "It's just crazy how you think about all the times we got in our own way, or the universe did."

Damon kissed her forehead, nose, and lips. "I like to look at it as all that did was make me appreciate you more. If I hadn't known what life without you was like I wouldn't feel the way I do actually being with you."

Her hand danced along his chest as she looked up into his eyes. "So the obstacles just made you love me more?"

"It made it more real."

Having no words, she brought her lips to his and melted against him. She felt everything he did. The reason she had never been able to stay away from Damon was because he was the most real thing she had ever felt. He moaned against her mouth and she opened up to him, deepening the kiss. Her body craved him after not having him since before Rafe was born.

"Do you think we can?" she whispered, eyes shifting towards her son's sleeping form.

Damon's eyes went wide, eager, hungry. "Not in this room. The shower?"

Elena nodded and let him ease her quietly off the bed. They kissed their way to the shower, shedding clothes as they walked. Damon got the shower going and a mist of steam filled the room, covering both their bodies with a glistening sweat. She pleaded with him to be careful as they stepped underneath the cascading water because of what her body had been through; the birth and tearing, and he responded with gentle kisses down to her breasts and abdomen, with kisses like promises to take it slow and be soft with her.

She relaxed against the tile as he worshipped her with his mouth, easing her body wider with his tongue and then his fingers. When the familiar sensation began to seize her body, shooting out to her arms and legs, he supported her with his body and let her ride it out. Then he placed a gentle kiss against her and kissed his way up before landing back on her lips.

"You tell me if it hurts," he said quietly. "We'll stop."

Her answer was to reach down and run her hand along his length with slow ministration before guiding him towards her body. Damon lifted her up and slowly eased himself inside. She whimpered a bit at first and then her body seemed to relax, letting go of the fear of pain. It didn't hurt as bad as she was expecting, and once the pain subsided they were both able to let go.

They kept it slow, relearning each other, their fingers and mouths traveling down familiar paths of skin. It was instinct at this point, being with him. She knew his body, knew every scar and birthmark and freckle. Still, she never wanted to stop exploring him and thinking of him as a part of her own soul. Because the love that she felt for him intertwined their spirits.

"Promise me this is forever," she breathed as she felt her body reaching that sweet release once again. They had exchanged vows and tied their lives together with children, but for some reason in this moment she needed to hear him promise it to her again.

Damon stared into her eyes as she spiraled down it, falling down with her and clutching against her, trying to mold their bodies as one. And when they came out of the haze, she found that his eyes had never left hers, and after a searing kiss he pulled back and said, "I promise."

And they were forever. There wasn't a doubt in her mind about it.

They were in the happily ever after of their story, the riding off into the sunset. It hadn't been the fairytale story she had dreamed about as a little girl watching Disney movies, but it was real and it was theirs and that made it so much more.

And to think they almost didn't happen. _Almost._


End file.
